Bye, Bye, Apple Pie
by hb.writes
Summary: Dean and his sister Nora have spent the last year adjusting to the 'apple pie' life with Lisa and Ben. For the youngest Winchester, this meant adjusting to life without hunting, without Sam, and without Castiel. Follow along as the Winchester brothers and their little sister navigate life starting in Season 6. Editing/updating new chapters very slowly these days.
1. Chapter 1

Something had felt _ **different**_ in town over the last few weeks.

I had yet to see anything out of the ordinary or any evidence of it at all, but I could feel something in the air. I was naturally curious, or as my brother Dean often said, naturally suspicious on account of my upbringing. We all were. The uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach was enough to convince me to start poking around, not that I needed much convincing. After almost 11 months off in the same place, I was eager for a little excitement. And for the first time in a very long time, I took what I thought was the easy route and I didn't tell Dean about what I was doing. Sure, he was my big brother, my legal guardian and at times, my best friend, but ever since Sam went down in the pit, things had changed for us. He was weird about all things hunting and supernatural. Dean became annoyed with me talking about it, especially when Ben and Lisa were around. So, I didn't tell him. I avoided the lecture.

During lunch, I skipped the food line and headed straight out to the courtyard, aiming for the wooded area just beyond. Something had been calling me there for weeks. Call it a hunter's instinct, call it a girl's intuition, whatever it was – I knew I was being led to those woods. I had done some research, but there was very little to go on once Dean had snatched our father's journal back. I was left with google and the school library which had led me to Sasquatch, the Jersey Devil and wendigos - three options that I quickly eliminated.

"Where do you think you're going?" Madeline's voice entered my ears and I felt my body tense up, my fists balled at my sides.

I groaned out loud as I turned to face her. From the moment I met the girl, I knew I wanted nothing to do with her, but Madeline Miller had somehow managed to be in the vast majority of my classes, she lived next door and babysat Ben from time to time. I had put a stop to her babysitting on a regular basis within a few weeks of settling in at Lisa's house. I earned my first ever grounding from the stunt I pulled, but I figured that if it got her out of at least one corner of my life, it was well worth it. Almost a year later and I still didn't understand how things got to this point between us. More than anything, I just wanted to be left alone. I stayed to myself. I talked in classes when I needed to and I had joined the school's community service club, but I hadn't any connections that weren't necessary. I hadn't stolen Maddie's boyfriend, I wasn't in the running for prom queen. At this point, my actions didn't affect Madeline Miller. That didn't stop her from reporting each and every infraction regardless of severity.

"Just taking a walk. I need a little one on one time with nature. Get lost, Maddie."

"Those woods are out of bounds," she answered pragmatically.

"You're kidding, right? What is this some Harry Potter and the Forbidden Forest shit?" I rolled my eyes and Madeline looked like she didn't appreciate the reference.

"It's off grounds, Eleanora. And you are up to something. You are always up to something and you are such a poor role model for Ben. It's a shame that you had nowhere else to go so Dean had to drag you here with him. I'm sure he would prefer not to have to deal with you for the rest of his life."

Maddie Miller knew far too much about my personal life, something which bothered me to no end. She was friendly with Lisa, Dean and Ben. I had endured several forced dinners and barbecues with her family because Dean was friends with her dad, been a part of too many discussions that left me feeling exposed to the girl I considered an adversary in my pathetic high school life.

"You know what? Fuck you," I answered as my body moved naturally into a fighting stance. I only got two punches in before I felt a teacher pull me away from her and hand deliver me to the Principal's office.

"Eleanora Winchester."

It was the third time that my name had been called by the school receptionist, but I hadn't been listening. I had been staring down at my hands in my lap, none too keen to meet the receptionist's eyes. She would lead me to Principal Keenan, which would lead to me getting out of school early, which would lead to a phone call home to Dean and Lisa. When I didn't appear in his office after being called, Mr. Keenan arrived at my side and removed the earbud by pulling gently on the cord so it fell onto my shoulder.

"Let's go, Miss Winchester," he said flatly.

At times Mr. Keenan found me witty and charming. We were friendly when we saw each other around school or around town. He and Dean were poker buddies, but I didn't see that being particularly helpful right now. I pulled my bag over my shoulder and took my seat across from him, trying to look like as innocent as I could muster considering that I was entirely guilty.

"You know, I don't think I have ever had a student that has managed to be a bigger pain in my ass than you have been in the last year," he offered without the slightest hint of a smirk or a smile.

"I find that very hard to believe, Mr. K. I do pretty much all of my homework. I'm an A student. I'm even in the service club."

He rolled his eyes at me and opened the file on his desk.

"Fighting again, Eleanora?" he asked, bored with my behavior.

"It's Nora," I answered, finally feeling fed up with hearing my full name. At this rate, I figured I would be hearing it a lot, "And that b-, I mean, Madeline started it, not me."

"Well, that's not how the three eye witnesses relayed the story and that's the same excuse you used last time," he answered.

"Are you serious? Those are her best friends, Mr. Keenan. They weren't even out there when it all started."

"Those three friends are on the Honor Roll and have never caused any trouble at this school. You're serving detention for the rest of the week and I will take an essay on my desk tomorrow morning," he said before I could get another word in.

I felt my jaw drop, "A whole week?"

"You're lucky it's not more than that," he answered.

"Fine," I grumbled, "Just call Lisa instead of Dean. Dean's on-site working today."

"Sorry, nice try kid, but Dean's your primary contact. You can go wait out in the office. I'm sure he'll be here to collect you soon."

I scowled, but headed back out to the waiting room of the main office where I dozed off, listening to the music through my headphones. A hand snaked under my arm and pulled me upwards, snapping me back into consciousness. I stood up quickly with the aid of my brother's forceful hand and once settled on my feet, I tried to pry his fingers off of me to no avail. He towed me over to the receptionist's desk in his wake.

"I'm taking this one with me," he said gruffly before releasing his grip.

"Not a problem, Mr. Winchester, just sign right here," the receptionist answered with a smile as she pointed to the next vacant spot sign out sheet. She stared hungrily at Dean as he scratched out my name and signed beside it. Dean was oblivious to the cute receptionist's unrelenting attempts to garner his attention and I gathered that meant he was pissed at me.

"Have a nice day," Dean offered, oblivious.

I started for the door, but he grabbed my arm and led me through it. I pushed him away, but he just held me tighter.

"Dean, I can walk just fine on my own. It's quite a bit more comfortable that way, actually."

"Yeah, and if I was smart, you wouldn't be able to sit comfortably for the next week, so I would watch the attitude if I were you."

I cringed and fell in line, allowing him to lead me to the parking lot. I wasn't eager to test my brother's limits. It was a threat I hadn't heard in a while and one I had rarely ever heard from Dean. I chanced a glance up at him, but he had his eyes focused on the truck. I climbed in the passenger seat of Dean's pickup and immediately turned the music up when he turned the key. Dean turned it down before pivoting his body to face me.

"First rule, do not touch my tunes. Second rule, you do not under any circumstances get into fights at school."

"I know, I know, we've been over this," I answered with a flip of my hand.

"Exactly. We have been over this how many times over the last-," he started.

"over the last entirety of my life?" I finished with a chuckle.

"Quit interrupting me, Nora. It's not cute," Dean answered sternly, "You're going to take this seriously or I will make you wish you had taken it seriously, understand?"

I shut my mouth and looked straight ahead in the truck. All three of them, meaning my father and my brothers, had always had a tendency to ask for my understanding when they were angry. I figured that they just wanted to hear me say 'yes sir,' and if they were upset enough to require that, I was intimidated enough to oblige.

"I asked if you understand me," Dean said.

"Yes, sir, I understand just fine," I said quietly, not looking at my brother for the rest of the ride home. He pulled into the driveway and I gathered my bag in my lap, preparing to run up to my room the second we were below 5 mph.

"And before you try and run off, you will wait for the vehicle to come to a complete stop. You will go straight up to your room. You will start that essay for Mr. Keenan. When you are finished with that, you can start translations and then I will be up and we can finish this. I don't want to hear a sound or see you leave that room until I say so, understood?"

"Yes, sir," I mumbled, waiting for him to put the truck in park before getting out. I ran up the stairs as quickly as I could manage without pissing him off and shut the door quietly behind me. Without Dean having to say it, I unplugged my main electronic devices and placed them on the end of the bed, including my tablet, laptop and cell phone. I knew he would be up to confiscate them eventually.

I started the essay for Mr. Keenan, paraphrasing my last essay and quoting a random famous person on the value of non-violence. By the time I finished, it was only 1:45 and I was a little surprised that Dean had yet to come up. He usually liked to take care of things like this privately, when Ben and Lisa weren't home. Usually, things were all settled and everyone was on their best behavior by the time everyone got home.

I looked out the window to see Dean in the front driveway, working on his truck. i backed away from the window when he stood u, taking a sip of his beer and making direct eye contact with me. I sat back down on my bed, and pulled out Sam's old book of exorcisms. It had always been Sam's go-to consequence when I fell out of line, but Dean had adopted it over the years as well.

"Nora," he said, standing just inside my doorway.

I hadn't heard Dean enter, but hunting had made him stealthy considering his size. I knew better than to keep him waiting long for a response and he sounded calmer than he had earlier which was comforting.

"Yes, sir?" I asked quietly, looking up from my notebook.

"You have some explaining to do."

I closed the books and set them on the bed beside me as my brother waited for me to talk.

"Dean, I'm trying here. I really am, but she just won't leave me alone. It's like any time I do anything even slightly close to breaking a rule she-" I was rambling, talking with my hands and I let them fall to my side when Dean interrupted me.

"And what rule were you close to breaking today?" he asked.

"Nothing, Dean. I was just talking a walk during lunch. I needed some air. You know how stifling high school can be."

I had hoped that my statement would garner a little sympathy from my brother. School had never been something he had been interested in, unlike me and Sammy. I had always liked learning and I had always liked when I was enrolled in a school for a few months. I had always had issues with the other kids, but I reveled in talking with the adults. Dean sighed and pushed his hand through his short hair and it was abundantly clear that he didn't believe me.

"So what you really mean is that you were going in those damn woods again. What the hell is it with you and not letting things go when I tell you to? I checked it out, Nora. There was nothing there," Dean said. He had humored me when I first brought him the idea of something supernatural lurking around town. He had done his due diligence and checked it out.

"It's not like I'm doing it because I like when you freak out at me. I'm trying-," I was stopped mid-sentence.

"Your version of trying is not going to cut it anymore. We are trying to live a normal life, Nora. You getting into fights once a week isn't normal."

"It's normal for me. That girl is evil and we fight evil."

Dean was now holding an unyielding scowl. He had that disappointed look in his eye and in a moment of weakness, I allowed myself look away.

"She is not evil; she's just a girl that you don't like. Fighting is not your normal anymore. You're going to fall in line starting right now, Eleanora Winchester. You are going to behave yourself, no talking back, no sneaking out, straight A's, being good to Ben and Lisa."

I interrupted, "I am good to-."

"I said no talking back!" he snapped, "All of this crap ends now. I can't be leaving work early to deal with you fighting at school. I won't give Sid any more excuses as to why there seems to be so many issues between the two of you, especially when you've been the one to start it every time. If it doesn't stop now, you will seriously regret it, got it?"

I looked away from him, fiddling with the stitch in my comforter. Living in this house was the first time I had ever really had a room to myself. Of course I considered the guest room at Bobby's mine, but this was different. This was the first bedding set I ever got to pick out and the first walls I got to paint and adorn with pictures. Lisa had insisted that we redecorate the room when Dean and I moved in, seeing as it was mine now. Dean scoffed when I chose a coral, white and turquoise colored bedding set and coral paint, a color which he described as pink. Dean placed his hand over mine, stopping me from fidgeting.

"I asked you a question, young lady," he said, his voice raised in annoyance, but only slightly.

"Yes, fine, whatever, I understand," I answered, pulling my hand away and standing up to go occupy myself with something else. He reached around and smacked my butt.

"Ow, Jesus, Dean!" I said, moving away from him to the other side of the room, putting my back against the dresser.

"Do you need a reminder of what it means to show respect?" he asked.

"No," I muttered, feeling pretty annoyed with him for hitting me. It was nothing really in the scheme of things. There was still a sting, but it had been harmless. If anything, I felt embarrassed and Dean knew that. He had never intentionally hurt me before, neither of my brothers were like that.

"No what?" he said moving towards me.

"No, sir," I corrected, raising my hands slightly in surrender.

"Good. Then, as I said before, you cut the shit right now. I want you to be an absolute perfect angel. And you're grounded, 2 weeks," he said.

I felt him staring, but didn't look up.

"You will wake up early, we'll go for a run. You will go to school. You will come straight home. You will do your homework. You will do chores. You will write translations. You will go to bed early. No electronics. No damn hunting or whatever it is you think you are doing. Are we understood?"

"Yes, sir."

I had become very familiar with the situation known as 'grounding' since living with Ben and Lisa. While on the road, punishments like this didn't exist. He wasn't going to take away the laptop. He needed me to do research. He wasn't going to take away hunting. Sometimes I was needed to gather information or act as a watch. A few times they had even let me take part in the actual hunt, but now it was all too easy for him to restrict just about every freedom I had. We weren't in life threatening situations on a daily basis. We were in the suburbs.

"And if you step out of line, you know what the consequences will be, correct?"

"Yes, correct," I answered.

He stared at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Correct, sir," I rectified myself.

"You know this isn't how I want to be with you, right kiddo?"

I couldn't help but let a smile pull across my face as he said the words.

"But I can't just let you go unchecked. There have to be consequences, okay?"

I nodded.

"Alright, go start dinner. Lisa left some chicken defrosting in the fridge."

As I started the chicken parmesan recipe that Lisa left on the counter, I found my thoughts wandering to how much things had changed since Sam sacrificed himself to stop the apocalypse. The very same day that Sam went to the cage Dean brought me to Lisa's and she welcomed us with open arms. It was nice having a woman around, having a little brother in Ben, having a room, a home, but it had its drawbacks. Dean's expectations were different now. The rules had drastically changed from those employed on the road. Dean had different ideas of how I should be now that we lived the apple pie life. He had never allowed for disobedience or talking back, but now grades and school and chores mattered too. I got restless from time to time, staying in the same place for so long. Sometimes, Dean let me visit Bobby on the stipulation that whatever happened while I was there stayed there. And other times, Dean sent me to Bobby's when I was driving him too crazy. That was never as enjoyable seeing as Bobby was not too pleased if I was being a pain in Dean's butt. My brother was more Dad-like than ever which made me grateful for Ben because at least I wasn't the only one requiring his attention. Still, Lisa disciplined Ben and stayed out of disciplining me. Dean was the same with Ben, though who knows what they discussed when the two of us weren't around.

I took my time preparing dinner knowing that it was probably the most exciting thing that I would get to do all evening. By the time that I slid the pan in the oven, Lisa and Ben were just arriving home. I offered a quiet hello when they stepped into the kitchen and Lisa turned around, surprised to see me.

"Hey Nora, you're home early," she said eyeing me curiously, "And you started dinner? You really didn't have to do that."

Dean came in the room with a grim expression on his face as he looked at me though he quickly transferred it to a smile as he wrapped his arms around Lisa and kissed her on the cheek. I did love to see him so happy.

"I'm sure that this will surprise you to hear that our very own Eleanora Winchester decided to get herself sent home early from school today, so she's grounded for the next two weeks."

I felt my face getting hot with embarrassment as I turned my back to them, focusing my attention on the dishes in the sink. I had hoped to ride out the conversation in silence, making an exit from the kitchen once they moved on to something else.

"Isn't that right, Nora?" Dean prompted.

"Yes, sir," I answered with a false chipper quality to my voice as I continued with the dishes.

"How was your day?" he asked Lisa after a pause.

"It was good. Mr. Ben here got a 100% on that science test Nora helped him study for."

"Hey dude, great job, man," Dean said and clapped Ben on the shoulder. I smiled watching from the sink. Sure, I was currently the bad child, the black sheep between Ben and I; I usually was. Still, I had helped Ben with that test big time.

"Guess all that hard work paid off," I said with a smile, offering Ben a high five.

"It did. Thanks Nor. We can celebrate tonight. Maybe we can get ice cream after the movies tonight?"

Ben looked so excited that even though I knew Dean would never let me go, I couldn't squash the small light of hope I held. Even Lisa had a hint of hopefulness in her eyes.

"No, you know the rules, Nora. I'm sorry, Ben, Nora's not going anywhere for the next two weeks."

"But it's not for me. It's celebrating Ben," I tried, a desperate effort.

"The only thing you should be celebrating is that you didn't some sense beat into you the minute we got home," he said quiet enough that I wasn't certain who out of the four of us heard it. An awkward silence fell over the room, making it clear that at least Lisa heard it. She suggested that Ben go upstairs to start his homework and she headed upstairs too.

"Your actions have consequences, for other people too," Dean said.

"Ugh. You're being ridiculous," I scoffed and threw the towel at the counter, "I need some air."

I walked towards the door and Dean stopped me with a hand on my arm.

"Go for a run. Five miles and I want you back in time for dinner."

"You're joking right? Dinner will be ready in less than 40 minutes."

"Better get going then," he answered with a shrug of his shoulder.

"Whatever."

"I think you meant to say 'yes, sir' and you'd better lose that attitude somewhere along the way, understood?"

"Yes, sir," I answered as I pulled on my running shoes and headed out the door, letting it slam behind me as I left.


	2. Chapter 2

"You look nice," I offered as I came down stairs to see Dean and Lisa all dressed up for date night.

"Yeah, if you're into monkey suits," Dean responded, though he still had a smile on his face.

"You look really handsome," I offered sincerely, straightening his tie, "Very dapper."

He scoffed at me and the language. Lisa went to answer the door and I looked to Dean with confusion.

"Hi Maddie – I'm so glad you could make it."

"What the hell is she doing here?" I directed at Dean.

"Let's talk upstairs," he responded, heading towards the stairs.

"No, tell me wh-," I started.

Dean grabbed my arm and guided me towards the stairs but I pulled myself free, walking in front of him up the steps. I tried to shut the door before he entered, but instead he simply stuck out a hand to stop it from hitting him.

"You want to cut it out?" he asked.

"Not really. Why is she here?" I continued.

"Because you're still grounded. Ben needed a responsible babysitter. I'm not going to punish Ben just because you're not allowed to do anything. She's taking him out to see a movie and probably dinner."

"But why her?"

"Because she's a responsible sitter, we know her and Ben likes her."

"And I'm not responsible? Ben likes me just fine. We don't need a babysitter, Dean."

"It's non-negotiable. Sid is a friend and you are the one who messed up here, not her. You hit her, remember? She's here to watch Ben. To keep him occupied. You've got enough to keep yourself occupied with. Stay up here for the whole night for all I care, but don't cause any trouble with her."

"I'm in charge of me. Just want to make sure that's clear."

"No, I'm in charge of you and you will be respectful of the damn girl. I don't see what your big issue is."

"That's because you don't listen to me. I've told you."

"Don't start with that crap, Nora. You were in the wrong, not her."

"I'm staying in my room. If you could, just tell them both not to bother me," I answered, turning away from him and pulling my arms up across my chest. I felt like I ended the conversation, but I knew better. Dean ended conversations when he was ready to end them.

"I want at least an extra chapter translated then."

"Your wish is my command," I answered.

"You know, you really should be a little less sarcastic when you're already this deep in trouble."

"This is humiliating, Dean. Having her here. You know that, right?"

"Yes, I know that. Behave yourself tonight, Nora," he answered as he shut my door behind him.

I knew his only motivation hadn't been to make me feel this way, but his response made me feel like it was a perk in his eyes, though it really made no difference. He was in charge, not me. I worked on the extra chapter of translations for a few hours before my stomach wouldn't let me hold out for any longer. I snuck down the stairs as quietly as I could to the kitchen, which happened to be the room where Ben and Madeline were sitting.

"Hey Nor," Ben said as I walked in.

"Hey Ben," I replied, not looking at them and walking straight to the fridge.

"Eleanora, we were just going to get some pizza. We could bring some back for you if you'd like that."

"Nope," I responded, popping the p at the end.

"Ben, can you excuse us for a second?" Madeline asked and I internally groaned, continuing to look through the fridge for the leftover macaroni and cheese I had made the night before.

"Yeah, sure. Are you ok with that, Nor?" he asked. I smiled at Ben. He was a sweet kid and loyal as hell. I couldn't be mad at him for liking this girl, especially when he was still trying to protect my feelings. I loved having someone like a little brother, someone to lead, someone to protect.

"Yeah, Ben, it's fine. This'll just take a second."

I waited until Ben was out of earshot before I even turned to look at her. She had a large bruise on the side of her face, but it was covered well with makeup. She had a frown on her face.

"I think we need to talk, Eleanora."

"Strange because I think you and I have done a little too much talking over the last year."

"Why don't you like me?" she asked.

"Excuse me?" I asked, "You cannot be serious right now. Can we recap the last year? You are not and never have been a friend to me. Sure, my family may like you, but you are in no way connected to me. I want you to stay the hell out of my life. Whatever it is you think you are doing to help me, just stop because it's not helping. You've gotten me in trouble more times than I can count this year because you can't mind your own fucking business. I mean, seriously, who tells their neighbor to say you saw their child out at 2 AM on a school night or reports a student talking back to the principal when the teacher doesn't report it. You are insane, Madeline."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Eleanora."

Madeline reached out and placed her hand on top of mine as she got up to walk away. I pulled it away and watched her leave, grateful to have the house to myself. This girl was certifiably insane. I mean, I basically bitched her out and she had the nerve to touch me. I couldn't explain it in its entirety. In theory, there was nothing wrong with her – she was just a little miss perfect with a complex for making sure people followed the rules. And I was her project. Still, I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something off about her.

After eating my dinner in peace, I headed into Dean and Lisa's room to find my confiscated laptop and took up residence on the reading chair in the corner of their room. I clicked on the first movie in the 'recently watched' section of the Netflix queue and watched some horror flick Dean and Lisa must have just watched, figuring this would be less suspicious than if I watched the next episode of Dr. Who, but after an hour, I heard a noise outside and put the laptop away, heading back to my room. I could hear Dean and Lisa talking from the hallway downstairs. He looked in on me just as I was pulling my translations back onto my lap.

"How did it go?" he asked.

"Fine, they went out to the movies," I answered, not bothering to look up from the book in my lap.

"And Maddie's answer will be the same? Everything went fine?"

"I don't know what her answer will be. She's a freaking psychopathic liar, Dean."

I slammed the book and threw it on my floor beside the bed. Dean raised his eyebrow and came in the room, shutting the door behind him. I sat up against the headboard and moved to the other side of the bed as he sat down, making sure there was a little bit of distance in case he was angry.

"Can you be straight with me, Nora?" he asked, staring me in the eye.

"About what?" I asked.

"About Madeline Miller, about whatever it is that's going on with you," he answered.

"You don't do chick flick moments, Dean. Leave this chat for Lisa."

"You're my responsibility and we're having this moment. You are not a bad kid, Nora. I know that. I freaking raised you. You know better than this. You've been in trouble more in the last year than you have in your entire life."

"Well, you're different too," I offered quietly.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked.

I picked at the blanket, avoiding his gaze.

"Nora?" he repeated

"You're all rules, rules, rules, school, school, school. Since when do you even care about that? I just…You act like our old life never happened. I can't just do that."

"I don't expect you to forget it, but I expect you to follow the rules even if they have changed. Life has changed. You can't expect the rules to be the same."

Dean waited for a response, but it never came and I noticed that he took a long time before he continued.

"You used to have no problem doing as you're told," he said.

He was staring at me to gauge my reaction. I could feel it though I refused to look at him. He was right. I was a good little soldier, his good little soldier. I always had been. I rarely got yelled at growing up. Sure, the Winchester men had a soft spot for me, but I also was just a good kid considering the circumstances. I did what they asked. I didn't usually whine. When my Dad, Dean or even Sammy spoke, I just listened. Part of that was because I wasn't interested in the consequences of not listening. The other part was that I trusted them to know what was right. I finally looked up and Dean just looked sad.

"Well, I'm not a little girl anymore, Dean."

"That's not all this is," he answered, "It's about your problems with Maddie."

"I've been trying to tell you that for the last twelve months. I'm not going to lie to you. It's not like I'm never in the wrong, but she's just always there when I am. I feel like I'm being hunted by the damn girl."

"And you're not exaggerating?"

"No, Dean, I'm not-," I started, "Ok, fine. I don't know. Maybe, but there's just something off here. I can feel it."

"I'll talk to Lisa. We'll keep her away from you."

"Really?"

"I'm not going to force it as long as you're not still getting yourself grounded every other week. I didn't bring us here so you could be on lockdown all the time. I brought us here to have a normal, happy life, kiddo. I want you to put the hunting stuff behind you, Nora. I want you to enjoy being a kid. You've only got a few years of childhood left."

I nodded, though it wasn't in agreement.

"Go ahead and get to sleep, kiddo," Dean said as he pulled back the covers and I scooted underneath them.

"And just because you need to hear this, you'll always be a little girl to me, kiddo."

"Yeah, yeah. Doesn't mean you should get to boss me around all the time," I answered.

"I am your brother. I get to-," he started with a serious tone.

"Dean, you practically raised me," I answered, raising my hands in surrender, "Full parental rights as far as I am concerned."

He smiled and leaned down to kiss me on the forehead.

"See, that's the attitude I like to see. Goodnight, little girl."

"Goodnight, De," I answered with a smile.

When I woke up a few hours later, it took a few minutes before I could pinpoint what woke me. The scratching noise. It could have been nothing, maybe an animal, but I figured that it wouldn't hurt to check. The door to Dean and Lisa's room was still closed. I guessed that he didn't hear it. And after our talk about leaving hunting behind, I figured he wouldn't appreciate being woken because I thought a raccoon was a wendigo, so I grabbed my knife and headed downstairs to check it out myself. I needed a glass of water anyway.

The front porch was clear so I headed back to the kitchen. We had a motion sensor light out back, but it hadn't been tripped. I pushed open the door and stood in the entryway as I sipped on my water, watching the wind blow lightly through the bushes. The scratching started again and I set down the glass of water, picking up the flashlight and shining it towards the shed. The door to the shed was cracked open. I followed the noise. Though there was nothing too obvious in view, but I felt all of my hairs standing on end. I leaned in to pull the door open the rest of the way. There was nothing inside, but a scratch mark on the inside of the door. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move in the bushes. The light of the flashlight caught something, but by the time I had turned all the way around, it was out the yard and onto the street, the shadow of something running the only thing I could see. I followed as quickly as I could, but lost track of it two blocks down. As I leaned over to catch my breath, I noticed the telltale yellow powder on the ground near one of the light posts. I hustled back into the house and called for Dean.

"What's wrong?" he appeared at the stop of the stairway, a slight panic on his face.

"There was a noise in our backyard, Dean," I said hurriedly.

"Lisa, I'm just checking on something. I'll be right back up," he said loud enough so that Lisa could hear.

"There was a demon in our backyard, Dean," I said once he reached me.

"What?" he asked, staring at me like I was a raving lunatic.

"I heard something outside so I went out to check and there was something in the backyard. I chased it down the street. I lost him, but there was sulfur on the ground."

"You what? What the hell were you thinking, Nora? You sit and don't move."

It wasn't exactly the response I was hoping for, but I followed instructions and sat on the arm of the couch, still facing him. Dean stuck his hand in the closet and pulled out a gun he had stashed there. He looked at me again.

"Where did you see the powder?"

"Corner of Ashby and Clark. I'll come with you," I answered.

"You'll stay put. I'll check it out."

"But-," I started.

"Get off that arm and get comfortable."

Dean and Lisa had a thing about us sitting on the arm of the couches. Apparently it ruined the couches. I rolled my eyes, but slid off the arm, taking a seat on the cushion closest to the door. It was less than five minutes before Dean was back and he didn't look happy. It took him a few moments to put away the gun and make his way to me. He paced back and forth without looking at me.

"Dean? What's wrong?" I asked.

"What's wrong is I don't know what to do with you. I mean, I thought we were good after that conversation earlier. Now you're lying about seeing a demon and sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night?"

"I'm not lying," I answered, "Let me show you."

I stood up, but Dean grabbed my arm.

"Sit down, Nora. Enough is enough. I don't want to hear another word about hunting, demons or the supernatural, got it? My patience is nearing its end and it's done. Do you understand?"

"No, I'm not lying about it. I know what I saw."

"Go to bed, we'll talk about it in the morning."

"But."

"Eleanora Campbell Winchester, I told you to go to bed. What did you not understand about that?"

Defeated, I headed up the stairs as Dean headed to find a bottle of liquor. I quietly shut my door and got back in bed, listening to the scratching noise outside, but not daring to move.


	3. Chapter 3

For lack of a better term, I felt like I was on the verge of going crazy, but I didn't let Dean or Lisa know that. I was trying to follow Dean's firm suggestion and avoiding tracking whatever it was I was feeling, hearing and seeing out of the corner of my eye, but it was making me edgy. I sat at the counter with Ben while he ate breakfast, slowly slipping my coffee as I stared blankly ahead through the kitchen window.

"Are you alright?" Ben asked.

"Yeah, fine," I answered, not pulling my gaze to him.

"I hear you at night," he replied in a whisper, "You're having bad dreams."

"I'm fine, Ben," I insisted.

"You can talk to me about it," he said.

"Ben, if there was something to talk about I would," I answered roughly.

"You should at least tell Dean then."

"Ben, shut-," I started.

"Tell Dean what?" Dean asked, pouring himself a cup of coffee and coming to stand across from us at the counter, "And I hope you weren't just about to tell Ben to shut up."

I exhaled deeply and glanced at Ben, not bothering to hide that I was annoyed.

"Well? What is it you should tell me?"

"It's not important," I answered, "I just, I've just been thinking about Sam a lot lately."

Dean stared at me, a sad look in his eyes.

"Ben, why don't you finish getting ready for school?" he said.

Ben hopped off the stool and headed up the stairs. Dean continued to look at me and it only served to make me feel guilty. Of course, I wasn't lying. I did miss Sam and I thought about him every day, but that wasn't what this was about. We just didn't talk about Sam or Cas. It was like an unspoken agreement that neither of us wouldn't bring it up. But I knew it was better to just give Dean an answer than to insist nothing was wrong.

"I'm sorry I brought it up. I have to go get dressed," I offered, getting up and walking towards the stairs.

Dean stopped me and pulled me in for a hug.

"It's okay to talk about it," he said, "I'm sorry if I make you think it's not."

"I don't want to talk about it, but thank you," I answered pulling away.

Dean had hands on both of my arms and held me about a foot away from him, studying my face.

"You look exhausted, kiddo."

"It's just my usual Monday morning look, Dean," I answered, "I haven't properly caffeinated yet."

"Okay, fine. Go get ready for school," he replied, letting me go, though I know he didn't believe me.

I hadn't tried to enter the woods at school in the last week, but I still felt pulled to whatever was in there. I had taken to eating my lunch in the courtyard and watching the woods. After waiting in line to get a cup of soup and a sandwich, I made my way to my usual spot on the bench. Around 2:45, I woke up on a cot in the nurse's office. I put my hand to my throbbing head and moaned when I felt the bandage.

"Don't sit up, sweetie. Your brother is on his way," the nurse said as she arrived at my side.

"You passed out during lunch, hit your head pretty hard on the way down. Another student found you on the ground at the end of the lunch period. We're recommending that you go to your doctor and have some tests done. It looks like a concussion, but we think you'll be just fine."

Great, I thought, this was the second day in a week that Dean had to come get me from school, taking off from work. At least I knew he wasn't going to take me to the doctor's office. This wasn't my first concussion and Winchesters didn't go to the doctor for much.

Dean appeared at my side about ten minutes later and signed me out of the nurse's office, helping me up and guiding me out to his truck. Once home, he settled me in bed and sat down beside me.

"What happened, kiddo?" he asked as I laid down on my pillow.

"I don't know," I answered honestly, "I was eating lunch and then I woke up in the nurse's office."

"It's always something, isn't it," he replied with a smirk.

Dean smoothed back the hair on my head.

"You get some rest, kiddo. I'll wake you up in a few hours."

I knew the concussion protocol. 2 hours of sleep and that then I got woken up. Dean shook me awake a few hours later and I pushed his hand away, pulling the covers over my head. I heard him chuckle.

"I need to see the whites of those eyes, you goofball," he said, tickling my side a bit.

"Don't, Dean. I'm injured."

I turned over in bed to look at him and he smiled.

"How are ya feeling, Nellie?" he asked.

I tried my best to glare at him. At this point, his use of "Nellie" was a term of endearment, but it had started during my childhood obsession with Little House on the Prairie. I made Sam and Dean watch it daily when we were stuck in the hotel rooms. Then, whenever I was being a brat, Dean called me Nellie after the bratty character on the show, which typically resulted in me throwing a bigger fit than I had been before.

"Just peachy," I answered.

He placed a hand on my forehead and pushed my hair back, causing me to wince.

"Yeah, well, you're certainly bruised like one," he answered.

I tried to sit up and look in the mirror, but he stopped me, leaning over to grab the handheld mirror on my dresser and handing it to me. The corner of my head was starting to turn black and blue and I had a significant bump.

"Jeez, that is not pretty," I said.

"You've looked worse," he answered, "Get some more sleep. I have plans with Sid tonight, but Lis will come check on you, okay?"

I nodded.

"You need any pain killers?" he asked.

I shook my head and he smiled, tucking me back in.

"That's my little girl; tough as nails."

The next time I woke up, it was because Ben was whispering my name and he had a bowl of soup on a tray in his hands.

"Are you hungry? Mom made soup," he said as I sat up in bed.

"Yeah, I am, thanks Ben," I answered, "I don't think I even touched my lunch today."

He set the tray on my lap and jumped on the other side of my bed, grabbing the remote and flipping on the TV. I stared at him without saying any words. My TV hadn't been on in almost two weeks, courtesy of my grounding.

"Hey, Ben."

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I got mad at you this morning. I just- well, sometimes Dean doesn't need to know everything about me."

Ben nodded and I grabbed for the remote when I saw Lisa walk in, trying to turn it off.

"Ben was watching, not me," I said, raising my hands in the air. I was so close to being ungrounded and I didn't want to test it.

"Dean doesn't need to know everything," she said smiling at me, "Scoot over, Ben."

I felt my body relax as the three of us sat in bed watching one of the earlier Harry Potter movies that was airing on TV. I thanked Lisa for making me soup and a few minutes after finishing, I fell back asleep. She woke me up once more before she headed to bed and said that Dean would check on me when he came home.

It was past 11:00 when I heard Dean come home. It was later than he usually got home from his Thursday night bro-fest with Sid. I tiptoed down the stairs and into the living room only to get slammed hard against the wall, with my arms pinned to my side.

"Ow, Dean, let go," I whimpered.

"What are you doing up?" he asked.

"I heard you come home. Why are you slamming your kid sister with a concussion into the wall? What's going on?"

"Nothing, go back to bed."

I stared at him, feeling like being defiant. He was being weird and there was no doubt about it. He didn't even apologize for slamming me so hard.

"Nora, bed, now," he said when I didn't move.

I turned to see Lisa staring at us from the top of the stairs.

"What's going on guys? It's late," she said.

"Nothing, Lis. Nora here was just getting her concussed little butt back up to bed. I'll be up in a few minutes – just want to make sure we're all locked up," he said.

"I'll check on you every couple of hours," he said as I headed up the stairs and back to my room, doing as I was told because I was still tired despite the fact that I had slept most of the day.

"Wake up, Eleanora."

I felt myself being pulled from sleep though my body was fighting it. The voice was familiar, comforting even. I felt his hand on my arm, the touch both gentle and rough at the same time.

"Dad?" I said questioningly, staring at the man in front of me.

I pulled away from him and moved to the other side of the bed. This couldn't be real. My father was dead. I had watched it happen. I watched while Dean and Sam and Bobby burned his bones, gave him a hunter's funeral. I grieved for months and months, getting myself in all sorts of trouble from outbursts related to losing him. Knowing all that, this couldn't be happening.

"Didn't think you could get rid of me so easy, did you?"

The words I was thinking wouldn't come. I stared at my father in total disbelief.

"You're lying to your brother, Nora. You know better than that. When Dean gives you an order, you follow it."

I lowered my head, hating the fact that this was how it was happening, whatever this was. I had thought my father was dead and here he was, first time he's seen me since he made the deal with the devil and he was chewing me out about not listening to my frickin brother.

"Dad, he told me-," I started.

"I don't care if he orders you to chew your own damn leg off. You listen to your goddamn brother, understood?"

"Yes, sir," I answered instinctively, "How are you here, Dad?" I added, quietly.

"I'm disappointed in you, Eleanora Winchester, ashamed even," he said, ignoring my question, "This misbehavior; it's not what I taught you; it's not what I passed to you in my blood."

He turned to look at me and his eyes were glowing yellow and his face morphed before my eyes. I rubbed my hands in my eyes, hoping that things would go back to normal, hoping that when I opened them again, I would be alone in my room, but I wasn't. He was merely on the other side of the room, looking at the pictures on my dresser.

"You're dead," I said firmly.

"Yeah? So was your father," he said laughing.

"You were ready to believe he was here," he said, "Our good friend Cas was brought back to life, why can't I be real? I have a purpose. I'm here to finish what I started. It's time for you to join the other Winchesters in hell, darling."

"Or maybe I'll take Dean back instead – leave you here. We all know that they would prefer it to be just the boys. Your mom only ever wanted the boys. That's why she sold you to me. Tried to bargain the promise of you if I left Sam alone. Well, I got you both, didn't I? Two for the price of one."

"That's a lie. You're not real. You're dead," I said, closing my eyes and willing myself to go back to a peaceful sleep, which thankfully came. I felt like I had been out for longer than two hours when I was shaken awake by Dean and I launched myself into his arms.

"I'm so glad it's you," I said.

"Kiddo, chill," he said, rubbing my back, "Your heart is racing. What's wrong?"

"Bad dreams," I mumbled into his shoulder. He held me at arm's length and I screamed when his eyes changed from green to yellow, the face morphing along with the eyes, just as my father's had. I pulled myself from his arms and ran to Dean and Lisa's room only to see Lisa on the ceiling, blood pouring from a wound in her stomach, surrounded by flames. Somewhere in my mind, I knew it was all a dream, but that didn't stop the fear from paralyzing me as I slid to the floor, just watching as my world unraveled around me.

I stirred awake on my own, no hand shaking my shoulder, no voices coaxing me into consciousness. I was in a room that I didn't recognize, on a cot with a blanket pulled over my body. I sat up and saw Dean sitting at a table with Sam; they were deep in conversation and didn't notice that I was awake. Dean looked exhausted. For a moment I breathed easy until my mind processed that Dean was sitting at a table. With Sam.

And I closed my eyes again, willing myself to wake up for real this time, to wake up in my bedroom, alone.

"Hey Nora," Sam said, walking over to me.

I kept my eyes closed as tightly as possible and pulled my knees to my chest, involuntarily rocking myself back and forth.

"It's not real. Sammy's dead. I'm just dreaming. I'll wake up. It's not real. Sammy's dead. I'm just dreaming. I'll wake up. It's not real. Sammy's dead. I'm just dreaming. I'll wake up."

I felt my breath pick up.

"Dean, get over here. She's freaking out," Sam's voice called.

I continued mumbling to myself until Dean shook me so hard that I opened my eyes and looked at him. I stared back and forth between Dean and Sam's forms, unable to think what my next step should be. Dean still had his hands on me and I pulled away. My head was still aching and his shaking me didn't help. My breathing was close to being out of control.

"Get it under control," Dean said firmly, knowing that I probably wouldn't calm down on my own.

"Prove that you're real," I countered, exasperated.

They exchanged looks and Dean rolled his eyes. My breath was still unsteady.

"We did this already. You need to relax. You're getting yourself all worked up."

"Prove you're fucking real!" I yelled.

"ALRIGHT!" Dean yelled back, "Watch the goddamn language!"

They both drank the salt water, splashed each other with holy water and cut their skin with the blade. I relaxed a little, but in a dream, those things would probably still happen

"Are you disappointed in me?" I asked.

"No, Nora, of course not," Sam answered automatically, lowering himself so he was at eye level, "Kiddo, I promise, it's me. You were hallucinating. A djinn had you and Dean."

I launched myself forward into Sam's arms and hooked my arms around his neck.

"I thought you were gone, Sammy," I mumbled into his chest.

He stood up with me still in his arms and hugged me close, while my feet dangled a foot from the ground. I breathed in. He wasn't the same Sammy that fell in the hole, but he was still Sammy.

"I thought I was gone, too, Nora, but I guess you guys need me. You're clearly too much of a handful for Dean to manage on his own from the sounds of it," he answered, placing me on the ground next to him with a parental look on his face.

I glared at Dean and with my eyes asked _what did you tell him_? Dean just shrugged.

"Since when are you one to not follow direct orders?" Sam asked.

"I don't know," I answered, looking at him innocently, imploring him to let it go.

"Alright, put 'em away, pup," he said, ruffling my hair, unimpressed with the pout on my face, "You're not in any trouble and I taught you everything you know."

"You didn't teach her everything, Sammy," Dean interrupted, "And since I'm your favorite brother and all, I'm not going to lie to you. Sometimes you're smarter than me and that's pretty damn disappointing."

I figured that Dean was probably feeling jealous of the attention that I was giving to Sam and thus, being an asshat, so I punched him in the arm before I even registered what he had said. A few seconds passed where he just stared at me with a raised eyebrow and then I hugged him, just feeling so relieved that I wasn't dreaming or being poisoned by a djinn. He hugged me back, holding my head to his chest.

"Mood swings aren't a symptom of concussions last time I checked," he said with a chuckle.

"I don't like djinns."

"It's alright, you're safe now."

"I thought I was dreaming and then you woke me up, but you weren't you and-,"

"You're safe now, little girl," he said again quietly, kissing my head.

For a moment, I let us stand there like that hugging. Dean didn't like it when I got hurt and this was different from the usual 'getting hurt'. This was psychological. He couldn't just wrap this up, douse it in some alcohol or give me a pain pill.

"Wait a sec, what did you mean I'm smarter than you?" I said, breaking the hug.

"I mean I should have listened to you when you said there was something out there," Dean said, "And you were right about Maddie. Well, at least, partially. Maddie had a djinn take her form."

A smirk grew on my face.

"I told you so," I answered, "I knew I was right."

"Oh, don't go getting all high and mighty. I'm still the big brother. I'm still in charge here."

"Yeah, you guys want to continue this later? We've got things to take care of. Nora, there are some people you need to meet," Sam said.

I followed Sam towards the door he held open where three men and woman were scattered around the room.

"Nora, this is Gwen, Mark and Christian, our cousins."

Sam pointed to each person in turn as they either waved or shook my hand.

"And this is Samuel."

"Samuel, meet-," Sam started.

"My granddaughter," he said, placing his hands on my shoulders, "Has anyone told you how beautiful you are, darling? Just like my Mary."

"You're my grandfather? I thought you died before I was born, before all of us were born."

"Something brought me back, just like your brother Sam here," he said with a smile and a clap on Sam's shoulder.

I nodded and stepped back to be in line with my brothers. I could sense that Dean wasn't feeling comfortable with all of this. Heck, I was confused and my dreams when I was being poisoned by the djinn weren't making me very comfortable with the idea of people coming back from the dead. Not to mention the headache and the concussion, but I kept quiet, letting the adults talk.

"So, explain to me again how you ended up at our house, Sam?" Dean pressed.

"The djinn got me first, but Samuel had the cure. You saw how it worked with Nora," he answered.

"Well, forgive me. This is a lot to take in, so if you don't mind going through it again. Why are they after us?"

"We killed one once," I said quietly from my spot, "maybe we staked their brother or something."

Dean nodded absently, as though he had forgotten that whole hunt.

"Well, anyway, I knew they would come for you after they got me."

"Wait, Ben and Lisa, they're at the house now. What if that thing-,"

"We've got someone watching, Dean. They're fine," Samuel insisted.

"No, we have to go check on them," I said.

"You got to take me there now," Dean said to the group, "You're staying here."

I opened my mouth to argue, but Dean turned to me with a serious look on his face.

"You have a concussion. You've been through a lot today. You're staying here with, with-," Dean looked around the room at the options.

"I'll stay with her," Gwen offered with a smile to me.

"You're staying here with Gwen. We'll come back for you, then we're going to Bobby's."


	4. Chapter 4

With some coaxing from Dean, I settled back onto the cot where I had been sleeping. Gwen kept her distance as we talked, taking a seat at the table as Dean pulled up the blanket expecting me to slide beneath it. I pulled the blanket from his hand and pushed it to the end of the cot, sitting with my legs dangling over the edge.

"You need to rest," he insisted with a frown.

"Dean, I could help, you know."

"I know you could," he answered, "But you've been hurt enough for one day. I've got to go. Be good, Nellie."

I huffed and crossed my arms across my chest. Dean responded by kissing my forehead and leaving the building to catch up with Sam, Mark, Christian and my grandfather. I turned my attention to Gwen once Dean was through the door. She looked like she could hold her own, but something about Gwen seemed softer, kinder, than the rest of the Campbell family and I tried to force the bitchiness out of my face. I was thankful that she offered to stay with me.

"He really cares for you," she offered while pulling her chair over to where I sat, "They both do."

"I know. It's just not easy being their little sister. I'm a good hunter when they let me be one."

"Trust me, Nora, I understand- You don't think they treat me any different, do you? I will say the Campbell men are always glad when us girls save their asses though," Gwen answered with a smile.

I couldn't stop myself from chuckling. I had managed to save the boys on a few occasions, mostly by disobeying orders, but nobody had died, so I avoided repercussions that usually accompanied falling out of line.

"So, our grandparents were cousins?" I asked.

"Something like that," she answered.

"And you were raised in the life?"

"My father and your father were pretty similar by the sounds of it. He passed while on a job a few years back."

I frowned, but didn't apologize like most people did. I knew how awkward that felt.

"Were you there?"

"Fighting another monster right there beside him. We fought side by side right up until the end," she offered, "He was the only family I had until Samuel rounded up this rag tag bunch. It's a good group, really. You'll like them."

I nodded. I liked Gwen, I really did, but there was something holding me back. As much as I hated it, I knew that I was just feeding off of Dean. After all of the years being with him through life threatening hunts of the supernatural and the occasional life threatening reprimands, reading him and adjusting my behavior accordingly was almost subconscious at this point.

"Sam seems to," I answered.

"Yeah, we've all gotten fairly close over the last year."

My breath caught in my throat.

"The last year? Sam was in hell."

"Not quite," Gwen answered, the look on her face purely regret, "I met Sam almost 11 months ago. I'll tell you about it, if you would like."

I shook my head and looked away. I didn't want to hear the details from her. I wanted Sam to explain himself to me.

"I'm sure that Sam is planning on telling you all about it," she offered, "You two haven't had much of a chance to talk."

"Why are you even defending him?"

"He's family."

I nodded, pulling the covers over me as I laid down on the cot. Gwen got the hint and headed to the other room. I let myself cry the tears that I had been holding in since I woke up and saw Sam and Dean sitting together at the table. It wasn't that I never cried in front of my brothers. It was generally frowned upon by my father and the boys weren't exactly thrilled, but they were comforting when it did happen. This felt different though, like I was in it alone. I sobbed as silently as I could until the hiccups set in. I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but I let the tears bring me to sleep, grateful that this time, I didn't dream.

Dean nudged me awake what could have been hours later. Time wasn't relevant to me at this point.

"Come on, you can sleep on the way to Bobby's."

I stirred awake and didn't argue as he pulled me to my feet, draping a jacket over my shoulders. I was silent as Dean led me outside to Baby, joining Ben and Lisa in the backseat. Ben was asleep in the middle seat leaning against Lisa.

"How are you feeling, Nora?" Lisa asked.

"I'm fine," I answered quietly.

It was just like Lisa to ask. Dean was uprooting hers and Ben's life to take them to some safe house with some old, monster-hunting kook, and she was concerned with how I was feeling. She gave me a sad smile that told me she knew I was lying. I nodded off around two hours into the drive, but awoke not too far from Bobby's. It was already early morning, but still dark. I kept my eyes closed and my breathing steady, but didn't go back to sleep.

"We should leave her with Bobby, Sam. She got a concussion 24 hours ago."

"We need to stay together," Sam countered.

"Well, Nora and I have been together. It's not our fault you were off doing the family business with another family. Don't think that you can come back in here after a year of lying to us and act like you know what's best for her. She's not the same girl you left last year."

At least Dean was giving Sam hell for that. I peeked with one eye to see Sam's reaction.

"You might as well join the conversation since you're awake," Dean said, noticing me in the rearview mirror.

We were just about to Bobby's anyhow, so I opened my eyes and sat myself up. Dean studied me in the mirror and I could feel Sam's eyes on me as well, so I pretended to be very interested with the trees on the side of the road.

"You're staying at Bobby's, kiddo. That's final."

"Come on!" I complained, "That's not fair!"

"Eleanora Winchester, if you wake up Ben-," he started.

I rolled my eyes.

"What the hell are you going to do about it? You gonna pull baby over and make me regret it?" I questioned mockingly. It was one of our father's most overused phrases and I knew it was right on the tip of Dean's tongue.

"I'll seriously consider it if you ever even think about talking to me like that again."

"Whatever. You're just being a stubborn idiot. You know I can help, Dean," I said.

"She's right, you know," Sam offered.

"You stay the hell out of it, Sam. Neither of us trusts your opinion anymore anyway," I responded.

"Get rid of the goddamn attitude, Nora. You don't talk to your brother like that," Dean snapped as quietly as he could while still communicating his frustration.

"I can talk to him however the fuck I want to!" I answered, kicking his seat.

It was an involuntary response- years of pent up frustrations had resulted in me kicking Dean's seat. I would wait miles and miles after he made me angry, just waiting for us to stop somewhere. The second our father got out of the car, I would kick the back of his seat. I knew it was childish, and I rarely swore at either of my brothers, but I was mad and this was one sure way to convey it to him. He caught my eye in the mirror as we pulled into Bobby's driveway and I could tell he was livid so I smirked at him. I knew I wasn't going to stick around long once he parked the car, so he'd have time to cool off. Plus, Bobby never let the boys let me give it to me too hard.

"When we get there, you can head right up to your room. You're still grounded."

As soon as Dean stopped the car, I jumped out and headed for Bobby's car lot, quickly disappearing beyond the rows of trashed cars.

"Damn it, Nora," I heard Dean yell as he slammed baby's door, which I had left hanging open as I sprinted away.

I sunk down into a decrepit jeep with tinted windows, staring at the ceiling while lying on my back. I had never been one to run and hide when I got myself in trouble, but these days I felt like Dean and I both needed time to relax before dealing with each other and now Sam was back in the equation again, which would change things up again. If one thing was consistent in my life, I was starting to realize that it was change.

When I was little, I knew what to expect – a week or two here or there, a few months at Bobby's, a little time with Pastor Jim. I never got myself too settled. I knew the hierarchy – essentially, I listened to everyone else's orders. Things were more complicated now. Ben and Lisa were involved. Sammy seemed different and he and Dean weren't on the same page.

Twenty minutes later, I heard a knock on the window.

"I'm not interested in punching through the window, Nora. Open up," Sam called.

I didn't answer him; I didn't move a muscle.

"Eleanora Winchester, just open the door," Sam said, his tone betraying his attempt to remain patient.

I pulled up the lock and slid to the other side of the backseat, looking out the window. I wasn't sure exactly where things were with Sam. I had basically told him to shut up and mind his own business, so he could be mad at me, but at the same time, he's the one in hiding for the last year.

"I'm sorry that you had to hear it from her."

I kept my head turned away from him, looking out the window, holding myself together.

"I'll tell you the same thing that I told Dean. I didn't want to wreck what you guys had. That life with Ben and Lisa- that's what you deserve, that's what I wanted you to have. You got to go to school like a normal kid. You got to be a normal teenager."

"Well maybe I didn't want that. Maybe we would have rather had you."

"Were you happy?"

Still looking out the window, I felt a tear brimming at the corner of my eye. Of course I had been happy this past year. Dean and I had been through a lot and the beginning, learning to live without Sam and Cas and hunting was hard, but we were like a normal family- Dean, Ben, Lisa and I.

Sam reached over and turned me towards him.

"You don't have to be ashamed of being happy," he said, his hand on my shoulder.

I couldn't hold the tears in any longer and I let out a little sob.

"I missed you, though. Even though I've been happy, I never stopped wishing you were there."

"I did what was best for you and Dean."

"Being together would have been for the best. Not spending a year with those people you don't even know."

"They're family, too, Nora. Don't go writing them off because Dean hasn't warmed up to them yet."

We didn't speak for a few moments as Sam let me sort through things in my head. I wasn't mad at him, not really. I was hurt and I missed him, but I wasn't mad. He wasn't being selfish, just stupid.

"You guys are leaving me here, aren't you?" I finally asked.

"Dean would like to, yeah," he answered.

"But I feel fine. I can help."

Sam raised an eyebrow.

"It's just a headache; it'll go away and anyway, djinns need bait. I make great bait."

Sam smirked.

"I'll talk to him, but I'm in the doghouse with him too, so it may not work out. Come in and say hello to Bobby. Maybe he'll have something for that headache."

"Can I stay out here a bit longer? Dean needs more cool off time."

"Afraid not," Sam answered, "Just apologize and get it over with."

I sighed, but scooted out of the car after Sammy. I walked by his side towards Bobby's house, feeling nostalgic. It wasn't the first time that Sam had come to get me out of a car and convinced me to come back inside. Dean was waiting on the front porch swing and I stopped on the top step, knowing that he wanted to talk.

"We'll be right in," he reassured Sam before turning his gaze to me.

I walked over to the swing and sat beside him. Dean didn't say anything and I felt so uncomfortable that I had to stare off towards the end of the driveway, away from Dean.

"Look at me, Nora."

It took a moment before I could gather enough strength to do it, but I turned to face him with a neutral expression on my face.

"You know better than to talk to me, Sam or anyone else like that, don't you?" he asked.

I nodded.

"And when I give a direct order, you know better than to talk back or give attitude?" he continued.

Again, I nodded.

"So, am I right to say that you know the rules, but chose to ignore them?"

I looked away. I hated how guilty he could make me feel. Of course I knew that I was out of line. I knew he was disappointed.

"Nora, I want to hear an answer from you."

"Yes, fine, you're right, but you aren't being fair and Sammy lied to us," I complained.

"You're not going with us. You have a concussion. You have shown no interest in following orders. I'm not bringing you anywhere near that djinn. And you're still grounded, so you can stay here with Bobby, Lisa and Ben."

I opened my mouth to argue.

"And I don't want to hear another word about it, understood?" he said, holding my chin in his hand, making sure that he had direct eye contact.

"Yes, sir."

"I mean it, Nora. I don't need your crap right now, ok?"

"Yes, Dean, ok."

He let his hand fall and squeezed my knee, looking beyond me.

"I don't want to hear you talk like that again," he said quietly, still staring off behind me, "You're better than that."

Dean was really stuck on the swearing thing, which felt hypocritical to me. He and Sammy swore quite a bit, but if the words left my lips I was liable to get slapped for it. I think it stemmed back to him thinking of me as a little girl. Little girls don't use words like that.

"I'm sorry, Dean," I offered, "Sometimes it just slips out and it's not like I learned it from the school bus."

He fixed me with a look, his eyebrow raised and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Well, you better get in there and say hello to Bobby. You are his favorite, after all."

"I will, but can't we just sit here a minute?" I said, moving closer to him on the seat.

Dean raised his arm so I could position myself under it. The sun was just starting to rise.

"You're still grounded."

"I know," I answered, "I love you, Dean."

"I love you too, Nora."


	5. Chapter 5

Late on Sunday morning, I sat in the living room with Ben and Lisa, playing cards while we waited for Dean and Sam to return. I had slept in, knowing that my body needed it after dealing with the djinn and all of the other stuff that was going on. I knew it wouldn't be long before the boys were there to get us and bring Lisa and Ben back home.

"Nora- your turn," Ben said when I wasn't paying attention.

I moved to draw a card and make my move, but heard Bobby call my name from his office.

"Kiddo, phone is for you," he said when I didn't answer right away, coming to the doorway and leaning against the frame to watch us.

I quickly took my turn and jumped up off the floor to meet Bobby.

"I'll check in on you in a few minutes, kid," Bobby said, clapping a hand on my shoulder and heading out of the office, shutting the door behind him.

I figured that didn't bode well for my phone conversation and I took a seat in Bobby's desk chair, pulling my pajama clad legs underneath me and putting the phone to my ear. I waited for Dean to say something, knowing it was him just from the sound of his breathing.

"Kiddo?" Dean's voice said through the receiver.

"How did it go?" I asked immediately.

"It went fine, Nora. We killed them," he answered, flatly.

"Good. That's good. When will you and Sammy-," I started only to be cut off.

"Sammy left to meet up with Samuel and the others."

"So where are we meeting them?" I pressed.

"Nora, I called ahead so you have time to process this because I don't want you throwing a fit when I get there."

"That's reassuring," I offered with a scoff.

"That's enough with the sarcasm. I'm coming to get you and we're going home. You, Ben, Lisa and I are going home. You and Ben have got school tomorrow."

Dean had said it in the most nonchalant tone that I almost didn't question it. Dean was always family first, the three musketeers, we hunted and we did it together.

"Seriously? You're worried about me missing school? What about Sammy?"

"He'll keep in touch."

"No Dean! We're supposed to-," I whined.

"We're not supposed to do anything, Nora," Dean said, his tone a little harsher than he meant it to be.

"Why don't I get any say in this?" I pushed.

"Because you're barely 16 and I'm your guardian."

I scoffed at the term and I hated when he called himself my 'guardian'. Technically, he was right, but it was more complicated than that, it always had been. Sammy and Dean had practically raised me themselves, so they were like parents, but they were also my brothers, my friends. Dean only used the term because he knew it didn't leave me with much room for argument.

"Technically," I answered.

"No technically about it. I am your big brother. I make the rules. I don't care how old you are."

"You can't keep us apart. This is ridiculous," I answered.

"Nora, do not make this harder than it needs to be."

I didn't answer him and I could tell that Dean was a little less than impressed with my response to the situation.

"Well, you've got about two hours to start whistling a new tune, kiddo. I'll see you then."

I slammed the phone down, hanging up without saying goodbye. Bobby's arms found me before I made it to the door and he pulled me in for a hug. Bobby had always been supportive in matters between my brothers and me, well, unless I did something wrong.

"He's just trying to do what's right for you, little girl," he said as I hid my crying face in his flannel shirt, breathing in liquor and motor oil, a smell that I had come to associate with my uncle.

"Dean is doing the best that he can."

"What about Sammy?"

"Sammy's a big boy. He can take care of himself."

"But we're supposed to stick together. We're family."

Bobby pulled me away from him and held my shoulders. I sniffled, wiping at my face with my sleeve.

"I think you should stay here with me for a few days, darlin'. You're only going to give him more trouble if you go home."

"No, I won't," I argued.

"Girl, I know you and right now you're too upset to even consider the fact that you aren't the only one with feelings involved here. You and Dean need a little time out once in a while so you don't drive each other to an early grave."

I scowled, but I knew Bobby was right.

"Well, I'm sure Dean won't let me. I have school," I sulked.

"You ask him when he gets here and if he's got a problem with it, I'll take care of him. A little time with your Uncle Bobby will do you some good. Plus, I've got a case I could use your help with. You up for it?"

I nodded and he gave me a quick smile.

"Alright then, let's get started on dinner, princess."

"Can I talk to Dean alone first?" I asked, hearing his impala turn up the driveway.

Ben and Lisa were plating dinner. She gave me a nod though I knew she was dying to see him.

"Go ahead, darlin', but don't make it too long. I like my dinner hot and I'm sure that there are others here who would like their chance to say hello."

I stood at the end of the driveway as Dean pulled up. He put the car in park. Dean glanced at me before he got out and came to stand in front of me.

"You all ready to go?" he asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I didn't answer him but instead hugged him around the waist feeling Dean's hesitation, probably rooted in surprise, before he hugged me back.

"Bobby thinks I should stay with him for a few days."

Dean pulled me out of the hug and studied my face, his expression soft.

"Will that help things, kiddo?" he asked, placing his hand on the top of my head and smoothing the loose hair around my face back.

"Maybe."

"You'll have to make up the school work," he said sternly, "And you've got finals coming up, so you better find a way to study for them."

"I know," I answered.

"And I want you home by the end of the week, okay? You're not moving in with the old geezer."

I chuckled and Dean ruffled my hair.

"Come on. Bobby said he doesn't want his dinner to get cold," I offered.

"Great, I'm starving," he said, moving me towards the house.

"And don't tell Ben yet, but we're going to be moving to a new house- closer to Bobby's."

I nodded. I liked our house, but I definitely had no qualms about a new school or being closer to Bobby's.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Dean?"

"It's the next best thing to never getting involved in the first place."

I didn't answer him. I didn't want to fight anymore. Though he wasn't allowing any dissent from me in arguments once a decision was made, I could tell that Dean was struggling to decide what was right and wrong.

"A few days with Bobby will do you some good and when you come home, we'll go check out some new places. Another room for you to paint pink," he said, nudging me a bit.

I rolled my eyes, "It's coral, Dean."

"It's pink, princess, very pink."

The next few days were to be devoted entirely to Bobby's latest case. I had instructions to check in with Dean each day, which was basically my only connection to the world outside the case. It was a typically haunting, just a few towns over from the scrap yard. Bobby had known the family for years. Mrs. Katie Gilbert's father had been a hunter and a friend of Bobby's before he died, like most hunters, on the job. By Monday afternoon, we were already at the Gilbert's home to check on things in person.

"Nora, why don't you go see if Chloe could use another guest at her tea party while I catch up with Katie and Rich, here."

Bobby glanced at me when I didn't move or respond right away. Chloe was the daughter of the young couple who had contacted Bobby. I knew Bobby wasn't trying to just get me out of the action, like Dean or Sam might have done. He wanted me to check out the house and this was a good chance.

"I don't think she seems like the type for tea parties, Uncle Bobby," I answered honestly and the girl's parents both smiled.

"She's not very big on dolls, but she likes to draw. Don't be alarmed if she doesn't talk much- just a phase she's going through," her mother offered.

I walked up the stairs and to the doorway to Chloe's bedroom. Yeah, sure, a phase. I wondered if her parents even noticed that Chloe wasn't sleeping well at night. The kid was being haunted, no wonder she didn't want to talk to anyone.

"Chloe? I'm Nora. Can I color with you?"

She looked up at me with big blue eyes and nodded. Chloe had been drawing like her mother had suggested and for a seven-year-old, she was pretty good.

"You're good at drawing, Chloe."

"My big brother taught me," she answered in a monotone.

I nodded with a smile.

"Big brothers are good teachers," I answered, trying to remember what Bobby said about a brother. I figured that he must have been older, away at college or something.

Chloe and I were quiet for what felt like longer than fifteen minutes, though Chloe kept turning to look at the corner of her bedroom, by her closet.

"Do you have any brothers?" she asked.

"I do. Two- Sam and Dean. They're both older than me," I answered, drawing them with me on the paper and showing her. She nodded and we went back to coloring in silence, which was mostly comfortable until Chloe whispered to the corner of the room.

"Is everything ok?" I asked.

"Yeah, my friend thinks you are pretty."

"Your friend?" I asked.

"Yeah, his name is LJ."

"Well, you can tell LJ that I appreciate the compliment," I answered, trying not to laugh.

"He heard you," was Chloe's only response as she went on drawing pictures.

At that, I excused myself to go get a glass of water. Chloe wasn't creepy. She was quiet. She was subtle. She drew pictures of things most seven year olds drew- sunshine, people, and animals. The only thing different was that she was actually pretty good. She didn't like girly-girl stuff, but that was normal at her age too. There was just something off and it wasn't just that she had an imaginary friend.

Bobby, Katie and Rich were still sitting at the kitchen table talking when I came downstairs.

"What would you think about earning some extra money while you're in town, darlin'?" Bobby asked as I made it to the kitchen.

"Uh, sure," I answered.

"Just be with Chloe for a half day tomorrow – the school has teacher development conferences. It would be doing us a huge favor so neither of us would have to take off work," Katie said.

"Sure, not a problem as long as Uncle Bobby is ok with it."

Bobby and I said our goodbyes and moved to the truck. I made sure to keep my mouth shut until we were alone inside the cab.

"Chloe has an imaginary friend," I offered.

"A dead one?" he asked.

"I don't know. Aren't all of them dead?"

"I don't know. You seemed to have a lot of non-dead ones. You were a creative little booger."

"Hey!" I complained.

"Scared the crap out of the boys and your daddy, considering."

I didn't answer, but directed my attention out the window.

My Dad and the boys would have been protective of me regardless, but the series of events which occurred following the fire in my nursery when I was 6 months old and then almost 10 years later, on what should have been my tenth birthday, made them a bit more protective than the usual family. I had been told the story over and over again, but even with my background in the supernatural, I had to question it.

On the night I turned six months, there was a nursery fire resulting in the death of my mother. I was assumed to be dead as well until a six month old baby, looking eerily similar to Eleanora Campbell Winchester showed up at the Starlight Motel in Van Buren, Missouri where Dad was working a case. Of course it took some convincing for John Winchester to accept that I was his child. He had brought me straight to Bobby's and they got to work testing me, but there was no reason to think it wasn't me, other than the fact that I had been missing for ten years and had not aged a day. I still had the same birthmark, a pink strawberry shape on my right hip and the bruise on my forehead that I had sustained while crawling too close to a scuffle between a 6 year old Dean and a 2 year old Sam back in 1985. As I grew up, I looked more and more like my mom, which made it easier for my father to accept. Still, like Sam, I always felt that I was just waiting for something to happen to me.

"I think it's a ghost, Bobby. She's not sleeping well and she's talking to it," I answered.

"Well, do some digging around tomorrow, kiddo. We'll figure out who's haunting that little girl and get it taken care of early so you and I can have some fun. Go bowling, movies, hiking, a little driving practice and make some mac and cheese. Sound good?"

I smiled and nodded. For a grumpy, old man, Bobby sure knew how to take care of me.

The next day, Bobby took me to Chloe's school to pick her up and dropped us off at the Gilbert house. Chloe took the key from my hands and ran from the truck and up to the door, unlocking it and popping inside.

"You call me first sign of anything weird- hell, just call to check in every hour, understood?"

"Bobby, I know. This isn't my first rodeo."

He raised an eyebrow at me.

"I'll call, promise."

When I made it inside, Chloe already had a cookbook out on the table.

"Can we make cookies? We didn't have snack time today at school," she said.

"Sure, Chloe. What kind are your favorite?"

"Well, LJ likes oatmeal chocolate chip."

"Oatmeal chocolate chip it is then," I answered, pulling out the ingredients.

We made cookies and talked about school, fairly uneventful, all of which I reported back to Bobby. He instructed me to do some canvasing, which was easier said than done with Chloe around. Yet, not long after cookie time ended, she went up to her room to draw and I started to look around.

It wasn't until I came across a picture of Chloe's first birthday that it clicked in my mind. Chloe's father held her with an arm as she leaned towards the cake. Katie put her arm around a teenage boy, a teenage boy that wasn't in anymore family pictures after that. I ran as quickly as I could up the stairs to Chloe's room, grabbing the iron poker from the fireplace as I went. I stopped outside of her bedroom to gather myself. I could feel that things were about to get a little complicated. I texted Bobby- Luke Gilbert BURN and took one last deep breath, leaning the poker against the wall in the hallway outside of her door as not to alarm Chloe or LJ.

"Hey Chloe, where's LJ?"

"Right here," she said patting the floor beside her.

 _Awesome_ , I thought to myself, frowning.

"Well, why don't you tell me about him?" I asked.

"He's old, like you."

"I'm not old. I'm sixteen."

"Well, that's older than me," she responded with a shrug.

"I can't argue with you there."

As I had seen multiple times before, Chloe turned away from me, whispering and giggling.

"Care to let me know what you two are talking about?"

She shook her head.

"LJ says no."

"Well, what do you normally talk about?"

"Mommy and Daddy, sometimes," she answered casually, "They hurt LJ."

Within milliseconds of her speaking, Chloe had been stood up and backed up into the closet, the door closing behind her. She wasn't screaming, just banging on the door and I assumed that our ghostly friend was responsible for her silence; she had told me too much. The look in her eyes as she was flung backwards was pure fear and I regretted not going out for ice cream to discuss things in private.

"Chloe it's going to be ok," I insisted, immediately moving myself towards the hallway until the door slammed in my face.

Turning around, I saw LJ's form moving towards me, the same blonde haired, blue-eyed teen from Chloe's first birthday party.

"You don't need to hurt her," I said, not knowing whether or not he would be receptive to reason.

He paused for a moment and rage flashed over his face.

"I would never hurt her!" he shouted as I was shoved hard into the wall, "You on the other hand, are just a nosy bitch."

With a flick of his wrist, Chloe's dresser flew across the room and into me, easily knocking the breath from my lungs.

"You just had to pry, didn't you?" he asked, going invisible.

"You're hurting her, Luke. She's just a little girl! You need to let her go, move on," I shouted, trying to push the dresser away, but it was no use, it was too heavy even without his powers holding it against me.

All of the sudden, my cheek started stinging, like I had been slapped.

"You don't want to hurt me, Luke. Why are you here? It's been six years," I said barely over a whisper.

My brothers could take a supernatural beating like the best of them. I had seen it happen several times, but I wasn't as strong as them. I didn't think I would ever be able to take it as well as they did. I had always been a careful child, never broke any bones- just the usual scrapes and bruises that kids got. Once I started hunting that went out the window a bit. The last few years had been a string of concussions, bruised ribs, stitches and general body aches when I was allowed in a fight so I was getting used to it, but if I could get out of it by talking, that was always my first move, especially when that was the only weapon that I had.

I felt a shiver run through my body as Luke's spirit possessed my body, but before my mind even had time to register it, he was showing me something, a memory.

I woke up in a twin sized bed in a navy blue bedroom. Walking down the hallway, I looked in on a nursery where a baby was sleeping. As I stood, standing above the crib, I heard the door creak open further behind me. Turning, I saw the first glimpse of a younger Katie and Rich, for a brief second, their eyes shone bright in the mirror. Then, as I turned towards them fully, they walked forward.

"You guys are home early," the voice said from inside me, though it was Luke's voice, not mine.

Katie handed me a gun with a smile while Rich pushed it to my mouth. I tried to fight, but he was stronger and he pushed down my finger on the trigger.

I came to in Chloe's room, leaning my head on the dresser, the iron poker in my hand. I was aware of Bobby's voice in the room, but his words weren't clear or complete, but I could hear the shot, which I assumed was rock salt and then Bobby was at my side, lightly tapping my face until I was alert enough to make eye contact.

"He was cremated," Bobby said, before turning to fire off another shot at the ghostly form that reappeared in the room.

"The drawing set," I answered, "She said it was her brothers."

Bobby moved towards the drawing kit on the floor and I saw Luke move towards him, pushing him against the wall and holding him up by the throat. From somewhere, I felt a surge of energy and I pushed the dresser away from me, taking the iron in my hand, slashing at the ghost's form. I don't know where the energy came from, but I continued, handing the iron to Bobby and grabbing the kit, throwing it in Chloe's garbage can and lighting the thing on fire. I felt a hand wrap around my throat, but just as soon as I felt it, the sensation was gone. I turned to the closet and ran, flinging the door open and pulling a crying Chloe into my arms.

"What happened?"

"What do you remember?"

"LJ locked me in the closet and it was dark and you guys made a lot of noise."

In the simplest way I could, I explained what happened to Chloe, including that I sent her brother away, to heaven. I helped Bobby to clean up Chloe's room. There wasn't much permanent damage aside from two bullet holes in the wall. Bobby called Katie and Rich home early to explain that there son was haunting them because he thought that his parents had killed him when in fact, it was a pair of shape shifters while Chloe and I sat two rooms over on the couch, watching the Lion King. Five minutes in, I fell asleep only to wake up at Bobby's in my room.

Standing up hurt, so I did it slowly and made my way down the stairs. Bobby was at his desk, reading one of his books and he looked up at me as I came into the room.

"How you feeling, little girl?" he asked.

"Hey, I think I deserve to be called a big girl after that hunt."

Bobby chuckled, pushing his reading glasses down on his nose to get a better look at me. I knew I looked rough. I had been recovering from a concussion and now I was recovering from that, a badly beaten body and a ghost possession.

"Alright, then, big girl, how are you feeling?"

"Like crap," I answered.

"Well, don't go tellin' your brother that, but here. He's been waiting for you to wake up."

Bobby handed me the phone after dialing Dean's number. I pulled the phone to my ear and took a seat by the window.

"Bobby? What's the update?" Dean asked quickly.

"De, it's me," I said quietly.

"You're up. Good, Nor. It's good to hear your voice. How are you feeling?"

I looked at Bobby and smiled.

"I'm ok, Dean. Uncle Bobby is taking care of me."

"I know he is, kiddo. But that didn't sound like an easy hunt like he promised."

"It is if you're big bad hunters like me and Uncle Bobby."

Bobby laughed and said "Goodnight, boy" loud enough for Dean to hear and headed out of the room, closing the door partially behind him.

"So now that he's gone, tell me how you really are," Dean insisted.

I sighed.

"I can be up there in a few hours if I need to come see for myself."

"Dean, I'm ok, I swear. Just feel like I got hit by a bus and I'm exhausted."

"That's the possession," he answered, "You're going to have to take it easy for a few days."

"I know, I will, just don't come get me yet. Bobby and I have plans."

"Like what?"

"Another hunt," I answered.

"I don't think so!" Dean answered.

"I'm just kidding. Calm down. Just stuff- bowling, movies, stuff Bobby and I have always done."

I could hear Dean relax on the other end of the phone.

"Ok kiddo, but how about I come get you Thursday night? It's looking like I won't be working Friday, so we can spend Friday morning with Bobby and make it home by dinner."

"What do you miss me or something?" I asked sarcastically.

"You have no idea, little girl."

I had to smile at that.

"You get better, kiddo. I don't want you doing anything other than watching movies on the couch and napping tomorrow, ok?"

"Got it, captain. Do you want to talk to Bobby?"

"No, I just needed to hear for myself that you're ok. Goodnight, kiddo."

"Goodnight, Dean."

I hung up the phone and went to find Bobby and tell him goodnight before heading back to bed. When I woke up again, it was late morning. I made my way downstairs, but was directed to the couch. Bobby popped in a movie and came to sit with me, pulling my feet onto his lap, which aside from when he got up to make me some food, was how we spent the day.

By the time Dean arrived on Thursday night, I was feeling better. I still was pretty badly bruised and had some achiness, but it was nothing compared to how I felt Monday and Tuesday. Though I was under strict direction to take it easy, Bobby and I still managed to go bowling and practice driving, so I was content. Dean pulled me in his arms as soon as he found me in the kitchen finishing up our dinner of mac and cheese. He kissed my hair and placed his chin on top of my head, holding me tightly to his chest. I knew this hunt had worried him. Hunting with Bobby had never resulted in me getting hurt like this before, not that this was even that bad. I'd been through much worse with the boys. It just bothered Dean to be so far away, so helpless when I was hurt. I tried to pull away, but Dean held me a little tighter so I let him. When Bobby entered the room, Dean let me go, moving on to give him a hug as though his little chick flick moment had never happened.


	6. Chapter 6

The first few days back at the Braeden-Winchester home were fairly normal. By the time that I was back at school, my bruises had mostly faded. I was still more tired than usual, but I attributed that to the extra work I had to do in order to catch up and study for finals. Dean and Lisa were focused on finding us a new home, an endeavor which Ben and I half-heartedly participated in. We had other things on our mind, mainly finals and being angsty about the lockdown that Dean was trying to subtly implement on us.

"Remind me, Dean. Why do Ben and I need a chaperone again?" I asked, sliding into the pickup truck beside Ben. I usually met Ben at the middle school down the road and we walked home together, stopping somewhere along the way for a snack or just to decompress a bit before going home. Dean was glaring at me by the time I finally settled in and glanced in his direction.

"We can handle walking less than a mile by ourselves, right Benny Boy?" I asked, nudging him in the arm.

Ben shrugged and I knew he just didn't want Dean mad at him so he pled the fifth.

"That's enough, Nora. How did the last day go?" Dean asked, his tone becoming lighter.

"Fine," Ben and I answered in unison.

"All A pluses?" Dean prompted.

"Yeah, something like that," I answered with a laugh.

Really, things had changed so much in the last year. Dean could never be bothered with school stuff. It was never relevant to him. Sure, Dad had made sure I had some form of education from time to time. If we were in a place for long enough or if I was shipped off to Bobby's, he made sure that I got enrolled at the local public school. It was Dean's job to make sure I got up, had breakfast and was there on time. Dean picked me up in the afternoons and made sure I started my homework when I got home, but that was usually where his concern stopped. When Sammy was with us, he homeschooled me, which took Dean off the hook entirely. I remembered overhearing them argue about it on more than one occasion because Dean just didn't care, which according to Sam, was why I would give him attitude about completing my assignments.

"Ice cream?" Dean asked, not taking his eyes from the road, but pulling me out of my thoughts.

Ben nodded when I looked at him, still staying quiet.

"Ice cream sounds good, De," I answered for the both of us.

Dean turned to us and gave a quick smile.

"Alright, I've got about 45 minutes before I have to get back to the site."

I settled into the seat with a smile on my face. Ice cream was his way of apologizing for this craziness, whether he was conscious of making the apology or not. Dean had been taking his lunch break late since the djinn attacked, using the time to pick us up from school and make sure that we were all settled in the house, with instructions to stay inside, with no guests, until he got home. Instructions which we mostly followed, aside from occasional bike rides and walks in the neighborhood. Those things were mine and Ben's secrets.

"So, how did those tests really go?" Dean asked.

We had settled at one of the Dairy Bar's less sticky picnic tables. Dean sitting across from Ben and I. Dean was slurping a strawberry milkshake and while the question was for both Ben and I, Dean had directed it more at me. I focused on keeping the ice cream cone under control as it started to melt in my hand.

"They went great," Ben answered, "the English one was actually really easy."

I watched Dean give an approving nod towards Ben with a smile and his eyes landed on mine.

"Nora?"

"Dean."

I smirked and Dean raised an eyebrow.

"They were easy peasy, Deano," I replied going back to my ice cream, "Relax."

"That's my girl. Don't call me Deano"

Dean smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back at him. It felt nice to be on my brother's good side, to not be constantly in trouble with him. I listened while Dean and Ben talked about some repairs that they were going to make to the truck, a topic I was far from interested in.

"What's the update on hunting?" I asked when conversation had become quiet.

Dean looked confused, but regained his composure within a few seconds.

"House hunting?" He clarified.

I nodded as Ben excused himself to go wash his hands. To say he was uninterested in the idea of moving was an understatement. Ben was happy here. He had friends, he was in clubs and sports. From the perspective of Ben Braeden, we were good right where we were.

"Ben's not happy."

"Well, Ben is safe and I'll take safe over happy any day."

I sighed. Ben had probably just said goodbye to his friends for the last time. I had always made an effort to not too close to anyone, especially when we never stayed very long, but Ben had been at this school for years.

"So, the house hunt?" I prompted again.

"Lisa sent me a promising listing today. The four of us can go check it out tomorrow."

"Sounds good," I answered, continuing to lick at the mess of an ice cream cone in my hands.

Dean nodded and looked at his watch, standing up and signaling that it was time to go. Once home Ben and I headed up the front steps, but Dean called me back to the truck.

"I don't want you two leaving the house until I get home, Nora."

"We won't," I answered nonchalantly, "We know the rules, warden."

Dean fixed me with a look.

"I need to be able to trust you."

"Why do you think you can't?"

"Because I know you two haven't been sitting home every afternoon like I've asked."

"How?"

"Because I know you."

"And?"

"And because cellphones are easy to track these days."

"Are you serious, Dean? That's called stalking-," I started.

"That's called me protecting you because you don't follow the rules."

"No, you don't get to use that excuse."

"It's not an excuse. I don't need to explain myself to you. It's not my only resource, so stay in the damn house and just do as you're told, ok? I don't want to make this into something if it doesn't need to be. You've been in enough trouble lately."

I focused on lightly kicking away dirt on the tire on his pickup.

"Nora, I won't ask twice."

I looked up at him and I could see he was tired. As much as I wasn't sleeping that great because Dean was all worked up, things were worse for him.

"Ok, we'll stay in the house, be your good little prisoners."

Dean frowned at me.

"Don't be a brat about it."

"Well, you're the one keeping us on lockdown. It's unnecessary. We're safe. You and Sam already-,"

"Enough! Nora, I've heard enough. We'll talk when I get home, ok?"

"No, we won't. Just leave me alone, Dean."

I ran towards the front door, slamming and locking it behind me. I was thankful that Dean didn't follow me, but instead pulled out of the driveway and headed back to work. Pulling out my phone, I dialed Sam's number. On the third ring, he picked up.

"What's going on, Nora?"

"Dean's a psychopath."

Sam sighed and I could hear him shuffling through papers.

"Are you busy?"

"Just researching."

"I wish I was with you."

"Well, I could really use your research skills right now," he answered.

"You don't need me. You taught me everything I know."

Sam chuckled.

"You didn't call to compliment me, Nora."

"Right. Dean is a psycho."

"Why?"

"He has us on lockdown. He's tracking my phone to make sure I don't leave the house when he's not home."

"Are you supposed to be leaving the house?"

"No, but that's beside the point. It's just his stupid rule because he's paranoid."

"Nora, he's just trying to protect you. That's just Dean being Dean. You know that."

"You're not supposed to take his side, Sammy."

"Well you're not supposed to disobey direct orders, so I guess we're all squared away, aren't we?"

I huffed.

"Go easy on Dean. You've both been through a lot and you're moving soon, right? That should calm him down a bit."

I didn't answer him. I had called Sam a couple of times since the djinn incident and he always seemed unwilling to commiserate with me. He was all about smoothing things over quickly and moving on. He never took my side. It was always the same argument- him and Dean were older, but Dean's in charge, so I should just do as he says. I couldn't tell if he really agreed with Dean or if he had decided that my issues just weren't worth the fight. Either way, I was getting used to hearing it.

"What's the hunt about?" I asked.

"Don't change the subject, Nora, but hey, I gotta get going. You enjoy that new place and you listen to Dean, ok?"

"Yeah, ok, Sammy."

I heard the click and put my phone away. I was hopeful that Sam was right, that the new house would bring us freedom. It was the last step to ensuring we were safe from the djinn or whatever else Dean thought was after us. The house search had started during my first weekend back from Bobby's and ended on the day after school ended, when Lisa and Dean settled on a nice 3 bedroom in a small community closer to Bobby's. It was a nice house, seemed like a decent neighborhood. None of us were exactly thrilled about it, each for different reasons, but we were content with the house at least. I was hopeful that the move would bring some level of normalcy back to our lives, but on our first day in the new place that hope was already dwindling.

I had stopped by the front door to pull on my running shoes.

"Hey, wait, I'll go with you," Dean said, putting his coffee mug in the sink and leaving the room, heading towards the stairs. Dean didn't like running, which was my first clue that he was still messed up about this whole djinn thing.

"I want to go on my own, Dean," I grumbled, pulling my shoes on and standing to look at him when he turned around and stopped in the hallway.

"Well, that's not going to happen. You don't know the neighborhood, ok? Wait for me."

He disappeared up the stairs and I made a face at Lisa.

"He's driving me crazy," I said.

I knew she was feeling the same, but she would never say it.

"He's just trying to protect us."

"I know," I answered, "I just wish he could at least pretend that I have at least a little independence."

The end of my sentence came out as more of a mumble once I heard Dean coming down the last few steps. The expression on his face as he looked between Lisa and I made it clear that he heard at least some of what I had said, but he moved past it quickly.

"Let's head out," he said, opening the door for me and letting me walk through first as I put in my headphones and Dean did the same, the two of us running side by side in silence.

Later that afternoon, all four of us were in the kitchen area. Ben had resolved to sulk at the dining room table as I helped Lisa unpack the boxes that Dean was bringing in from the garage.

"At least look around before you decide you don't like it," Lisa said while kissing Ben on the head.

"Yeah, alright," Ben grumbled, standing up to grab his bike, which I knew wasn't going to go over very well.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" Dean asked, setting down the box he was holding and turning to face Ben.

"To check out the neighborhood."

"Hey, Ben, Wait up. I'll go too," I said.

Dean eyed the two of us as I walked over to stand next to Ben. I mustered the best pout I could although I knew that it was losing its effectiveness. After all the years of Sam and me using it on Dean, I think he was just starting to ignore it.

"Please, Dean. We'll just check things out quick and come back home. Fifteen minutes."

"No, guys, I'm sorry. We've got too much unpacking to do."

Dean looked at me and thumbed towards the box I had been unpacking on the floor and then turned to look at Ben.

"Come on, man. You don't want your mom doing all of the work around here, do you?"

Ben shook his head back and forth and Dean clapped a hand on his shoulder, pulling him to the garage to help with the boxes. I left to find my phone and headphones, putting them in and tuning out any further conversations from the family.

It was a few hours later, after Dean ordered takeout although he had promised we would go out for lunch, when we finally finished putting the kitchen together and Ben and I had both been sent upstairs to work on our rooms. Over the sound of my music I heard Ben slam his door so I got up and walked down the hallway knocking lightly on his door.

"Go away," he answered.

"It's Nora," I replied, hoping it would change things.

I pushed his door ajar and didn't hear a protest, so I squeezed through, pushing the door shut behind me. Boxes were piled up along the sides of the room, his bed was made, but that was about it.

"Dean yelled at me," he offered quietly.

"He yells at me pretty much every day. I wouldn't take it personally," I offered to lighten the mood.

I sat down beside him, "What was he angry about?"

Ben hesitated. Dean didn't yell at Ben. Sure, a few times Ben and I had been snapped at together when we were arguing or doing something stupid, but it was almost always directed more at me than him. Generally speaking, Ben was just better-behaved than I was and Dean had different expectations me because as he would often say, I 'knew better'. I felt sympathy for the kid though. I knew firsthand how Dean snapping at you could do a number on your feelings.

"You know those guns he keeps in the car," he started.

"Ben, that's all it was about? That's nothing. Dean's just trying to keep us safe, ok? I'm sure he didn't mean to yell. He just…he doesn't let anyone touch those guns. Don't sweat it."

I put my hand on Ben's shoulder, but he kept staring out the window. He didn't seem content with my answers and I figured he just needed to be alone, so I left the room and headed down to the garage where Dean was looking at the guns, examining each of them.

"What did you have to yell at him for?" I asked, my hands involuntarily sliding to sit defiantly on my hips. Dean put the guns back in the trunk and slammed the hood. He took one look at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Would you prefer I yell at you? Because you look like you're just begging for a fight."

"I'd prefer that you didn't yell at either of us. Ben didn't deserve that."

Dean glared at me.

"Why don't you leave that for the adults to decide?"

"Dean," I answered.

"Is your room unpacked?"

"Not yet."

"I want it done by dinner time,"

I scoffed, knowing that was a ridiculous request designed to get me off his back for the next few hours.

"Dean, what's going on?"

"Nora, go unpack your room. That's the last time I'll say it nicely."

"No, you're being-"

"I'm being what? I'm protecting us. Protecting you and Lis and Ben."

"You're being crazy."

"Well the crazy man is telling you to go unpack your room before you get yourself in more trouble than you'd like."

I didn't feel like being grounded so I did as I was told, not coming out of my room until I heard Lisa call Ben and I down for dinner. I came out of my room at the same time as Ben and waited for him to catch up before I started walking.

"You got yelled at too?" he asked.

I shrugged, "Like I said, daily occurrence. How do you know?"

"Window was open. Thanks for sticking up for me."

I smiled and hugged him with an arm.

"That's what I'm here for, Benny Boy."

After dinner, I settled on the couch to read while Ben played some handheld video game, our bodies a bit achy from carrying boxes and furniture. Dinner had thankfully loosened things up enough that Ben and I didn't resort to locking ourselves back in our rooms. I heard Dean's cellphone ring in the kitchen. He got up off the couch, answered it, uttered Sam's name and shut himself in the den. I got up to follow him, pushing the door open and taking a seat across the desk from him. Dean stared at me as I did so, but didn't reprimand me so I considered that to be the same as permission to stay. They were clearly discussing a hunt and it sounded like Sam needed help.

"I don't know about that, Sam," he said, "I mean, if you really need me, I'll come, but she-,"

"If you're going, I'm going," I insisted before he had the chance to finish his sentence. Dean studied me as I sat in the chair on the other side of his desk, not ready to give me confirmation either way. He was listening to whatever Sam was saying.

"If she gets hurt, it's on you," Dean answered, "We'll see you soon."

"If I get hurt, you'll just patch me up," I answered when he hung up the phone.

"Go pack a bag and get some sleep. We leave first thing in the morning," he answered, running his hand across his face, "And you'd better do what you're told on this hunt."

"When do I ever not do as I'm told?" I answered getting up to leave.

Dean let out a loud laugh, but that was his only response. 

* * *

AN: So fluffy...To apologize, the next chapter will be posted tonight as well!


	7. Chapter 7

When we arrived at the meeting place, Sam was already standing outside of his car waiting for us. I waited for Dean to throw it in park before jumping out to hug Sam.

"Hey, kiddo," he said ruffling my hair and hugging me to his side.

"Where is it?" Dean asked as he came to stand with us.

"Backseat," Sam answered.

I pulled out of Sam's grasp to look in the backseat with Dean. The baby in the carseat was cooing contentedly and I saw the hint of a smile flash across Dean's face. No matter what he said, he loved kids. He was a natural.

"He is adorable," I said, turning back to Sam.

"Yeah, we'll see how adorable you think he is when you're changing the diapers," Dean answered.

I punched his arm.

"What do you think I let you come for?" he answered, which brought a chuckle from both him and Sam.

"Hilarious," I answered, sliding in the backseat beside the baby carrier and slamming the door.

Both boys got in too.

"Careful, Hulk, you might be able to break a door on this POS," Dean said, earning a glare from Sam.

We drove for about an hour, talking about what Sam knew regarding the case so far. The baby was fairly calm and slept for most of the ride.

"We're going to need some supplies," Dean said.

"Oh, we've got an arsenal in the trunk," Sam answered.

"Not what I mean," Dean answered, looking back at the baby.

Sam pulled off at the next grocery store and I worked on getting the baby out of the car seat. Once inside, Dean started pulling things off the shelf, which rendered Sam a little speechless.

"Lisa's got a baby niece. Uncle Dean has made quite a few diaper runs," I offered.

"Yeah, you pick up a few things along the way," Dean added.

"Guys, he's gonna start screaming," I said, looking at the kid.

The baby was starting to scrunch up his face and I knew he was a minute or less away from crying. Dean threw a few more things in the cart and we sped towards the front of the store. Dean made feeble attempts to calm it as Sam and I piled everything onto the conveyor belt as Dean scooped the baby out of the seat.

"Dean, make it stop," Sam said through gritted teeth.

"You can't just make it stop. He doesn't have an on/off switch, idjit," I said with my best imitation of Uncle Bobby, jabbing Sam in his side.

He smacked the back of my head and I lifted my arms to shield myself from further assault.

"Everyone is staring at us like we're child abusers, feed it or something," Sam answered.

"Well maybe people are staring at you like you're a child abuser because you just smacked me upside the head."

"Not helping," Dean answered unamused.

The baby screamed louder as Dean continued to try comforting him.

"Aw... what's the matter? What's his name?" An older woman asked, gesturing to the baby.

Dean and Sam simultaneously responded with "Bobby" and "John," respectively, leaving the woman with a confused look on her face.

"It's Bobby John. Named after his grandfathers," I answered, giving both boys a look.

"Hi, Bobby John. Aren't you handsome? May, I?" she asked, taking Bobby John into her arms before receiving an answer.

"Bobby John's a little wet. No offense, you two look exhausted. Raising a teenager and a baby? You poor boys. I don't mind taking care of the little man. Lord knows I've changed a million diapers."

In the security camera, I noticed her eyes flared and nudged Dean.

"Oh, that's ok. I'll take care of it," I said, moving forward to take Bobby John.  
"Yeah, that's a really nice offer, thank you, but um... I think we've got it," Dean said.  
"Oh, it's nothing, very happy to help," the shifter insisted.

I still had my hands on the baby, but she wasn't giving him up. Dean leaned forward

"Give me the baby before I stab you in your neck."

"Dean!" Sam yelled.

Dean pointed at the security camera behind us and Sam finally put the dots together. The shapeshifter broke out in a run. Dean had grabbed at her, but came away with a hunk of skin. I caught up and grabbed onto her shirt, earning a shove which sent me hard into the ground. I sat up, holding my head. Sam had gotten his hands onto Bobby John and Dean pulled me up, directing me out to the car before he tackled the shifter to the ground. I got up and ran as fast as I could to catch up with Sam.

"Get in," he said as he set Bobby John in his car seat.

I hopped in the front, knowing that Dean was going to need to just slide in quickly.

"Go! Go! Go!" Dean said as he slammed the door shut and Sam peeled out of the parking lot.

The boys continued to talk as we pulled off the main road, finding a small motel to settle down at.

"What are you so quiet for?" Sam asked, nudging my arm.

"Shifter shoved her to the ground," Dean answered, "How's the head?"

"It's fine," I answered.

"Sure it is," Dean answered, "No napping, Aurora."

"Clever," I scoffed.

Once in the hotel, Sam went back to researching as Dean got Bobby John down for a nap. Dean had insisted I lay down for a bit. I was about to leave the bathroom and do just that when I heard Sam tell Dean that he was father material. I stopped and waited to hear Dean's response.

"I've kind of needed to be that lately, Sam," Dean answered.

"You talking about Ben?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, Ben and Nora. I mean, I know he's not my kid, but I don't know, I'm starting to feel like yeah, he is. And I know Nora's our sister, but we practically raised her and here's the chance to do something right by both of them."

"Yeah, you sure about that Dean?"

"What does that mean?"

"I know you care about Ben and Nora," Sam started.

"But?" Dean prompted.

I could feel myself getting angrier with Sam the longer that I let it go on. Sure, Dean wasn't perfect and he could drive me crazy, but he was certainly getting an A for effort in the parenting department.

"But moving them around? Keeping them on lockdown? How is any of that different from Dad?"

"It's just temporary."

"Dad always said it was temporary, Dean. He said it for 22 years. Look, I get it. You want to protect them. That's great. But there's no way for you to do that and do things differently at the same time?"

Dean was quiet and I opened the bathroom door, walking out.

"You shouldn't give opinions on things you know nothing about, Sam," I said as I sat down on the edge of the bed.

"And you shouldn't be eavesdropping," Dean answered.

I gaped at him. I was defending him and he was going to chide me for eavesdropping. I moved back on the bed so I was sitting up against the head board, putting in headphones. I heard Dean say "Crap" and I took the headphones out.

"You go," Dean affirmed.

"You sure?" Sam asked.

"Go where?" I asked.

"To talk to Bobby John's dad."

"Just leave Bobby John with me. You can both go or I can go with Sam."

"Not until we know you don't have another freaking concussion."

"I don't have a concussion. I'm fine," I answered, standing up and grabbing my jacket.

"Sit," Dean insisted.

I looked to Sam, my one chance at someone agreeing with me.

"He's right; sit."

I took my seat on the bed, putting my headphones in immediately so Dean knew I wasn't interested in talking to him once Sam left. Dean had laid down on the other bed, but I kept my gaze on my phone as he got settled. I heard the vibration of the bed next to me.

"Seriously, gross," I yelled at him throwing the extra pillow at him.

Dean looked at me and smirked before laying his head back down and relaxing. I heard a loud pop over the sound of my music and pulled my headphones out. Dean had already sat up and he was looking at me.

"What the hell was that?" I asked.

All of the sudden, Bobby John started crying and my gaze followed above his crib where skin and blood covered the wall. Dean and I both stood up to walk closer but Dean stopped when his phone rang.

"Yeah, I think you're right, Sam. We've got a baby shifter here," he said into the phone when I picked up a screaming Bobby John, holding him away from my body as he was covered in the same stuff that was all over the walls.

Dean held up the box of diapers, which had the picture of a child that looked identical to Bobby John's new appearance. He continued to talk with Sam as I went to clean the blood and skin off of the baby. Bobby John cried throughout the process and I couldn't blame the kid. He had just practically blown himself up. I finished getting him dressed as there was a knock on the door.

"Hey, it's the manager. Everything ok in there?"

I froze, knowing that this couldn't be good. It was never the manager. Dean motioned to the bathroom and I wrapped Bobby John in a blanket before going to sit in the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

"Yeah, we're fine. Have a good night," Dean answered.

"I've had quite a few complaints. Can you open the door?"

"Sorry. Not a good time."

I heard Dean talking with the person, but their voices were not as loud now that they weren't yelling through a door. I was focused on keeping Bobby John quiet. There was a lot of bashing around, which I figured meant Dean was fighting and then there was a gunshot followed by Sam's voice.

"Kiddo, it's clear," Dean said, letting a light knock fall on the bathroom door.

I came out with Bobby John in my arms and Dean came over to us right away.

"You two okay?"

I nodded.

"You're the one that got banged around by the sounds of it," I answered.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's get outta here. Pack it up."

By sunset, we were just reaching Samuel's. I said brief hellos to Christian, Mark and Gwen while Sam left Dean and me to go talk with Samuel. They approached us and I noticed that Dean had tightened his grip on Bobby John.

"Dean let me see the little guy," Samuel said, his tone calm and light.

"No, that's alright, we've got him."

Samuel then turned to me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"It's real good to see you again, sweetheart."

I nodded.

"Dean, it's alright. You can trust him," Sam said while taking the baby into his arms.

Sam handed Bobby John directly to Samuel.

"What do you think this is here?" Christian said.

"A bunch of hunters," Dean answered.

"And you think we'd hurt him?" Gwen

"We don't know you. It's as simple as that," I answered.

Sam turned and glared at me.

"We're all family here, kid. One big happy family," Christian answered me.

"No, we're not," I mumbled, catching Sam's glower and then averting my gaze.

"Knock it off," Sam said, barely over a whisper.

I looked to Dean and he nodded, showing his agreement with Sam.

"We'll raise him- he can choose his life when he's old enough," Samuel offered as if it was so simple. Nothing was ever that simple.

"Yeah, then for the first 18 years you can torture him? Study him?" Dean prompted.

"Just because your mind goes there doesn't mean everyone's does," Christian said though he didn't bother to look up at us as he did.

"Excuse me?" Dean said.

I could tell where this was going. I could feel my body filling with anger.

"We all know about your major down in the pit. Don't worry though, we'll keep it our little family secret. Just another skeleton in the Campbell family closet."

I glared at Christian.

"What the fuck?" I spat before Dean could even respond, taking a step towards Christian.

"Nora," Sam warned.

"No, what the fuck is wrong with him?"

Sam hand swiftly hit my cheek and I moved closer to Dean for protection, though he didn't seem keen on offering any. It wasn't like Sam hurt me, he just wanted to get my attention before I took things any further. I looked at Sam, hopeful that my eyes which were involuntarily starting to get wet didn't betray me, but it didn't matter. Sam didn't even glance at me. He was looking at Christian.

"Don't talk like that. Not to Christian, not to anyone. Understood?" Sam said.

I glanced at Dean and he raised an eyebrow in anticipation of an answer. Sometimes, I hated when they were on the same team.

"Yeah," I answered.

Sam turned to me with an expectant look.

"I think you were taught to respond with a resounding 'yes sir' at a time like this, weren't you?" he spoke flatly, his eyes dull.

"Yes, sir," I answered, feeling the heat of embarrassment creep into my cheeks.

"Take a seat and be quiet while we figure this out," Sam said, pointing to a chair across the room.

As I walked there, I made eye contact with Christian who smirked. I turned my face from him and made my way to the chair that Sam had directed me to essentially for a time out. For the first time, I realized that something bad happened to Sam during the last year. Something changed him. Sammy had never really been one for physically reprimanding me. The dogs starting howling outside the bunker and I looked up.

"Lock the doors. Here," Samuel said, handing the baby to Dean, "Take your sister and the baby to the panic room. You'll be safe there."

I stood up, ready and waiting before they reached my end of the room to be sure no one felt the need to physically direct me anywhere. I followed Sam to the panic room, where he locked the door from the inside.

"It does not sound good up there," Dean commented.

"Can you get that baby to quiet down?" Sam asked, sounding a bit agitated.

"He's a baby, Sam. He's scared," I answered, angrily, "Maybe the baby just doesn't like being around ass-,"

"You shut your mouth right now and we'll all pretend that word wasn't about to come out of it," Dean said.

"But-," I started.

"I've had enough. The attitude with Sam ends now."

"Fine, sorry," I answered, hands raised with palms forward.

Dean fixed me with his gaze longer than I liked, meaning that he knew the apology wasn't genuine. Then he turned his attention to the whimpering baby in his arms.

"Bobby John you have got to keep quiet," Dean said, bouncing the baby up and down.

"Let me try," I said, coming to him and reaching out for the baby. Dean handed him to me and Bobby John went quiet as I let him play with my hair.

"Alright, you guys stay here. I'm going up," Sam said after an especially loud crash.

Sam didn't get far. As he reached the door, a Sam look alike showed its face in the glass part of the door. I backed up with Bobby John in my arms and Dean just in front of me as the shifter flung the door open, immediately in combat with Sam. It flung Sam out through the doorway and into the wall. Sam didn't move after that.

"Give me the baby," Dean said to me, reaching out for Bobby John.

As I handed the child to Dean, the shifter changed, taking on Dean's form. I felt frozen, remembering the last time that I had been in the presence of a shifter that looked like my brother, temporarily frozen by the thought. Dean had placed himself in front of me, shielding me from the shifter. I snapped out of my thoughts and as if on autopilot, I reached for the silver blade in my boot, stepping forward to slash at the shifter. He stopped my arm with his hand, bending my wrist until I dropped the knife. I thought he was done then, but he bent my wrist just a bit further until I felt a bone snap. With that, he pushed me to the ground, slamming my body into the wall. The shifter turned away from me, reaching out for Dean's neck, pushing him against the wall and sliding him upwards so that Dean could no longer breathe. With a smirk, he pulled Bobby John into his arms. I stood up again to fight for Bobby John and shifter Dean looked at me with a laugh before punching me in the stomach, bringing me to the floor again.

"Now you stay here and be my good little girl, won't you," the shifter said as he stabbed my knife through my hand and into the floor.

The scream that escaped my mouth as the blade sliced through my hands brought my brothers out of consciousness as the shifter left the room. I saw Dean trying to sit up, but by the time he did so, Sam was already at my side.

"I have to pull it out," he said calmly, going to place his hand over mine.

I grabbed his hand with my free one, stopping him.

"The wrist is broken," I said, hoping he wouldn't push down on it if he could avoid it.

Dean slid over to me on the floor, pulling my head into his lap and grabbing my free hand.

"You squeeze tight and don't you dare move while he pulls that knife out, ok kiddo?"

"Ok," I answered meekly, giving Sam a nod to let him know I was ready and squeezing my eyes shut.

"Ok, Nora, ready – one, two."

I screamed when Sam pulled the knife out as he said 'two'.

"What happened to three?" I shouted as he wrapped a piece of cloth around my bleeding hand.

Sam looked at me and laughed.

"Let's get you cleaned up and check out the damage upstairs," Sam said, standing up and walking towards the door.

Dean made to pick me up but I pushed him away, standing up on my own.

"I'm fine. I can walk."

"Keep the pressure on there," he said, motioning to the gushing wound on my hand. I nodded and applied as much pressure as I could without hurting my wrist.

Upstairs, Christian was carrying Mark's lifeless body from the room as Gwen cleaned up the space. Sam walked directly to our grandfather, who looked down at me.

"How is it that you two let her get the worst of it?"

"Because she doesn't know when to stay out of it," Sam answered, "I'll get the kit."

"What the hell was that thing?" Dean asked.

"An alpha, the first shifter."

"That would explain why it was so strong," I answered.

"He said he could feel the baby. That's in the lore too," Samuel added.

"Well, how do we kill it?"

"I don't know if we can."

With that, Sam let us know that he was ready to get me patched up. I hesitated, looking down at my hand and arm. I knew where the knife went through was going to need stitches, probably on both sides and I had a feeling he was going to need to set my wrist bone before splinting it. Stitches weren't foreign to me. Broken bones were. Either way, it had been awhile since I had needed a Winchester medical procedure and I wasn't eager to have one now.

"Kiddo, come on. You have to let Sam get this cleaned out before it gets infected," Dean said, squeezing my shoulder and guiding me towards the desk where Sam had laid out supplies.

"Take a seat and put your hand up here, Nora," Sam said as he made sure everything was in order.

Sam and Dean had both always been good with the medical stuff, but Sam was a little better. More meticulous and efficient, and usually more gentle than Dean. There was no way for this to be gentle and Sam just didn't seem as tender as he used to be so I continued to stand, motionless in the spot Dean had guided me, subconsciously holding my arm close to my chest.

"Come on; this can't wait," Sam said.

"You're going to have to set it aren't you?" I asked.

My arm was throbbing. Sam stopped what he was doing and looked at me.

"Yes. I have to stitch up your hand first though. Let's just get it over with."

Dean could tell that I wasn't eager to cooperate and he slid into the chair, pulling me down onto his lap. He extended my arm out to lay flat on the desk.

"Do I have to hold onto this or will you keep it out of the way?" he asked, motioning to my uninjured hand.

I didn't answer, the tears already pleading to form in my eyes. Sam took pity on me and slipped two pills into my hand, which I downed without water before Dean grabbed my uninjured hand in his, wrapping both of our arms around my torso and far out of Sam's way. With his other hand, he held my inured arm down on the table.

He lifted his chin and I put my head down against his chest.

"No moving," he said.

I nodded into his chest as Sam got to work, cleaning the wound and then stitching it up. I hadn't moved or made a noise until I felt him start to wrap it up. Dean held me tighter, knowing I wanted to stop there, leaving the wrist alone. I felt Sam's hands move up on my arm. This time there was no counting, just a swift movement, a rush of pain and a muffled cry followed by relief that the worst of the pain was over. Healing was nothing. Sam fitted me with the wrist splint and leaned over to squeeze my knee.

"All set, Nora. You did well," he said.

"Thanks Sammy," I said, the sound muffled as I was still nestled in my other brother's chest, waiting for the tears to stop before I looked at the boys.

Dean had relaxed his hold, but he still hugged me close, placing a kiss on the top of my head. I pulled away enough to let him see my face, knowing that it was useless to try stopping the tears. He could probably feel the dampness on his shirt.

"That's my girl, tough as nails," he said with a smile.

"I'm crying, Dean. I wasn't tough."

"There can be toughness in tears, kiddo," he said quietly forcing me to smile.

"If you say so, you big old softy," I answered laughing as I wiped away the tears.

It was already getting close to midnight. At Dean's suggestion, I headed out to get settled on the backseat of the car. Dean and Sam were in the car not long after I had fallen asleep. They were quiet so I easily fell back into a restful sleep shortly after we were on the road. When I woke up, we were just outside of town and the sun was coming up. Sam was still driving while Dean dozed in the passenger's seat.

"Good morning," I said stretching out.

"How did you sleep?" Sam asked, giving me a quick smile in the rearview mirror.

"Good, actually. Have you been driving all night?"

He nodded.

"How's the arm feel. You need any medicine?"

"I can wait until I have something in my stomach," I answered.

"Make sure he takes you to a doctor within a few days to see if you need a cast for that. The splint should be enough, but it can't hurt to be sure."

I nodded and looked out the window when I noticed Dean was waking up. He asked me the same questions as Sam and then the two of them fell into comfortable conversation until we arrived back at the house.

I could tell that Dean and Sam wanted to talk without me so I made my goodbye to Sam fairly quick, giving him a hug and heading straight up to my room. I had yet to unpack all of the way, but I could easily make it to my bed, which was what I wanted more than anything. After I heard Sam's car back out of the driveway, Dean came up to my room.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answered.

He gave me a knowing look.

"I'm sorry things are all over the place for us right now."

"It's ok," I offered, "I know you're trying to figure this out. I'm sorry if I make that more difficult."

"You don't."

"Yes, I do."

"You want those meds now?"

"I'll wait until breakfast. It's still early."

He nodded and kissed my head as I snuggled in bed, pulling my book over from the bedside table. When I heard the others get up a few hours later, I came downstairs.

"Waffles?" Dean asked, already warming up the waffle maker as Ben mixed the batter.

I nodded with a smile, sitting down at the counter. Lisa came to my side, hugging me with one arm.

"You know, I think we have to have a talk about the kind of company you're keeping," Lisa said gesturing to my hand, "You seem to be racking up the injuries these days."

I smiled at her and looked to Dean. He was focused on pouring the batter, but I knew he had heard us and he wasn't smiling. Lisa hadn't meant anything by it, just trying to lighten the mood.

"Imagine how much worse it would be without the company I keep," I answered as I slipped out of my seat to get myself a cup of coffee. On my way back to the counter, I slipped myself under Dean's arm and hugged him from the side.

He smiled down at me, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"How about you take those meds now?" he said, letting me out of the hug and grabbing the bottle from the cabinet. He poured one pill into my hand and handed me my mug.

"Thanks for taking care of me," I answered.

Dean nodded, but he was distracted as he absently took a waffle out of the waffle maker, setting in on a plate. After we ate, I settled onto the couch with a refill of coffee and a book, wearing running shorts and one of Sam's Stanford sweatshirts even though it was early summer and probably a little too warm for it.

Dean came down the stairs freshly showered and looked around the room.

"Where's Ben?"

"Bike ride," Lisa answered.

I looked up from my book as Dean stepped to the windows, anxiety fighting to expose itself on his face as he looked for Ben.

"What?" Lisa asked, putting down the dish she was drying.

I watched them, feeling the tension. I set down my book and stood up, pulling on my sneakers which sat by the door.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked, distracted from Lisa's question by my movement.

"To find Ben," I answered, "I'll be back soon."

Dean nodded, dismissing me. I knew by the time I was back, Dean would have decided if we were staying or going.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Thank you so much for the overwhelmingly kind reviews! The more you review, the more I want to keep writing. I feel like it's just pouring out of me lately, so here's Chapter 8. I've already got 9 mapped out, so it shouldn't be far behind!**

* * *

By the time that Ben and I made it back to our street, the sun was just starting to set. We had wandered around the neighborhood aimlessly for hours, settling in a park near the middle of town. I knew that Dean and Lisa needed time. And selfishly, I needed to spend all of the time with Ben that I could before my life went back to normal, meaning hunting and living life on the road with the boys. Ben asked about hunting. He had asked before, but he was more insistent now. I told him what I thought I could get away with, though it didn't feel like it mattered anyway what with the looming possibility of the Winchesters getting the band back together.

When we came through the door, Dean wordlessly slapped my cell phone into my hand, giving me a stern look.

"Uh, thanks," I offered, opening it and looking through the dozen or so missed calls, all from Dean. It had been on silent, stashed away in the side table next to my bed.

"You take that with you wherever you go. You know that."

"Sorry," I offered.

I hadn't originally anticipated being out so long so I didn't think anything of it when I left earlier in the afternoon.

"We need to talk," he said, directing me back towards the door I had just come through.

"What about dinner?" I asked, feeling the emptiness in my stomach from not eating anything since breakfast.

"We'll go get some," he answered while walking out the door.

I followed him out to his truck and slipped in next to him and stole a quick glance at him. He still looked just as conflicted as he had before him and Lisa talked. I was curious, but waited for him to start and instead kept my gaze out the window.

"Nora, promise me you're not going to be upset with me, whatever has been decided."

As he spoke those words and my head tried to figure out what he meant, I felt an uncomfortable shiver go down my spine. I figured that he and Lisa had decided we should stay. There were really only two options and that was the one which would potentially piss me off the most.

"Dean," I started, turning towards him though he was still staring at the road ahead of us.

"Nora, just promise me, please."

He sounded upset. He needed me to promise.

"Fine, I promise to _try_ not to be upset with you."

Dean gave me a half smile which I returned.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I want to wait until we have an audience," Dean answered.

I frowned looking back out the window, but didn't respond. That could never be a good thing. We pulled up outside a diner and we both got settled in the booth furthest from the door.

"So?" I asked after we sat.

"Figure out what you want first," he answered and pushed a menu towards me.

"Seriously, just tell me what is going on," I answered my frustration showing.

"Hi, my name is Leslie and I'll be taking care of you this evening. So, what'll it be young lady? Can I interest you in our special? Tonight we have a-"

"Water. Cheese burger with fries," I answered, sliding the menu over to the woman.

"O…k…" she answered a bit taken aback by my interruption. "And what about you handsome?"

She smiled at Dean and I let out a laugh which resulted in a glare from him, though I figured he had been glaring at me from the moment I interrupted the poor girl.

"I'll have the same as her. You guys have pie?"

"Sure do, sweetheart. Apple, pecan and blueberry."

"What's your poison, kiddo?" Dean asked looking to me.

"Blueberry," I responded flatly.

"Alright, an apple and a blueberry. Could you bring those out first? The blueberry with a scoop of ice cream?"

She nodded and walked away, preparing our pies for us which were brought to our table within a few minutes. I took a bite and responded with a light sigh.

"That is good pie," I said and Dean nodded in response. He took a few more bites before pushing the plate away and looking to me.

"Alright, I'm going to tell you what's going on, but I want you to keep two things in mind, ok? The first is that I love you, kid. The second is that we are in a public place with a lot of witnesses."

I took another bite and nodded, not taking my eyes off of his.

"Nora, I've done a lot of thinking on this. I'm not sure if this is the right thing to do, but Lisa and I have talked it through and it's the best we could come up with. She was surprisingly cool about the whole thing," he paused, studying my face before he continued, "I'm going to start hunting again."

"Ok, so when are we going? Where are we going first?"

I tried not to sound upset even though I was a little. There was no winning in this situation. Either I lost out on being with Sam or I lost out on being with Ben and Lisa.

"Here's the thing, kiddo, _we_ aren't going anywhere."

I felt like I had been punched in the gut.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked even though I knew exactly what he was saying.

"Nora, you know what it means. I'm sorry kiddo, but everyone thinks it'll be best for you to stay here with Ben and Lisa. You can go to school, still be a normal kid, but you can also protect them. You know how to protect them."

"Yeah, great, everyone but _me_ got to weigh in on what's best for _me_. Dean, this is bull shit."

"First off, watch the language. Second off, this will keep you alive. You can go to school, go to college. You can be a normal kid."

"I don't want that," I argued, pushing the pie away as Dean's announcement made my appetite cease to exist. The waitress came over, carrying our dinner, which paused our conversation until she walked away.

"Sure you do, Nora. You're too smart not to want that."

I didn't answer him. I didn't know what I wanted for the rest of my life, not really anyway, but I knew I didn't like the idea of being left behind.

"I'll be on the road with Sam most of the time, but when I can be at home with you guys, that's where I'll be."

I was someplace in between angry, hurt and confused, which rendered me speechless.

"Eat up, Nora," he said when he started digging in, but noticed that I had yet to touch my food.

I absently picked at the fries in front of me, refusing to look at him.

"Do I have any say in this?" I asked after a long silence had fallen between us.

"Not really. It's all settled with Lisa and Sam agrees."

I looked up at him and frowned. Sam agreed. I felt like my mind was being flooded with the million reasons why they didn't want me there with them. Sure, they had to do parenting on the road. Sure, sometimes I didn't listen to instructions 100%. Sure, I tended to give them attitude when I disagreed. Sure, I sometimes got in the way. But I was a good hunter, good at research and I was their sister. But they also still, after all these years, didn't know if I was dangerous to them. They didn't know why I had disappeared for what was years for them and nothing for me.

"What happened to staying together, the _three_ of us doing the family business _together_?"

"You'll be safer here."

"And more fun for you two without me," I countered.

"Nora, it is not about that."

"Sure it is. I just get in the way."

"It's about doing what's right for you, what's right for your future, kiddo."

"Well, I don't care about my future. I care about being with you and Sam."

I stood up to leave and Dean grabbed my wrist.

"Hey, don't you run away from me," he said. It wasn't really an order, but a request.

"I'm just going to sit in the truck. I want to go home."

A few minutes later, Dean slid into the truck, placing some boxes on the seat beside me. And then we were on the way back to the house.

"You're taking this better than I thought you would, kiddo. I'm proud of you."

"Well since it apparently makes no goddamn difference what I have to say, I figured there's no point in throwing a fit about it."

He didn't answer which I was grateful for.

"When are you leaving?" I asked.

"Tomorrow morning."

"Well, this is goodbye then. I'll see you next time you're in town," I said, slamming the door to his truck and running through the house until I could slam the door to my bedroom hard enough that the few pictures I had hung up on the wall shook.

I wanted to talk to someone, but clearly Dean had already solicited the opinions of everyone who mattered, so they wouldn't be interested in listening to me. Instead, I flung myself on the bed and pulled my blankets up over my body, turning away from the door. My sobs were loud and ugly and eventually, they drew me to sleep even though it was only 6:30.

I woke up a few hours later feeling my stomach growl. I had barely finished my dinner aside from the slice of pie. I went to the kitchen searching for the leftovers that I knew Dean had brought in and warmed them up. Microwaved cheeseburger wasn't the best, but it wasn't bad either. I searched the fridge for a bottle of barbecue sauce for my fries, but there wasn't any left so I moved my search to the cupboards where I found some on the top shelf, just out of my reach. Dean leaned over my head and pulled it down to the counter with ease.

"I'm not talking to you," I said, taking the barbecue sauce and walking to take a seat at the counter.

"I know," he answered, "And I'm sorry that this is the way it's going to be, but I need you to be safe. I need you to have the opportunity at a life Sammy and I will never have. I'm doing this because I love you, kiddo. I care about you more than I care about myself. I just hope you haven't forgotten that. I'm not doing this because I don't want you around."

Dean directed my gaze to meet his with a finger under my chin which made it harder to hide that my eyes were watering.

"But you said you'd never leave me. You promised," I said, feeling obligated to explain the tears that were now flowing down my face.

Dean's face fell as he pulled me into his chest.

"Little girl, I am not leaving you. I have a job to do, but I will always come back as often as I can. And you can call me every day. When you need me, I will be here. Have I ever let you down?" he said, trying to get a response other than tears.

"No," I answered quietly with a hiccup.

It was true. Dean hadn't ever let me down. I didn't blame Sam for going to school, but at the same time, I wasn't as close with him just because of the years we missed out on. Dad had told him to leave and never come back and until Dean and I went to Stanford to force him back into the life, Sam had done just that. During those years and those before and after, Dean had taken care of me. Dad hadn't done much child rearing in regards to me, but Dean had.

"I need you to really step up here. Ben looks up to you. Lisa loves you. You can help keep them safe for me. And when I can be, I'll be here with you guys. And if you get all high and mighty, don't think I won't come right back here and knock you down a few pegs."

I let out a small laugh as I released my grip on him a little. Somewhere in the conversation, my anger had all but dissipated and I was left just feeling sad. I loved Lisa and Ben like family, but Dean was still asking a lot.

"Are we going to be ok?" he asked.

I nodded. I couldn't really stay mad, just in the same way that I knew he couldn't really be mad at me if I had put up a bigger fight and thrown a full-fledged tantrum. Something in the way he was acting made me not want to fight him, so I just didn't.

It was early the next morning when Dean came to my room to wake me and say goodbye. I didn't cry. I hugged him and told him I loved him. Dean kissed me on the forehead and promised to call every day before tucking me back in and telling me to get some more sleep.

* * *

Almost a month later, Dean made it home. I knew he and Sam had been on a hunt in Pennsylvania and then had moved on to another in New York. He had kept up on his promise of keeping me close by calling me daily. Ben and I had been sitting on the front porch swing talking and snacking on pizza bagels one afternoon when I heard the impala pull in the driveway. I smiled at the sound and turned to see Dean walking towards the house.

"Dean!" I yelled, happy to see him home and in one tangible piece.

I met him at the steps and wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled me into his arms, lifting me a bit off the ground.

"Hey kiddo," he said, planting a kiss on my head while placing me on the first step so he could hug Ben.

"It's good to see you, bud," Dean said.

"You too, Dean. Nora said you were all the way in New York," Ben answered.

"Drove straight through," he answered and I could tell. He looked exhausted, but he was flawlessly masking it with a smile.

Dean guided us back to the porch where we pulled a chair over to the swing and the three of us talked. Ben and I about life at the house and neighborhood gossip, Dean told us about life on the road with Sam, though I could tell he was leaving a few things out.

"Dean, you want a beer?" I asked, getting up and heading towards the house. He nodded and continued his conversation with Ben about football, which Ben was planning on going out for in the coming school year. Dean took the beer I handed him as I took my seat beside him, kicking off my flip flops and placing my feet up on his lap just because I could. Dean raised an eyebrow at me as he took a long drink from the bottle and I smiled back at him.

"You think just because you haven't seen me, you get to treat me like your foot stool?"

"I've missed you," I answered, "And you look beat to hell, kinda like an old foot stool might, so if the shoe fits…"

"Oh really?"

Dean set the bottle down. I nodded slowly with a smirk as Dean's hands found my sides, making me squeal uncontrollably and squirm to release myself from his grasp while not falling on the ground. As the top half of my body slid over the side of the swing, I put my left hand down to stop myself from face planting and Dean pulled me back up with ease, successfully avoiding the cast that was still on my right wrist for the next two weeks. We both settled back down and he patted his leg with his hand signaling for me to put my feet back up and I obliged, crossing my legs and placing my feet in his lap. As I flexed my foot, he grabbed it and inspected the nails.

"Really what is it with you and the color pink? Since when do you even paint your nails?"

"Lisa and I do it every Sunday night," I answered defensively, "And it's not pink. It's called 'take me to the beach peach.' It's peach, Dean."

"It's pink."

I kicked his hand away from me and he threw up his hands in the air while rolling his eyes.

"Dude, I'm so sorry for leaving you to fend for yourself with two women," he directed at Ben with a laugh.

"Hey! Lisa and I are awesome. Ben loves us. Right, Ben?"

"Yeah, I love you guys, doesn't mean I have to like being the only man in a house full of estrogen."

Ben and Dean burst out laughing and I couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"So, what sport are you going out for?" Dean asked when he stopped laughing at Ben's comment, turning his attention to me.

I shrugged though I knew it wasn't what the answer he wanted. In truth, I didn't plan on getting comfortable here. I wasn't going to try out for the volleyball team because odds were likely that I wouldn't be here by the end of the season. I was doing what I was told. I was being a good little soldier and staying with Ben and Lisa, even enjoying myself a little, but I wasn't going to plant any more roots than I needed to. We sat there for the rest of the afternoon, just talking. Every once in a while one of us would grab Dean another beer, but that was the extent of our excitement for the afternoon.

"Dean Winchester."

Lisa's voice floated up from the end of the driveway where she had had to park her car since Baby was taking up the driveway spot. I could hear the excitement in her voice, though she managed not to sound desperate to get her hands on him. I pulled my feet back so he could get up. Ben and I made eye contact and avoided looking in their direction as they said hello. Although I wanted all of the time I could have with Dean, I knew that he and Lisa needed it too, probably more than I did. I talked to Dean every single day. I doubted that he called her as often. Dean gave me an appreciative squeeze on the shoulder when I suggested that Ben and I go hang out and have dinner with our friends so they could have some time to catch up.

"I'll drop you off and pick you up. I don't want you two riding your bikes home alone in the dark."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Well, if you'd let me get a license we wouldn't have this problem."

"Yeah, that's not happening. You're nowhere near ready for that and I don't need that kind of anxiety in my life. I'll drop you guys off."

"It's no problem, Jack, Mac and Evan can drive."

He looked at me like I was an alien with four heads.

"They live in the neighborhood," I offered, "Ben and I made friends."

"That sounds like a whole lot of testosterone to be friends with my little sister."

"If you must know, **Mac** kenzie is a girl. Jack is her twin and Evan is Ben's age."

"I want to meet them."

"Lisa has met them a bunch of times. They're cool. It's not necessary."

"I want to meet them."

"Fine, fine," I replied.

I headed upstairs to get ready. Jack and Mackenzie, along with Mac's boyfriend Charlie, were the closest thing to friends that I had had in a long time. Jack and Mac were almost a year older than me and Evan was a few years younger, closer to Ben's age. And though Jack and I weren't dating, we did like to make out from time to time. So while I wasn't trying to impress anyone, I wasn't trying to not impress anyone either. I came downstairs in a blue dress, jean jacket and boots and could feel Dean's eyes on me.

"What are you all dressed up for?" he asked.

"I'm not all dressed up. This is how I dress when I go out with my friends."

"No, this is how a girl dresses when she's trying to impress a boy."

"Dean!" I groaned.

"Have you been letting my little baby sister date behind my back?" he asked turning to Lisa. There was a hint of joke in his voice, but I still scowled at him.

"She's not dating, Dean. She'd tell you if she was," Lisa answered him cooly.

"No, I wouldn't. He'd probably go all psycho, call up Sam and the two of them would go on a hunt for a teenage boy. No survivors."

"See, she'd lie straight to my face," he answered, not even acknowledging my accusations.

"You're ridiculous, Dean. Can't you just tell me that I look nice and accept the fact that maybe I dress up because it makes me feel good, not for some stupid boy."

I could tell he was proud of what I said because of the stupid grin that fell over his face. Just then, Ben came down the stairs in a button down shirt and dark jeans.

"Oh, and will you look at that. Ben wore a button down, surely he's trying to impress some girl. God forbid he just want to look nice."

Ben blushed a little and looked at me weird. I looked at Dean, but he just rolled his eyes at me and exhaled dramatically.

"I don't look or sound like that," I answered, folding my arms across my chest and pouting. We heard Jack honk the horn and I picked my bag up to head for the door. Dean came as well, pulling the door open for me and allowing me to walk through first.

"You look beautiful, kiddo," Dean said quietly as I walked through, putting a smile on my face.

Dean eyed the Morgan's suspiciously, but in the end decided that they were not demons or shape shifters or punks, so Ben and I hopped in the car with them and headed out.

* * *

When we got back to their place after dinner, Ben and Evan had settled in the basement playing video games while Mac, Jack and I settled on the back deck with a bottle of their older sister's wine and scrabble. It wasn't uncommon for Mac and me to split a bottle of wine when we hung out at their place. Their older sister was in college and had a stash hidden in the room that Mac shared with her and their parents were never home on Friday nights. It was their date night and they always stayed out late. Jack only joined in the festivities when he wasn't driving Ben and I home.

Mackenzie had excused herself after I played the word 'muzjiks' a little more than halfway through the game.

"That's not even a word," she argued.

"It means Russian peasants," I replied, showing her the definition on my phone.

"Well, since you already won this game, I guess I'm going to call Charlie."

I shrugged as she left the table, taking her plastic cup filled with wine with her and heading back inside.

"You're weird, you know that?" Jack said, "I mean, who actually knows that word?"

"I do. I read a lot."

"Yeah, well your vocabulary is more extensive than even the most avid reader."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"It is," he answered.

I started cleaning up the game board while Jack watched.

"You seem happier today than usual," he commented.

"Are you trying to say I'm not usually happy?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"No, just you've been smiling all night. You glad your brother is home?"

I nodded.

"You love him a lot," he mused.

"He's my brother," I answered.

"No, it's more than that."

"Well, he practically raised me and I haven't seen him in almost a month. So, yeah, it's more than the fact that he's my brother. We've always been close."

Jack nodded.

"Has he always been so protective of you?"

"What do you mean?"

"He didn't take his hand off of your shoulder until he deemed us respectable to hang out with. He took an especially long time to decide that I was ok."

"He likes to know the people I'm with, especially if he thinks there's a possibility I might be dating one of them."

Jack nodded with a smirk.

"He thinks I'm your boyfriend?"

"I set him straight. Don't you worry that pretty little head of your, Jack."

"Yeah and what exactly did you tell him, Eleanora?"

He liked to use my full name and by this point, it felt useless to fight him on it.

"Not the truth. You wouldn't be here to see it if I had. We're friends or actually, I'm friends with Mac and you're just her nerdy twin brother."

I stood up to grab the scrabble pieces that Mackenzie had left sitting on the other side of the table and Jack pulled me down into his lap.

"I think I'm offended," he said.

"Don't be."

I kissed him and I felt the corner of his lips pull up into a smile as he pulled me closer to him. We weren't dating, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have some sort of feelings for Jack. I liked him as a friend and probably a bit more than that if I was being honest with myself, but we stayed away from defining things. It was just simpler this way. Still, there was no denying that I felt an almost primal attraction to him when we kissed. It was beyond my mind wanting him, my body craved his touch and I could tell it was the same way with him. Jack was handsome in the most average sense of the word. He was tall, almost 6 foot, and had a little muscle. His brown hair was a little bit long, he was always pushing it out of his eyes. His eyes were brown and I was undeniably physically attracted to each and every part of him. He pulled away when he heard my phone ring and leaned over to grab it off the table, placing it in my hand. He rested his hand on my leg and waited, knowing that I always answered for Dean and his name was the one flashing across the screen.

"Hey Dean," I said as Jack's hand trailed back and forth across my leg, just above the knee and under the hem of my dress.

"When are you and Ben coming home?"

"I don't know. Ben's playing video games with Evan. Why?"

"It's just getting late, Nora. What are you doing if Ben's playing video games?"

"Just hanging out," I answered nonchalantly, "What time is it?"

"Almost 11," he answered.

I knew Dean wouldn't go to bed until Ben and I were at home, safely tucked into bed.

"I'll get Ben moving. I know you must be exhausted. We'll be home soon."

"Thanks, kiddo."

I hung up the phone and Jack took it from my hands, placing it on the table behind me.

"Well, I have to say, I think I like it better when dear brother is out on the road," he said, entwining his fingers with mine.

"Why so you can make out with me all night? No offense, but I think I prefer having my brother home with me even if it does mean I've got an earlier curfew."

"Is that so?" he asked.

I nodded with a playful smile.

"We'll see about that."

Jack pulled me in again, placing a hand around my waist and the other taking a handful of my hair, pulling me closer to him and leaving me breathless when he finally released me.

"You know, it's really not fair how good you are at that."

"One of my many gifts. Let's get you home before midnight, Cinderella."

He smirked and I got up off his lap, heading inside to find Ben so we could go home.

* * *

Dean said he was staying through Monday, which didn't feel nearly long enough, but he said that Sam had found them a case that seemed to be right up their alley.

"How's Sammy?" I asked when he took me out for lunch on Sunday. I knew that Dean felt something about Sam was off, though he was reluctant to discuss it with me. It took some teeth pulling on Dean's part, but I had finally told him how I felt after the whole situation at Samuel's when Sam had slapped me, something that pre-hell Sam never would have even considered. My confession had caused Dean to be pretty quiet about the subject of Sam's odd behavior since being back.

"Sammy's fine," was all Dean had to offer, "Researching for the next hunt right now."

I nodded and conceded to stop asking about Sammy, figuring that I wasn't going to get much more than what Dean had already offered by continuing to pester him.

"You seem different, kiddo. Lisa said you've been a perfect angel since I've been gone," Dean commented.

I shrugged, "Is that really so hard to believe?"

"Uh, yes. Yes it is," he answered.

"Well, I'm just happy you're home," I answered hoping that Dean would leave it alone.

"No, that's not it."

"Yes it is," I insisted.

"Yeah, ok. What do you think I am, some kind of idiot?"

"Sometimes."

"You would tell me if something was really going on with you?"

I nodded though it wasn't true. There was a lot going on inside me and for the first time in my life, I was keeping my big brother at arm's length and he knew it. I wasn't telling him a big pile of lies, but I was omitting a significant amount of the truth. I was conflicted. I enjoyed spending time with Ben and Lisa. Without Dean around, I had a lot more freedom. But it almost felt like a cheap consolation prize compared to being able to be with my brothers and being away from them wasn't what I wanted. I was too far down the road of a hunter's life to feel completely comfortable in suburbia. And then there was Jack, the make out buddy that I was disguising as my friend's brother. It was just easier if he didn't know about all of that.

"Really?"

"Dean, I like living with Lisa and Ben. I do, but I just miss you and Sammy, ok? I'm used to being on the road with you guys, so it's weird knowing you're out doing it without me."

He nodded.

"But, I'm fine, ok? Nothing a little pie can't fix," I said, gesturing towards the dessert display in the front of the restaurant.

He smiled at me and said "Ok, kiddo" before waving the waitress over to take our dessert order.


	9. Chapter 9

It was less than two weeks later that I found myself craving a few days out of town. After being successful at tryouts, Ben had started football attending practices twice a day, which I found excessive for junior high. Mackenzie and Jack had left for their annual end of summer family vacation and they weren't due back until Labor Day. Only two days in and I was eager to get out of town, even if it was just to follow Bobby around and cook him dinner every day.

"What did Dean say?" Lisa asked when I proposed the trip to her. Dean hadn't explicitly said that I wasn't allowed to go places, but he had explicitly said that he didn't want me to be hunting. He wanted- About me to keep the house protected, but that was as supernatural as my life was allowed to get. As far as I knew, Bobby didn't have any potential hunts coming up, but hunts had a tendency to just kind of spring up on you.

"Not much, Lisa. Bobby and I aren't even going to be hunting," I insisted, "I'm just going to hang out around the house with him. Ben is gone practically all day. You're at work all day. Jack and Mackenzie are gone on vacation. I'm lonely and bored and this is the last two weeks of summer."

Lisa took pity on me and nodded her head. I felt the slightest twinge of guilt at leaving out the fact that I didn't actually ask Dean, which was why he didn't have much of an opinion on the matter.

"Great, Bobby's on his way to get me. I should be back by this weekend."

"Nora Winchester, you're unbelievable, you know that? What if I had said no?"

I shrugged.

"I had a feeling you would say yes. You understand me, Lisa. You're good cop," I answered with a smile.

She shook her head but I saw the hint of a smile. I respected Lisa and we usually didn't have any issues. But when it came down to it, if I really wanted to do something and she said no, I wasn't likely to let her stop me.

* * *

The first few days with Bobby were standard for us- catching up and the usual activities, hiking, watching old movies, etc. Bobby's place felt like home in the same way that cheap motel rooms and the back seat of the Impala felt like home, which meant I was more than comfortable just bumming around and accompanying him on errands around town. Though it was summer vacation and I had no place to be, I adhered to a fairly early bedtime, no later than 10:00, and an early 6:00 wake up call, just like when I was a kid and Dad left us with Bobby. I knew Bobby stayed up half the night, usually reading one of the many books in his library of monsters. He may have been accustomed to just a few hours of shut eye every couple of days, but I still strived for as close to 8 hours a night as I could manage.

It was around 11 in the morning on my third day at Bobby's and I was sipping coffee, reading at the kitchen table while Bobby took care of some things out in the salvage yard. Bobby's main landline started ringing and I stood up, calling Bobby's name out the screen door. He was no place in sight so I reluctantly went to answer the phone myself, thankful that it wasn't one of the other lines so I wouldn't have to impersonate a federal officer.

"Bobby Singer's phone."

"Eleanora Winchester!"

"Oh shit," I breathed into the phone.

"Oh shit is right, little girl. What the hell are you doing answering Bobby's phone?" Dean said, his tone going from surprised to thoroughly pissed off in a matter of seconds.

"He's out in the yard someplace so I got the phone for him," I answered.

"You know that's not what I was asking. Why are you at Bobby's?"

"Just visiting," I answered meekly.

"Yeah and why is this the first I'm hearing about it?"

"Because I didn't know I needed your permission. It's just Uncle Bobby's."

"That's a blatant lie. You always need permission. Does Lisa know?"

"Yeah. It's not like I ran away from home, Dean," I answered quietly although that wasn't an illogical conclusion to make in this situation.

"And why would Lisa let you go without talking to me about it?" he pressed.

"I don't know, why don't you ask her if you're so curious?"

"Nora!" he snapped and I cringed, hating that even over the phone, he could tell the difference between the truth and a lie.

"Because she thinks I talked to you about it," I mumbled.

"Ah and there it is right there. You are lucky we're about 7 hours from Bobby's and in the middle of a case right now."

That distance didn't make me feel lucky. They could be to me before the day was through if they wanted to be.

"Who you got on the phone there, darlin?" Bobby asked as he came back into the house.

I didn't answer, but handed him the phone. I picked up my book and intended to sneak out the back door to find a comfortable spot out in the junkyard, but Dean must have explained things quick. Before I could take two steps Bobby had very calmly yet sternly told me to sit my ass down and I was in no position to argue with the man. I listened while they talked about whatever case the boys had originally called about and waited for the call to end. Bobby finished talking and handed the telephone back to me.

"Your brother wants to talk to you and then you can get to work helping me figure out this case, got it?"

I nodded and put the phone up to my ear as Bobby headed for his office.

"Dean?" I asked into the receiver.

"Guess again," he answered and I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"Oh. Hiya Sammy."

"Don't you dare 'hiya Sammy' me right now. You know how dangerous it is for us to not know where you are. How dangerous it is for Dean to be all worked up about you when we're working a case. Both of us need to be focused on the case, not focused on you."

"Geez, Sam, relax. I'm sorry. You guys don't need to worry about me. I'm fine."

"You're not fine, Nora. You lied to Bobby; you lied to Lisa and you lied to us."

"I didn't lie. I just left some details out."

"Enough. You're in trouble with Dean and you're in trouble with me. You're going to be far from fine when we come pick you up when this is over, you got that?"

"Yes, sir," I mumbled and then the phone clicked from Sam's end. I remembered Dean had been a little off, a little impatient, a little disconnected after coming back from hell, but Sam was just taking things to a whole new level of brotherly bitchiness. I set the phone back on the hook before making my way into Bobby's office.

"What the heck were you thinking, little girl?" he asked staring at me over the book he had open on his desk.

"I was thinking that I wanted to come visit you and that they didn't need to know about it because Dean would have just said no. I just missed you, Uncle Bobby and I get lonely at home. I'm sorry I didn't at least tell you the truth."

He didn't want to be mad at me and I could tell that by the way his face had already begun to soften a bit.

"I don't know why you think you can sneak anything past them. They may be a little slow, but your brothers know you better than they know themselves. Sometimes, kid, you are just as big an idjit as those two doofy brothers of yours."

I smiled and Bobby rolled his eyes.

"You're smiling now, girl, but if I catch you lying to those boys again, they won't be the only ones angry, you got it? They need to know where you are and you need to do as you're told. And you don't ever lie to your Uncle Bobby, got it?"

I nodded.

"Ok, then. You better help solve this case quick if you want any chance to make it up to them."

I took the book he was holding out for me and started reading although I had no desire to help them solve the case quickly. Solving the case quickly meant that they would be here faster. Not to mention, the clues didn't exactly point any place logical. No sulfur, no EMF, no hex bags, a few chests cracked wide open and a claw. This didn't give us much to go on, but it didn't take long before Bobby found a lead and we were on our way to the library to find a book. We worked straight through dinner and around 3 AM, Bobby sent me up to bed after noticing that I was doing more nodding off than reading. I came back down a few hours later and he was on the phone with Dean, telling him what he had found.

"You're welcome," Bobby said after pulling the phone away from his ear abruptly when Dean had hung up.

"Hey Uncle Bobby, why don't you get some rest. I'll clean all of this up."

As was usually the case after a research binge, the office was a mess. Bobby was about to nod his head, but then we both turned, hearing a woman's voice from below us.

"Hey! I'm still down here."

Bobby looked at me with a blank expression.

"Balls! Why don't you go take a walk, kiddo," he said instead.

"What do you have down there? A demon?"

"Go take a walk," he repeated in a gruff tone.

I turned on my heel and headed out the front door to take my walk. When I pulled my phone out of my pocket to listen to some music, I noticed a missed call from Jack. I took a seat in one of Bobby's junk cars and called him back.

"Hey Jack," I said when I heard him pick up.

"Where are you?"

"My Uncle Bobby's. It was kind of last minute. How's vacation?"

"Beautiful. Quiet. Lonely without you."

"No pretty girls there?"

"Lots of pretty girls here. None of them are you."

"Smooth, Mr. Morgan," I answered with a smirk, "You can see other people if you want, Jack."

"Thanks for the permission, master. I'll pass, but I will need to see you immediately when I get back. Like first step off the plane immediately," Jack said.

"That may be a problem. I'm probably going to be grounded for eternity. I didn't exactly tell my brothers I was coming here and now that they've found out about it, they're treating it like I broke out of prison or something."

"Like Frank in Escape from Alcatraz."

"Something like that," I commented, "Don't make a nickname out of that though."

"Already done, Frankie," he answered. Jack had a big thing for nicknames. The more obscure and random, the better.

"Well, anyway, you may or may not ever see me again, so I hope you enjoyed knowing me."

He laughed.

"Your brother can't be that much of a hard ass."

"Brothers," I corrected, "They're both pretty mad about the whole thing. They're on their way to me as soon as they're done with their business in Wisconsin."

Jack knew that Sam and Dean worked together and that they traveled a lot, but that was just about the extent of it.

"Well, I will say it has been a pleasure knowing you, Miss Winchester," he said with a laugh.

"You won't be laughing when you read my obituary in the Sunday morning paper."

As I came around the corner to the front of the house, a car was just pulling in the driveway.

"Jack, I got to go. we'll talk later."

"I'll eagerly await it, Frankie," he joked and I pocketed my phone before walking towards the driveway to see who had just arrived.

"Nora Winchester, look at you all grown up."

"Hey Rufus," I said as he pulled himself out of the car, "What're you doing in this neck of the woods?"

"Is Bobby around?" he asked.

I nodded.

"You wanna go get him for me, sweetheart?"

I nodded and headed inside. Bobby was at the table with a drink in his hand when I came inside the house.

"Rufus is outside if you're done with whatever it is you were doing down there."

We both walked outside and Rufus popped the trunk, exposing a curled up female form.

"You want to help me bury this, pal?" Rufus asked.

"What is it?" I asked as Bobby inspected the body.

"What? You never heard of an Okami before, girl?" Rufus said, laughing a bit.

"She's not exactly in the life, Rufus," Bobby answered, "She's just a kid."

"Yeah, but she's John Winchester's kid," Rufus answered bringing a smile to my face.

"Well, this is some kind of weird, Rufus. I thought these things didn't leave Japan," Bobby commented.

Rufus shrugged.

"Well if it's any consolation, her brothers are hunting a Lamia in Wisconsin. Damn monsters these days."

While Rufus and Bobby went to hide the body, I settled down with the book that I had been trying to finish.

* * *

"Good afternoon, Miss Winchester. Is Bobby around here somewhere?"

I had been sitting out on Bobby's porch a few hours later with my book in my lap when the sheriff and another man I didn't recognize walked towards the house. I stood up and met them at the steps.

"Uncle Bobby's inside," I answered suspiciously, "Anything I can help with?"

"Actually, I'd like to ask her a few questions before we go in," the man beside her said, "I'm Agent Adams."

"She's a minor, Adams. You're not questioning her. You said Bobby's inside, sweetheart?" Sheriff Mills had cut him off, shooting me a small smile.

I nodded and they both headed towards the door, me following them inside.

"Either of you seen this man?" Agent Adams said, pushing a sketch into our faces.

I immediately shook my head although I knew Rufus had left a little over an hour before. Sheriff Mills convinced the agent to go wait outside and had sent me upstairs so she could talk to Bobby privately. It was over thirty minutes later when I heard Bobby yelling into the phone.

"You're a damn idjit Rufus, you stab it 7 times, not 5. What was it hunting when you found it?"

Then a pause.

"Great, now that thing is on the loose and I've got Nora here and my neighbor down the road for it to chomp on. Thanks a lot."

At that point, I made my way down the stairs and he was already dialing the phone again.

"Dean, we've got a problem. You got to come get your sister. It's not safe for her here right now."

"Are you questioning me, boy? There's an damn Okami on the loose that likes single females and your sister fits the bill. I don't care how, but you need to get her out of here and you need to do it now."

Bobby hung up the phone and Castiel appeared directly to his left.

"Hello," he said.

"Well, that's quick," Bobby answered.

"CAS!"

I side hugged Cas quickly and he gave an awkward couple of pats to my shoulder.

"Eleanora, we must leave now."

"Alright, let me get my stuff."

"No time for stuff, now."

With that, he placed his hand on my shoulder and I heard the characteristic woosh of angel wings.


	10. Chapter 10

When I opened my eyes, we were standing in a hotel room in Wisconsin.

"I don't have time for this nonsense, Dean," Castiel said, "There's war in heaven. This was not an emergency. I can't be your personal escort."

Sam chuckled and he received a glare from Sam.

"I don't think what I said was funny," Castiel responded.

"Cas, if you want someone to blame, she's standing right next to you," Dean replied.

I squirmed under Castiel's gaze. I hadn't seen or heard from him in over a year and I couldn't help but feel like we were getting off on the wrong foot.

"I don't know what you did wrong, but I know you weren't following Dean and Sam's instructions. You need to listen to your brothers, Eleanora," he said before he disappeared from sight.

"Are you okay, Nora?" Dean asked.

"I'm fine, Dean. Bobby overreacted."

"Good. You take a seat and start translating then."

He patted a thick book that sat on the table.

"You're not going to yell at me?" I asked.

"I'm going to finish my beer first, so sit your ass down, get to work and be quiet," Dean replied, taking a sip of his beer.

"How did the hunt go? Where's S-?"

The bathroom door swung open as I was speaking and Sam came out freshly showered, rendering my question unnecessary.

"I'm going to get dinner. What exactly was unclear about Dean's instructions to sit down and be quiet?" Sam asked, stopping a few inches in front of me.

"N-nothing," I stuttered.

"Ok, then. Sit down and shut your mouth unless you want an audience when Dean decides to rip you a new one for the stunt you pulled."

I sat and pulled the book over to me, starting translations where I had left off, wondering why Dean conveniently always seemed to have a Latin book around, even though he was on the road. I translated in silence until I felt Dean's gaze on me.

"Are you more or less angry than you were last time we talked?" I asked, looking up to him.

"Do you really need to ask that question, Nora?"

I shook my head once and watched as he took another swill of his beer while maintaining his eye contact with me. Dean didn't often get less angry about things. He got more controlled, more strategic, but the caliber of his anger didn't tend to vary.

"Would it make a difference if I'm sorrier than I was when you found out?"

"No, you're only sorrier because Cas found out and he's disappointed in you."

"That's not the reason, Dean," I answered, though I didn't like Castiel being disappointed.

"Let's hear it then. Please, my all means, enlighten me."

"I didn't mean to worry you guys," I offered.

Dean let out a hearty laugh.

"You know what, I have got to applaud you, Nora. That is a nice attempt right there. Unfortunately for you, that's pretty much on the bottom of my list right now. You were with Bobby. We weren't worried about you. Maybe a little about the Okami thing. If you had been where you were supposed to be, I wouldn't have had to call Cas down from Heaven to get you to safety when he's got his own things going on. If you hadn't lied to Lisa, Sam and me-."

"Would you have let me go if I had asked?" I cut him off.

His eyes narrowed at me cutting him off.

"I guess you'll never know."

"That's Dean Winchester speak for 'no'. You're not even home and you've still got us all on lock down. Newsflash, Dean- nothing is coming for them or for me. You're just fucking paranoid!"

"And I think you're dangerously close to biting of a little more than you can chew here so you might want to think twice before raising your voice to me again," he suggested.

Dean's tone was entering the range where I knew was pushing things, but I wasn't nearly done.

"No, you left me with your girlfriend so you could go gallivanting around the country with Sam. What is the big goddamn deal that I didn't ask you if I could go to Bobby's? I couldn't care less that you're mad that I lied about it. You're on the road, you're not home. You can't have it both ways. You're so far out of our life at home. You don't have the slightest idea what it's like there anymore."

"I think you better go back to translating in silence for a bit before I say or do something we both regret."

I glared at him, not particularly caring what he meant by what he said.

"Go right ahead and do or say whatever you want, see if I care," I answered, pulling my arms up across my chest.

"Damnit, Nora," Dean yelled, his hand slamming down against the flimsy table, "Unless you lose the attitude, you'll be grounded indefinitely. Pretty sure Sam would agree."

"You can't ground me _indefinitely_."

"You're forgetting a very important element of the dynamic here, little girl."

A lot of times when Dean called me 'little girl' or 'my girl' it was endearing. It brought a smile to my face and a warmth to my heart. But said in this particular situation, it brought a chill to my veins. Dean pulled my chair back from the table and turned it so I was facing him. Dean leaned over me, placing his hands on the arms and so I couldn't have moved away from him if I had the nerve to try.

"Look at me," he stated, his voice steady.

I stared at a mystery spot on the floor about a yard away from us.

"Eleanora Winchester, I want your full attention and I want it right now."

I brought my eyes to his and he continued.

"I want to make something very clear to you. So clear that you will never again think to question it. I am an _adult_. Sam is an _adult_. You are a _child_. _I_ provide for you. _I_ protect you. I have taken care of you since the day you were born. That all means that _I_ decide how long you are grounded for. _I_ decide what it entails. If you can't manage the freedoms you're given, _I_ will take them away. You do not get an opinion on it. You will not whine about it. I make a decision and we will not discuss it. I'm more than fair and you know that. You think you know so much about the world because of the way we grew up, but you're wrong and I will be damned if I sit by and let you get away with stupid shit because you think you know it all. You're smart, kiddo, I'll give you that, but you don't know it all. I am certain that you know better than this, though. I raised you to know better. So when Sam and I decide how we're going to deal with this, you are going to take it without an ounce of attitude or defiance. Do we have an understanding?"

I was distracted by the sound of the Impala pulling in up front and Dean snapped a finger in front of my face, which brought my eyes back to his.

"When I ask you a question, I want an answer. Now do we have an understanding?" he snapped.

"Yes, sir," I muttered, breathing a little easier when he stood up, taking his hands from the arms of my chair.

"Right answer," he responded.

Sam came in a few seconds later, the smell of Indian food wafting through the room. I groaned and pulled the book out of the way as he set the bag down on the table.

"Is there a problem?" Sam asked, an eyebrow raised.

"No, I _love_ Indian," I answered.

Neither of them were impressed with the sarcasm so I shut my mouth. I had never liked Indian food, not for lack of trying though. It just didn't appeal to me. Something which they were both well aware of. I folded my arms across my chest, watching while the two of them enjoyed their feast. When they were on their second helpings, I stood up to leave them to it.

"Where do you think you're going?" Dean asked.

"To get ready for bed. There's nothing here for me to eat," I answered.

"Uh uh. You're not getting off that easy. You'll get ready for bed when we tell you to get ready for bed. Sit down," Dean said with a mouth fully of curry.

I hesitated and he set his plate on the table, looking to me, clearly annoyed.

"And here I thought that discussion we just had actually sunk in a bit. You know what would have happened if one of us pulled this stunt with Dad?"

I didn't answer him, but I could tell that he was expecting a response from me.

"I don't think it was a rhetorical question, Nora," Sam prompted.

"Yeah, I know exactly what would have happened," I mumbled.

"And what's that?" Dean prompted.

Dad was not a fan of punishments like grounding or translations or taking phones away. He wasn't abusive, but he was a little more traditional. All three of us had been smacked around a time or two by John Winchester for falling out of line.

"Dean," I complained, "Is this discussion really necessary?"

"Hey, you don't want to cooperate, fine, but you've got two angry brothers right now, not just one. Two brothers who haven't decided how this is being handled yet. You may want to keep that in mind."

"Can you two just decide on how I'm being punished already so you're not lording over my head?"

"You could show some respect. Dad would have beat your ass the second you were within range for lying and for being an insolent little brat. And honestly with the way you've been acting, you would have deserved it," Sam said in the most nonchalant tone I'd heard him speak since being back.

"Yeah and since when do you condone that?" I spat. Sam had always resented our father for that particular trait.

He shrugged, "It would be more effective than grounding you, wouldn't it?"

Sam was staring at me, but I tore my eyes away and looked to Dean, trying to ask him ' _are you hearing this crazy talk?'_ without actually speaking the words. Dean looked a little surprised by what our brother said, but not like he thought Sam was being too far out of line, or maybe he was just trying to remain a united front.

"No, it wouldn't be effective and you guys aren't Dad, so..." I said.

"Oh?" Sam asked, but then Dean spoke up.

"You're right, we're not Dad. So if I tell you to sit down, you be grateful that option is not on the table and you sit your ass down. Got it?"

I was thankful that Dean had squashed the conversation, so I took my seat while the two of them continued to eat their dinner. I leaned my head back in the chair and folded my arms across my chest. Suddenly my stomach growled into the silence that had fallen between us. I sat up and held my stomach, trying to quiet it.

"You seriously didn't buy anything she would eat?" Dean asked Sam, who responded by shrugging.

"There's nothing wrong with this food right in front of her," he answered.

"Go get something out of the vending machine," Dean said, pushing a few dollars in my direction, "You've got three minutes."

I came back with Reeses and a bag of Cheetos which seemed like the worst dinner ever after living a normal life, complete with regular home cooked meals, for over the last year. I opened the Reeses first and took a bite of one. Dean snatched the other and took a bite which was over half the original size of the peanut butter cup. He set it back on the wrapper and smiled at me.

"What the heck, Dean? That's my dinner!" I complained.

"My money, my dessert."

Sam started cleaning up the table and Dean plopped the book back in front of me so I started translating again, which would pass the time at least. Dean and Sam both got back in their chairs at the table. Dean was looking through the paper and Sam was on his laptop. We continued that way in silence for almost an hour before Dean set the paper down and Sam closed his laptop.

"So, you're obviously grounded. You already know what that entails," Dean said.

"You want to share with the group?" Sam asked.

Dean looked to me.

"No phone, no laptop, no tv, no friends, no hunting, running in the mornings, going to bed early, translations, chores," I relayed in monotone.

"You can run with me," Sam said and my face fell. Sam was in really good shape. Sam liked to run long and fast.

"And since we're on the road, you can take care of the gun cleaning."

"For how long?" I asked.

"Until we decide otherwise. Is there a problem with that?" Dean asked.

I shook my head, swallowing all of my arguments and keeping my mouth shut.

"Good," Dean answered.

"You disobey direct orders or lie again, things won't be this pleasant. If I sense even the smallest bit of dissent or disrespect, you won't be happy with the result, Nora. Now go get ready for bed," Sam said, clearly feeling like Dean hadn't said enough..

I stared at him but didn't move right away.

"You heard him, Nora. Go get ready for bed."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I heard Dean whisper-shout after Sam after I shut the door to the bathroom, "What exactly are you threatening with her?"

"The same thing Dad would have done. She's a teenager who needs discipline, Dean. You threatened her with it, but she didn't take you seriously. I just made sure she knew we meant business, so why exactly am I the bad guy here?"

"She didn't take it serious because I wasn't being serious! I don't mean business!" Dean shouted.

"Well maybe you should. The kid needs to learn some respect."

"You're off your rocker, man. Like way off. Like you said, she's a teenager. She would hate us. She'd probably be scared of us."

He was right about that. I had always respected my father because he was my father, but also because he was one hell of a terrifying guy when he was angry.

"So what, Dean? She'd certainly show a little more respect," Sam answered, "She'd think twice about lying to you."

I heard Dean scoff, the opening and closing of the fridge and then the sound of the television in the background. I turned on the shower and stepped inside. Thankful that even though he wouldn't say it in front of me, Dean thought Sam was being ridiculous. I didn't have any extra clothes with me, but Dean had set one of his old t-shirts and a pair of shorts on the sink with a toothbrush. After I dressed, I sat on the edge of the tub, brushing my teeth while listening to Dean talking on the phone through the gap under the door.

"Bobby- something's not right with Sam," he said quickly followed by, "What do you mean it's not a good time?"

"Yeah, sure, Bobby, I'd love to hold."

I had to laugh at his tone.

"Hurry it up, Nora. You've got two minutes then I want your ass in that bed."

"Coming!" I answered, continuing to brush my teeth, my ear as close to the door as I could manage as I waited for Dean's phone conversation to continue.

"Bobby, what the hell? I just don't know what to do here. Sam's different. He's about ready to go all Mommy Dearest on Nora if she disobeys a direct order. He's just a little intense," he said. Dean had been mocking Sam when he said "disobeys a direct order."

Dean stopped talking and suddenly pulled the door to the bathroom open.

"Knock much?" I asked, the toothbrush hanging out of my mouth.

"You better not have been eavesdropping," he answered, noting that I was perched on the edge of the tub. I didn't answer.

"Goddamn it, Nora! Get your ass out there."

As I made my way out after spitting and rinsing off the toothbrush, I saw that Dean was bringing Sam in from out front and I took a seat on one of the beds. Dean sat beside me and Sam on the bed across from us. He seemed pretty calm, which was weird since he had seemed so aggressive before I had gone to shower.

"Alright, Bobby. You've got us on speaker," Dean said.

"Sam, Dean, is Nora there too? She needs to hear it just as much as the two of you."

"We're all here Bobby."

There was a lengthy pause on Bobby's end.

"I love you three kids like you were my own. You know I do, but there are times. There are times when you are the whiniest, most self-absorbed brats I have ever met. You call me selfish? I do everything the three of you ask. You need some obscure lore, I do that. You need to bitch about each other, I do that. You need someone to save your ass, from a monster or in Nora's case, from you two idjits tanning her hide, I do that. Every damn time one of you has needed me, I've come through."

"Bobby-," I started, feeling a pang of guilt in my chest.

"Nora Winchester, you shut that damn mouth of yours and you listen to me. I don't want to have to repeat this ever again, got it?"

He didn't wait for me to answer before he continued.

"I have never let you kids down and what do I get for it? That's right a whole lot of nothing. Can't remember the last time I heard any of you utter a thank you."

"Bobby-," Dean started.

"Do I sound finished to you, boy?" Bobby roared even louder than when he yelled at me. Dean looked shocked as Bobby continued.

"You three have got issues. I know that, but news flash the rest of us have got problems too. You three are not the center of the goddamn universe. Now, Nora's a teenage girl so I would expect nothing less from her."

I scoffed, but no one else reacted.

"But Sam and Dean it's time the two of you grow the hell up. In case you've forgotten, it's getting closer and closer to that time when Crowley's going to come to collect my soul and I'll be damned if I am going to just sit around and be damned. So, how about for once in your goddamn lives, you help me instead of the other way around?"

Out of fear at being shouted at again, I waited for the others to talk first.

"Bobby, all you gotta do is ask?" Sam answered.

"Anything you need, Bobby, just let us know," Dean said.

"Yeah, Bobby, anything," I said quietly, mirroring my brothers' comments.

Bobby sighed and didn't answer us.

"I'll call you kids in the morning."

"Bobby," I said.

"Yeah, Nora?"

"I'm really sorry. You know we love you," I said.

"I know, but that doesn't keep you from needing a kick in the ass every now and then, does it? Goodnight."

Bobby hung up and I exchanged looks with the boys.

"Well, that was interesting," Sam commented.

"I've never heard Bobby so angry before," I said.

"He was the mad at Dad once. You were too young to remember when he threatened to shoot him full of buckshot," Sam answered with a chuckle, though neither of us found the humor there.

"Alright, Nora, I want you in bed," Dean said as he got up from the bed to grab a beer from the fridge.

I crawled under the sheets of the bed furthest from the door and turned over to face the wall, staring at for just over an hour before I fell asleep listening to the sound of Dean watching late night tv mixed with Sam typing on his laptop.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: You reviewers (and other readers) are wonderful! :) Here's another chapter featuring a little more of the Sam/Nora dynamic, well the Season 6 Sam/Nora dynamic, anyway. Enjoy! - Hannah**

* * *

I startled awake the next morning after feeling something hit my foot which was poking out from under the covers. I pulled my foot in, fully intending on going back to sleep.

"Time to get up."

I groaned and opened my eyes at hearing the intonation in his voice. Sam was already dressed and ready to go. Dean snored in the next bed over. The clock on the nightstand read 5:30.

"Too early," I groaned.

"Meet me outside in five minutes," he countered, not even acknowledging my comment.

I pulled the covers over my head and Sam pulled them back, bending his legs so he was closer to my face.

"I mean it, Nora. Five minutes."

"Fine," I snapped, pushing the covers off and swinging my legs over the side of the bed.

"Cas dropped this off for you," Sam said, handing me the bag that had been left at Bobby's in the rush to get me out of there.

"When did he bring that?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and stretching my arms over my head.

"Middle of the night."

I smiled. It was a nice gesture and one that meant Castiel couldn't be too annoyed with me. He got frustrated and snappy with us when things weren't going well in Heaven, but he rarely stayed in a bad mood for too long. For whatever reason, he had a soft spot for us when it came down to it and at this point, we had been through so much together that Castiel was an honorary Winchester.

"Get moving," Sam said when I just sat there, temporarily zoning out of it.

I snatched the bag and headed into the bathroom to change and pull my hair back out of my face before splashing it with water. I headed outside to see Sam stretching out his calves against the side of the motel room and I halfheartedly joined in. The sun still wasn't up, so it was still a bit brisk and the street lights were still on.

I wasn't looking forward to running with Sam for god knows how long at some unreasonable pace, but that wasn't why I felt hesitant. My interactions with Sam since after the djinn situation had been confusing. He was distant one minute, then angry, then relaxed and calm the next. On some level, I felt like Sam had always been attuned to my feelings. Dean and I had always been close because we spent so much time together, because he had from the time I was very young, assumed an almost parental role in my life. Sam and I were always close because at his most basic core, he understood me and was sensitive to the way I saw the world. And I was attuned to him as well, as well as I could be with being so young. Dean was like a father but Sam had never shown any interest in being that for me. He let Dean handle me when I misbehaved. He only raised his voice or uttered some sort of threat when it was really warranted. Sam had always been there to make Dean see my side of things when he got all riled up though.

But since Sam had come back he seemed just the opposite. We were so out of tune with one another that it felt like most of the interactions caused a rub, sometimes painful, sometimes just a small irritation, but there was undoubted friction. Sam finally looked at me while he was stretching his arms above his head.

"What?" he asked as I stared at him blankly.

"I'm exhausted. Did you have to get me up so early?" I asked, mirroring his stretches.

"I was up," he answered, "And you weren't sleeping well anyway- tossing and turning all night."

I blushed, a little embarrassed that I had been having bad dreams. I wasn't used to sharing a room anymore. If Sam noticed that I was embarrassed, he didn't seem to care.

"And anyway, it's supposed to be a punishment. You wouldn't hate it nearly as much if I let you sleep in."

I had to admit, he had a point there. The running wasn't even a big deal. I did it for fun on my own sometimes. The punishment came more from the fact that I had no choice in the matter... and that it was 5:30 in the morning.

"I want you to keep up with me. We'll stop along the way and do some basic workouts."

"Sounds like a dream come true. What are you, some crazy workout fiend now?"

"I've always liked working out. It's good for you. You and Dean should try it."

Sam had always enjoyed running and being generally healthy, but I could tell just by looking at him that he had been taking it a little more seriously since coming back from hell. He was clearly in better shape, stronger and faster, which I saw for myself when he started running.

"I run pretty often, actually," I answered, attempting to match his pace, though it was hard with his legs being so much longer than mine.

"Probably because you're grounded so often."

"No, because sometimes I just like to run. It clears my head."

Sam didn't answer me and we fell into an almost comfortable silence for quite some time. For me, it was not out of choice, but because my lungs were burning and I couldn't have kept up with a conversation if I tried. Sam just looked straight ahead while he ran as if I wasn't even there with him. His breathing was easy and even as he ran. I just felt like I was going to die, but I kept up with him as best as I could.

"You're out of shape," he commented.

"Well, maybe because I'm not grounded as much as you think I am."

He looked at me briefly with a look that was similar to surprise.

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean anyway? Jerk!" I shot at him in between breaths.

"It means both you and Dean have been enjoying that apple pie life a little too much."

"Sorry we couldn't all be out hunting with a bunch of strangers, spending our free time working out and hiding away."

"Watch it," he snapped.

"You know, you used to find my sarcasm funny," I said quietly.

"Did I?"

I nodded.

"I guess you're losing your touch."

I was grateful to be on our way back to the motel room. Sam had slowed down enough that I could breathe comfortably, but my legs felt like jello and I couldn't wait to collapse on the bed.

"Is it going to 5:30 tomorrow morning, too?" I asked.

"I'll make it 6:00 if you can make it back to the room before me."

I didn't answer him before breaking out into a sprint. We were still a ways away from the motel, but within a ten minute run. As I broke through the trees and came to the parking lot, I didn't see Sam in front of me or to my side. I smiled and figuring Sam was somewhere behind me, I slowed as I near the door. I stopped, throwing my arms in the air when I saw his form leaning against the hood of the Impala with a smirk.

"Unbelievable," I grumbled, "Where did you even go?"

"I know a short cut."

"What the heck!"

He shrugged and walked towards the door, but I shoved past him and walked through first. He may have won, but there was no way I was going to let him shower first.

"You know, it wasn't even fair. You're like gigantor and I'm a slow runner. You cheated, you jerk."

I jabbed him in the side and scowled because Dean was occupying the bathroom before collapsing in a heap on the bed, not caring that I was covered in sweat. I just hoped for the sake of the next guest that this place actually changed the sheets.

"What did you call me?" Sam asked, standing at the foot of my bed.

I set myself up on my elbows so I could look at him.

"I didn't mumble. A jerk, Sam. I called you a jerk. You dangle 30 minutes of extra sleep in front of me and then you cheated. That's the definition of a jerk!"

Suddenly, I felt Sam's hands wrap around my ankles as my feet were pulled up in the air, eliciting a quick scream. He held me dangling upside down in the air in front of him.

"You want to repeat that, kid?" he said.

"Put me down!" I shouted.

"Take it back."

"No, put me down!"

He let me go for a fragment of a second and I put my hands out to avoid falling face first into the ground, but he had stopped me in time and was now pulling me up and down like he was lifting a weight, my ponytail resting on the floor each time he lowered me.

"Sam, stop it!" I complained.

"No, you're a good work out. Just the right weight," he answered with a laugh.

"Sammy Winchester, you put me down right now!"

"What the hell is going on out here?" Dean asked as he came out of the bathroom, his expression very confused as he looked at us.

"If I wanted a weird chick flick sibling bonding moment, I'd turn on the Lifetime Movie Network," he snapped when he finally adjusted to the situation that was playing out in front of him.

Sam chuckled as I attempted to free myself by reaching my arm around my back in attempted to punch him in the leg. Dean started laughing too.

"He's got you in a pretty vulnerable position, doesn't he kiddo?" Dean said, taking a step in our direction.

"If you come near me with any intention of tickling me or doing anything other than helping me down, I will punch you in the balls."

Dean laughed and put up his hands in surrender.

"Alright, well can the two of you get showered and dressed then? Your big brother is hungry and there's a hell of a lot of guns to clean before we hit the road."

Sam let go of one of my ankles and grabbed a hand instead, successfully putting me on a feet.

"I've got shower first," he announced, taking his things and going into the bathroom.

"Damn it, Sammy!" I said, sitting down on the bed and folding my feet underneath me.

After Sam closed the door, Dean was looking at me though he had a newspaper in his hands.

"How was that?" he asked.

"I don't know what's gotten into him. He's acting all stupid and annoying like you."

"I think I'm a little too mature for yours and Sam's nonsense, Nora. How did the run go?"

"Aside from me not being able to breathe and him basically calling me fat twice, it was fine."

Dean raised his eyebrow.

"Apparently you and I are both out of shape," I explained.

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yeah, I mean, I know you've put on some weight, but I haven't."

"Hey!" Dean shot back at me and I smirked.

"Sammy's words, not mine," I answered, arms raised.

The bathroom door opened and Sam came out, showered and dressed.

"My body is a temple," Dean said, patting his stomach and eliciting a big laugh from me.

"Sure," I replied

"Temple of ruins, maybe," Sam commented

I burst out in laughter and Dean shot me a look.

"Go get in the shower, Nellie, you smell."

"Yes sir, Chubby Checker, sir."

Sam let out a laugh, "That nickname has got serious potential."

I headed for the shower, grateful that although my brothers could be hard asses, they usually moved on from things quickly.

* * *

At the diner, I slipped into the booth and Sam slipped in beside me. When the waitress came to take our order, I rolled my eyes in anticipation of Dean's merciless flirting. Then I remembered Lisa, which meant Dean wouldn't be a total pig even though the young waitress was beautiful, with pale skin and light brown curls, wearing the stereotypical diner girl uniform.

"Hi my name is Mairead, I'll be taking care of you three this morning."

"That's a beautiful name. Isn't that Irish?" Sam asked.

She nodded, "Yeah, it is. My mother is Irish, born there actually."

"I took an Irish literature course when I was at Stanford. I remember a particularly intriguing character by the same name."

The girl's cheeks were red, probably because of the way that Sam was staring at her. Dean held the same confused face as me while we watched him continue to talk with her. Sammy was heavily hitting on this young woman and he was being real smooth about it.

"Uh, well, anyway," Dean interrupted after a few additional exchanges, "I'll have a coffee and the special."

"Oh right, of course," she answered, embarrassed.

She took down Dean's order and then mine, turning to Sam next.

"What's your favorite item on the menu?" he asked.

I put my head down on the table unable to handle listening to it anymore with a straight face. Sam ordered what she suggested and thanked her before she took the menus and walked away. Dean waited until the girl walked away.

"What the heck was that, lover boy?"

"Yeah, since when do you try to pick up chicks at diners? I thought that was Dean's job."

"I have a girlfriend. When was the last time you saw me pick up a girl at a diner?" Dean defended.

"You used me to pick up diner girls for years Dean. You used your sweet, innocent baby sister to pick up chicks. One year of being a decent gentleman does not erase those years, but seriously Sam? Real classy."

"We're not heading out until after you clean the guns. I've got a little time to kill," Sam said, putting us back on track.

My mouth dropped as the words came out of Sam's mouth.

"You are disgusting," I said.

"Nora just lost all respect for you, Sam, but man, what a proud day for me. Finally, I know that my years of mentoring have paid off and my prized student is trying to pick up a girl during breakfast. Consider me impressed."

Dean had a ridiculous grin on his face and his hands were resting behind his head.

"You two are idiots. Please explain to me why you're proud of Sammy for shamelessly hitting on a girl at breakfast, but if a guy _looks at me_ the wrong way or in any way at all, you flip out?"

"Because you're not allowed to kiss a boy until you're thirty. Looks lead to kissing which will get you pregnant."

"Teenage boys only want one thing, Nora," Sam said distractedly as his gaze was on Mairead as she was bringing over our drinks.

"Same thing as adult boys, apparently," I said, gesturing to Sam.

"Good point, Nora. You're never dating. Pretty simple solution," Dean replied.

"Yeah, that sounds fair," I answered, pulling my mug of coffee closer and taking a sip.

My brothers were protective, a word I had come to occasionally equate with ignorant and sexist. To some extent I found it funny, mostly because they were fairly clueless regarding my experiences with boys. Other than Jack, there had been just two other boys I had ever kissed. One kid in first grade and another boy I dated last year at school. The first had gone to the school near Bobby's and had happened during one of the longer stints that I stayed with him. The other was just a boy that had few classes with me. Not that either of those were by any means serious, but I still couldn't believe they thought I had never kissed a boy. I had just turned sixteen, not three.

We left the diner and headed back to the room after Sam insisted on paying in order to score a few more conversational exchanges with Mairead. Sam said he was going to run errands and headed out, leaving us at the room, which was obviously not-so-secret code for going to hook up with his new waitress friend. After two hours of gun cleaning, with Dean inspecting each piece before he deemed it acceptable, Sam had returned and we were finally on the road. They had decided on dropping me at home before continuing on to whatever hunt was going to be next.

"How are those translations coming along?" Dean asked.

The Impala had been steadily heading towards Indiana for just under four hours before I got bored of translations. It was unfortunate that I didn't get car sick, so I wasn't exempt from continuing. I had been staring out the window, watching the trees blue past while trying to tune out the sound of Led Zeppelin and my brothers' conversations.

"They're coming."

"Your pen hasn't moved in the last four songs," he said in an accusatory tone.

"I'm thinking about the words before I translate-," I started, but Sam turned around.

"Nora, don't strain yourself trying to come up with a believable excuse. Let me see what you've got so far."

I shut the book with my papers inside and passed them up to him. Dean stressed completeness, Sam stressed accuracy.

"Are we stopping for gas soon?" I asked, "Or at least for a bathroom break?"

Dean groaned.

"Sure thing, right away, princess. Let me get right on that."

"Go ahead, joke about it. You know holding in your pee causes UTIs," I replied.

"How pleasant. I'll stop when I can. We don't have very many options right now," he answered.

Dean was right. We were in the middle of nowhere driving down some deserted highway in between Indiana and Wisconsin.

"Are you guys going to stick around for a while or are you just dropping me and running out of town?" I asked. They had been very minimal in giving me their plans. As of right now the plans consisted of: Get in Impala, Drive home.

"Well, I really should stick around and make your grounding the most miserable experience of your life, but we've got to keep working," Dean said.

"You don't even have a case yet!" I argued, "You guys can stay until you find something. Ben's birthday is coming up anyway. Sam can stay in the guest room."

"Maybe you shouldn't worry what we're going to do and focus a little more on translating these correctly."

Sam gave me a look that illustrated he was unimpressed and passed the papers back to me covered in slash marks. I shut up and looked over the corrections, most of which were nit-picky little mistakes, if you could even call them mistakes. I would call them differences of opinion. Regardless, I worked on making them perfect until Dean finally pulled up outside a gas station.

"We're not breaking again until home so make the most of it," Dean said before he got out of the car to fill the tank with gas.

Sam joined him, both of them leaning against the car while talking. I put my book to the side and slid out taking a moment to stretch my arms and legs. I headed to the bathroom first, pleased that it wasn't the most disgusting I had been in. As the mirror wasn't busted or filthy, I checked my appearance. I looked exhausted, which wasn't surprising considering the last 24 hours consisted of restless sleep, angel transport and a Sammy Winchester work out session.

Inside the gas station, I headed straight for the candy, grabbing peanut m&m's and then walked to the coffee station, settling on their original house roast before grabbing for a cup.

I felt a hand come down on top of mine before I could take a cup from the stack.

"It's two in the afternoon," Sam said.

"And?"

"You don't need coffee at two in the afternoon."

He held out a bottle of water for me and I grumbled. Even though it was crappy gas station coffee, I had my heart settled on it.

"Sam," I protested.

"You drink coffee now, you won't be able to fall asleep tonight."

"Yeah? So? I'm grounded remember? It's not exactly like I have any plans for tomorrow."

"We're going running in the morning. 5:30, remember?"

I felt a small smiled creep across my lips.

"So you guys are staying then?"

"Just until we find a case."

"Cool!" I said, taking the water bottle from him and heading to the cash register.

"Why are you so excited? You're grounded."

I shrugged.

"So? Grounded or not, I'd rather have you two around. It's not like I love you any less because I got yelled, just like you guys don't love me any less when I screw up, right?"

I looked at him when he didn't answer right away.

"Huh, yeah, right," he said nudging me towards the door.

As I slid in the back seat of the Impala, I poured a few m&m's into my hand and passed the rest up to Dean. I saw him smile in the rear view mirror before he looked up to meet my eyes.

"Thanks, kiddo."

"Welcome," I said, pulling the book back into my lap.

On one hand, I hated the translations. On the other, I occasionally came across exciting things- demon exorcisms and random rituals. Then it became fairly interesting and less of a punishment, which was why I was fairly quiet and engaged for the duration of the rest of the trip.

As we came into the town limits, closing in on our neighborhood, I was having trouble concentrating. Coming home meant seeing Lisa, which meant apologizing, if she would even accept one. The last time I had seen her was when I had left for Bobby's after lying to her. If all had gone according to plan following that, I would have been on my way home now with Dean and Sam none the wiser about the whole thing.

Lisa was getting dinner ready and Ben was sitting on the couch watching a movie when we came through the door. Ben called out a hello, but didn't move from his spot on the couch. Lisa smiled as Dean came close to her, hugging her with an arm and giving her a quick kiss on the lips.

"It's good to see you, Lis," he said.

"I'm happy you're home, Dean," she answered, kissing him again before noticing Sam and me standing just a few feet away.

I waved, silently, and Lisa's face held a neutral expression as she nodded in my direction. I left my bag where I was standing and went to see Ben.

"Hey Sam," I heard Lisa say, "Glad you're staying with us. Finally get to know the brother Dean and Nora rave about. I've got the guest room made up for you."

I sat down on the couch next to Ben and let out a sigh, putting my feet up on the coffee table.

"How mad is your mom?" I asked.

"Not that mad," he answered.

"That's good. How have you been?"

"Good. Tired. Practice is tough."

I nodded, settling myself beside him.

"How much trouble are you in?" he asked.

"I'm grounded- indefinitely. Here's a piece of advice for ya, if you're going to lie, make sure you don't get caught."

Ben smirked at me. The TV was switched off and I looked up to see Dean standing behind us with the remote in his hand.

"Grounded means no TV, Nora."

"Yeah, well, that's why I wasn't watching it," I answered.

Dean gave me a look which clearly said I should shut my mouth before he responded.

"Yeah, well, your bag doesn't belong sitting in the middle of the hall either. So go take it upstairs before dinner."

I turned towards Ben, rolling my eyes, "I'll be back."

* * *

Conversation at dinner was centered on Ben's football practices and Lisa and Ben getting to know Sam, which was fine by me. I mostly sat in silence, listening to the rest of them talk while eating my dinner. When things were wrapping up, Lisa stood, taking plates from Dean and Sam with her into the kitchen. Dean nudged my arm so I stood up, taking the rest of the plates with me and following Lisa into the kitchen.

Lisa put the dishes in her arms in the sink and turned to look at me as I placed the plates on the counter.

"Lisa, I'm sorry," I blurted out, "Like, really, really sorry. I shouldn't have lied to you. You didn't deserve that. If it makes you feel any better, Dean grounded me for like an eternity."

"Yeah, an eternity where I have to uphold it," she said, "I appreciate the apology, Nora."

"Did I ruin this? Do you hate me now?"

"No," she laughed lightly, "I would be some kind of hypocrite if I hated you for lying to me. I was a little surprised because I thought we had an understanding that I was the cool one - apparently not. And I hate _myself_ a little for falling for it, but I don't hate you, Nora. Not by a long shot."

"Wish Dean and Sam felt that way," I answered.

"You're talking about your brothers, right? You're lucky they didn't just kill you on the spot," she said with a smile.

"Well, as long as you're not mad at me…"

"You do the dishes and we'll call it water under the bridge," Lisa said.

"I think that's more than fair," I answered, moving towards the sink. She pulled me into a quick hug and I squeezed her back before she left the room and I started on the dishes.


	12. Chapter 12

Sam's 5:30 AM wake up calls were very quickly getting old. The morning after we arrived back home, I woke up feeling like I got hit by a bus. Muscles I wasn't even aware I had were sore and I felt stiff. I supposed it was because Sam was right, I was desperately out of shape. I rarely trained over the last year- occasional jogging or running didn't count. I begged Sam to take it easy for a day or two.

"And that right there is exactly why you're out of shape," he said in response to my begging.

"And that right there is why everyone thinks you're mean."

The more I thought about it, that was really what was different about Sam. He was a little mean these days. It was like his filter had disintegrated. It was taking some getting used to. Despite it all, I was grateful that Dean and Sam had decided to stay through Ben's birthday, which was going to be my chance to see Mac and Jack who had been home from their vacation for a few days already.

"They're Ben's friends, too," Lisa had argued lightly when Dean straight up refused to let Mackenzie and Jack attend the party on account of my grounding.

"You mean to tell me that two seventeen-year-olds are friends with a twelve year old?" he argued.

"The five of those kids hung out all summer long, Dean. You haven't been here. You don't know," Lisa answered.

Hook. Line. Sinker. My lips raised at the corner, forcing a smile. I hadn't heard Sam come up behind me where I had been sitting at the dining room table, absently translating for hours since I had finished mowing the lawn, but I felt Sam's hand smack the back of my head.

"Jesus, Sam. That hurt," I said, cradling my head in protection against further assault.

"Quit eavesdropping and get back to work."

I scowled, but did as I was told as Sam sat down across from me, opening his laptop, probably searching for a new job. Overall, things were fine with both of my brothers being home. Dean seemed happy, having all of us together, but Sam was restless. Unfortunately for him, the world of supernatural had been fairly quiet over the last few days, which meant they were staying put. Sam and I ran in the mornings and then he often disappeared for hours during the day and again after dinner as well. I figured he was at a bar, which wasn't usually his scene, but things had changed and there wasn't much else that he could be doing around this town.

* * *

It days later when Dean got a call from Bobby. Dean, Sam and I were sitting around the table while Lisa was at work and Ben was at practice. Dean had put it on speaker and I attempted to keep working though I couldn't deny that I was far more interested in Bobby's progress with the Crowley issue than I was with the particularly boring chapter I was working through.

"Remember when you kids said you'd help out?" Bobby started, sounding uncomfortable.

"Anything you need. What is it Bobby?" Dean asked.

"I found out where Crowley's buried and let's just say I did some very scientific testing and that whole burning a demon's bones thing is far from a myth."

Sam and Dean both looked intrigued.

"He's buried in Scotland," Bobby said.

"You want us to go take care of it Bobby?" Sam asked.

"If it's not too much to ask," Bobby mumbled.

"Of course it's not, Bobby," I answered. I got a glare from both of my brothers.

"Yeah, not happening, jail bird," Dean said, which didn't surprise me.

"But she's right, Bobby. Don't you worry. Dean and I will take care of it," Sam said. Dean wasn't so enthusiastic about a flight across the Atlantic and that much was obvious by the look on his face.

They made plans to leave for Europe on the day after Ben's birthday and I wasn't surprised that they were leaving me behind. Sam had sprung into action and I could tell he was grateful for something to do, something to research.

"You know what fun we could've had, the three Winchesketeers in Europe?" I said only half-jokingly when Sam announced that he had secured their tickets.

"I wouldn't push it. You should be grateful I'm not locking you in your room for this party tomorrow," Dean answered, but something in his voice sounded forced and I knew he didn't mean it. Slowly but surely this grounding was nearing its end. It had already been a little over a week and he had already become more lenient.

"And if you ever use the term, 'Winchesketeer' again," Dean had made a disgusted face, "I will disown you."

* * *

Ben turned 12 on Thursday night and as a family, we had gone out to dinner downtown and ended the night at home. It was Dean and Sam's second to last night before heading out to Scotland and because the party was the next day, it was really the only downtime we had left. Lisa and Dean had decided to give Ben a gift before the party, which turned out to be a DVD of The Shining. One of Dean's favorite movies.

"Seriously? Can we watch it?" Ben asked, excitedly. He was a movie buff with quite an impressive collection of classics for a 12-year-old.

Lisa nodded and I scooped my Latin book up off the table.

"I'm heading up," I said.

"Why don't you give those translations a rest and watch a movie with us?" Dean said taking the book from my hands and placing it back on the table.

"Really?"

He nodded and I didn't hesitate any further before sitting down next to Ben, in the corner of the L-shaped couch, while Dean and Lisa got everything set up and made popcorn. Dean took a seat between me and Lisa while Sam got comfortable on the end, reclining his seat back. I had grown up watching this movie with Sam and Dean, so it was familiar, the lines solidified in my memory. I took enjoyment in anticipating Ben's jumps and screams until I was so tired that I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I leaned into Dean's arm, tugging my hoodie over my head and pulling the blanket up under my chin so I could at least try to shield my closing eyes and pretend I was watching

"Are you sleeping?" he asked when I didn't react to something in the film.

"Just resting my eyes," I answered quietly.

He chuckled and lifted his arm, resting it on the back of the couch so I could fit myself under it and against his chest. Within seconds, I was asleep, exhausted from over a week of 5:30 am wake up calls.

"Come on, Nora, time for bed," Dean said, gently shaking my arm after the movie had ended.

I grunted and grabbed his hand to stop him and pulled it close to my chest, holding his hand in both of mine.

"She's ridiculous," Sam said from a few feet away.

"Well, there's only one way she's getting off this couch."

Dean swung me into his arms and I repositioned myself against his chest, drifting in and out.

"You baby her."

"Shut it, Sam," Dean snapped and I smiled into Dean's chest.

I opened my eyes when Dean set me in bed and pulled the covers over me.

"Thanks for bringing me to bed," I said, "I wouldn't have made it up those stairs."

"No problem, kid," he answered with a laugh.

"Am I still grounded?" I asked.

"You learn your lesson?" he asked.

I nodded.

"I guess not. Can't promise you that Sam won't still wake you up at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow though."

I smiled, "That's ok. It's not so bad."

"Get some rest, Nora. You're on decorating duty tomorrow."

* * *

As Sam and I took a left urn onto Galster Rd, meaning we were within 10 minutes of ending our run at home, I decided it was time to ask him about what happened in hell. Things had been relatively comfortable between the two of us over the past week, meaning no overly violent threats or overly uncomfortable exchanges. He had only snapped at me a handful of times and some of them were probably deserved. And even if we hadn't been getting along, I still wanted to know because they were heading to Scotland and I had no idea how long it would be before I saw them again.

"Sam, can we take a break?" he looked at me and after a few paces, slowed to a stop.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

I held my hands over my head while catching my breath though I hadn't needed to. I was just gathering courage.

"Sam, what happened to you in hell?"

Sam stared at me, his facial expression blank. There was no look of deliberation, no thoughtful consideration on his face.

"Nora, I don't remember Hell," he answered.

"I don't believe that for a second, Sammy. And I know I'm not the only one who thinks there's something going on. Dean does too."

"Yeah, did he say that to you?" Sam asked, his face still showing no emotion one way or another.

"Well, no, but I can tell. You're not you, Sam."

"Like I said, Nora, I don't remember what happened when I was in hell."

"I don't believe you. You're hiding something, Sam, I know you."

"You're sixteen, Nora. You don't know anything," he said in such a patronizing tone that I wanted to hit him. Sam had always valued my right to an opinion. Whether it was right and whether he supported it was another story.

"Screw you, Sam."

Sam could have caught up with me if he had wanted, but he didn't so I deviated from our usual route, running through streets I had never been on, hoping that I could clear my mind. When I finally made it back home, Sam and Dean were talking at the table while Dean drank his coffee so I headed straight upstairs to shower without uttering a word to either of them. It was almost two hours later when Dean pushed open my bedroom door without knocking. I had just taken my hair out of my towel and was brushing it out.

"Yeah, sure, come right in," I said.

"Do you pay the rent?" he asked.

"No, but neither do you. So Lisa can come in any time she wants," I replied.

"You want these back or not, smart ass?" he asked, holding out my laptop and cell phone.

"If you're offering them, I will gladly accept," I answered.

He set the laptop on my desk and I reached out for the cell phone, but he pulled it back before I could take it and sat down on the end of my bed. I continued brushing my hair, untangling the last few knots.

"What happened with you and Sam this morning?" he asked.

I shrugged.

"Why do we always have to play this game, Nora?" he said in a slightly exasperated tone.

"I'm not playing a game," I answered, turning away from him to look in my mirror.

"It is, Nora. It's the one where you act like nothing is going on when I know that something is. Please stop that and look at me."

I turned towards him and set the brush down.

"It was nothing, Dean."

"Then why have you been hiding out up here all morning?"

"I'm introverted. I like a little 'me' time."

"You've been grounded for the last week. No one enjoys that much 'me' time. You're avoiding Sam. What's going on?"

I gave him a long look before sitting down next to him on the bed, pulling a knee into my chest and letting the other hang off the side of the bed.

"I asked him about Hell," I answered.

I was safe with Dean and I knew that. I could talk to him about stuff like this, though how much he gave back had varying results. Dean didn't say anything right away and I could tell he was considering which way he was going to take the conversation- fighting between his own curiosity on the subject and his desire to keep me out of the whole thing, to keep me out of whatever was going on with Sam.

"What did he say?" were the words Dean finally settled on, which I noticed were pretty neutral. He could find out what he wanted and then shut the conversation down.

"That he doesn't remember anything," I said, "But he's lying Dean."

"You don't know that, kiddo. The only person who knows that is Sam," he answered.

"I know you agree with me."

"Nora," Dean said, his tone starting to form an edge.

"No, Dean. Don't pull out your 'Dad' voice on me," I argued.

"Nora, you don't know what it's like. If Sam says he doesn't remember it, you don't have any reason the fight him on it, got it? I don't want you to fighting with Sam about it."

"I'm not fighting with him. He's just lying and I just got in a boat load of trouble for lying…"

"Sam's an adult and there's no proof of what you're saying. I want you to let it go, Nora. If Sam wants to talk about it, he will, ok?"

I didn't answer. Though Dean was keeping me out of it and defending Sam, I knew he felt the same about it. Dean knew both Sam and I so well that there was no way he couldn't sense that something was different with our brother.

"I know you're just worried about Sam, but let me take care of it. Focus on school starting next week. Focus on your friends, ok?"

"Ok," I conceded, knowing Dean wasn't one to give in.

"And take it easy on Sam," he said.

"I will," I answered.

"Good, your services are needed out back then," he said as he got up and made his way towards my bedroom door.

* * *

I was grateful that Mackenzie and Jack were present at the party because besides them, it was a pretty young crowd. The three of us settled at the table with a deck of cards, catching up on the last couple of weeks and talking about school coming up. I made plans with Mackenzie to do some shopping on Monday before she excused herself to go see her boyfriend Charlie, leaving Jack and I alone at the table playing poker with coins.

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind for our big reunion," he said while sipping from a water bottle.

I smiled at him with a knowing look. Under different circumstances, we would have gotten the hormones out of the way by now, but instead I felt charged with yearning as we talked. Comments he made took on a different meaning. Mackenzie had given us a few weird looks before she left. Still, it was better than nothing. When he came in with his siblings, we had hugged longer than necessary.

"You must be burning with desire," I said with a playful smirk on my face.

"You really have no idea, Frankie."

"Really? Still with the Frankie thing?" I frowned as I shuffled, "I really hoped that one wasn't going to stick."

"It's what got us into this fruitless mess."

"Well, I'm not grounded anymore," I said, flashing him my phone, "And my brothers are going out of town tomorrow, so there's that."

"There is that," he agreed, his gaze going to Sam and Dean who were sitting with Lisa, absently keeping an eye on the grill. Dean and Lisa watched the boys playing football in the yard, but I was surprised to see Sam's gaze was intently focused on me. I waved to acknowledge I saw him and looked back to Jack.

"Sam's being so weird," I offered. Somehow, Jack and Mackenzie had slipped in without me introducing them to Sam. He had been busy with helping Dean set up the grill and I wasn't eager for the introduction to happen anyway.

"You want to talk about it?" Jack asked, "You've met Mackenzie, so obviously I understand weird siblings."

"Not particularly. This is different."

"You just seem distracted," he said.

I shrugged, "I'm going to get cake. Want some?"

I was just about to stand when the chair beside me was pulled out and Sam slipped into it.

"You going to introduce me to your friend, Nora?"

"Jack, Sam. Sam, Jack," I said.

I got comfortable in my chair. There was no way that I was leaving Sam alone with Jack.

"You kids are playing poker? Deal me in," Sam said.

"Big blind is a dime," Jack said, dealing the cards.

We played at a casual level for a long while, talking a bit, but not much. After the river on a hand, Jack folded leaving Sam and I in. I intended on keeping my bet until Sam made a big raise, 50 cents. My cards were shit, but Sam didn't know that so I raised him another ten. Sam threw his cards upside down on the table, silently folding. I threw mine on top of his, thankful I didn't need to show my crappy hand. I pulled the pile of coins to me, stacking them neatly in piles in front of me.

"So, how long have you been with him, Nor?" Sam asked.

"What?" I asked, "Sam, we're not dating."

I looked at Jack, his facial expression was blank.

"Well, your poker face sucks, kid. Always has. Ever heard of a tell? You do this thing with your ring," he said, flipping my cards over and revealing my cards, the 3 of clubs and 7 of diamonds.

Sam had let me win that hand to prove a point. Maybe he was more in tune with me than I thought.

"We're just friends, Sam," I answered, conscious of keeping my hands still as they rested on the table.

"Yeah, Dean said that."

"I'm gonna go get that cake now," Jack said, standing up and heading to the kitchen.

"What is your problem?" I spat at Sam.

"You're lying. I know you, Nora."

"I'm not. We're not dating."

"You're not just friends, that much is beyond obvious and you like him,"

"So what if I do? You going to run and tell Dean?" I accused.

"No, I'm just illustrating a point."

"Yeah, great, well, thanks so much for that, Sam," I said, walking away from him to find Jack still busy in the kitchen. He was taking his time getting the cake and I pulled myself up to sit on the counter next to him as he handed me a slice.

"Sorry about that. He's in a weird mood lately," I said, popping a bite of cake into my mouth.

"You mentioned that."

Jack leaned on the counter with an arm and maintained his eye contact as he studied my face, not touching the piece of cake that he had cut for himself.

"What?" I asked when he wouldn't stop staring.

"Nothing, you were just pretty quick to say that nothing's going on."

I shrugged, "You want me to tell them what's going on? It's your death certificate I'm signing."

"How exactly would you even go about explaining what is going on?" he asked.

"How would you?" I countered. This conversation was bringing us to the very same discussion that I had been effortlessly avoiding all summer. We had kept feelings out of this. It was fun. It was light. It was easy.

"I asked you first," he said with a look in his eye that told me I wasn't getting out of this without giving him something.

"Well, I suppose I'd say that I'm making out with my best friend on a fairly regular basis."

Jack let out a laugh and nodded with an appreciative expression on his face.

"You're adorable sometimes."

I took another bit of cake, "I know."

He took the plate out of my hands and put his lips on mine before I could stop him, his hands gently cupping my face. My hands were in his hair and then my arms settled around his neck, pulling him close to me. It was better than usual on account of the anticipation. At the sound of the sliding door, I pushed Jack away from me and pulled the cake back into my lap.

"Hey Dean," I said as he stepped into the kitchen.

"What are you two doing in here?" he asked looking back and forth between Jack and I.

"Cake," I answered, holding up my plate.

He had gone towards the fridge to get a beer and then turned back to face us.

"Any good?" he asked referring to the cake.

I nodded and he stepped forward, taking a bite with my fork before setting it back on my plate.

He nodded his head, "Not bad," he said, "Off the counter," he added, tapping my leg.

I scooted off the counter so I was standing in front of him. He was staring at my face and I felt my heart rate pick up.

"You feeling okay? You look flushed, kiddo," he said, putting the back of his hand on my forehead.

"I feel fine, Dean," I replied, pushing his hand away.

"You sure?"

"It's just warm out," I answered.

"Well, why don't you two get back outside? Party's out there."

I nodded, "We'll be out in a second."

Dean nodded and though I had turned back my back to Dean, I could tell by the look on Jack's face that they were in having words with their eyes. I waited to speak until I heard the door shut.

"That was a little too close for comfort," I said.

"I like to call it exciting."

"I've had enough excitement for one day."

Jack smirked, pulling me close to him again, "You sure about that?"

I landed a chaste peck on his lips.

"I'm sure," I said before turning my back to him and heading outside.


	13. Chapter 13

I was thankful that Ben and I got to start at the new school during the first day. We were exciting, but not that exciting. I had never started at any time except in the middle of a semester, usually leaving me to play catch up. It was a small district, with kindergarten through twelfth grade all housed in the same building. By about a month in, I became nothing special, effortlessly blending in with Jack, Mackenzie and Charlie's group even though they were a year older than me. I only had a class or two with each of them, but it was enough to get me through the day without having to force myself too far out of my comfort zone. Sam and Dean had come home from Scotland successful and immediately headed out on the road again, hitting a few small town hunts before ending up in Limestone, Illinois where they were investigating disappearances of some teenage girls.

"You're not into this Twilight crap, are you?" Dean said while talking on the phone one evening, "You don't do the chat rooms, Team whatever and all that stuff?"

"I mean, I read the books," I answered keeping my tone neutral. There wasn't much I wouldn't read and those books were all the rage.

"I don't know if I can be your brother anymore, Nora," he said.

"Everyone read them, Dean. They're popular."

"Well you're not everyone. You're a Winchester."

"You said I'm supposed to be a _normal_ kid, remember that?"

"Well, I didn't say you're supposed to be a mindless idiot like the rest of them. Please tell me you didn't enjoy them."

"They were an easy read, De," was all I said in response. In truth, I hadn't exactly hated them. I identified that it wasn't the best plot, writing or character development, but I had made it through all of the books in the span of a few days. Call it guilty pleasure reading.

"You should call social services, girl. You are officially a ward of the state. Or maybe Sam will still claim you. He's always been half teenage girl anyway," Dean continued his game. I could tell by the playfulness in his voice that he was enjoying it.

"Funny, Dean, but I don't think Sam would want me," I answered. I hadn't talked to Sam much since he and Dean left the last time. There was the occasional speaker phone call or Dean handing the phone to him, but I hadn't called him just to talk.

"How is he?"

"Sam's fine," Dean answered.

"Good. That's good," I answered waiting to see if he was going to expand on that.

"You know, his phone works just as well as mine does."

I wasn't mad at Sam anymore over him being a jerk in front of Jack, but we didn't end things in a great place. Even over the phone I still seemed to be able to get on his nerves.

"I don't think he wants to talk to me. We didn't leave things in a great place," I finally added when Dean didn't say anything.

"You think that might have anything at all to do with the way you've been acting? Sam's been fine. I think he just needed time to adjust to having us again. He had been out hunting non-stop for almost a year and you're not exactly a peach to deal with all the time."

I shrugged though I knew he couldn't see it.

"Nora."

"Dean."

"Nora."

I didn't say anything. Dean had taken up the stance of defending Sam whenever I brought up the subject of Sam being different or of the two of us disagreeing. Part of me was starting to believe the issue was as simple as Sam just not having any patience with me anymore. When I thought about it, Dean didn't really push Sam, but I did – just about every chance I got. I had always been that way with him because Sam usually gave me the answers I was after. If he was being weird, enough poking and prodding would make him tell me what was up. Maybe that was our issue. Maybe he just wasn't as patient or as forgiving anymore, so when I was constantly asking questions and fighting back at the things Sam said, it set him off. This fit right in with Dean's line of reasoning. Dean hadn't come right out and said it and I would disagree with vehemence if he did, but deep down, I couldn't help but see that it would make sense..

"You're not even giving Sam a chance, kiddo. You think it might make a difference if you did?"

I exhaled. We had been having this conversation every couple of days since they made it back to the United States.

"So you're going to try then?" he asked.

"Only because I'm sick of getting grumpy old man lectures from you instead of hearing about the case," I answered.

"Hey, whatever it takes, kid," Dean answered.

"Lisa said you're coming home," I said changing the subject before I agreed to do something tangible, like having calling Sam or apologizing.

"Yeah. In a couple of days. Once we're through with the case."

"Is Sam coming?" I asked.

"I don't know. You'll have to call him and ask him yourself," Dean replied.

"The phone works both ways, you know. He could call me," I said for the second time.

Dean groaned and I know he was running his hand over his face and back through his hair.

"Maybe I just need to lock the two of you in a room until you can get along. It worked once before," Dean said.

"Alright, I don't think that's necessary. Moving on," I argued, rolling my eyes.

I remembered what he was talking about. It basically boiled down to me being an annoying kid and Sam being an annoying teenager who had spent way too long in the back seat of the Impala together. Dean locked us in the motel bathroom for hours until we finally were getting along again. Dean had never been fond of listening to us bicker.

"What's the plan for tonight? Studying and going to bed early?" he asked.

"You wish. I'm hanging out with Jack and Mackenzie."

"Are you ever not with them?" Dean asked.

"Rarely. They're my friends, Dean. Friends hang out. You'd know if you had any. What are you and Sam up to?"

"Recon at some Twihard bar," he answered and I laughed.

"Well, you pretty boys should fit right in," I chimed.

"Shut it."

"One last question, Dean and it's essential to our relationship. Are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?"

I barely got the words out before I started giggling.

"I'm Team your ass is grounded," Dean gruffly answered.

"Well on that note, I'm gonna go. Can you tell Sam I said hi?"

"Yeah, kiddo, but next time you want to say hello, just give him a call. Be good."

* * *

I met up with Mackenzie at her house a little after four o'clock. We had been hanging out a lot, just the two of us. Jack had gotten a part time job tutoring some kid in physics for the SAT and Charlie had football practice everyday. Jack's job was only a few hours on Tuesdays and Fridays, but it did give Mackenzie and me a chance to hang out without Jack and Charlie which had been good for us. It had been good for me to have a female friend to talk with who wasn't my brother's girlfriend.

"So when are you and Jack going to become official?" she asked, her back turned to me as she checked on the cupcakes in the oven. Mackenzie was a really good baker and very insistent that I could be one too if I put my mind to it. The only problem was the fact that baking was so precise. I hated the fact that one little differentiation from the recipe usually ruined things. I preferred to improvise.

"Excuse me?" I asked, nearly choking on the water in my mouth.

"The sexual tension when you two are together...You could cut it with a knife. You know Charlie and I used to be like that during our honeymoon phase," she said, turning to me, her hands spread apart on the counter as she leaned into them. She raised an eyebrow waiting for my answer.

"I repeat. Excuse me?"

I stared at her like she was crazy though I had to force it. I was shocked but only because I never expected to be having this conversation with Mackenzie. Plus, Jack and I weren't _in_ a honeymoon phase, our whole relationship _was_ a honeymoon phase because by not dating we missed out on all the crap that ended honeymoon phases.

"I didn't want to say anything because I wanted to wait for you two to figure it out yourselves, but this is getting ridiculous. I can tell you two just want to be alone whenever you're together. Like Charlie and I don't even exist."

"Mac, that is not true."

"It is and it's fine. Jack is my twin, so I know that he likes you. I can feel it. Like twin telepathy or something and he talks about you all the time. You guys are so cute; it's like puppy love."

Puppy love? I think it was beyond that and I struggled to keep my mind from wandering to memories of steamy make out session, of our hands venturing over one another's bodies with such a primal electricity. Jack and I were beyond the "puppy" stage. We were a full grown, aggressive German shepherd and it was definitely not love, lust maybe. If anything, it was shepherd lust.

"Definitely not," I answered.

"I know he likes you and you like him too. He's so different with you than he has been with girls in the past. And you know you and I, we're friends, Nora. We can talk about this stuff. Even if he is my brother."

Mackenzie was practically begging for me to spill my guts to her.

"Telling my devil sister all my deepest secrets, Zeena?"

Jack had popped in, seemingly out of nowhere. He did that a lot, especially at his house. The building was only a few years old, so it didn't come with the charm of noisy stairs and creaky doors which usually gave people's locations away.

"I said you are not allowed to call me that!" I grumbled, pushing his shoulder as he came to stand beside me

"Well, what can I say? You remind me of her," he answered, leaning across me to take a chip from the bag that Mackenzie had opened.

I quietly growled at him, not giving him the satisfaction a comeback. His newest nickname was from the book _Ethan Frome_ , which I was reading and completely despising for my English class. Of course he had to choose to nickname me after the most annoying character of all time after one of my lunch period rants about the most recent chapter I had finished.

"Well, I'm going upstairs for a few minutes. You two can make out or whatever it is you do when you're alone," Mackenzie said to us in a sing-song voice as she floated out of the kitchen.

My jaw dropped when she said it, but Jack seemed relatively unphased by her as Mackenzie left the room.

"Well, better get to it then. She said we have only a few minutes," Jack said, leaning closer to me, but I pushed him away before he could kiss me.

"Did you not just hear her? Am I in some alternate universe where suddenly neither of us cares that your sister knows-," I started in my "rambling voice." Jack stopped me before I got too far along.

"She's been onto us for a while, Nora. This is just the first time she's brought it up to you. Mac is far from stupid and like I'm sure she mentioned, it's obvious that you're completely obsessed with me."

"Oh shut up," I answered, "You're Ethan. I'm Mattie. You're the one who's obsessed with me."

"Actually, I think you're nickname is Zeena, which would lead us to believe that I'm repulsed by you, turned off completely."

"Good, get away from me then if I turn you off so much," I answered, getting off my chair and going around the island to check the cupcakes in the oven.

"Let me take you out on a date tonight. That'll really drive Mackenzie wild," he said.

I turned and looked at him, trying to garner some type of emotion from his face to tell if he was serious. He was smiling, but I couldn't read him.

"You're joking."

"I don't know why you would say that. It's about time we stop pretending there's nothing going on here."

I tried not to smile, but I could feel the corners of my mouth begging to move upwards.

"So, what do you say, Nora Winchester? You want to go on a date with me?" he continued when I didn't object.

"Fine, Jack, if you're so _desperate_ , I'll go on a date with you," I answered, bringing a smile to Jack's face.

"I'm desperate for something," he answered and I let out a laugh.

"You'll have to take me out for dinner first," I said.

"Deal."

"Come on, you can borrow my clothes," Mackenzie said as she came out from the hallway with an eagerness I hadn't seen since she dressed me up to go to the Homecoming Dance. I wondered how much of our conversation she had listened to, feeling heat in my cheeks when I thought about it. I groaned, but she pulled me along to her room.

"I'll pick you up at 6," Jack called from where he stood laughing in the kitchen as Mackenzie and I headed up the stairs.

It was after almost two hours alone in a room with Mackenzie that she deemed me acceptable to go out on a date, even if it was just with her brother, who had literally seen me at my worst, hungover in sweatpants after one of are more crazy nights in at the Morgan household.

"You look hot," she said, turning me to face the mirror.

She was kind of right. Usually, I was more of a jeans or a casual dress with a cardigan girl, but wearing Mackenzie's clothes, I felt like a different person. She had decided on a tight mini skirt, black with gold embellished stripes and a black shirt.

"I look like a hooker."

"A hot, classy hooker," she justified.

I rolled my eyes. She held up a pair of heels and I refused.

"Nope, boots please," I said, pointing to the black booties on the floor of her closet, "And I want tights. You have black ones?"

"Fine Grandma! You don't need them though. Your legs look great."

"Thanks, but I'm not concerned with how they look. It's cold outside," I answered.

She handed me the boots and tights. I pulled them on and stood in front of the mirror again just as there was a light knock on the door.

"Come in! She's ready," Mackenzie shouted.

Jack stood in the doorway, staring at me.

"You're supposed to make me wait and then I'm supposed to get a threatening 'if you hurt her, I'll kill you' talk." Jack whined, "That's what happens in the movies."

"Well, consider yourself lucky my brothers are in Illinois so they will not be killing you tonight. Let's go before Tyra Banks here decides to change my outfit again."

"Sure thing, Twiggy. We've got a reservation anyway."

I scowled at him. It was someplace between entertaining, mind-blowing and annoying that he had a nickname stowed and ready for just about every reference whether it be sports, literature, or pop culture.

"You ever think I like hearing my own name from time to time?"

"Alright, Nora, let's get going then," he answered.

"We don't really have reservations, right?" I asked once we were settled in the car.

"Of course we do- Chez Chipotle, we have a table in the park by the lake," he answered.

I smiled. The first time we hung out, he took me to Chipotle a few towns over. I had never been and it completely blew me mind. These days, I was a burrito bowl junkie.

"And then there's open mic night at the Rug Room. I won't have you home by curfew, kid."

"That nickname is completely off limits," I answered.

"Why?"

"Because my brothers call me that. I don't want to think about them when I'm with you."

"Alright, Eleanora it is then," he said, pronouncing it like I was some foreign queen with an air of royalty.

I gave him a look.

"I usually only get called that when I'm in trouble."

"Well, I'm always in trouble when I'm with you," he answered, looking to me for a reaction.

"You know, Jack, you're so lame it's almost smooth," I said with a smile.

"You're the one who agreed to go on a date with me."

I wasn't surprised that the dinner and the show were easy and pleasant. We didn't have to impress each other. He didn't care that I ate my whole burrito bowl. I didn't care that he didn't pay for my meal. Jack and I had been doing this type of stuff for months, just without a label, without it being a date.

"Why the sudden change of heart?" I asked when he walked me to the front door after we got sick of open mic night and I started to get tired.

"It wasn't sudden, Nora. I was waiting until you were ready," he answered, "You didn't seem settled before. When I first met you you didn't even want friends. You only talked to us for Ben's sake. You made that pretty clear."

"I don't like to get settled. I've never been in the same place very long."

"Well, I hope you stick around here for a while."

I didn't answer, but instead pulled him in for a kiss. I was still torn on the subject of getting settled here, though it was the closest to settled that I had been in my entire life. In my bag, I heard my cell phone ringing and made a conscious decision to let it go. I let the call go to voicemail as Jack kissed me deeply as he led me back to the banister, where he effortlessly lifted me so I was sitting on it. The phone rang again and Jack pulled away.

"It's probably your brother."

"I don't care right now. I'll call him later."

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him in again.

"Nora."

I nearly fell at hearing his voice, but Jack pulled me into him. I jumped down and turned quickly so my back was against Jack and I faced out at the yard.

"What? Why? What are you doing here Dean?" I stuttered as I grasped in my mind for any reason at why he would be here right now.

He looked distracted and ignored my question.

"You should get out of here, Don Juan. My restraint is not at its best right now," he said to Jack.

Jack looked between Dean and me, "I'll be fine. I'll call you."

He nodded and took leave, heading back to the car and backing out the driveway.

"I thought you weren't coming home for a few more days," I said, treading lightly.

"Well, that obviously got moved up a bit."

"So, I assume I'm in trouble then?" I said, looking at my feet instead of my brother.

"I don't have time for that now. I came to say goodbye, Nora."

"What are you talking about, Dean? You just saw Jack and I making out and you don't have time for it? What is going on?"

I took a step towards him and narrowed my eyes to focus better. He was squinting at me from his spot on the grass, his body turned away from me at an angle like he was ready to run at the drop of a hat.

"Stay on the porch," Dean said.

"No, Dean, tell me what's going on!" I said, ignoring him and stepping down onto the grass.

"Sonofabitch! Nora, I told you to stay on the damn porch! Why can't you do as you're told just this once?" Dean snapped.

I took two quick steps backwards and he ran his hands over his face. He was frustrated.

"I didn't come here to yell at you. You know I love you, kid. You can be a real pain, but I never loved anyone more than you. You and Sammy. You know that, right?"

"Dean, please just tell me what's going on," I begged.

"I gotta go, kiddo. You be good."

It was like I blinked and when I opened my eyes Dean was gone. I rushed inside and couldn't stop the phrase _what the hell is going on?_ from running through my head on repeat. From the front door, I could hear Lisa and Ben talking and I saw that the light was on in her bedroom as I came up the stairs.

"Lisa? Ben?" I said coming to stand in her doorway. They both looked up, but neither said a word.

"I just saw Dean outside. What's going on? Did you see him?" I pushed. Something clicked in Lisa's head and she nodded before speaking.

"Ben, let's get you back to bed. Nora, just wait here a second."

Lisa was obviously shaken, but her tone was all business. She guided an exhausted and confused looking Ben out of the room and down the hall. Lisa shut the door behind her when she came back, pulling her robe tight across her body as she sat beside me on her bed.

"What's going on, Lis?" I asked.

"I really wish I knew," she answered before explaining what had happened as best as she could. Lisa didn't have much information to share. After my own encounter with Dean, I could tell that there was something wrong with my brother. Lisa's details were so vague and disjointed that they didn't point to anything in particular. He would never hurt Ben. It just didn't make sense. But there was no way I was going to just sit tight and wait to be informed.

"I'll call Sam," I said, "He'll know what's going on."

She nodded in approval. Lisa didn't love Sam and that much I knew. She never said it, but there was something in the way that she interacted with him that had seemed forced, but right now he was our chance at information.

"Lisa are you going to be okay?" I asked.

"He pushed Ben. He could have hurt him," was her answer.

"Dean didn't mean it, Lisa. He loves Ben like he's his own kid," I said.

"It doesn't matter. I can't put Ben in danger like that."

My heart sunk at her words because I knew what they meant. If she didn't want Ben in that kind of danger, that meant she didn't want Dean around and if she didn't want Dean around…

"I don't want you in that kind of danger either Nora. You and Ben are just kids. You shouldn't have to deal with it."

I exhaled. I had been dealing with this since I was born. I was just a little out of practice.

"I have to call Sam," I said, unable to come up with anything else to say.

She nodded and I left the room, heading back to my own. I dialed Sam's cellphone, but after two rings it went to voicemail.

"Sam- kind of an emergency here. Dean was just here being all weird and then he just vanished. He said he was here to say goodbye. So, yeah, can you call me back? And stop ignoring my calls. It's kind of obvious when it rings twice and then-."

I was cut off by his voicemail, but decided that the message was sufficient. Sam would get the point. After checking to make sure my phone ringer was on the highest volume, I tossed it on my bed. I sat down at my laptop, looking up the fastest way that I could get to the motel listed first in the phone book for Limestone, Illinois. I was disappointed, but not overly surprised to find that I would have to take a taxi to Indianapolis, then get on a train, then switch to another connecting train, then take a bus, and then probably another taxi all costing around $300 in total. I bought the tickets that I could online, using the emergency credit card Dean left in his desk downstairs and taking his emergency stash of cash as well. I packed a few things in a bag and wrote a note for Lisa, leaving it on the floor outside her bedroom door.

When I pushed Ben's door open, I found that he was sleeping peacefully, no look of worry or fear on his face like earlier. I sat down beside him and nudged his shoulder until his eyes opened. He squinted at me, adjusting to the darkness.

"Nora?" he said.

"I'm leaving Ben."

"What?"

"I'm going to find Dean and Sam. I left your mom a note, but I wanted to say goodbye to you. I don't know when I'll see you again."

"Nora-," he started.

"Ben, don't. I've got a taxi coming, so I've got to be quick. You're like a little brother to me, Ben, and I wanted to make sure you know that I love you."

"I love you too," he answered.

"Go back to sleep, ok? And don't tell your Mom that I came in to say goodbye. I need a few hours start before someone starts looking. Call me if you need me."

Ben nodded and I pulled him into a quick hug before getting up and heading down the stairs and out the door as quietly as I could. I made my way towards the taxi sitting out front and slid into the backseat with my backpack and duffel bag.

"Where are you headin' sweetheart?" the cab driver asked as he turned around in his seat to look at me.

"Indianapolis Amtrak Station."

"That's going to be a pretty steep fare, kid. You sure you want to do this now? Maybe running away-,"

It was just past four in the morning. I was exhausted. I was confused. I was far from sure about anything. My glare cut off his words.

"Just drive, please," I answered as I put in my headphones to avoid further conversation.


	14. Chapter 14

The train was practically deserted aside from a few sleeping passengers and for that I was thankful. Even if I knew exactly where I was going, even if I had planned my trip down to the minute, I still didn't feel one-hundred percent comfortable traveling by myself. Feeling comfortable, feeling safe, feeling calm - those were things for normal people to feel. I was raised to not trust that people were innately good (because they weren't), taught that there was more to be afraid of in the world than "bad" people (demons, vengeful spirits and vampires for example). Not to mention the fact that as a female, the media, schools and every protective instinct my brothers ever acted on taught to be fearful of men I didn't know, especially when traveling alone, especially because I was only sixteen, especially when no one who knew me would know I was on taking this train. No matter how strong I wanted to be, I couldn't stop the mild level of fear from running through my mind as the train headed towards our final destination where I knew I would have to navigate a city where I had never been by myself.

I was having trouble staying awake by the time the conductor announced that we were less than an hour from my stop, but I knew better than to let my guard down even if the train was deserted. I kept my eyes open and tried to be as alert as possible though the constant hum of the train was drawing me closer and closer to sleep. During the trip I had made attempts to call both brothers every so often hoping that I would get through to them instead of voicemail. They didn't answer and they didn't call back. My cell phone had remained silent throughout the night aside from an early morning call from Lisa which I ignored after the first ring and a text from Jack- _You forgot to call last night. Everything okay?-._ I sent him a quick reply explaining that I was fine but that I would be out of town with Dean and Sam for a while. I stowed my phone away and took out the directions I had printed at home, memorizing the rest of my trip, hoping that if I memorized my route I wouldn't have to pull the map out and I wouldn't have to ask anyone for directions. I had about forty-five minutes left on the train, then a thirty minute ride on the westbound 43 bus, followed by a 5 mile walk across town to the motel where I was pretty sure the boys would be holed up in some crappy room. Much of the trip I had spent preparing what I would say when I got there, how I would explain myself as quickly as possible before yelling ensued. I wasn't sure what exactly I would be walking in to, but I did know that unless things had gone off the deep end with Dean and Sam, they weren't going to be pleased to see me.

In the station before I transferred trains, I had called both brothers. When the boys hadn't picked up for the umpteenth time, I debated calling Bobby, but thought better of it being as it was so late (or early in the morning) and I hadn't wanted him to worry if he hadn't heard from the boys, if he hadn't even been aware of what was going on. Plus, he would tell me to go home, which would make my actions fall under the "disobeying a direct order" category and I was trying to steer clear of that if possible. I knew I was crossing enough lines as it was. Still, all of that happened almost an hour ago, which meant Sam and Dean were just about due for another call.

When the train finally pulled into the station, I took my time gathering my things and waited until the car was empty, decreasing the likelihood of someone following me. I was glad that the sun was finally coming up which made me feel a bit safer as the final leg of the journey after the bus would be walking. After I got off the bus, it took me about an hour and a half to walk to the motel and I regretted bringing so much stuff with me as my shoulders started to ache and the duffel bag repeatedly crashed into my leg, but I didn't know when the next time that I would be home was going to be. I stood outside room 001 of the motel cleverly named "The Motel" and took a moment to gather myself before lifting my hand to knock on the door. I could hear movement and muffled pieces of conversation from within the room. My knuckle halfheartedly rapped on the door in front of me as I kept my right hand poised to grab the knife from my back pocket if I needed to. There were three quick steps, a pause and then the door was flung open, revealing Sam in the middle of saying,

"What the hell are you doing here?"

He stared down at me, confusion clear on his face, his large frame obstructing my entry through the doorway.

"Hey Sammy, glad to see you're still breathing," I said as my lips formed a straight line across my face.

I pushed past him, wedging between his side and the door frame and taking a few steps into the room before I felt a hand on my shoulder as Sam turned me towards him. I shrugged his hand off my shoulder and dropped my bags to the floor.

"Nora-," he started but I interrupted him.

"No, Sam. I need my answers first. What the hell happened last night? I tried to call-" I began.

"That's awfully brave of you to talk like that after you show up unannounced 200 miles away from home. You can ask your questions after you tell me what the hell you're doing here."

Sam could be very casually intimidating when he wanted to be. It had always been a fairly natural talent though he didn't usually like to do it because it involved being a bit of a jerk. It was in the way he stood, the way he raised his voice to a decibel slightly higher than mine, an attitude that dared me to cross him, an effortless 'bitch face' expression. It didn't seem to bother him today though. Within a few seconds, his patronizing tone had succeeded in shaking my resolve as he stood staring down at me with his hands on his hips as if to say _I'm waiting..._ I closed my eyes and took a breath to gather myself before I spoke again.

"Well, maybe if you called me back, you would already know why I'm here, but you didn't so just answer my question, Sam. There was something wrong with Dean-," I started.

"Who is it, Sammy?" Dean called, interrupting us.

I turned towards the sound of his voice, muffled by the bathroom door that separated us.

"Our sister," Sam answered, raising his eyebrows at me a slight smirk playing across his lips, "You should have just answered my question, Nora. Could have played this whole thing out a little differently."

"Son of a bitch!" Dean's voice came from the bathroom and I gulped, my bravery in quick secession at hearing Dean's favorite phrase for when shit was hitting the fan. I heard water run from the faucet and I found myself focused on the bathroom door, waiting for it to open and for my brother to come barreling out of it. Dean's eyes found mine right away as he walked out, the door hitting the wall a little harder than he intended as he pulled it open.

"What are in the world do you think you're doing here little girl?" Dean asked practically growling the words out towards the end as he came to stand in front of me.

"I've asked her that about four times already. Haven't gotten much aside from a few smart ass remarks so good luck," Sam said, patting Dean on the shoulder. Dean turned his attention from Sam and back to me as Sam finished speaking.

"You've got about two seconds to start talking before-," Dean said, wagging a finger at me.

"I had to come," was all that came to my mind and I spurted it out, cutting him off before he finished whatever threat he was about to initiate. All that preparation I had worked through on the train was worthless to me now. All of my thorough, but efficient explanations lost when my brothers were standing in front of me, their faces laced with annoyance.

"You want to expand on that a little?" Sam asked.

"Does Lisa know you're here? You didn't just up and run off on her in the middle of the night, right?" Dean asked.

I didn't know which of my brothers to answer first because their questions came out almost simultaneously, but Dean was older and looked angrier so I went with him.

"I left her a note," I answered, ignoring the rest of his question and moved on to answering Sam though I maintained eye contact with Dean, "I had no choice but to just come here because _someone_ wouldn't answer his phone or call me back," I said glaring at Sam, "I left multiple messages. I left them for you too, Dean."

"I never should have gone there last night. You shouldn't be here, Nora," Dean said, running his hand over his face and groaning.

"I don't care. I was worried and you two weren't taking my calls. That's usually not a very good sign," I said.

"Well, we were a little busy last night," Sam answered.

"You were busy? _Busy?_ You both look showered, well rested, well fed. You couldn't have just called me back? I was worried!" I screeched at him.

"Worrying is a sign of weakness. We don't have time for this melodrama right now. How did you even get here, Nora?" Sam said, skating over most of what I said like it meant nothing.

"For all I knew something could have killed the two of you and you're saying we don't have time to talk about it?" I glared at Sam, crossing my arms across my chest.

"Yeah, there's a whole world of supernatural creatures to kill. Sifting through your ever-changing emotions aren't at the top of my to do list."

"Enough already! Nora- find a seat and get comfortable," Dean said, "I'd like to know the get to the bottom of this too, so cut the attitude and answer the question. How the hell did you get here?"

I sat in the nearest chair, but was by no means getting comfortable.

"Taxi-Train-Train-Bus-Walk."

"Jesus, Nora. What the hell were you thinking?" Dean said. He was pacing back and forth in front of me. I knew the idea of me alone on red eye public transit wasn't something that he would be particularly happy with.

Sam nodded at me like he was impressed and the faintest intrigued, "Huh" escaped his lips. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Sam sit, his arms crossed as he watched Dean and I.

"That wasn't safe, Nora," Dean said, shooting a glare at Sam urging him not to encourage me, "And it's not safe for you to be here either right now."

"It looks safe enough to me. The room's a little dingier than most, but well, I couldn't exactly stay there after what happened and with not knowing if you were okay. You can't just say those things and disappear on me. What did you expect?"

Dean looked thoughtful and I knew some part of what I said had resonated with him and for a brief moment my brother looked guilty. He pulled himself together quickly almost like it never happened and when Dean looked at me, his expression was closer to neutral again.

"I expected you to stay put. We've talked about this," he said, "We talked about it barely a month ago, Nora. We talked about it extensively. You assured me that you learned your lesson."

"Dean, this is different and you know it! You cryptically told me you were there to say goodbye and left and here you are looking fine. You both look fine, but no one thought 'Hey, let's return Nora's 50 calls. She's probably freaking the hell out.' What was wrong with you last night? I don't even understand how you-."

"I was a turned into a vampire, but that's not the problem at hand right now Nora. The problem is that you thought it was okay to hop on a train and come here without telling anyone. What if something happened to you? I'm not even talking supernatural here. You're sixteen."

"You were a vampire? That's why you wouldn't let me near you?" I pressed, trying to steer the conversation back.

"That's not what we're talking about right now! You can't just run away like this. What are we supposed that will make you just do as your told? I'm really running out of options here and I'm getting sick of this, Nora."

"You don't need to do anything because I wasn't running away and I didn't do anything wrong, Dean! I was coming to you because something was off and I could sense that. And because I couldn't stay there. It was- I couldn't- Just, have you even talked Lisa since last night?" I asked, placing my fidgeting hands on the arms of the chair and looking up to him.

"No, I haven't," he said quietly, subconsciously moving his hand to the phone in his pocket. I questioned whether or not Lisa would even take his calls. I didn't have the heart to tell him what Lisa had said even if it would likely end the necessity of this conversation. Some piece of me was holding onto a sliver of hope that she would somehow find it in her to change her mind, that time would soften the edges of what had happened. But in truth, I had the distinct feeling that our life with Ben and Lisa was over. Even if after my vanishing stunt, she said that I was still welcome to stay, I would never agree to the conditions of it. I couldn't live with no connection to a life without supernatural, which boiled down to life without my brothers.

"Well, once you talk to her you'll understand why I really had no choice here," I answered sadly.

"No, I won't understand, Nora. You're safest at home. You can't be wandering around the country by yourself. You're still just a kid..."

"I'm not stupid. I knew exactly where I was going. I had my knife with me. I'm a Winchester and I'm not just some damn little kid anymore, Dean."

Sam scoffed.

"Being a Winchester doesn't mean a goddamn thing except that we were raised like soldiers and that there are more people dead than alive in our family tree. And from where I'm standing, a naive, trusting little kid is exactly what you are, Nora. The fact that you just used our last name as reasoning... I don't mean that you couldn't be good at this someday, but right now you're just not," Sam said. He had been quiet for so long that I had almost forgotten he was there and his monologue made me wish he wasn't.

It took me a moment to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat at his overly blunt and slightly hurtful words.

"Well, that doesn't mean I'm incompetent, Sam. You two taught me how to protect myself well enough. I knew what I was doing."

"And what if things weren't safe here with us? What if you got here and I was sucking the life out of Sam? What exactly were you planning to do then?" Dean asked. I wished he would just sit down, but I could tell he was still too worked up so he continued to pace, his hands shoved deep in his pockets one moment and animating his words the next.

"I would have figured something out, but that didn't happen so it doesn't matter, Dean," I answered throwing my hands in the air.

Dean and Sam had always been my safe space. Even when they were in the middle of a ridiculous, dangerous case, even when Sam had been Lucifer's meat suit or we were dealing with someone being possessed by a demon, or a shifter taking their form. Whatever came at us, I was still safer with them than without them.

"I was a vampire Nora."

"You wouldn't kill me. You wouldn't kill Sam. Even if you were a vampire when I got here, it wouldn't matter. It's never mattered."

"How would it not matter?"

"It's a little naive, but I think she's trying to say that when it comes down to it, she's always been safest with us, Dean," Sam said, "And she's probably right."

"No Sam, no, she's not. Not right now she's not," Dean rambled, "The faith you have in us is stupid, Nora. You can't blindly trust anyone that much. Sam's right- it's just naive."

Sam gave Dean a confused glance and as I thought about Dean's words.

"Well I trust you. We're family and we're all that we've got. We have to stick together no matter what," I said.

"She's got a point, Dean."

"Sam, shut it. You're going home, Nora. As soon as I talk to Lisa I'm taking you back home and I need you to stay there this time. No running off to Bobby's, no running off to us. You stay put."

"No, Dean, I'm not going to stay put! You can't do this to me anymore."

"I don't want you near this stuff, Nora. You're out. You're staying out and I'm not going to argue about it with you anymore. I can do this to you because all I'm doing is protecting you and that's my job."

"Dean, I grew up with this stuff. I appreciate you trying to do whatever noble thing it is you think you're doing by keeping me away, but just stop. Our "normal" lives are over. They were over the second Sammy came back and you know it. This is my destiny just as much as it is yours."

Dean's hand slammed against the wall partition between the bedroom area and the kitchen.

"Goddamn it, Nora! I don't want to hear that word! It's a load of bull and you know it! You're going home and that's the end of this goddamn discussion!"

Dean was yelling at me and I couldn't help but feel my eyes start to get wet as I looked at him. He was so mad, so hurt, so many emotions being shoved down further and further from the surface though they were written all over his face in that moment as he stared down at me. Then there was another flash of guilt before he washed it away and I couldn't stand him feeling guilty. This wasn't his fault.

"Fine. I'm sorry, really. I didn't come here to argue with you, Dean," I offered quietly.

"Good," he answered with a deep gruffness in his voice.

"I came to make sure that you guys were okay, both of you. I'm sorry if you guys don't think that was the right thing to do, but you would have done the same for me. You would have done it too, right Sammy?" I asked, looking to him for support.

"Yeah, of course," he answered, looking at Dean, "It's what we do."

"See, I'm just doing what you guys taught me to do. I didn't mean to piss you off like this. I was just trying to do what you would have done."

Dean's face softened, "Come here," he said, opening his arms to me. I pulled myself out of the chair and let him envelope me in his arms which was what I had really wanted from the time I saw him come through the bathroom door.

"I have to protect you, kiddo. It's different," he said.

"I was trying to protect you," I answered, "That's not just your job. Sam and I have protective instincts, too."

I felt Dean stiffen.

"Well, I'm sorry, kid, but you're not getting sucked back into this. It's not happening."

He still held me in his arms and Sam cleared his throat. Dean and I looked at him.

"Well, Dean, sorry to undermine your plans here, but she's going to have to be sucked in for at least a couple of days. I think we've got another case – Camulet City, Illinois – 4 mysterious suicides over the last few weeks. We can drop her off with Lisa after."

"No, she's going home, Sam. I don't want her here for any longer than she needs to be," Dean argued letting me out of his grasp.

"Dean, she can sit in the motel room and stare at a wall for the next week for all I care, but there's no way we can just let this sit for the a couple of days. Four people are already dead and we're only an hour away right now."

"Fine," Dean answered and then he looked down at me, "You need sleep and food. Did you sleep at all last night?"

"I wasn't about to sleep on a train by myself. My brothers taught me better than that."

"That's a relief. At least something got through that thick skull of yours. Lay your ass down for a bit and get some rest. I'll go get us some breakfast. Sam, find out what you can about what's going on in Camulet City."

Dean was back in action and I was thankful that our discussion was over. I had come out of it mostly unscathed.

"Dean, I'll come with-," I started.

"Here's a refresher on road rule #1 for ya. There will be no backtalk from the kid, got it?"

I opened my mouth to argue.

"You do not want to test me right now Nora because believe me, I would have no problem with dropping Sam off to start on the case and taking your butt back home pronto. Better yet, how about having Sammy research a nice, strict military school we could send you to. Neither of those sounds good to you?" He asked noticing the look on my face, "Great. All settled then. No talking back. No questioning authority. You do as you're told and you do it respectfully, got it?"

"Yes sir," I mumbled.

"I want you in that bed with your eyes closed the whole time I'm gone. Sam has work to do and you need to get some rest so you're not miserable for the rest of the day, understood?"

I nodded as Dean grabbed his coat and left, shutting the door behind him. I knew he was going to call Lisa and needed privacy. That's the real reason why I couldn't come. And the way he said it felt a little bit like he was punishing me. If this was all I was getting for making this little trip alone and unannounced, I wasn't really in a position to question it. He wasn't happy about me coming all the way here by myself, but he couldn't fault me for the reasoning and I could tell he blamed himself almost as much as he blamed me. I pushed my shoes off and climbed into the bed furthest from the door, making a half-genuine attempt to fall asleep. I knew on some level that I was beyond exhausted but I couldn't drift off. I let my mind wander, thinking about Jack and our date. It had been less than twelve hours ago that he brought me home but it felt like days ago by now. I was surprised that Dean hadn't brought it up, surprised that Sam didn't bring it up. It was the type of information that they would typically share, but like Dean had said regarding the situation last night, he probably didn't have time to deal with it.

Still, I knew the conversation would come eventually and I would need Sam on my side when it did happen. Sam had always been more understanding and though still protective, much more reasonable when it came to the subject of boys. He was typically the one I came to with any questions because he didn't bite my head off.

"Sam?" I asked after ten minutes spent staring at the ceiling, working up the courage to talk to my brother.

"Yeah?" he asked.

I turned on my side so I could see him but Sam kept his eyes on whatever he was reading on the screen.

"How did Dean get changed?" I asked, "Were you there when it happened?"

"I couldn't get to him fast enough. It all happened kind of fast," he answered plainly, typing away on the keyboard.

I nodded, contemplating what he said. It must have been killing him knowing that he let Dean get hurt, but if he was bothered, it wasn't clear by his expression.

"Are you doing okay with everything that happened? I couldn't imagine watching it happen and not being able to stop it."

"I'm fine," he answered.

"You can talk to me about it if you need someone to talk to. You don't have to pretend with me."

"Dean won't be happy if you're not sleeping when he gets back. You got off easy. I wouldn't push it with him," was all Sam said in response. He still hadn't looked up and I watched him work, searching for some expression that would give way to how my brother was really feeling.

"Ok, well here goes then...Sam, if we're going to be on the road for a bit I just want you to know that I'm not mad at you or anything. I was, but I'm not anymore."

It was the truth and I knew it was about time I said it to him, about time we cleared the air.

"Ok, Nora," he said, "I wasn't worried about it, but thanks."

"Are you mad at me?" I asked.

"No, I'm not mad at you, Nora," Sam responded.

It bothered me that we had had this whole conversation without him looking at me even once.

"Ok, because I know I haven't exactly been going easy on you since you got back and Dean said that's probably why we haven't been getting along so well lately and if you were mad at me about that, it wouldn't not make sense," I answered.

"Nora?" Sam finally looked at me for the first time in our conversation, which made me hopeful.

"Yeah, Sam?"

"Go to sleep."

* * *

I woke up a few hours later and the boys were sitting at the table talking through the next case. It took me a moment to register where I was, to remember that I had come all the way there from home in the middle of the night, to remember how lucky I was that my brother's didn't just kill me the minute I stepped through the door, to remember that Dean was supposed to pick up breakfast for me.

"How do you feel?" Dean asked as I stood up, stretching to alleviate the stiffness in my body, my stomach growling as I moved.

"Famished. And I feel like I shouldn't have slept at all. It only made me feel worse."

It was typical for me to feel this way after only getting a few hours of rest after an all-nighter, kind of like I got hit by a bus and every part of my body was just heavy. I just hadn't experienced it in a while and it was a natural consequence for my actions if I had ever seen one, kind of like a hangover minus the alcohol.

"Well, that's what you get," Dean answered. He handed me a cup of coffee. I took a sip only to find it was cold.

"Room temp, just the way I like it. What did you get me for breakfast?" I asked.

"There's an egg sandwich in the fridge. I'd be careful about that microwave. It's even sketchy by our standards," Dean said.

"Hurry up and get ready to head out though; we check out in fifteen minutes," Sam added.

I pulled the egg sandwich out of the fridge and took a bite.

"It tastes fine cold. I'm ready. Let's go."

"Good, that means we've got a little over an hour's ride to talk about why you were dressed like you were while making out with Jack Morgan on the front porch last night."

I froze mid bite, looking up to Sam and Dean. Sam looked surprised by what Dean said and I swallowed hard.

"Well this should be interesting," Sam commented, closing his laptop and resting his hands on top of it.

"I really think it'd be better if I used the drive time to get a little more rest. That way I can help you guys with the research."

"Yeah, I don't think so. You need to get back on a regular sleep schedule so I hope you enjoyed that nap because that's it for the day," Dean answered.

I was quiet for as long as possible after getting in the Impala. Dean had insisted that I take the front seat, much to Sam's chagrin. After we pulled onto the highway, I leaned over to turn up a CCR song, but Dean shooed my hand away, turning the music off completely before turning his gaze to me.

"You should keep your eyes on the road," I said.

"You should start talking," he retorted.

"I knew there was something going on between you and that kid," Sam said from the back seat, "Tells don't lie."

"Shut it, Sammy," I answered, pulling my hands apart to sit on either side of my legs so I couldn't play with my mother's ring on my finger.

"You don't get to tell him to shut it. You've been dating this kid for how many months and lying about it. You get to answer our questions and hope your answers don't make us so mad that we never let you outside again."

"We weren't dating and I didn't lie about it!" I protested.

"Well it certainly didn't look like a first date that you were on. He was eating your face," Dean answered.

"It was our first date, Dean. I swear. That's why I didn't tell you. We weren't dating. It was just a date. Singular. One time. Not regularly dating."

"No respectable man would kiss a girl like that on her first date. There was no way in hell that was a first kiss," he argued.

"So what? I have seen you kiss so many girls like that without even taking them on a date first, both of you! Maybe I'm just a natural at it. You don't know anything."

"Well, you're sixteen. You're just a little girl, a baby in the scheme of things. I don't care if you've been dating for years. I don't want anyone kissing my baby sister like that."

"I'm not a baby. And that's not even the first time I kissed a boy, let alone the first time I kissed Jack!"

Sam gave me a surprised look, not because he didn't know. I knew Sam suspected that of me, but he was surprised that I shared that information with Dean so willingly.

"What do you mean it wasn't your first kiss?" Dean roared beside me.

"You know, Nora, kissing like that leads to sex. I hope you're being safe. Any guy that has any brains in his head would rather kill himself than have a kid to saddle you down at your age," Sam said.

"Sam, you're not helping and I am not having sex. We don't need to bring that into this conversation."

"Well, maybe it's time we make it part of the conversation," Dean answered and I cringed at the thought.

"It's not. I'm not having this conversation with you two," I answered.

"If I say we are, then we most certainly are. Who the hell are you going to talk to about it if not us?"

He had a point. I wasn't going to talk with Mackenzie about sex with her brother. Lisa would have been my first choice, but she didn't seem to be a very viable option anymore.

"I'm going to have to remove myself from partaking in that conversation," Sam said.

I was grateful when we pulled into the parking lot of a motel shortly after coming within the limits of Camulet City, meaning at least temporarily, this conversation was over.

"Is this conversation over?" I asked for confirmation once Dean placed the car in park.

"For now. Sam, go grab us a room."

Sam headed for the main office and I moved to take my seat belt off. Dean turned in his seat to face me, "Sit tight."

"Dean...You said this conversation was over," I complained.

"I don't like the idea of you dating."

He frowned. I knew he still thought of me as a kid, of the little girl that he had been taking care of for years now.

"Well, I don't think it's going to be a problem, Dean."

"Why is that? Did he hurt you? This is exactly why I don't want you-."

"No, Dean, he didn't do anything," I answered, cutting him off, "Jack really is a nice guy. I just don't see this going anywhere considering all that's happened."

Dean didn't say anything for a moment.

"You'd talk to me about…If you had any questions about…If you needed to go to a _lady doctor_ or something…" The way he said the term "lady doctor" forced a small giggle from my lips. Then man had bought me my first tampons, but even the thought of girly medical related things made him squirm.

"Yeah, no. I definitely will not be telling you or Sam anything about that any of that. Ever. I know you're not hip with technology, but there's this little thing called google. If I have any questions, I'd rather talk to her. Dean, I'm not having sex. You can sleep soundly at night knowing that I'm still the virtuous little sister you love. Can we just not talk about this anymore?" I asked.

"As long as I don't see you dressed like that again any time soon, we'll put it on the back burner."

"You know, Jack thought I looked hot," I teased.

"You shouldn't joke. I see no problem with locking you in Bobby's bunker until you're thirty. You can even do college online from there. We'll get Bobby to hook up the wifi. Really make something of yourself," he threatened, a slight small playing on his lips as I punched him in the arm.


	15. Chapter 15

It only took one trip for us to get all of our stuff in the room and once we did, I flopped down on the bed and crawled my way up to the pillows. Sam tossed a book down beside me on his way to the bathroom. I buried my face in the pillow in an attempt to make him think I didn't notice.

"Page 364, start reading for something that might be helpful here," he said pulling the pillow out from under me.

"Sam!" I groaned.

Despite my reluctance, I pulled the large volume closer with a lazy arm, turning over onto my stomach and getting comfortable. The boys were getting ready to head out to gather information. I had to admit I enjoyed watching my brothers get all dressed up. It tricked my mind into thinking they were Wall St bankers or lawyers and I liked the thought. I watched as the two of them stood in the mirror tying their ties.

"That tie looks like crap, Sam."

Sam looked down at the tie and smoothed it against his torso, "It's fine."

"No," Dean said, pointing to his own tie, "This looks fine. What do you just keep loosening it and tightening it over and over again?"

"Dude, it's fine. I can gank any supernatural being out there. So what if I can't tie a damn tie?"

I let out a chuckle, "Yeah, like you'd be any better."

"I can tie and tie, Sam. I'm not an idiot."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It didn't mean anything, Sammy."

"Alright, get over here big boy. Let me fix that mess."

A smile played on my face while I watched Dean fix Sam's try.

"Much better. At least now you don't look like you're going to your 8th grade dance," Dean commented, slapping Sam on the chest.

"When do I get to start helping with interviewing?" I asked, my legs crossed at the knee and bouncing back and forth as I looked back at the book.

"How about never?" Dean answered, looking up to me as he shoved his wallet in his back pocket..

"Ah, come on. You and Sammy started helping Dad when you were my age," I argued, sitting up.

"You look like you're twelve."

I glared at Sam, "You're almost 30 and you can't tie your own tie."

"You look like you're twelve," he repeated.

"I don't-,"

"You're wearing pigtails, Pippi," Sam answered, taking one of my braids between his fingers and tugging on it gently. I shooed his hand away.

"They're braids, Sammy. They keep my bangs out of my face. I can do yours for you if you'd like."

"Right. I think I'll pass, kid," Sam said with a laugh.

"How about you can start helping after you go to college?" Dean offered, interrupting Sam and I.

I scoffed and they both knew why – college wasn't exactly part of my five year plan. I had thought about it a few times during the last year and a half with Ben and Lisa, but that seemed like a distant memory now.

"Get to work, kid. We'll call if we have something specific for you to look up," Dean said as he ushered Sam towards the door.

"Fine," I grumbled, getting off the bed and bringing the book with me to the small table in the corner.

"Salt the windows and door. Lock up when we leave. Call us if you need anything."

"I know, Dean. It's not like I'm a virgin here," I answered with a huff.

The look on his face was not impressed, "You know that's not funny."

"Got you all worked up, didn't it?"

Dean shook his head at me, "Call me if you need anything."

I nodded and he was out the door.

* * *

"Wake up there, princess," Dean said, shaking my shoulder and setting a bag of food down in front of me. My watch told me it was a few hours later, but I didn't remember that much time passing by. I had fallen asleep at my spot on the table only four pages into the chapter Sam had asked me to skim for information. I rubbed my eyes and stretched my arms above my head.

"Huh?" I sat up, focusing on them as my mind caught up with the fact that my body was awake.

"So much for no more naps," Sam commented, sitting down across from me and pulling the book over, "You find anything in here?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, you know those first four pages told me everything we need to know. I'm like an expert or something."

"Have I ever told you how glad I am that we brought you along? You're really turning out to be a key player in solving this case."

I glared at him.

"Well, did you guys find anything?" I asked.

"Eat your lunch before it gets cold," Dean answered as he came out of the bathroom, changed out of his suit and an open beer already in his hand.

I scowled at his order. I was in the middle of something. I'd eat when I was ready, "It's probably already cold anyway seeing as the two ordered mine and then let mine sit while you ate."

He raised an eyebrow at me. I rolled my eyes in response and opened the bag, shoving a couple of fries in my mouth to please him, "So, you were about to tell me what you found," I prompted Sam.

"Pathetic Biggerson's waitress decided to off herself. Not really too interesting until we learn that big sis just couldn't stop herself from encouraging her sister to just get on with it and blow her brains out already."

I stared at him. The situation itself was a little shocking, but Sam's phrasing surprised me more.

"What?" he asked me, taking a fry from my make shift plate on top of the bag.

I looked at Dean and he shrugged his shoulders in response, taking a long drink from the bottle in his hand before answering Sam. One of us had to.

"Not exactly how I would have worded it for her, dude."

Sam shrugged, "The kid can handle it. She doesn't want to be naïve anymore, right Pippi?" he said, raising his eyebrows, a smirk on his face.

I didn't answer, but Sam didn't seem to notice or care as he moved onto the next thing.

"I'm going to ask around, see if anyone here at the motel knows anything about the case. Want to come with?" he asked turning to me, "Change into something nice and we'll pretend you're my annoying little intern. Most of the people staying here would probably be too drunk, drugged or stupid to notice you're just a kid. It'll be good practice."

It was the first real interest Sam had taken in me aside from yelling at me. I'd be lying if I said it didn't send pride flowing through me to hear that he wanted my help, but Dean spoke before I could.

"You go ahead, Sam. Nora's got to finish her lunch and she's half-grounded anyway."

"Since when?" I asked.

"Since I decided you were," he said, looking at me and then to Sam, "She's staying right here. You go ahead," Dean said, taking the seat beside me.

"Suit yourself, but she's got to learn some time," Sam answered.

"Well, today's not the day, chief," Dean responded, "She gotta finish that chapter you gave her anyway."

Sam shrugged and headed out the door, leaving Dean and I alone at the table.

"Are you okay?" I asked, "You're being weird."

"I'm fine," he answered.

"If I fed you that line, you'd keep at me until I told you the truth."

"You're probably right. It's a good thing that I'm the big brother and you're the little sister," he answered, draining the beer bottle in his hand.

"You know Sam's right. I will have to learn this stuff," I answered.

"Not today. You're half-grounded," he answered, a smile pulling at his lips.

"And what does that even mean?" I asked.

"It means that I went easy on you, considering. It means that you're one step away from being in real trouble so you better do what I tell you to or else."

"Ooh, he pulls out the 'or else'…Fine, I accept your conditions. Can I be done with this though?" I asked, pushing the book towards him, "I don't think it's going to help us. And I think I just need to go back to sleep for a few more hours."

"Uh-uh. You're not sleeping all day or you'll be up all night again, Nora."

"But I'm tired, De," I whined, "I'm so so tired. Everything hurts."

"Go take a shower then. That'll wake you up."

I rolled my eyes.

"That was an order, not a suggestion, Nora," he said, his voice firmer.

I pushed myself up out of my chair and headed towards the bathroom door, grabbing my bag along the way.

"Are you just telling me to shower so you can call Lisa?" I waited before going into the bathroom, watching him, waiting for some sort of response. Dean's shoulders heaved before he spoke, turning his head the side so he could see me.

"I'm telling you to go shower because it'll make you feel better and I don't want to listen to your whining, so get your butt moving."

I scrunched up my face at him in response, but closed the door and turned on the shower regardless. Dean was right about the shower making me feel better and I knew he would be. It had been a little over 24 hours since my last shower, but as with most things today, it felt like it had days since it last happened. Traveling was a dirty business and I had woken up hot and sweaty from two naps today. I turned the water up so hot that it hurt to stand underneath it, letting my back be sporadically pelted by the water shooting from the busted shower head. For the first time in a long time, I knew I wouldn't get yelled at for taking a long shower – we weren't paying for water or electricity and we weren't in any hurry to leave. Dean had made it pretty clear I wasn't going anywhere so I stood still and let the water run off my body and down the drain without a care.

After about a half an hour I turned off the shower and stepped out onto the small floor mat. I wrapped the thin motel towel around my body, shivering as the air touched my warmed skin. I hated getting dressed in the steamy, damp bathroom. I hated my clothes sticking to my still wet skin, but it was something I had been forced to do for most of my life so I was pretty used to it. After I got dressed, I used the towel to wipe off the mirror. I still looked exhausted with dark bags under my eyes and a vacant expression on my face, but at least I looked clean. At least I felt clean. When I stepped out into the room, Sam was back and he and Dean were in the middle of a conversation.

"What are you guys talking about?" I asked.

"New vic. Dentist drilled a guy to death," Sam said, eyebrows raising as he said it and I could tell he found the whole situation interesting or entertaining. Either way, it was not the typical response to hearing a dentist killed someone with their drill.

"And that's why I don't do dentists. Sounds bloody," I answered sitting down and drying my hair with the towel.

"Let's go talk to him," Sam said.

"I think I'm gonna stay here, make sure this one stays up...uh, help her get some research done," Dean answered.

"Dean Winchester wants to do research?" Sam asked, "Since when?"

"We need to know what we're up against and she's working on less than three hours of sleep. Someone's gotta do it," Dean offered.

Sam relented and headed out leaving Dean and I to sit in the motel room again. He held out the book that I had been reading before and I slid to the ground at the foot of the bed hoping that the uncomfortable floor would help me to stay awake past page four.

Nearly an hour later, Dean's phone rang while he was in the bathroom. Seeing it was Sam's name on the caller ID, I slid into Dean's chair at the open laptop and answered the phone.

"Hiya Sammy," I said, "What's up?"

"Our dentist friend hung himself."

"Oh shit," I said, feeling a hand smack into the back of my head.

"Ow, Dean! Unnecessary!" I pouted at him.

"Language unnecessary," he answered as I rubbed the back of my head. Dean took the phone and gave me a look before he started talking about the case with Sam. When he hung up, I was already opening the internet tab on Sam's laptop to begin the new search.

"What are we looking up…doppelgangers?" I said looking from the screen to Dean, "What has that got to do with the case?"

"Nothing, Nora. It's a personal interest," he answered.

"What is that like one of your weird fetishes or something? Like having sex with twins? You know one of the doppelgangers is usually evil."

"Makes the sex a little dangerous," he answered, reaching over and exiting from the window.

"You're gross."

"Moving on, you're researching truth curses. Anything you can find. I'll be back in a bit. I'm going over to the dentist office and Sam's heading to the morgue," he added, pulling on his jacket and making his way out of the room.

* * *

"Mythical horns. You know of any off the top of your...?" Dean asked as he came through the motel room door causing me to jump and turn down "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen, the song that I had been singing along to with reckless abandon as I read through a webpage about curses.

"You scared me! I didn't even know you were on your way back," I said, feeling my cheeks getting warm. I had sang in front of Dean on multiple occasions, but we were always acting like fools together.

"Please, don't let me stop you now, Mister Farenheit. Do continue," he said, chuckling to himself.

"It's a good song, Dean. You shouldn't mock me and that joke wasn't even funny. It was a lame-o dad joke. You're like a lame-o dad. You should get a minivan," I insisted.

"Alright, reign it in. I'm not mocking you. I nurtured your gift of musical expertise, but you can rock out later. Right now we need to find out all we can about this missing horn."

He passed along the picture and I got to work, finding a list of mythical musical instruments within minutes.

"Well, there's the Olivant. It's the horn of Roland- made of ivory, kills birds flying in the sky, causes armies to retreat," I offered, looking up from the screen to meet his eyes.

"Next."

"Ok...How about, now hear me out on this one...Don't shoot me down until I finish...Triton's magic conch shell! It's what he uses to call for an ocean-wide search when Ariel runs away from home, sells her voice to Ursula and runs off with a human man. Highly likely, right?"

"Very clever. Next."

"Alright, this one – Gabriel's Horn – it announces judgement day."

Dean stared at me for a second and I knew we found the most likely option.

"Cas, get your feathery butt down here. Angelic weapon on the loose. Your job."

Dean was pouring himself a drink when the angel appeared by my side. He gave a small sad smile as he looked down at me.

"I was not expecting you to be here, Eleanora."

"I could say the same to you, you damn feathery son of a bitch. Where the hell have you been? I've been calling you."

I cringed at the way Dean was talking to Castiel. Dean turned to me, "Go take a walk Nora."

"What? Why?" I asked.

He didn't answer, but turned to me with a glare.

"You might as well let her stay, Dean. Eleanora already knows about Sam," Castiel spoke softly.

Dean shifted his glare to Castiel and it was obvious that he had wanted me to stay out of the loop on that one. "God damn it, Cas!"

"That is what you called me about before. Is it not?" Cas replied.

"What exactly do I already know about Sam?" I asked cautiously.

Dean didn't answer so I looked to Cas.

"That he hasn't been himself," Castiel answered with a frown before turning back to Dean, "But unfortunate truth is that I haven't come when you've called about Sam because I have nothing to offer you."

"Well that's great, just freaking great. My brother is probably Lucifer's brown bag and you don't know anything about it. What the hell is the point of having an angel around then?"

There were many things I wanted to comment on, to question further, but I noticed the hurt look on Castiel's face and felt that took precedence.

"Dean, it's not Cas's fault," I said.

"Do not be concerned, Eleanora. Dean has every right to be upset. You both do. Your brother is not well, but I can assure you that he is not Lucifer. We would know if he was."

Castiel had taken the liquor bottle from Dean and was now pouring some in Dean's glass.

"Would you like some, Eleanora?" he asked, motioning towards me with the bottle.

"No Cas, my sixteen-year-old sister would not like some!" Dean spat although at hearing this conversation, I would not have said no to a little something to calm the nerves.

"Right. Of course. I believe whiskey is not her preference anyway."

Dean looked at me and I shrugged to him, hoping he would just chalk it up to Cas being weird and awkward and angelic and not push it. Dean turned his attention back to Cas and I started to wonder how in the world Castiel would have any idea of what type of alcohol I've consumed. It had only happened a handful of times anyway.

"So what is wrong with Sam then?" I asked.

"I don't know." Cas answered.

"Well, what's wrong with you then, Cas?" Dean asked, "This isn't you. You were human, close to one at least. This new you, I have to say I'm not a fan."

"Heaven is at war, Dean! I do not know what you expect of me...What was it that you believe you found? You mentioned an angelic weapon."

"Horn of Gabriel," I answered before Dean could say something sarcastic, handing him the photo, "It might be somewhere within town."

"We think its-," Dean was cut off by the disappearance of Cas, "Yeah, you're welcome Cas! Real nice," he added sarcastically.

"Dean, relax," I said.

"Do not tell me to-," Dean had started pouring himself another glass.

"It's not the horn."

Castiel had reappeared between the two of us, spooking Dean and me.

"How the hell? You were gone for like 2 seconds. Where did you look?" Dean asked.

"Everywhere, Dean. I looked everywhere," Castiel replied as if it was obvious.

"You know, that's great Well, it was _really_ nice seeing you Cas," Dean said.

"Dean!" I scolded.

"Shut your mouth, Nora."

"Dean, Eleanora, I want to do what I can about Sam. I'll make the necessary inquiries. Goodbye," Castiel frowned in Dean's direction. Dean had his back turned to both Cas and me. Cas squeezed my shoulder gently.

"Bye Cas," I offered as he disappeared.

Dean had already poured himself another drink and I knew that meant I should be careful about arguing with him but I couldn't let this go.

"Why are you being like that with Cas? It's not his fault and why the hell didn't you talk with me about all this Sam stuff?" I asked, taking the glass out of his hand. He looked at me like he was surprised I had done it, but then he just grabbed his jacket and turned towards the door.

"I'm going out. Keep researching the truth stuff."

"No, I'm coming with you!" I answered.

"Nora, you're really pissing me off right now so unless you're looking for trouble, let it go and get back to work. Call me if Sam stops by."

I raised my hands in surrender and let Dean leave without further argument. I was having trouble finding much on the truth curse and my mind kept drifting to Harry Potter and veritaserum, which I knew wouldn't be what Dean and Sam wanted to hear about.

"You find anything?" Dean asked when I picked up the phone a little while later. His voice had a slight edge, but I figured he was almost completely cooled off.

"Not exactly. Harry Potter has this thing called veritaserum, but that's not exactly real life, so..."

"Harry Potter?" he asked.

"Yeah, I love Harry Potter, Dean. Back in the day, after you and Sam would go out on a case or whatever, I used to stay up like all night. Well, at least until I heard the Impala come back because I knew you'd probably kick my ass if you knew I was staying up late all the time, but yeah, I'd watch the movies when there were those Harry Potter weekends on TV. Even snuck out to see one of them at the movie theater once. The books are better though. I did a lot more reading for fun than I did researching when you guys sent me to the library by myself."

"Ok, that's great, nerd. I want you waiting outside the room. I'm picking you up."

"I'd really rather stay here if I'm being honest. You were kind of being an asshole before and you were probably out getting even drunker at some disgusting bar so I think I'll just sit tight right here, maybe have a drink or two of my own."

My hand clapped over my mouth, "I didn't mean to say that!"

"Good. I've got some more questions for you. I want you waiting outside in five," Dean answered before he hung up.

While I waited outside the motel room it suddenly dawned on me that somehow I had been compelled to tell Dean the truth. _Shit. Shit. Shit._ I thought to myself as Dean pulled up and parked the Impala, a slight smile on his face.


	16. Chapter 16

I opened the door to the Impala and slid in next to Dean. I immediately crossed my arms over my chest protectively.

"Please don't ask me anything weird."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I know you got that truth curse and I know I have to tell you the truth. So I'd appreciate you not asking me anything weird or embarrassing, like about sex or what I like to do when I'm alone or about my dreams or-."

"Are you having sex with Jack?"

"No, Dean. I'm not! And that was exactly what-."

"And you weren't dating him before last night?"

"I was seeing him, but we weren't dating."

I clapped my hand over my mouth. It was like every time I tried to stop myself from answering, a pressure started to form in me, begging to be released before it exploded, "Stop asking me questions! It's not fair!"

"What do you mean by-,"

"Dean, please stop. I don't want to talk about this with you," I begged.

We had arrived at our destination and Dean turned off the car. He turned to face me.

"No, that's not gonna work for me. What do you mean that you were seeing him?" he asked.

"I mean we were kissing a lot. Making out pretty much whenever we got the chance. Jack's a pretty good kisser, knows how to drive a girl-."

"Jesus, Nora," he said, thankfully stopping me before I went into much detail, "Sounds to me like you were dating."

"No, I wasn't. Mostly because I didn't know how long I was staying for and because I've never seen a relationship work out in the long run. It's easier to not label things. No strings attached. No feelings to be hurt. And you and Sammy would kill him if you knew we were together."

He looked at me with something close to pity and ran his hand over his face, washing the expression away. Dean had been doing that a lot lately. He fished his phone out of his pocket when it rang and I saw Lisa's name flash across the screen.

"Stay in the car," he ordered as he slid towards the door, pushing it open.

'But Dean-," I reasoned.

"Just give me two minutes, ok?" he asked.

I nodded and Dean got out, opening his phone and taking a few steps away from the car so I couldn't hear. He kept his body turned away from me as he talked, his shoulders slumping more with each passing second. When he hung up and returned the phone to his pocket, I pushed the door open and stood beside him where he was leaning against the hood of the car.

"Dean?" I said cautiously.

He didn't answer and kept his gaze in the other direction.

"She says your welcome to come back home," Dean said, "And I have half a mind to send you."

"Dean, no. I want to stay with you. I love Ben and Lisa, but you're my brother. Please let me stay with you and Sam," I said.

"You knew, didn't you?" he asked, searching my eyes.

I nodded, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Dean. I'm so sorry. I just know how much you love Lisa and Ben and I knew you'd be so hurt and upset and disappointed when you heard. You get disappointed in me enough. I didn't need you to be disappointed in me because of this too."

"This one's not on you, kid," he answered.

I knew there was no sense in arguing with him so I wrapped my arms around him instead. He pulled me a little closer, pushing my head into his chest as I held him around the middle.

"I'm still sorry."

"I know you are," he said, kissing my head and cradling my head in his hand.

"You really want this life, Nora?"

"I want to be with you and Sammy," I answered.

Dean nodded once, registering what that meant, "I want you to get back in the car. I'm going to talk with Sam."

"Why can't I-,"

He looked down at me and I stopped, mumbling an apology and giving him another squeeze before sliding into the front seat as Dean made his way inside. It was over ten minutes later when Sam came out, opening the front door to the Impala and leaning down to look at me.

"Scoot over," he said. I nodded but instead, I climbed over the seat and landed in the back. Sam turned sideways in the seat so he was looking at me.

"So when do I get to hear about what Dean asked you with his little compelling trick?"

I glanced at him, ignoring his question, "Where's Dean?"

"He's coming," Sam answered, gesturing out the window where Dean was walking towards the Impala, his facial expression thoughtful.

"What did he ask you?" I pried.

"Dean just wanted to know which one of you is my favorite...," Sam answered with a grin.

I scoffed and thankfully Dean slid into the driver's seat, turning on the car and turning up the radio so we could ignore each other without having to deal with an awkward silence.

Back at the hotel, I settled into watching TV while Dean and Sam talked about the case. Whatever Dean had asked Sam, it seemed to satisfy him. Despite Dean seeming at ease, I couldn't help put a distance between myself and Sam. My subconscious and conscious minds were been busy sifting through the earlier discussions regarding my brother though I tried to distract myself with TV, with reading, with staring blankly at the wall. It was no use. I always floated back to thinking about Sam. Dean had been researching doppelgangers, maybe that's what this was. Maybe this weird replacement brother was Sams' doppelganger, but then where was my Sam? _Hell?_ **_Dead?_**

I pulled myself out of the thoughts as something the boys said registered in my head. I flipped through the channels until I found the news show- _Straight Talk with Ashley Frank_. I had been using the channel for background noise for most of the day, seeing promos for the prime time news show at least twice an hour.

"De," I said, using the remote control to point to the TV from my spot on the foot of the bed, "I think that's our goddess right there," I offered.

A smile touched his lips as he looked at me, "Good work, kiddo."

"Let's go gank a goddess then," Sam said.

"Yeah, I think we should probably get some proof first, Sammy. Nor, you stay here. We're going to get some evidence."

I groaned, but didn't put up much of a fuss. I was comfortable on the bed and I didn't have any particular desire to be around the two them right now. A little alone time was a welcome gift at this point.

"We'll bring some dinner when we come back, alright?" Dean asked.

I nodded as they headed out the door leaving me behind again. I waited for the TV show I had been watching to finish before I worked up the courage to even consider calling Cas. I knew he was busy. I knew this wasn't an emergency, but I still needed to talk to someone. I needed answers. Even though Dean knew that I knew something was up with Sam, he still refused to involve me in it. I sat back against the head board and gathered my thoughts before mustering enough resolution to shoot up a prayer.

"Castiel, I know you're busy and I know this isn't an emergency so you can ignore me if you want. I just- I uh just- I have some questions and Dean won't talk to me and-," I stopped mid-sentence when Castiel appeared at the foot of my bed.

"Eleanora."

"Cas, I really didn't think you'd come."

"If you really thought that, you would not have prayed to me."

I nodded and felt myself growing uncomfortable under his piercing gaze. It wasn't that I was uncomfortable with Cas. It was actually the opposite. Even when we first met, I felt as though I had known him for years. He was affectionate and caring in ways that surprised me considering his lack of experience with humanity. Cas had always made me feel safe but that didn't mean that his all-knowing gaze didn't make me squirm. That I didn't fear his uncanny ability to see through whatever brave face I was putting on, to see through whatever lie I was telling or even the ones I was just considering telling. And I'd be lying if I said that his bluntness didn't make me uneasy.

"What is it that you called me for?" he asked.

"I wanted to apologize for how Dean treated you earlier. He didn't mean it and I know it hurt you."

"You do not need to apologize for your brother, Eleanora. I am an Angel of the Lord. Words spoken by a human during a time of distress do not cause me pain. I appreciate you saying it, but that is not what you truly wanted to speak to me about, Eleanora."

"Can you tell me more about Sam?" I asked after a moment of silence. I knew Castiel didn't have much time and I didn't want to take up any more than I needed to.

"I don't know much," he answered and I could tell he was being honest with me. He usually was.

"Can you tell me what you know? Dean shut me out."

"Tell me what you know so I can figure out where to start," Castiel answered.

I pulled my knees up into my chest and Cas took a seat near me on the bed. I explained everything I knew and things I didn't know but had suspected over the last few months. I told him about our interactions, which were the basis of what I knew along with the fact that Dean was even uneasy with Sam. Once I finished, Cas reciprocated, explaining to me the few options that he knew to be possible- that it was Lucifer (though Cas said this wasn't the case), that this could just be the new Sam following a his stint in hell along with a few other possibilities, none of which Cas seemed very optimistic about.

"And you're sure it's not Lucifer in there?" I asked after Castiel explained everything. Some of the facial expressions, some of the things Sam said to me, it reminded me of when he let Lucifer take him as a vessel. It was just too hard to picture Lucifer in my brother's body again, too hard to remember that day, too hard to remember the look on his face while he hurt us, while he spoke hateful words that were still seared in my mind. Subconsciously, I felt my hand go to the almost non-existent scar that Lucifer had inflicted on my cheek, one of many from that day. It was practically invisible with a little makeup at this point.

Castiel's hand found mine and he pulled my hand down from my face, resting it on the bed between us with his hand on top of mine.

"You're safe, Eleanora. I promise. I cannot sense any real danger for you, or for Sam and Dean."

I nodded and he pulled his hand away.

"And you're okay?" I asked, "It sounded like things were not going so great for you back home."

"I am hopeful that all will work out in the end. Thank you for asking. You know, most humans do not think to ask," he answered.

"I care about you," I answered.

"I care about you as well, Eleanora. Now, I must go, but it was nice talking with you."

"Thanks Cas," I answered.

"You're more than welcome, Eleanora."

I let Castiel's information soak in before grabbing the laptop from the table and bringing it to the bed. I was about to continue Dean's research on doppelgangers when the door to the room opened. Sam carried a large box through the door and set it on the table. Dean followed not far behind carrying a couple of pizza boxes.

"Eat some dinner and then I want you to get some sleep," he said glancing at me and then to laptop beside me on the bed, "I think you've done enough research for one day?"

"Can't I help with some of the tapes though? Six eyes are better than four," I said, waggling my eyebrows at him, "Please?"

"Just for a little while," he relented, "You need your sleep, kiddo."

After three hours or so of watching tapes and eating dinner from my spot on the floor in front of my brothers, I sat back against Dean's legs yawning and trying to rub the tiredness from my face.

"Alright, that's bedtime for you, kiddo," he said, pulling on the ponytail at the back of my head. Dean got up, moving to sit next to the head board on the bed closest to the door. It was nearing 1 AM already, but I didn't move right away.

"You can take this bed," Sam said, nudging me with his foot, "I'm staying up until we get something to go on."

"I can't see the screen from this bed though. Sam makes a better door than a window," I complained as I sat at the head of the bed and tried to see around him.

"The only thing you need to be seeing is the inside of your eyelids," Dean answered.

"De," I complained.

"Well, get your butt over here then," he said, rolling his eyes. Dean pulled back the sheets beside him so I could get under them and rested his hands behind his head. I stood up and crawled over Dean's legs to get to my spot on his bed. Once comfortable, I leaned against him so I could see Sam's laptop screen better.

"You need to get some sleep, kiddo. I know you're exhausted," he murmured quietly looking down at me and bringing one arm down around me.

"We need to solve this case," I countered, looking up at him.

"Well, if you're going to be any use to me at all, I need you to get some real rest. Like a full 6 hours or so. If we don't find anything tonight, you can take a shift in the morning so Sam and I can get some shut eye, ok?"

I nodded, pulling my hair out of the ponytail and pushing the pillow to lay against his leg so I could still see the screen until I fell asleep. Dean pulled the covers up around me and I felt his hand in my hair as he absently ran his fingers through it, smoothing out the tangles on the pillow. Before long my eyelids became too heavy and I drifted into a peaceful sleep.

When I woke up, I was facing away from my brothers, wrapped in a cocoon of blankets with my legs curled up to my chest.

"How are you feeling?" Dean asked as I stretched out.

I sat up and moved my back against the headboard so I was sitting beside him.

"Better," I answered leaning across his lap to grab one the coffee cup sitting on the bedside table, "Can I have this?"

I suspected that it wasn't intended for me and that Dean had gotten himself an extra, but he nodded as I picked it up. He lifted an arm and I settled myself beside him.

"You find anything, Sam?" I asked. He looked like he hadn't moved a muscle since I fell asleep the night before.

"No," he answered.

"We found out that this lady is a creep, Sam, a creep with a creepy hairsyle. That's progress," Dean answered.

I nodded and began to sip my coffee while keeping my eyes glued to the screen.

"I can take a shift if you guys want to sleep," I offered.

"I'm good," Sam answered without taking his eyes from the screen.

"Well, you can sleep then, De. Sam and I can handle it."

"I'm okay for now, Nora. Thanks though," he said with a slight smile, his arm still wrapped around my shoulders. Even last night I had known that he had only told me I could take a shift so I would go to sleep. I had just been too tired to care. We all looked back to the screen at the sound of a dog barking.

"Zoom in on that, Sammy," Dean said, stiffening and removing his arm from my shoulders so he could sit up straighter. Sam worked quickly enough to see Ashley Frank's eyes light up as she side glanced at the dog that was going wild behind her in the shot.

"If that doesn't scream creepy truth goddess, I don't know what does. Guess we got some work to do," Sammy said, shutting the laptop.

"Yeah, we'll make our move tonight. We should get some sleep. You want to find out all you can about this Ashley Frank, kiddo?"

"Sure," I answered.

"Wake me up in two hours," he said as he kicked off his shoes and crawled under the covers, closing his eyes.

"I can handle the research," I said to Sam as I grabbed a slice of pizza, now spectacularly room temperature, out of the box on the table.

"Alright, good. Take notes. I'm going for a run," Sam said, digging through his bag.

"Are you nuts? You haven't slept in over 24 hours."

"I don't need sleep like I used to. I can run off of very little these days," he answered.

"Fine, fine. Don't say I didn't offer though," I said.

Dean shushed us from under the covers.

"Sorry," I mumbled, grabbing the laptop and going to sit on the other bed as Sam got ready to go out for a run.

"You can come with me if you want," Sam said while tying his shoes.

"No thanks. I've had enough of running with you to last a lifetime. I can wait until the next time I get in trouble."

* * *

I shared the results of the research with my brothers over an early dinner/late lunch about four hours later on. Dean was unimpressed that I didn't wake him up as requested, but he had needed the sleep. After we ate, Sam left to gather some supplies while I went over the details with Dean again. By 8:00, everything was ready to go.

"Alright kid, salt the-," Dean started.

"No, no way, Dean! You have to let me come. I did the research on this; I know her inside and out. I can help!" I whined.

"Nora, I don't want you to get hurt. Can't you just stay here? You've got a whole lifetime of hunts ahead of you."

"If you leave me here, I'm just going to sneak out and follow you. I'm so sick of being left out of everything. First with Sam and now this."

"What about me?" Sam asked, looking between Dean and I. Dean kept his mouth shut, waiting to hear what I said. I knew he was hoping that since he hadn't asked the question I wouldn't be compelled to tell the truth.

"Like how he wouldn't let me come hunting with you when you got back. He's treating me like a little kid," I lied, the words easily rolling of my tongue. I saw Dean relax in the corner of my eyes, grateful that I hadn't had to tell Sam the truth. Sam looked between Dean and me.

"Just let her come, Dean. If we don't, she'll just find a way there herself. At least this way we can work out a plan and maybe she'll be useful."

"Fine, you can come, but you do as you're told," Dean said, pointing a finger in my face.

"Of course," I answered.

"And I'm not taking you to gank a pagan god in your pajamas so you better go get dressed," he said gesturing to the leggings and sweatshirt I had been wearing since the night before.

The house Dean pulled up to was huge and the first thing I noticed once we were inside was that it was filled with cats. Cat art, cat sculptures, and actual living, breathing cats.

"I hate cats. All the evil people worship cats," I said.

"Cats aren't the bad," Sam said.

I shot Dean a knowing look behind Sam's back, raising an eyebrow as we headed down the stairs. We were following one of the cats and it led us to a room filled with bloodied, dismembered bodies. The cat perched on one of the bodies, lapping at a pool of blood.

"And on that note, you need to go back to the car and wait," Dean said, "Go out through the door we passed down the hallway. Start the car."

I knew what door he meant but I hesitated and Dean shoved the keys in my hand.

"Nora, I changed my mind. You need to go."

I didn't have room to argue Dean's change of heart and I was almost to the door when I heard a familiar voice talking to my brothers. I pulled my body into the small space under the stairs so she wouldn't see me, Dean's direct order abandoned.

"Good evening, boys. Where's your little sister? I'd hate for her to miss our little dinner party."

With that, I heard two bodies slam into the ground before I felt a strong hand on my arm, dragging me back towards the room.

"I'm glad I caught you before you left, Nora. Wouldn't want you to miss out on this," Veritas said.

After watching so many episodes of Frank Talk and doing so much research over the last 24 hours, I felt like I knew the lady. Her expressions and voice were so familiar, almost comforting until I remembered that she was also a pagan goddess. I pulled my knife out with my free hand but she simply turned towards me as we came into the room, flinging the knife out of my hand just by looking at it and slamming my back against the wall.

"Oh, you have no idea how much I am going to enjoy this. Teenage girls are a bit of a delicacy, sweetheart. The amount of lies you must roll off that pretty little tongue…Little white lies, little lies about boys, little lies about your little feelings, little lies to keep your brothers' disappointment at bay," she mocked, emphasizing the word 'little.

"How about a little fuck you?" I answered.

"Tsk, tsk, little one," she said, letting go of my arms. With a flick of her wrist, she sent me across the room, knocking me out when I hit the floor. I roused tied to a post across from my brothers and groaned quietly at the pain in my head. Honestly with all the head injuries.

"You're the first one awake, little one. But we wouldn't want to wake your brothers, so I'd like it if we kept this conversation quiet."

I glared at her, pulling at the ropes on my wrists and feeling them tighten the more I moved to loosen them.

"You won't get away with this. No one ever gets away with it."

She laughed.

"And why is that? You have a secret weapon."

"My brothers are the best hunters there are. They always have something up their sleeves," I answered, the words feeling forced as they left my mouth.

"And what about you? You have anything up your sleeve?"

"You took my knife and I'm, I'm still learning. I'm not very good," I answered through gritted teeth, feeling heat creep up into my cheeks. Veritas let out a soft chuckle.

"You don't like being forced, do you, little one?"

Her hand reached out to stroke my cheek and I pulled away, but she grabbed my chin in her hand, forcing it towards her, "Just you wait until those boys wake up. You think you and I are having fun? I can't wait to find out how you three really feel about each other. You Winchesters are famous and so deliciously complicated. The web of lies the three of you have woven."

I glared at her.

"Dean! Sammy!" I shouted, earning a shift smack to the side of my face to shut me up.

"What did I say about waking your brother, you insolent little girl?" she said before moving to one of the dead bodies on the other side of the room.

"Ah, now see what you did, Nora?" she said, gesturing to Sam and Dean who were stirring. They looked confused until they placed themselves in the room. Dean's eyes locked on mine and a wave of emotion flashed through his face. Surprise. Anger. Guilt. Back to Anger. I knew one of those angry faces was because of me.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked.

I nodded.

"Hmm. She's got a mouth on her, but other than that, she's in the same state as you two. I prefer to play with my food before I eat it. So just sit tight; you three are my main course."

I watched as she plunged a pair of pliers into a corpse's mouth, clamping down on the tongue and pulling it out with a twist. I shut my eyes at the sight, but I couldn't block out the sound of the squish. When I opened my eyes Veritas was about to take a bite. I felt vomit come into my mouth, but I forced it back down. Just watching her made me feel like I was going to pass out. The corners of my vision were dim and I could hear a deafening ring in my ears. Maybe I had hit my head harder than I thought. Either way, it took me a moment before I could focus again.

Dean and Sam were both looking behind me, but I couldn't turn my head. Instead I leaned back into the cool metal pole I was tied to.

"You two are gold standard and this little sweetheart here, well, let's just say she's been lying to you since before she could talk, haven't you?" Ashley leaned down and grasped my chin in her hand. I didn't know what she meant by that.

"Point of professional pride," Dean said and I could sense that he was just trying to draw her away from me.

"I wouldn't be so cocky, Dean," she spat. Veritas stepped away from me and towards Dean which was all he wanted.

"So before I dine on your tongues, we're going to play one of my favorite games. It's called truth or truth or truth."

She looked at each of us in turn, a wide grin on her face.

"So what should we ask Dean first? Something personal? Something deep?"

"How do you really feel about your brother?" she asked.

Dean's lip trembled before he spoke and I swallowed hard, looking to Sam. His eyes were focused only on Dean.

"Better now," Dean started, "Yesterday I was considering killing him in his sleep. I thought he was a monster…but now I think…"

"What do you think?" she asked.

"He's just acting like me."

I felt relieved and it must have shown because she turned to me.

"Ah, That wasn't the answer you were expecting, Nora?"

"No," I answered.

She let out a light laugh, "Interesting."

"So, tell me. What did you mean by that, Dean?"

"I mean, it's just the job," Dean said. He expanded upon what he meant, the truth spilling out and before I could stop myself, I let out a quiet sob when Dean said, " _I'm not a father. I'm a killer._ "

"Looks like you upset someone, Dean," she said, directing everyone's attention to me, "Let's give Nora a chance to share with the group."

She stooped beside me on the step, her finger directing my face to her gaze. This bitch had a thing about eye contact.

"Why are you crying?"

"Dean's wrong. He doesn't know how good he is," I answered.

"Why do you say that?"

"He raised me from the time I came back to them. I'd trust him with my life."

She gave me a look and I felt obliged to continue, "I was missing for ten years, Dean has been more of a father to me than our own Dad since then. He _is_ a family man. I can always trust him to look out for me."

"And do you trust Sam?"

I held my mouth closed and shut my eyes as well, wishing she would forget she asked and move on. I felt the pressure building up inside as I tried to keep it in.

"Nora, do you trust Sam?" she repeated.

"No," I answered, my eyes avoiding Sam's, "I want to. I really do. But he's just not the brother I remember. Ever since he came back he's been different. He's not my Sammy. I just can't-."

I kept my eyes to the floor, avoiding looking at either one of my brothers.

"And let's go back to what happened to you when you were a baby?" she asked, "Your brothers are dying to know. They have been for years."

She looked to Sam and Dean, "Right boys?"

They both mumbled "yes" and I felt a little bit crushed by their admissions.

"I disappeared. I don't know what happened. I was only 6 months old."

Her head snapped back to me.

"You do know," she insisted, "You have to tell us."

"I don't know."

She grabbed my chin again, turning my face towards her roughly.

"Leave her alone, you bitch," Dean yelled.

"I really don't know," I said again, my eyes welling with tears as the grip was so strong. Her eyes searched mine.

"Huh. Well they really did a job on you, Nora. It's all there though. You just haven't looked hard enough."

With that, she let me go and stood up. I let out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding.

"So let's do a little recap. Dean thinks he's nothing more than a killer. He wanted to kill Sam, but now just blames himself. Nora loves Dean like a father but doesn't trust Sammy. And she's got some work to do at uncovering some repressed memories. How does it feel to know that's how they feel, Sam? Sounds like classic middle child problems. And how do _you_ feel about the Winchesters being back together again?"

He looked at Dean and I in turn before answering.

"Look, it's simple. What we do isn't easy…but the three of us, we watch out for each other and when it comes down to it, that's all we can do."

"No," she said shaking her head, "You're lying. How are you lying to me? Your sister doesn't know think she knows the answer to my questions. That's how she's able to do it, but you, this is – what are you?"

She turned to look at Dean. "What is he?" she shouted.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Sam answered.

"Well, I don't believe a word that comes out of your mouth. You're not even human!"

"What?" Dean and I asked at the same time.

"Now, that is the purest sign of truth right there. The raw shock on their face, the heartbreak in their eyes," she said gesturing to Dean and me. Suddenly Sam's hands were free as he pushed Veritas away from him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a pocket knife slide across the floor to Dean. I watched him and waited for my turn to cut loose. I felt blood pumping in my ears as adrenaline coursed through my veins.

Veritas knocked Sam to the ground and kneeled over top of him, her hands coming to rest on his throat. I looked to Dean. He was still struggling to rip out of the ropes and I knew we didn't have much more time to work with. A few seconds later, the knife slid towards me as Dean stood, lifting a bloodied pole from the ground. I had already focused my attention on cutting at the ropes that secured me when I heard the sound of splitting flesh, not once, but twice and I stopped cutting, allowing the tension in my shoulders to release. She was dead. Dean glanced at me quickly and then back to Sam, raising his knife in Sam's direction.

"Dean?" I said. He didn't respond, "Dean!"

"You sit tight, Nora. I've gotta deal with this."

"Dean, it's me," Sam said when Dean advanced towards him, throwing his hands up in surrender.

"You are not my brother. I know it. Nora knows it. You know it," Dean spat.

I started sawing away at the ropes that tied me with more vigor than before.

"Just put the knife down and listen, Dean," Sam tried.

"Dean, stop," I whined. He glanced at me for a second. They were not far from where I was tied and while still holding the knife at Sam, he reached down with his free hand and took the pocketknife from my grasp, tossing it to the side and leaving me unable free myself. He focused his attention back on Sam.

"Dean!" I screamed, pulling at the ropes.

"What are you?" Dean asked. I was startled at the tone of his voice. He was yelling.

"It's me. It's Sam," Sam answered. In that moment, he sounded so Sam like. Even if it was just an act. Even if there was something wrong with him, he was still my brother.

"Why should we believe anything you say?" Dean spat back.

"Dean, do not do this," I said. He ignored me, "Dean!" I yelled.

"Nora, shut your damn mouth," Dean answered in the same angry yell he had directed at Sam just seconds before.

I gulped, tears silently going down my cheeks though no one noticed.

"Here's the truth, okay? She was right. There's something off with me. I lied. I knew there was something wrong with me. You were right, Dean – I did let that vamp turn you. I knew about the cure and I know that you're strong. You could handle it, get us in that nest."

"I could have died. I could have killed her," Dean said. They both looked at me briefly.

"And I should care about that. I should care about you. I should care about her. I know I should, but I just don't. Just like I don't care when she's upset or that she doesn't trust me. I don't feel it. I feel rage sometimes or maybe it's just not even that. I just feel like the littlest thing annoys me, I do what I have to to stop it, whatever it takes. I don't feel any of it, Dean."

"You what?"

"Dean, I am a better hunter than I've ever been and it's all because I can't feel it and I'm not scared anymore. I don't care what people think. Consequences don't matter. I don't know why- I think – I think I need help."

In the silence, neither Sam or I moved as Dean placed the knife down on a shelf. I sighed in relief and slumped back against the pole I was tied to. When I looked up it was because of the sound of bone connecting with bone as Dean knocked Sam to the ground and started punching him repeatedly. I felt hot tears stinging my eyes as I screamed for Dean to stop over and over, only to be ignored.

When Dean finally stopped and he let go of Sam's collar, his head hit the ground with a light thud and Sam's head rolled to face me. I let out a painful sob as I saw his face bloodied and broken at the hands of our brother. The sounds of Dean's boots echoed through the room as he walked towards me. I kept my eyes away from him as he squatted down in front of me and leaned around to cut the rope with a knife.

Once free, I pulled my hands up to my chest and rubbed at my wrist, the bruises already forming. Dean's hands were on my shoulders and I tried to stop my tears. He moved to pull me into his arms for a hug but I put a hand on his chest, holding him away from me and shrugging his hands off of my shoulders. He looked disappointed, hurt even, but I didn't care. I couldn't stand the thought of hugging him right now. I was mad at Sam for lying to us too, but Dean had almost killed him. I slid around him and went to Sam's side, checking for a pulse.

"You're lucky he's still breathing," I said, "You could have fucking killed him, Dean."

Dean had cringed slightly when I said it, but he didn't reprimand me.

"He's not our brother, Nora."

"I don't care. Couldn't you hear him? He was asking for help. Sam's there somewhere. Even if there's something wrong him– he's still our brother."

Dean didn't answer me, "Are we going back to the room?" I asked.

Dean nodded, placing his thumb and pointer finger on the bridge of his nose and sighing.

"I'm going to wait in the car then."

Dean nodded, though I didn't care if I had his permission or not. He was the one who knocked Sam out. He could lug him out to the car. I waited until I was in the Impala before I curled my legs up onto the seat, tears streaming down my face as big sobs racked my body thinking that maybe Dean was right; maybe I wasn't really cut out for this life.


	17. Chapter 17

When I woke up, I was sitting alone in the front seat the Impala with my head leaning against the cold window, a foggy circle dissipating on the glass near where my mouth had been. Dean's jacket was haphazardly draped over my body. It took me a moment to figure out that I was parked outside of the motel room where we had been camped out the last couple of days. I must have cried myself into a deep sleep because I couldn't even remember Dean coming out of the house, let alone him maneuvering a passed out Sam into the backseat of the Impala. I sat up, feeling stiffness in my muscles and let Dean's jacket fall onto the floor before thinking better of it. I folded it over and set it on the seat before I headed for the room.

I was surprised to find that the door was unlocked, but figured Dean had left it open for me. The first thing I saw when I came through the door was Cas. He was staring at Sam and poking at his face. Sam was tied to the chair. His face looked bad. Sam's nose was definitely broken and I was surprised that he could still keep his eyes open with all of the swelling. I took a few tentative steps towards the action and although I averted my eyes from him aside from my initial survey of the room, I knew Dean was watching me as I made my way into the room.

"Cas, what are you doing to him? Leave him alone" I said.

"I'm diagnosing your brother," he answered as if that was the most natural thing in the world.

I pushed Castiel's hand away, "Well that probably hurts considering how bad he looks…Are you okay, Sammy?" I asked Sam.

"Yeah, I'm alright," he answered. If my brother's beat me and tied me to a chair, allowing Castiel to do whatever investigations he deemed necessary I would not be this calm. I would be livid. Or terrified. Probably some combination of the two.

Dean's hand wrapped around my upper arm and he jerked me back from Sam and I tripped over my own feet when he did it. After I regained my balance I pushed Dean's hand away and turned to him, feeling annoyance rise the moment I made eye contact with him. From the look on his face and the gruffness with which he handled me I could tell Dean wasn't exactly happy with me either. That was all fine by me because that simply justified my feelings. As long as there were no disappointed, guilt-ridden stares shot it my direction, I could keep my resolve.

"Keep your _fucking_ hands off me."

I took a cautious step away from him. My only endgame to put distance between myself and Dean, but he grabbed my arm again, this time his grip stronger and turned me towards him.

"I know you're mad at me, but we don't have time to deal with your _bullshit_ right now, Nora. Sit down and keep your mouth shut while Cas does his work or you'll find what it really means for me to put a hand on you."

I didn't move right away, both of us sending glares in the other's direction. He guided me to sit down on the foot of the bed and let go of me. I fought the urge to rub my arm something which in my mind would read as submission or deference both qualities I wasn't ready to show.

"And if I hear that word come out of your mouth one more goddamn time…"

I finally looked up at him and he stopped himself when our eyes connected, taking a drawn-out sip of his drink, "Just don't let me hear it again."

Castiel continued his inquisition and that shut the two of us up for the time being.

"Sam how much sleep do you get?"

"I don't," Sam answered and I know I looked surprised at his admission. It was weird, but when I thought about it, I hadn't actually seen Sam sleep since he came back. He didn't drink coffee either. He seemed to have an endless stream on energy. I always assumed Sam was just getting a few hours after I went to sleep. Both boys had always slept less than me anyways. Castiel made eye contact with both Dean and I. Something in me told me that Castiel's reaction wasn't a good thing.

"Sam, what do you feel now?" he probed, continuing his inquisition.

"I feel like my nose is probably broken," Sam answered with a slight laugh in his voice.

"That's physical, Sam. How do you _feel_? Nora and Dean, as we just saw, obviously feel extreme levels of anger towards one another which is why they are lashing out in this way. I suspect they also feel concern for you. So, what do you _feel_ Sam?"

I felt a little embarrassed by what Castiel said. He boiled it down to the bare bones, but there was a lot more to the situation. Leave it to the angel in the room to make human emotions seem so petty and trivial.

"I…I don't know. Nothing," Sam replied.

Cas slid the belt from around his waist and Sam went wide eyed. I had to admit that I was confused by the action too.

"Uh...what?" Sam sputtered.

"Bite down on this. I can assure you that this will not be pleasant," Castiel said, not waiting for a response and instead placing the belt between Sam's teeth.

Cas plunged his arm inside Sam and he started to scream.

"Cas wait!" I cried and I moved to stand up and go towards them. I wanted it to stop. I had seen Sam's face contorted in pain enough for one day. I felt Dean's hand land on my shoulder. I pushed it away, but stayed seated, focusing on my feet

"It's his soul. It's gone," Castiel said once he pulled his arm from Sam's body, rolling his sleeve back down and buttoning the cuff. His words sunk like rocks in the pit of my stomach and I leaned over, holding my head in my hands as I tried to figure out how that would even be possible and what it meant for us.

"What does that mean?" I asked when I finally found the words.

"Explain, Cas," Dean added when the angel hesitated, temporarily distracted while he took in the expressions on our faces.

"When your brother was resurrected, his soul got left behind."

"Ok, so just go get it then! If you were able to pull out his whole body a little soul should be nothing!" I said.

Dean eyed me, which I felt was hypocritical considering how he had been treating Cas as of late, but I took the warning and tried again, my tone a step lighter the second time.

"Cas, I just…what can we do to get Sam's soul back?" I asked.

"I do not know. His soul is in the cage with Lucifer and Michael. It will not be easily retrieved."

"Are you guys going to untie me?" Sam asked. I had all but forgotten that he was in the room. That was typical of conversations like this. God forbid we let someone actually have a say in their own life.

"I can't. I can't let you out of this room. I can't even trust you around your own sister, man. How am I supposed to just untie you?" Dean said walking towards Sam.

"You can trust me," Sam said to Dean and then he looked over to me, "I promise I'm not going to hurt you, Nora. I'm not some psycho."

Neither of us answered so Sam continued, "I get it, Dean. I know what I did was wrong. I'm sorry about the vampire thing. I promise it won't happen again. And I'll keep in mind that I'm supposed to put family first. You two, you're what's most important."

Beyond anything, I wanted to believe that statement to be genuine, but I just couldn't. It was something the real Sammy might say. It was something that my father had instilled in us from childhood.

"No, I'm sorry, Sam. It's not gonna happen." Dean answered, turning away from him.

"I really didn't want it to have to come to this."

I watched as Sam stood from the chair, shaking the ropes loose as he stood up straight and took a step forward. Dean move closer to me and out of instinct, I reciprocated the movement, shifting over on the bed. I was mad at Dean, but I wasn't stupid.

"You can't keep me on lockdown, Dean. It just won't work. You and Nora, well, you're stuck with me for a brother so we might as well work together on it. Fix this."

I looked at Dean and I could tell that he wasn't pleased with either option. Dean could fight him on it, but he didn't want to. Even if Sam's soul wasn't there, his body was. It was still his face and when he hurt, when he scrunched his face up in agony, I felt the pain. I knew that Dean did too. But the other option was voluntarily working with someone who didn't have a soul, no intuition, no feelings and that wasn't going to be easy or safe. Dean was thinking it through and all of us were watching him, awaiting his answer with bated breath. He turned towards Sam suddenly.

"I'm going to be watching every damn move you make. If you do anything that gets her hurt. If you so much as say something to hurt her, I will be on you so fast you won't know what hit you."

"Understood. I would say the same if the situation were reversed."

"You have no idea what you would say if you were reversed. You don't have a damn soul…Cas, clean him up."

Castiel put two fingers to Sam's forehead and his face instantly healed. Part of me couldn't help but feel relief at seeing Sam's face returned to its normal state, nose unbroken. Within seconds, Dean and Sam had worked out the next step – finding whoever ripped Sam's body from the pit, leaving his sweet, kind, and loving soul behind. Our first stop was going to be Samuel's compound and we were leaving immediately.

After hearing Dean's order to move out, I wordlessly grabbed my bag duffel bag and backpack off the floor. I was already packed so I headed for the Impala. I left my bags on the ground by the trunk and slid into the backseat, making preparations to lay down and turn away from the frontseat, and my brothers, as soon as the boys came out. As I was balling up my sweatshirt to use as a pillow Cas appeared on the seat beside me. I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"Is everything ok, Eleanora?" he asked.

"Dean almost killed Sam," I spoke, the words coming out as a whisper.

"Dean is in pain," he answered me, "You both are."

Castiel always defended Dean.

"I don't know if I can handle this," I offered, "The stuff with Sam and the stuff with…Did Dean tell you about what happened with Veritas?"

"Yes, he told me," Castiel answered plainly, "Winchesters are resilient. You are resilient, Eleanora."

I nodded, but stayed quiet, tears prickling at my eyes. I didn't feel very strong right now. I felt stupid. I felt upset. I felt hurt. I felt a lot of things, but resilient wasn't one of the feelings.

"Would you like me to put you to sleep, Eleanora? You look like you could use a little peace."

I nodded again and looked to him. I knew by agreeing to let Cas put me to sleep, I was taking the easy way out. I was avoiding the pain, avoiding the anxious thoughts, avoiding my brothers, but I didn't care. I couldn't handle riding in a car with them for hours if I wasn't asleep and if I was awake, Dean would probably kill me before we made it half way. Castiel allowed me to get comfortable on the seat. He gave me an encouraging smile before placing two gentle fingers on my forehead and whispering goodnight.

Dean reached back to shake my arm after the car stopped. Thankfully, I had slept soundly for the entire ride. I didn't remember any of my dreams, but I felt at peace and I knew that was Castiel's doing. I squinted as I sat up and looked around to identify our new location, eyeing everywhere except Dean's face.

"How did you sleep?" he asked.

"Fine," I answered, pushing open the car door and following after Sam. Dean stayed in the car for a moment and then trailed a few steps behind us. I let my feet scuff as I walked, something which typically annoyed both of my brothers, but I was really just too peeved to care about their opinion. I had only been back on the road with Sam and Dean for a few days and already I was looking forward to our next day off. A day to relax and bum around some crap motel room or better yet, Uncle Bobby's. Though the idea of a day off sounded nice in theory, I knew the second things settled, even if just for a few minutes, Dean would want to talk about what had happened- so much had happened. Sam, my apparent repressed memories, my "attitude". It was times like this that it would have been nice for me to have a friend who was not related and/or my superior, but who also knew about the supernatural. It made me miss Jo, even if we hadn't always gotten along. It made me wish the Jack knew about the supernatural.

Christian was the first to notice us when we walked through the door of the compound. If I hadn't already been in a bad mood, he would have probably elicited some sort of response from me, but instead I stared blankly ahead, taking in all of the new faces in the room, casually searching for Gwen's face in the diligently working crowd.

"Hey Sam! And look at that you brought the kid and the missus," Christian said as he hugged Sam before directing his attention to Dean and me with a curt nod, "Dean, Kid, it's a pleasure as always," he said.

"Yeah, always. Where's Gramps?" Dean asked.

Christian pointed to the back of the room and I followed my brothers to Samuel's office. The three of us piled inside when Dean answered the door.

"Oh just come on in, kids," Samuel said, sarcasm light in his voice when he looked up to us after shutting one of the drawers on his desk. His eyes met mine and he smiled, "Hi there, sweetheart. Wasn't expecting your brothers to bring you around here anytime soon."

"Yeah, well, change of plans. We've got some questions for you," Dean said before I could speak.

"What's wrong?" he asked looking between the three of us. It must have been quite a picture. Sam, quiet for the first time in months. Dean, pissed off, stressed out and inpatient and me, generally annoyed, distancing myself as much as I could from my brothers. I stood near the corner of the room, leaning against a bookshelf.

"What happened the day you got back? What do you remember?" Dean asked.

"I've told you this already, Dean," Samuel answered, scoffing a bit at Dean's question.

"Well, humor us. Let's do a little recap for Nora and for our holy guest."

Castiel appeared behind Samuel.

"Ah, the famous Castiel. A bit smaller than I imagined," Samuel commented, at least I knew where out unnecessary sass came from.

"My true form is the size of the Chrysler building," Castiel answered plainly.

I rolled my eyes.

"Alright, alright. Let's just get on with it," Dean said.

"Guys, I don't know how I got back. I've got nothing to hide from you. I just don't know what happened."

"Well, then you won't mind if Castiel takes a look, makes sure everything is a-ok?"

Again, I was forced to watch Castiel search for a soul and again, I diverted my eyes to the floor, uncomfortable with the disparaging yells coming from Samuel's mouth.

"What was that about?" Samuel asked afterwards.

"His soul is fine. Completely intact," Castiel answered.

"Of course it is!" His gaze fell on Sam, "Yours isn't?"

"Sam's soul is missing," Cas said before turning to gaze out the window.

All things considered, I wouldn't say that Samuel looked entirely surprised by the admission and apparently Dean thought the same.

"You knew?" he asked, though it came out as an accusation.

"No, but I had a feeling something was off. Sam, you're a damn good hunter, but sometimes, you're downright scary."

He was right about that, but then again, Dean could be downright scary too. Watching him beat Sam to a bloody pulp was scary. Hearing his threat to lay a hand on me had been a little scary too.

"So, what's the next step then? I can help. I'm happy to do what I can," Samuel said.

"I have to go," Cas interrupted, turning his back to the window he had been staring out.

"What? Come on Cas!" Dean's annoyance was more than clear in his tone.

"I'm in the middle of a civil war, Dean."

"Oh, well, sure. You better run off then. Maybe you can find time to look for something to help with Sam while you're up there," Dean was lashing out at Cas, but really I knew he wanted to lash out at Sam and probably at me.

"Dean, just shut up. Stop taking it out on Cas," I said.

"Yes, of course, Dean. The needs of the Winchesters always come first," Castiel answered, "I'll be in touch."

And Castiel was gone.

"Nice job, Dean," I mumbled after a beat.

I felt each pair of eyes in the room land on me.

"I'm going to wait in the car," I said, heading towards the door.

"No, you're not," Dean answered, his hand on my arm to stop me.

"Gwen's on guard out back; I'm sure she wouldn't mind a little company," Samuel said, eyeing Dean and me. Dean wasn't pleased with Samuel's input and he still hadn't released me.

"Since I've raised a teenage girl before, I'll help you out. You're either going to lay into her and deal with that insolent attitude right here and now or if she's justified in being that angry with you, then you're going to find a way to make it up to her. And I don't see you doing either right now so it's probably best to let the girl have some space until there's time to deal with it."

Dean didn't answer, but he dropped my arm and I took that as my cue to leave, heading down the hallway to find Gwen. She was sitting just outside the back door to the compound and I took a seat on the barrel across from her.

"Well if it isn't my favorite long lost little cousin," she said while offering a smile.

"Ha. I would have thought Dean was your favorite."

Gwen let out a laugh.

"Dean's alright, but us Campbell girls gotta stick together."

I took a deep breath and looked out at the darkness that surrounded us.

"What's eating you?" she asked.

I looked at her, debating whether or not to tell her any details and settling on, "Sometimes I just hate having only brothers."

"Which one is it?"

"Both, but surprisingly it's more Dean. I think he's about ready to strangle me. Samuel said I have an "insolent attitude" with him. He kind of deserves it though. Both of them do right now."

"It'll work out. You three seem like a close knit bunch."

"Oh yeah, we're a regular old Brady Bunch, that is if the Brady Bunch was about two jerkoff brothers and their "kid" sister on the road, hunting things, saving people, the _fucking_ family business…"

"No, tell me how you really feel," she said while laughing.

"I'm sorry. I think I needed to vent to someone who wouldn't try to justify everything they do. Everyone who I know thinks I should just blindly follow orders because they're my brothers and…"

"Trust me, I get it. So it sounds like you're back in the life? Dean doesn't have you on lockdown anymore? No more suburbia?"

"I guess not. We haven't really worked any of that out yet."

We could just add that to the list of things that would eventually need to be discussed.

"That's good though. That's what you wanted, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," I answered. I didn't have any clue what I wanted anymore.

"So, who are all those new people in there?"

"A bunch of vaguely related Campbell's. Here to help take down the Alpha Vamp," she said.

"They're all family?" I asked.

"Samuel doesn't trust anyone else."

"Samuel doesn't trust Dean and he's family."

"Your brother's got a chip on his shoulder. And you take right after him…but Samuel likes you, more than both of those boys put together."

I shrugged, "Don't know why. They're better hunters than I'll ever be."

"Probably because you look just like your mother; that's why. He looks at you and he sees her. Sometimes I think he even sees her in me. That's why he's so protective."

"I think it's actually pronounced _sexist_ ," I answered with a smile.

"You're not wrong there."

I stayed out there for over an hour talking with Gwen before I got a text from Dean telling me to come back to the car. Reluctantly, I headed around the building to the Impala. Dean was already waiting in the front seat.

"What's going on? Where's Sam?" I asked, the most syllables I had directed at him in a while.

"We've got a lead on the Alpha Vamp. We're heading out."

"Gwen said. Why don't you just leave me here then? Not like you're going to let me out of the car anyway."

Dean turned to look at me and I directed my attention out the window.

"Nora, I really can't do this with you right now. We're going on a dangerous hunt and yeah, if you're going to act like this, you can sure as hell bet that your ass will be sitting it out in the car. And just so you know, I am not going to put up with this attitude until there's a break in the action. I can't put up with it, so you're going to stop it right now or you're going to regret it. I don't want to have to make you stop, but I will if you keep it up. You're mad at me. Fine. You're mad at Sam. Fine. You hate the whole goddamn world. Fine. Right now, I do too. I don't care if you never want to talk to me again."

I let out a laugh because I knew that was a lie and so did he, but he continued nonetheless.

"Nora, I want you to look at me so I know you're listening."

I deliberately kept my face pointed out the window and he reached back, roughly grabbing me with a hand and turning my whole body towards him.

"I've had enough! You can be mad at me all you want. Curse me out in your head over and over again for all I care, but you will not continue to be outright disrespectful. You will not disobey my direct orders. You will not keep talking like a goddamn sailor. The rules haven't changed just because you're a little upset. This is the last warning. I will not repeat it again this nicely. Do you understand me?"

He reached out and shook me a little when I didn't answer and I pushed his hand away.

"I asked if you understand me and when I ask a question, I expect an answer!" he yelled.

"Yes, jeez, I got it!" I yelled back, but then thought better of it when I realized that I really had no way to put distance between us if needed. "I...I understand," I muttered, "sir." I spit out the term like it was poison but Dean accepted it anyway. It was better than "asshole."

Sam opened the door and slid in the front seat. I turned to look back out the window.

"Well it's nice and tense in here…You know Dean, Dad never would have gotten that lip from her," Sam turned to look at me. "Hey kid, you remember that time Dean washed your mouth out with soap because you swore at him and were talking back? And you just cried and cried and cried. Maybe you could try the good old soap again, Dean."

Sam clapped Dean on the shoulder. He couldn't tell how angry Dean was. How he was ready to blow. I pretended like I wasn't listening. Now that I knew Sam didn't have a soul, this line of comments didn't surprise me all that much. He was just spewing nonsense to entertain himself at my expense. Sam didn't even recognize that the main reason I was even mad at Dean was because of what he did to him. And if he did realize it, he certainly didn't care.

"Sam, just shut up and leave her alone," Dean said before the Impala revved to life and we joined the caravan.

By the time we came to the location of the hunt, the sun was coming up. I stood among the crowd of Campbell's, waiting for my assignment from Samuel. This was his hunt. We were just guests.

"Alright, Christian takes flank. Everyone else with me and Sam. Dean, Nora and Gwen. You three can stay here catch any stragglers."

Dean couldn't hold in his reaction. I wasn't thrilled that Sam was going off practically unsupervised and that I was going to be stuck at the truck either, but I wasn't going to draw attention to it.

"Problem, Dean?" Samuel asked.

"No, sir," he answered out of habit.

"And what about you, Nora? You going to be able to follow their orders without question?"

"Yes, sir," I answered, "No problem."

"Both of them?"

"Yes, sir," I repeated.

"I'm in the rear with the reject and teenie bopper? Great," Gwen answered.

Samuel didn't feel that her comment warranted a response and soon after everyone started to move out.

"Don't worry, guys. It's fine, really," Sam said as he came to stand by Dean and me.

"Nothing's fine, Sam. You're not fine. Nora and I aren't fine. We're far from fine," Dean replied.

"Just go, Sam," I said and Dean ran his hand over his face before looking at me.

"Are we good?" he asked, "I don't need to make you sit in the car?"

"I'll do what I'm told, but no, we're not _good_."

I walked away from him to join Gwen.

"You do know how to kill a vampire, right?" she asked, holding out a knife for me to take.

"Yes, I know how to kill a vampire," the tone I answered her with was slightly offended.

"Sorry. I had to ask," Gwen answered, "Have you ever killed one before?"

"No, she hasn't and preferably she won't have to today," Dean replied.

"Oh, well, there you have it. The big brother has spoken," Gwen joked, "Just so you know, I didn't mean anything about that comment before. It just sucks always being the one left behind."

"It's alright," Dean answered.

I took to wandering the perimeter of the clearing while Dean and Gwen talked. I wasn't interested in small talk. I turned back to them when I heard the snap of a twig in the distance.

"Watch out!" I yelled just before the vampire knocked Gwen to the ground and then shoved Dean up against a wall. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw branches move as another vampire came into the clearing. This vampire headed straight for me. As he ran forward, I swung, my eyes closing involuntarily. When I opened my eyes, there was a gash across his upper chest, blood pouring from the wound, but he was still pursuing me, albeit slower than before. I raised my arm to swing again, meaning to keep my eyes open this time but he stopped my wrist before I could connect with his body, forcing the blade from my hand. The vampire opened his mouth to reveal a set of fangs and leaned towards my neck.

Dean's blade cleanly sliced through the vampire and the body slouched to the ground while the head rolled. I let out a quick scream as my face was splashed with blood. Without hesitation, Dean stepped over the vampire's body and pulled me into him with one of his arms, wiping at the blood covering my face with the other. For a fleeting moment, everything seemed ok.

"I thought you said you knew how to kill a vampire!" Gwen said, exasperated.

"She's new!" Dean barked, coming to my defense, "You alright?"

"I'm fine," I answered and he searched my eyes for the truth. Our eye contact only broke because the sound of gunfire in the distance made us both look towards the house even though there was nothing to see. We were surrounded by woods.

"If another one comes keep your eyes open. Swing a little higher," he said, shoving the blade back in my hand and stepping away.

"Where are you go-?" I asked.

"Stay with Gwen," he barked, breaking into a run

"Where are you going? We're supposed to stay here!" Gwen shouted.

But Dean was gone, the sight of him lost in the cover of trees and bushes.

"Doesn't listen to authority very well, does he?" Gwen scoffed, rolling her eyes and turning away from me.

Dean usually respected authority better than most, especially when he trusted the authority. He had always listened to Bobby and my father without question but he didn't trust something about Samuel. He didn't trust Sam. He certainly didn't trust Christian. And the three of them were running the show.

"He has good instincts. I'm sure he has a reason," I answered.

The woods around us were quiet but I stayed alert, my adrenaline still pumping. Every now and then, a few gunshots rang out through the air, a few yells and groans in the distance.

"I'm sorry about before. I got nervous. I've never actually fought a vampire before. I mean – exorcisms and burning bones, yeah, but-," I felt the need to explain myself.

"It's ok. I get it. I didn't mean to be so harsh before. Adrenaline does that to you. You'll do better next time."

Hours later, we were almost back to the compound and for the first time in days, the tension in the front seat was higher than the tension between Dean and me so I kept quiet. Dean and I made eye contact in the rearview mirror and I could tell he was about ready to blow.

"So, everything went alright up at the house? You never really said how it went," Dean led.

"It was fine," Sam answered.

"So nothing weird? Average run of the mill slice and dice vamp kill?" he prompted.

"Yeah, I mean, a little harder than average. It was the alpha, but nothing strange."

Suddenly Dean pulled over to the side of the road, the car's wheel screeching on the wet pavement. He turned off the ignition and pulled out the keys as he got out, slamming the door. Sam looked at me and I shrugged my shoulders, the hell if I know what Dean's thinking. Sam slid out the front seat and I hesitated, debating whether or not I wanted to be in the line of fire on this one, but figured I would listen, but keep my distance and keep my mouth shut. I got out and I left the door to the backseat open, leaning my arms on the top of the door and facing my brothers.

"I saw you walk the alpha right out the door, Sam. I might be crazy, but to me that sounds a little weird!" Dean said. So, that's what happened when he left Gwen and me by the cars.

"Oh…yeah, that. Well, you weren't supposed to know about that. Either one of you actually."

"We weren't supposed to know what?" Dean spat.

"He doesn't kill them?" I asked, drawing the gaze of both of my brothers.

"Get off my car like that," Dean said and I huffed, pushing the door closed and taking a step closer to them.

"It's just something Samuel's been doing – grilling them for information."

"You mean torturing them for information," Dean corrected.

"Seriously?" I asked, a look of disgust flashing on my face.

"Well, you know – that, that response from you two, that's why you weren't supposed to know. You'd just ruin it."

"So not telling us, not telling me, was that his idea?"

"No, that was my idea."

"Why?"

"You'd mess it up. Dean, you always shoot first, ask questions later. And she's like fricken PETA for monsters over there. Can't torture anything around her without inducing some sort of moral rant."

"You see, Sam that's an issue. You just faulted your own damn sister for having a rant about something being immoral. Do you even want your soul back, Sam? You seem to like being a sadistic bastard."

"That's got nothing to do-,"

"We were taught better than this."

"Well I'm sorry I don't agree with you. That's why I kept you out of it."

"You don't agree because you don't have a soul, Sam! You talk about me being naïve. Do you even know what he's doing to them? Why he's doing it…? Did it ever occur to you that this is just a little on the shady side?"

"Honestly? No. He's our grandfather. He's family," Sam answered. This version of him was so calculated. So one-dimensional.

"You seriously cannot see any problem with this? You're blindly trusting the man and you don't even know what he's after. You don't even care! You don't have any instinct. You can't read people. Sam, no one is keeping you here. You came to us, but if we're going to do this, we do it my way because you don't even know basic right from wrong. I make the decisions and you tell me everything. Hell, you know what, this goes for you too, Nora. I don't care if you don't think it's important. I don't care if you think I'll get mad. I need to know what's going on so we can deal with stuff."

"Yeah 'cause you tell us everything," I mumbled.

Dean glanced at me, but didn't respond before looking back at Sam.

"Or, you know what? If that doesn't work for you, you can go back to Samuel's. Go hunt alphas with your family. See how well that goes for you."

Sam didn't offer an answer and I stayed quiet.

"Get back in the car, Nora," Dean said as he came around the vehicle and opened the driver's side door. I did as I was told and it was silent for a long time before Sam spoke up to relay an idea, an idea that he could find out what Samuel was doing all of this for. Dean agreed and then they both went silent again before we dropped Sam off at the compound. Dean took us down the road where he pulled off to the side and put the car in park. It was the first time that we had time alone for a while, aside from when he yelled at me the night before. I was mentally preparing for a repeat performance. He turned around to look at me.

"You ready to talk?"

I nodded once.

"Come up here."

I climbed over the seat and scooted over to the passenger side door. He was studying my face and I could tell that he was just trying to figure out what kind of discussion we were about to have based on my current attitude. Was he going to have to yell? Was I going to cry? Were we going to solve anything? I wasn't sure where it was going either, but I was grateful that his tone was lighter than it had been 24 hours earlier.

"We have to figure out a different way for you to be mad at me because what you've been doing the last few days is not going to fly."

I was slightly disappointed that this was Dean's opening statement.

"Well maybe you shouldn't make me mad then," I answered defensively.

"I wasn't trying to upset you; you know that."

"I wasn't trying to disrespect you," I answered.

"That's a lie," Dean ground out, clearly unimpressed.

"Well what am I supposed to do when I don't agree with your choices?"

"You're still a kid, Nora. You don't get to make these decisions. You follow my instructions, you respect my choices whether you agree with it or not," Dean answered.

"You almost killed him. I'm sorry that I got upset because you almost killed Sam. You almost killed our brother. And I wanted you to stop. I begged you to stop and you just ignored me. It didn't need to happen like that. You want to know how hard it is to be helpless in that situation. How hard it was to watch you do that to Sam?"

"He's not our brother. That thing is not Sam, not really. You know that."

I nodded. I knew it wasn't really Sam. That the Sam we loved was trapped in hell within his soul.

"I don't think it was the wrong thing to do, Nora. I made the call and I stand by it, but I wish that you hadn't to seen it. I wish you didn't have to be a part of any of this."

That was Dean's apology. He didn't say he was sorry, but I knew the sentiment was there in between the lines.

"I really needed you. I needed to talk to you after all of that happened with all that stuff she said, but I couldn't," I said.

"You can always talk to me, kiddo. You know that I'm always here for that," he answered.

I nodded. In general, it was true.

"But, Nora, I'm serious. If this is how life is going to be. If you're going to be with Sam and me on the road, we've got to have some hard rules. Rules that you need to follow without hesitation. You can't just disregard what I say because you disagree. You have to follow direct orders no matter what. You have to keep the attitude out of it. I just…If you're mad, if you're being spiteful, if you aren't following orders, you're going to get hurt and I refuse to let that happen. The stakes are too high. I don't care if you think I'm being strict. I don't care if you think I'm being too much like dad. There's too much going on for me not to be. If you don't follow the rules…Just promise me you're going to follow the rules. I don't want to be dad, you know that. But I will if I have to. At least with him, you listened and you were safe."

"You know, the real reason I always listened to Dad is because I was scared of him."

"I know. That's why I hope that you'll be able to understand that everything I do, it's because I've got your best interests at heart, okay?"

"Okay," I answered.

"Okay?" he asked, "That's it? No fighting me?"

I nodded "Do you regret doing that to Sammy?" I asked.

"Regret it? No. Do I wish I never had to? Yes. I don't want to hurt either of you…ever, but Nora, you have got to accept that it's not really Sam. It may be his gigantic body and his smarts, but it's not him, ok? We can't trust him. We have to take everything with a grain of salt. I don't even know that he'll come back tonight. For all we know, he could decide to stay with Samuel, take up torturing as a hobby."

"De, I…I want the real Sammy back. What if he's hurting? And what about all the stuff Veritas said? What if something bad happened to me? What if I'm evil or-" I felt the tears brimming as a hard lump formed in my throat. I cut myself off before I let out a sob.

I was huddled in the corner of the front seat of the car. My arms were wrapped tight around my body in an attempt to hold it all together, my eyes fighting to hold in tears that were begging to spill, pain clearly painted on my face.

"Hey, hey. It's okay…" Dean reached out to pull an arm away from my body so he could take hold of my hand, "Kiddo, come here."

Dean pulled me over to him, putting me under his arm, "Don't worry about what she said. You're not evil. And we're going to get our Sammy back, ok? I promise."

I cried, letting out a few big sobs and Dean leaned his chin on my head while rubbing circles on my back. At some point, the sobs changed to heavy breathing and before the conversation went any further, I was sleeping soundly, my head resting on my brother's chest.


	18. Chapter 18

I woke up to the sound of Dean humming along to Journey's "Wheel in the Sky." I looked up and Dean glanced down at me. He had one hand on the steering wheel and the other leaning across the back of the seat. I sat up straight and stretched, bumping into Sam in the process. I quickly withdrew my hand and worked to give both brothers some space. The middle of the front seat had been my favorite spot in the Impala growing up, right in between Dean and my dad or between Dean and Sam, but these days it was a tighter fit. I scanned the side of the road for signs, but there was nothing. As far as I could tell, we were driving down some back road in the middle of nowhere.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"We're tracking Samuel," Sam answered.

For a brief moment I thought of asking about the details of that statement. Honestly, I was just surprised to see Sam had come back. The fact that he also found a way to track where Samuel was taking the alpha went above and beyond what I had begun to expect from this version of Sam.

"I didn't think you were coming back. I'm glad you did," I said quietly.

"Don't sweat it," he answered, "You two really have no faith in me."

He made eye contact with me because I was closest to him, but I was glad when Dean stepped in to answer, "Man, do you really blame us?"

Sam shrugged in response.

"Well how much further is it?" I asked, "I need to stretch my legs."

"They pulled off of this highway about an hour's drive from here," Sam answered.

"And sorry to tell you, princess, but you won't be stretching anything at this stop," Dean added

"De!" I protested. I didn't know why I expected anything different. I had agreed to his conditions after all. Agreed to follow his lead, be a good little soldier. It wouldn't be as hard if he didn't want this little soldier to sit out the majority of the missions.

"Kiddo, no. There's an alpha in there. You're not ready for that."

"Sam?" I prompted out of habit, turning to him.

"If it was up to me I'd let you come. You could use the practice after what happened with that shifter. But Dean says I don't get a vote anymore."

"Dean, c'mon this isn't fair!"

"What did I just tell you? What conversation did we just finish having? Your best interests, Nora, not me being fair."

"Well, that's just stupid. I could at least stand guard or something."

"You're going to," he answered, "You're going to sit your butt right here in the front seat and keep an eye on my baby."

"How is this even in my best interest? What if some creepy monster sees some little girl all alone and-," I reasoned, turning towards him in the seat.

"Nora," he warned, his voice a bit deeper, "Cut it," he said, giving me a look that caused me to shrink back.

"Fine," I answered, folding my arms across my chest and leaning my head back against the seat so I could stare at the ceiling.

A few minutes passed before Dean nudged me in the side, "Don't be a brat, Nellie. I don't want this to be a fight."

"It's not. You're the boss, sir," I answered, trying to keep the sarcasm from my voice, but out of the corner of my eyes I saw Dean roll his own before I tilted my head back again and closed my eyes, pretending to sleep.

Eventually, we took a left turn down a driveway and Dean slowed the car to a stop. Before I even opened my eyes I felt a rough hand on each of my wrists as cool metal slid around them. Dean secured one cuff to the steering wheel while Sam secured the one in his hand to the hole in the metal part of the seat belt, which allowed for some movement, but not enough to be helpful in escaping.

"Seriously?" I whined, "C'mon guys! This is completely unnecessary."

"This isn't our first rodeo, Nora Winchester. We learn from our mistakes."

I groaned and tried to put my hands across my chest, but was stopped abruptly when the cuffs were pulled taut just shy of reaching my chest. Dean and Sam both doubled over laughing.

"It's not funny. This is considered child abuse. I hate you guys!"

Dean had finally stopped laughing and he looked to me, "Well, thankfully for you, it's not my job to be well-liked. It's my job to raise you right and make sure you don't get killed," Dean answered.

"Yeah, alright John," I scoffed.

"Nora, just sit tight, alright? Don't do anything stupid. No playing escape artist," Dean said.

"I don't think I'm going anywhere, Dean," I said, gesturing to the hardware.

"That's the point, kiddo. We'll be back soon."

"And what if you're not?" I asked my tone serious.

"Guess you'll have to gnaw your arm off," Sam offered.

"Pleasant," I answered, "Dean?"

"We'll be back," he confirmed, "Just sit tight, kiddo. Just show me you can do that."

Once the boys were out of sight, I actively struggled to get out of the cuffs. Even if I didn't leave the confines of the Impala, I felt the drive to free myself from the restraint, if only to prove I could. I continued on and off for an hour until my wrists started to feel raw and I settled down, waiting for my brothers. My mind wandered to Jack, to home. It had been a crazy couple of days and I hadn't heard from Jack since I told him I was going on the road with the boys. Or maybe I had, but once it was decided that we weren't going home, I stowed my phone on silent and made a point not to check it. I was lost in thought when I heard the muffled voices of my brothers and then the opening of the car doors.

"Why is it that everything bad seems to involve Crowley these days?" Dean asked Sam as they slid into the car beside me.

"Crowley? What about Crowley? What happened in there?" I asked.

"Good to see you stayed put, kiddo," he answered as though he hadn't even heard my question.

Dean mussed my hair and I glared at his smile.

"You say that as if I made an actual decision to follow your orders. You didn't even give me a chance to prove that I can listen. Want to let me out of these and tell me what's going on?"

"You know, we wouldn't have to resort to this if we could actually trust you to do what you're told," Dean answered.

Dean and Sam unhooked the cuffs and I rubbed at my wrists

"I did follow orders and I would have with or without-" I started, shutting my mouth when I became aware that Dean was watching me rub at the red patch of irritated skin on my wrists.

"Yeah and for how long did you try to escape before giving up, Houdini?"

I shrugged, knowing it was a lost cause.

"Well either away, how about you escape into the back seat and get some sleep?" he said, thumbing towards the back.

"First off, I slept on the way here. Second off, I want my bedtime story first. What the heck happened in there?" I asked.

"What are you six? Get outta here," Sam said, shooing me towards the backseat.

I shot him a glare, "Your opinion doesn't count, remember?"

"Nora," Dean warned, his patience with playing referee already wearing thin.

"No, Dean you wanted us to be honest with each other, so I'm just trying to be honest with Sam and you need to tell me what happened. You said no secrets."

He groaned, "Fine. Get your butt in the back and we'll tell you on the road."

Dean nudged me and I nudged him back before climbing over the seat. Sending me to the backseat to sleep was just more of the standard on-the-road protocol. Anytime we were driving late at night Dean expected me to try and get some rest. He and Sam would stay up for days at a time, but I always had to get a few hours in or at least pretend to. I knew it was when they had their more interesting conversations, the stuff that they didn't want me to know about. Sam and Dean weren't having many genuine conversations these days, secret or otherwise, but old habits die hard. Sam started talking the second I got settled. For the first time in a while, I was grateful for his lack of soul because that meant he was entirely honest about what had happened, and more blunt than Dean wanted.

When Sam was done, I laid on my back staring at the ceiling considering what it all meant. Our grandfather was working with Crowley, who was now the King of Hell. Crowley knew how to get Sam's soul out of Hell, or at least he claimed to know. And Crowley was looking for purgatory, torturing Alphas with the help of Samuel (and unknowingly, us) to find it. I had forgotten how fast things changed in this world, how things could go from zero to nuclear in a matter of minutes. How we were all just game pieces to be moved, sometimes by us, sometimes by an unknown force, currently by Crowley and Samuel. And on top of that, my mind couldn't push out Jack. I missed him and in a matter of days, thinking of him made me felt nostalgic and I knew that was only because so much had happened and changed since our "date." That world, Jack included, was on the verge of becoming a distant memory. I couldn't stop thinking about how I would have to talk to him eventually. How I would have to find some way to explain this. There was no way the truth was going to cut it; I couldn't do that to him. I pulled my phone out my bag and passed it back and forth between my hands before finally bringing it to life.

While the welcome screen loaded, illuminating the entire back seat, I looked to Dean's reflection in the rear view mirror. It was obvious that he had been watching me for a while. Dean frowned slightly, but he didn't say anything and just turned his eyes back to the road. When he didn't direct me to go to bed, I focused my eyes back on the screen. I had several missed calls and texts, the last of which read ' _So when are you coming home, N?'_ I smiled at the nickname, but I didn't have the heart to look at the rest of the messages. I put my phone back in my bag before curling up and turning my body towards the trunk as my mind swirled. I knew I was going to have to cut myself off from him, that things would have to end. It would be easier if he was mad, but I knew he wouldn't be. I hadn't responded to him for days and he wasn't even slightly annoyed, just curious as to when I would be back. This was exactly why I hadn't wanted to settle down.

* * *

After the Alpha-Samuel-Crowley showdown, Dean decided it would be a good idea to take a few days to regroup. We settled into a small motel room in Buffalo, NY and I was grateful to just lay low for awhile. It took two days of whining, but I was able to convince Dean to take me to Niagara Falls to see some of the sights. Sam was engaged in other pursuits so he didn't join us. He was restlessly searching for a new case, specifically one involving an Alpha. I figured that Dean and I were probably better off without him, though our real Sam would have jumped on the opportunity- forcing us to sit through the informational movie and asking questions of the rangers. Instead, Dean and I strolled through the park briefly and then headed to the casino nearby for the buffet lunch.

We came back to the motel rom in the late afternoon and the first thing I did was to turn up the heat and pull on an extra sweatshirt. I sank into the seat next to Sam at the table and Dean sat across from us, picking up the newspaper that he had started reading before I dragged him out this morning. I found a picture on my phone of Dean and I in front of the falls and slid it over to Sam. It was a selfie. Dean held the camera and we both smiled, our cheeks bright red from the wind and cold, but we were happy. The smile even reached Dean's eyes.

"You should have come with us. It was actually pretty fun. Freezing, but fun."

"I was busy," he answered, barely glancing at the phone before sliding it back across the table to me.

"You're not still seriously considering us working with Crowley?" I asked, leaning over his shoulder to look at the computer screen and his papers.

"What exactly do you think the other option is?" Sam asked while gently shoving my shoulder so I sat back in my seat.

"I don't know. We'll figure something out. We always do," I answered.

"That nescience of yours would almost be charming if it didn't result in so many statements like that one right there."

I scowled at him. I was used to Sam using words I had never heard, but I still knew it was meant as insult. Now that we all knew Sam's soul was missing, this shell of my brother had stopped trying to pretend to care. While he was now generally less concerned with anything I did, which was a blessing, he had also elected to be a jerk whenever the whim struck. Stabs at me were happenstance. Half the time I wanted to punch him, but I knew that for the first time in my life it was highly likely that my usually passive big brother would retaliate.

"Well, great, Sam. You go work with the King of Hell then. Let me know how that works out for you," I spat.

"Hey, you know, it sounds like you're the one who wants my soul back so bad. Maybe you should be the one to cozy up to Crowley."

"Fuck you, Sam," I answered. Dean was clearly listening to us bicker but he didn't say anything. I stood up from my seat with the intention of heading towards the bed to put some distance between Sam and myself.

"That was a little disrespectful, wasn't it?" Sam asked, stopping me with a hand around my wrist. He looked at me with an eye raised and then turned to Dean, "You just going to just sit there and let her talk like that?"

"I'll take care of it. Let her go, Sam," Dean answered, barely looking up from the newspaper in his hands.

Sam smirked at me, dropping my arm before grabbing his jacket, "Well, you two have a good night."

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Out. Don't wait up."

Once he was gone, I sat on the bed and pulled my book into my lap. I read the page I was on a few times, not absorbing anything as I waited for Dean to finally speak up. He kept reading his paper while I watched him over the top of my book.

"You're not in trouble," he said when he noticed me peeking at him, "He's an asshole."

I smiled at him and he folded the paper before putting it down on the table.

"We do need to talk about some stuff though. For starters, all that stuff with Veritas."

"We really don't have to," I countered. I had spent most of my free time in the last few days dwelling on it. Between the dreams and my drifting thoughts, I couldn't stop thinking on it for very long.

"I figured you were going to bring it up today, but since you didn't…" Dean prompted.

"There's nothing to talk about. She was right. I don't remember anything."

"And I don't want you trying to remember anything, Nora. You don't need that right now."

"I'm not _trying_ to remember anything," I answered.

"Well you've been having an awful lot of nightmares the past couple of days," he answered, standing up and walking over to me.

"No I haven't," I answered too quickly for him to believe it.

"Yeah? Then why do I keep waking up in the middle of the night with you burrowed under my covers?"

"Because I don't trust Sam," I answered.

He made a face as he considered it, "I wouldn't blame you if that were true, but we both know that's not it. What are the dreams about?"

I didn't answer and Dean sat down, pulling the book from my hand and closing it before setting it on the bedside table.

"I let you avoid it all day long, Nora. You either talk to me now or you can keep your butt in your own bed tonight."

"You really want to know? Like you're sure we can't just put this on the back burner?" I asked.

"Yeah, Nora, I really want to know. You not sleeping well doesn't ever get to go on the back burner," he answered.

"Fine- In this dream I'm a baby and I'm in the arms of a young woman. We're outside and it's getting dark. We were in an opening in the woods. Creatures came in – vampire, werewolf, djinn, and a bunch other things that I had never seen before. It was like I was being presented and they weren't happy and they started to come after me and the lady holding me. They were trying to pull me away, but then there was this bright light and I wake up. And I know it's stupid and it's not really that scary, but I wake up terrified and- it's stupid, but she said that they did a job on me or whatever, like someone made me forget. I mean, I was gone a whole 10 years and what if the dreams have something to do with-," I stop and Dean is staring at me, "I'm sorry. I know it's stupid."

"It's not stupid. You don't have to justify it."

"I just feel so childish. You and Sam don't-," I started.

"Sam doesn't have a freaking soul! And I have had more than my share of weirdo nightmares. It's part of the job and Sam and I have been at it a lot longer than you. You have nothing to be ashamed of, got it?"

I nodded.

"Good. Do you know where you are in the dream? Who's holding you? Maybe it's Mom?" he said.

I shook my head. I wished it was Mary Winchester holding me, but I knew it wasn't. "I don't know. It doesn't look like her. The lady had brown hair."

"Well it's probably just a dream, kiddo. You've always had a bit of an overactive imagination."

"When has it ever been just a dream, Dean? Sammy's were psychic visions. But yeah, I'm sure it's just my overactive imagination," I deadpanned.

"You aren't Sam," he answered.

"I know I'm not. It's just, what if I'm something bad? Why would someone steal me and hide my memories of it for 10 years? No one does that for good reasons. They do it to create an evil monster."

"You're not. You're my baby sister. You're good. Even when you're being a pain in my ass, you are good to the core."

"I don't think so, Dean," I answered.

"Well, I'm your big brother and I say you have nothing to worry about, so don't worry about it."

"It doesn't work that way," I replied.

We maintained a silent eye contact for a few moments before Dean looked down to his hands, clearly deep in thought.

"You want us to look into it?" he asked.

"Don't you want to? You and Sam both said you wanted to know."

He didn't answer, but I knew he was curious.

"Dean, you know what, it's fine. Don't worry about it. I know Sam's soul is more important right now. I just feel like these nightmares won't go away until I know."

"It's not more important; it's just more time sensitive, but if you want to work on finding out what happened, if you want to know, we'll work on it. We'll have Cas ask around upstairs."

"Yeah? After he gets done asking around about Sam and fighting a civil war? Cas is busy. Maybe we're better off not knowing."

"Maybe, but whatever it is, you have to know it doesn't change anything. You'll still be my-"

"Favorite little girl," I mumbled the words he had spoken to me for years, "I know, Dean."

"You are. You're even in the running for favorite sibling overall these days," he confirmed, mussing my hair.

"In the running? Are you kidding me? I better be the favorite, jerk!"

"Brat," he answered and I laughed. He wouldn't call me a bitch, never had. I launched myself at him, tickling at his sides for a few seconds and causing a giggle to escape his lips before he grabbed my wrists and regained control of the situation. Dean held me down with ease and started tickling me back.

"You will never be able to overtake me. Don't you ever forget that, little girl," Dean said with a smile as I squirmed and screamed until he stopped and sat down next to me on the bed.

"There's one other thing we need to talk about," he said when we both finally stopped laughing.

"That sounds ominous."

"You have to cut that kid loose, Nora. Break things off with him," he said, "I'm not saying it because I don't want you dating, which I don't, but because you can't bring him into this."

"I know," I answered.

"Have you talked to him since you left?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"It's only going to get harder the longer you hold off."

"I know."

"So you want me to go get us some dinner then? Give you some time to take care of things?"

I knew he was going whether I agreed or not so I nodded even though I didn't want to call Jack. I didn't want to break up with him, but I knew Dean was going to keep bringing it up until I did. He headed out within a few minutes, leaving me alone in the room. Jack answered on the third ring.

"Hey Jack," I breathed into the phone, "You busy?" I felt my voice crack as I said the words.

"No, not busy. Is everything okay?" he said.

"Not exactly, Jack. I'm, um, I'm not going to be coming home. I'm staying on the road with my brothers and I, well, I'm sorry I haven't called in so long."

He let out a quiet laugh before he spoke, "Nora, it's only been a few days. Slow down. You said you're not coming home?"

"Dean and Lisa kind of broke up," I answered.

"Where are you going then?" he asked.

"Wherever my brothers need to be for work. That's how it goes," I answered.

"What about school?" he asked.

I hadn't thought about that yet and neither had Dean, obviously. That was really always Sam's priority, not Dean's.

"I don't know. They've home-schooled me before. Jack that's not the point. I just called to let you know I won't be back. And that I'm sorry, but you'll be better off without-,"

"Hey, wait. Slow down. What about long distance? If you guys are traveling, you'll be passing through every now and then. And next year I'll be in college so-"

"No Jack. I can't," I answered.

I didn't want to hear Jack's solution to our problem. Me being on the road wasn't the real problem. Monsters were the real problem. Demons were the real problem. Soulless brothers and purgatory and repressed memories were the real problems and that wasn't something he could fix, let alone even know about.

"You're brothers won't let you? I know Dean probably wasn't happy about-" Jack started.

"No, that's not it," I cut him off. I almost felt bad at hearing him sigh in frustration.

"Then what is it?" he answered, finally relaying the slightest hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Jack, I just can't. I don't want to do this with you anymore, okay? I told you I don't like to get settled. We never should have...I'm sorry. I have to go. Sorry."

I hung up the phone before my voice broke but he called right back. After his third call, I pulled out the battery and threw it across the room. Jack and I had been close to normal. Sure we were just kids, but I liked him and it felt good and in another life, our biggest problem would have been my overprotective brothers. Maybe we would fight when he went to college, maybe we would break up, but it wouldn't have been like this. I wouldn't have had to lie to him, but it was for his own good and for mine too.

When Dean came through the door almost an hour later, he pulled me up and into his arms. I wasn't crying, but I had curled up into a ball on the bed staring at the wall.

"I didn't need that much time alone," I mumbled.

"I know, but I figured you'd need this." Dean slipped a simple prepaid phone into my hand, a phone that would successfully cut me off from that life. From Jack.

"Thanks," I mumbled absently.

He placed a kiss on my forehead, "You did the right thing, Nora."

"It doesn't feel right," I answered, "It feels awful."

"I know," he answered, "But it was. You did him a favor."

I nodded though I didn't believe him.

"So what are we doing tonight, kiddo?" he asked.

"Having a few stiff ones to numb the feelings," I suggested sarcastically.

He let out a shocked laugh, "Yeah, maybe for me, but not for you, short stuff. You wanna watch a movie?"

"Yeah, I'll find something," he threw the remote to me and I flipped through the channels while flopping back down on the bed. I stopped when I saw one of my favorites, The Departed.

"Good one," he said as he slid next to me on the bed with our food, drink in hand. He handed me his glass.

"I'll let you have a sip every now and then but if I ever catch you drinking without me before you turn 21, I'll kick your ass, got it?" he said. I nodded and took a sip of his drink. The room temperature liquid burned my throat and I handed the glass back to him while coughing.

"Blegh! You can keep it. That's poison, Dean. What the heck is that crap?"

"The cheapest whiskey money can buy," he answered with a grin, "Hunter's little helper."

"It's disgusting."

"It's called an acquired taste, kiddo. And hopefully you won't acquire it for a few more years."

"Or ever," I answered, "Your poor liver must be practically rotted out fr-."

"Alright, this is a good part. Shut it," he said as he handed me a container of vegetable lo mein and started eating from his own container.

* * *

Hours later I woke up in a panic in the darkness of the motel room. I turned over, ready to crawl across the space between our beds to find Dean, but instead found his arms around me as he woke up.

"You're okay, kiddo," he said drowsily, pulling me closer to him, "You want to talk about it?"

I shook my head into his chest as I willed my breathing to slow itself. He smoothed my hair back from my face.

"It's okay. Just calm down and go back to sleep then, I've got you. Nothing's going to take you away from me."

* * *

A day later, we were on the move for the sake of being on the move. The boys had yet to find something that looked like our kind of case, but neither of them wanted to stay put any longer. I wouldn't have minded another few days at the Blue View Motel so much but they were both getting antsy. Still, I couldn't complain. We were moving at a casual pace and at the very least, we were eating well on our trip through upstate NY, hitting every barbecue place Dean could find.

"You care at all that you look like a pig?" Sam asked as we sat at the table waiting for Dean to come sit down with us. There wasn't exactly a ladylike or proper way to to ribs.

"You care at all that every time you open your mouth you sound like a jackass?" I replied, licking my fingertips as I waited for his response.

Sam and I had started to find enjoyment in the regular exchange of rude comments, especially when Dean wasn't around to put a stop to it. It was like the childhood that we should have had, only years later. It was almost like we were loving siblings playfully digging at one another only there was nothing playful or loving behind the comments.

"You really should teach little midge here that children are meant to be seen and not heard. And some table manners. Simple life skills, boys."

I groaned at the sound of the Scottish accent.

"F off, Crowley. What are you even doing here?" I said.

"Didn't your brothers tell you, my sweet? You Winchesters are now in running for Hell's employee of the month award," Crowley answered.

I glared at him.

"I'm not going to tell you again, Crowley. We're not working for you," Dean said as he sat down beside me.

"Is that any way to talk to your supervisor? I mean, you wonder where little Nora here gets the angsty attitude," Crowley sat beside Sam.

"We're not working for you, dick bag," Dean answered.

I stifled a laugh.

"Dean, Dean. We've been over this already. You guys have been working for me for quite some time now."

"We didn't know," Sam answered.

"Oh, like you care. You'd sell these two for a dollar. Probably a penny for the girl," Crowley said, rolling his eyes at Sam.

That comment left me feeling uncomfortable only because it was likely true.

"Look, I've got a job for-," Crowley started.

"No," Dean answered.

"Beg pardon?"

"No," Dean drew out the word a little longer.

Crowley laughed before he continued, "I think you'll change your mind. You like the pain, Sam? It remind you of hell?"

Crowley poked at Sam's hand and Sam flinched away in pain as red fire spread across his skin. Crowley wasn't concerned with Sam's reaction and kept his eyes trained on Dean.

"No, Dean? That doesn't quite do it for you? Well, how about little sis? You like pain, darling? Want to show me that you're strong and brave like Moose and Squirrel?"

He jabbed his finger to my hand and I felt a deep burn but tried to hold in a scream as I pulled my hand back to my chest.

"You three really need to stop thinking of this as some sort of negotiation. This is a hostage situation you arrogant little thugs! I own Sam's soul. I have the power to do to you three whatever I please. I own the Winchesters. You will do the job and you will show the King of bloody Hell a little respect. Can your thick Winchester skulls understand that?

Crowley snapped his fingers and the pain fled from my hand though none of us had responded to him.

"No? That's disappointing. If that's not enough motivation for you, I guess I will just have to heighten the stakes. Make you a bit more invested in the cause."

He looked to me.

"Looks like the little midge is coming to stay with Uncle Crowley. Bring me an alpha and I won't do more than teach the kid a few manners."

Crowley threw a newspaper down on the table and though Dean had moved to stand in front of me, he was too late. Crowley placed a hand on my shoulder and in an instant the world faded to black.


	19. Chapter 19

I woke up in a warm bed and instinctively pulled the covers closer, curling up in their warmth. The sheets were so softer than any thread count that had ever touched my skin and the comforter felt dense and warm. The sides of the pillow folded up around my head because of its fluff. A moment passed as I snuggled in the bed before I realized that I was still fully dressed and that the 4-star bedding was too good for me and my brothers. I shot up out of the covers and looked around the room for a clue as to where I was. As to how I got to be in a hotel room this nice. A clue as to how I got to… _New York City_? Pulling the curtains to the side, I could see lights, skyscrapers and what I knew had to be Central Park. I had been there once before with Sam, Dean and my father, but I barely remembered the trip aside from the day Dean brought me to see the Balto statue in the park after I begged mercilessly for hours. That night, Dean had decided to sneak out to some club and got chewed out by our father. I smiled at the thought. It was one of the only times we visited someplace for a reason other than a case.

And then while looking out over the park, I remembered that before this, I had been eating ribs with Dean and Sam at a barbecue joint outside of Buffalo. I remembered Crowley. I remembered him threatening to take me. My eyes scanned the room for anything to get me out of here. The room was in a suite that much I could tell. I was almost sure that there was a demon guarding the other side of the door. I cursed myself remembering that when my brothers and I went for lunch I had left my cellphone sitting in the backseat of the Impala. There was no phone in the room, nothing even resembling a weapon. I stood flat against the wall beside the large armoire when I heard the door slide open.

"A little too big for hide and go seek, aren't you?" Crowley said, observing me in my position, half hidden from his view, "Come out a join the party, Nora."

I didn't move, "Sweetheart, don't be a party pooper. I thought you'd be happy to spend a little time away from those two oafs and their faithful feathered friend."

"Don't hold your breath," I answered, "Dean bought me ribs that I'll never get to eat because of you."

Crowley raised an eyebrow at me.

"You're upset about missing out on a bloody barbecue?"

"I'm upset about a lot of things right now!" I retorted, stepping out from my hiding space.

"I believe the kids these days are calling your mood 'hangry.' You humans and your meals. Come. Sit. Eat. I apologize if it's a bit classier than what you're used to."

I scowled at him, but hesitantly followed him towards the other room in the suite. There were a few demons scattered around the room, standing guard at the doors.

"Don't pay them any mind. They're here for protection. Sit," he said, gesturing to the seat across from him at the table.

"Why am I here?" I asked, unable to take my eyes from the demons. I could barely take on a monster on my own with weapons and I felt even more vulnerable without them.

"Mostly because I needed your brothers to be a bit more passionate about their mission and let's just say you usually get in the way a bit on these hunts."

I often found it hard to read Crowley. My brothers had done a decent job of shielding me from him and thus from knowing him and his antics too well. We had the occasional interactions, mainly consisting of me insulting him and he referring to me with a multitude of contradictory nicknames including in his favorites both sweetheart and little midge, which from my research I knew translated to little gnat. But Crowley and I had never had a conversation, never a negotiation, never struck a deal.

"So you're putting me up in the Ritz?" I asked, finally sitting and directing my attention to him.

"The Plaza, actually. And for all your brothers know, I have my best men slicing you up in hell."

Crowley took a sip of his drink, crossing his leg over his knee.

"And why don't you?" I asked tentatively.

"Because, sweetheart, I have got better uses for you. You know things and I intend to uncover those details," he answered.

"Like?" I pressed.

"Like…how best to word this…shut your mouth and eat. You don't get to ask questions. I get to ask questions. You get to sit there, look pretty and do as I say, so eat."

"I'm not hungry," I answered, forming a flat line with my mouth and folding my arms across my chest.

"Tie her up," he said, absently waving his hand in the direction of the room where I had been sleeping just minutes before.

One of the demons guarding the door grabbed my upper arm, pulling me up out of the chair. I pushed away from him trying to free myself, but I was no match for him.

"Use force as necessary," Crowley said, smiling at me as he took a drink, "But do be gentle to the face."

"You fucking sicko pedoph-," I answered, still trying to push away from the demon but he punched me in the stomach and I doubled over in pain, only still standing because the demon was holding me up in his arms.

"You know what, Elijah, do forget what I said about the face, but do remember even though she doesn't look like much, she is still a Winchester."

The demon let out a laugh and dragged me back to the room, shoving me into a chair and securing me to it. He punched me a few times in the face and in the torso when I struggled against him. I groaned when he secured the chains around my wrists and around the chair. I knew how to get out of handcuffs. I knew how to slip out of ropes, but I had never been secured with chains from a medieval dungeon. After locking my hands, he moved to my legs, securing each of them to a chair leg.

"You think this will keep me?" I bluffed, kicking the foot he was trying to secure and hitting him in the face. His fist collided again with my gut and I felt the wind knocked out of me as I slumped over.

"She's my toy to play with, Elijah. Wouldn't want to knock her out before your King gets his turn," Crowley spoke. I pulled my head up for a moment to look at him as he strode into the room.

"Yes, of course, sir," the demon answered, moving quickly to secure my last ankle to the chair.

"Out," Crowley snapped.

The demon moved quickly from the room, closing the door behind him and Crowley sat down on the bed less than a foot away from me, opening the black bag he brought in with him.

"First things first, darling, you are in desperate need of a lesson in basic manners."

"From who? You? You're a fucking douche bag crossroad demon! Only king because you're a vulture."

"You know, you would almost be pleasant if you didn't take right after that squirrely big brother of yours."

He had taken a knife in his hand and was trailing the blade back and forth slowly across my jean clad knee. I wished I could pull away from him.

"You see, you're so quick to write me off as an enemy. You're a Winchester. Eventually you're destined to find yourself in my hell, like your brothers, like your father. You should learn to hold that tongue before you get there…Yes, eventually, you will get your turn down in my domain, but for now, I'll just give you a little preview of what happens to disrespectful little midges in a hell where the _douche bag crossroad demon_ is king."

I felt my eyes go wide.

"You and I are going to be spending quite a bit of time together from here on out. I want you to understand that how pleasant our time together will be, well, it will be entirely up to you."

"Fuck you, Crowley," I grumbled.

"Wrong answer," he replied, pulling the knife slowly down from the collar bone to the top of my chest. The cut wasn't deep, but I felt the warm blood spill onto my skin. I bit down on my lip to avoid yelling out, sensing the rusty taste of blood in my mouth. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the chair willing myself to ignore the searing pain.

"You see, I'm not so lenient with disrespect. I know you're stubborn, family trait, but I do hope you're not stupid. I have got some questions for you, sweetheart and when I have questions, I get my answers. Understood?"

I stared behind him at a small imperfection in the wall, a dent where the door handle had slammed against the wall too many times. Using the knife, Crowley directed my gaze to his with his knife leaning against the side of my face.

"Darling, there is much more where that little scratch came from. Are you ready to talk?"

"What do you want? I don't know anything that could be useful to you! I'm just a kid. Dean and Sam don't tell me anything."

"Now, we both know that's not true. You know plenty on your own without Thing 1 and Thing 2. There's been quite a bit of talk about you while torturing these alphas. You're quite famous in the supernatural world, at least to them. Not particularly fond of you, actually," Crowley paused, looking for my reaction, but moved on, "You know, your mother had tried to make a deal with Azazel, to save Moose in exchange for you. Though he never agreed to a deal, he did come back for you. You do have that demon blood in you, just like your brother. Has it ever affected you?"

He looked to me and raised the knife when I didn't answer right away, "I asked a question, Nora."

I shook my head. My dreams had been vivid from the time I was little. Sometimes, like recently, they were nightmares. Sometimes, they were memories. Sometimes, they see"med like riddles. Sometimes, they seemed like the future. But they were just dreams.

"Do not tell me lies," Crowley growled out.

"I don't know. I don't know anything about any of it," I answered, "Sam got all of the powers."

"You know you were missing for 10 years," he replied.

"No, I don't _know_ that. I've been told that. I don't remember anything. I was just a baby."

Crowley pushed the knife tip through my jeans covering my thigh, but stopped before pushing through my skin.

"I don't know anything."

The knife dived quickly into my thigh and Crowley left it sitting there as he sat straight up looking at me as a scream escaped my lips.

I felt the knife twist as he took it in his hand again and I screamed out again in agony, gasping between words, "I have dreams sometimes. They feel like they're real. Like visions."

"That's much better," he answered, pulling the knife from my leg. I let out another scream as the blade pulled against my skin.

"Details, sweetheart. Please do share with the class."

"I see things. Things that have happened, things that are going to happen, memories," I gasped out hoping he was done with the knife, "I can't control it."

Crowley began to put the tools away and I let out relieved breath, "I do think it's time for a little dream sleep study, sweetheart. I need to see what's in that pretty little head of yours even if you are too oblivious to see it yourself. Play nice with your guards, Winchester," he said as he stood up and left the room.

I focused on trying to release the binds so I could care to my wounds. So I could find a way out of here, a way back to my brothers. I knew that I could release myself from the iron bindings by breaking the bones in my hand, but I couldn't bring myself to go through with it. I felt myself coming close to passing out as the blood flowed freely from my thigh. I needed to cut off the blood supply and put pressure on it.

"Princess."

The voice sent chills down my spine. It was Christian's favorite nickname for me. A nickname that I hated and he used just because he knew that. Dean and Sam told me that Christian had been being possessed by a demon for a while. While Dean wasn't a fan of him, possessed or otherwise, he was still family.

"Christian?" I said, hoping I could reach my distant cousin's soul, which was hopefully in there somewhere. I hoped that Christian could find it within himself to fight for me even though I had never shown him an inch of kindness.

But the man who came to stand in front of me wasn't Christian. He was younger, probably nearer to Sam's age and he wore a suit like Crowley. He had dirty blonde curls styled messy on top of his head. His facial structure was composed of straight lines and a strong chin. Light blue eyes bore into mine.

"For a time that was what they called me, but I traded that suit in for an upgrade. I can't be certain who is wearing him now. My given name is Nybbas, but I have found that to be a bit stuffy in the last few centuries. I enjoy a less formal relationship with my hostages. Please do call me Bas."

He studied me for a moment.

"You look confused, my dear."

"You were wearing my cousin," I answered plainly.

"Yes, well, the King needed someone to watch over your grandfather and his dreams, to be sure Samuel wasn't keeping any information from him. The same goes for you. Crowley needs to know what you're hiding in that pretty little head."

He moved to touch my head and I turned my face to the side and away from him.

"I don't know anything," I answered. He took hold of my chin and turned my face towards him.

"You know much more than you think you do. Now, let's get you cleaned up before you bleed out. Your dreams won't tell me too much if you're dead. And I'm sorry to say Princess, but demons don't do pain killers."

He set to cleaning my wounds. Bas wasn't gentle or respectful as he handled my body, his hands moving roughly over my skin. I cringed away from his touch and closed my eyes, waiting for him to finish.

"Princess, you have nothing to fear. As Crowley said, you decide how this will go. So, unless you relish in the pain," he said while pushing an alcohol soaked cloth into the cut on my chest. My lips released a light whimper and a gasp escaped my lips. He paused, releasing the pressure from the wound, "No, not a fan? Then just do as I say. Respect the King's wishes; respect my wishes. You're a smart girl. I'm sure you understand."

As he pulled the cloth away completely, the burning sensation began to dull. I was thankful that the wound on my chest didn't need stitches. I was uncomfortable enough with him touching me, the way he looked at me like I was a piece of meat. But Bas still made a production of placing the large bandage over the wound and holding it in place with his flattened palm while he secured it with medical tape. I felt my blood pounding in my ears. I saw a smirk pull across his face.

"Are you afraid of or excited by my touch, Princess?"

I didn't answer and he frowned, moving a hand to my leg and ripping my jeans open to get access to the wound. He pushed a new alcohol-drenched cloth into the opening, bringing tears to my eyes and a scream to my lips as I pulled at the chains.

"You'll answer all questions without hesitation, understood?"

I glared at him, tears staining my cheek as I tried to get my breathing back under control. At my lack of answer, the back of his hand collided with the side of my face. A deep sting grew in my cheek from the repeated attacks.

"Understood?" he growled.

I nodded and he smacked me again.

"I want to hear your answers!"

"Yes…yes, I understand," I said quickly as he raised his hand for a third time.

"Good girl. Now let's get you stitched up," he replied, his tone again light.

He took the needle to my skin, stitching me up roughly. He took his sweet time before finally announcing that he was finished and that I should prepare myself for bed. He undid my binds and directed me towards the bathroom, allowing me to shut the door behind me. I sunk to the ground on the other side of the door and felt the tears start to flow. I put my hand to my mouth to contain the sobs.

When I finally was calm enough I pushed myself off of the floor and walked to the sink to wash my face and what I could of my body while keeping the bandages dry. On the corner of the sink sat a nightgown and a robe, both of which I pulled on before taking a deep breath and heading back out to the room. I hadn't played hostage many times before, but Crowley had a different take on it. If it wasn't for the torture and bondage, it would almost feel like a vacation.

When I entered the room, I headed straight for the bed and pulled the covers up to my head without looking around, afraid of making eye contact with my new friend Bas. Still, I knew he was there as he flicked the lights off in the room.

I missed our crappy motel rooms. I missed the flattened pillows, the scratchy sheets, and the thin blankets which required me to sneakily move closer steal heat from Sam and Dean. I even missed this new version of Sam. Soul or not, I would have rather been with him. I willed myself to stay awake for as long as I could, to avoid the dreams for as long as I could, to avoid my subconscious blabbering off intelligence I didn't even know I had. It was almost an hour later when I heard Bas' voice.

"It takes the average human 14 minutes to fall asleep. You need to stop fighting."

"I'm not tired," I mumbled.

"You are."

"I have trouble sleeping," I insisted.

"Well, maybe this will help," Bas said. Though it was dark in the room, I had heard his voice grow louder, signifying that he was standing close by. He pulled back the sheets and before I could shield myself, I felt his fist collide with my face between my lower jaw and ear. The pain was excruciating for a brief moment before I passed out on the pillow.


	20. Chapter 20

_I was swaddled in the same blanket that my mother had swaddled Dean, Sam and I in during our infancy, the pattern stood out in my mind, three small bears holding different colored balloons. I was in the woman's arms again, her brown hair in soft waves falling around her shoulders, tickling my face when she leaned close to put her lips to my forehead. I felt safe. I felt loved. I felt wanted, needed even. The woman placed her palm to my cheek and I could see the men, hear their voices. I was aware that they weren't physically there with us, but I could still see them. The woman held my close to her chest as we huddled together in the back of what seemed to be a small cave._

" _My sons, this little girl, our sweet Eleanora…she is our future. She will take care of you when I cannot. She will lead when you need to be united. She will settle the oldest score. She was sent to us for this purpose," she murmured, her finger trailing the line of my face._

" _She is a mere human girl, mother. I mean no disrespect, but-," one of them spoke, an African man._

" _She will be strong one day. She is already so strong. She has already been through so much to get here," the woman holding me insisted, interrupting him, "And you will bring her no harm, any of you. You will protect her as one of your own."_

" _As you wish, mother," he answered obediently, disappearing as a bright light shone in the cave. T_ _he woman turned away from the light, placing me gently in the corner before she stood to fight the intruders, attempting to keep herself between the forms and me. I could make out the human-like forms in the light, but not their faces. One of the men came closer to me while the woman was distracted by the men overtaking her. He pulled me up and into his arms and we were gone, an emptiness filling me._

I woke in a cold sweat, instinct bringing my brother's names to my lips in a quiet whimper. I scanned the room quickly looking for signs of either one of the boys. I struggled to control the panic taking over my body, manifesting itself with a painful tightness in my chest and shallow breathing. The panic grew stronger once saw Bas' face and remembered that Dean and Sam weren't here with me. They wouldn't be able to comfort me. They couldn't tell me it was okay. They couldn't save me. I was on my own in this. Bas was watching as I attempted to calm myself, focusing on the feeling of the blankets against my skin, grounding myself in the room, grounding myself in this reality.

"Sorry, No one here by those names, princess," Bas said from beside me where he sat in the chair that just hours before had been used to restrain me for torture. His leg was crossed over at the knee, his elbows resting on the arms of the chair. He leaned forward, resting his chin in his hands, "But that's all well and good. Quite an impressive dream, very detailed, realistic. Let's talk about what just transpired in your mind, shall we?" he didn't seem to require an answer from me as he continued on, "Who was she?" he asked.

"I don't know," I answered, pulling the covers closer.

"That answer is going to get old quite quickly, princess. And believe me, you do not want me growing tired of you."

I cringed away from him at the threat. My body was already sore from the torture inflicted a few hours ago, the pain already settling into a deep ache, "I've only seen her a few times before…just in the dreams. I don't know who she is."

I didn't know her, but even now after being awake for a few minutes, I missed her presence. I felt an emptiness inside. He nodded, accepting my answer although I had a feeling he wouldn't accept that vague of an explanation for much longer.

"And the others? Who are they?"

"I've only ever seen them in the dreams," I answered, "I've never seen the second man before."

Again he nodded, contemplating what I had said. I couldn't escape the feeling that he knew more about this than I did. His face was screwed up in thought, like he was working out the placement of puzzle pieces. He was putting pieces together that I didn't even know existed. I had yet to even open the box.

"Let's see what else is in that pretty little head of yours. I assume you won't want my help getting back to sleep?" he said as he leaned back in his chair. I welcomed the suggestion without hesitation and turned my body away from Bas, pulling the blankets to my face for more warmth, for a sense of safety, flinching when my cheek touched the pillow. I knew that I would have been more comfortable laying on the other side. As I faced away from Bas, I had to lay on my injured leg and put my bruised cheek down on the pillow. As I tried to find a comfortable position, a tear slid from my eye, but I couldn't face him.

* * *

I woke up in a sun-filled room after a seemingly dreamless sleep. I could sense Bas' presence in the room even though my face was pushed into my pillow with covers pulled close to my face, obscuring my view. I steadied my breathing and remained quiet, hoping to prolong the peace, a trick I was familiar with from countless attempts to eavesdrop on Sam and Dean from the back seat of the Impala. I shifted my body slightly to release the stiffness in my leg and forcing a quick intake of breath when the stitches pulled.

"Good, you're awake. Good morning," Bas said.

I turned over on my back, careful of the stitches and gave him a small nod in response, "Where's Crowley?" I mumbled, slowly sitting myself up and straightening the robe to cover as much skin as possible.

Bas nodded towards the main room and I swung my legs over the side of the bed, intending to head towards the door. At standing up, I felt a resilient pounding in my head, the soreness in my leg and the emptiness in my stomach. I felt weak. I wasn't cut out for this. If Crowley maintained his current torture schedule, I was confident that I wouldn't make it until my brother's got to me. I took a few steps towards the door, but had to grab the post at the end of the bed for stability as a wave of lightheadedness hit me. I took a few deep breaths as my body adjusted to being upright and continued towards the door. Crowley was sitting at the table, a tray with bacon, eggs and French toast set across from him untouched. My mouth immediately started salivating and I pulled my eyes from the food, focusing my attention on the King of Hell who was reading the New York Times and sipping from a tea cup.

"Did all of that beautiful dreaming make my little hostage hungry?" he asked observing me as I ogled the food again now that he mentioned eating.

"Starving," I answered quietly, having learned my lesson the night before on not answering the demons' questions.

"Good, do take a seat. And drink some water. It's important to stay hydrated, especially after giving as much blood as you did."

I knew it was meant as a joke as the corners of his mouth pulled up a bit as he said it. When I didn't acknowledge his humor, Crowley pushed the glass of water towards me and I took the seat across from him, pulling the napkin into my lap, but not touching the food before me.

"Something bothering you, little midge?" he asked when I didn't start eating right away.

I pushed the tray forward and nodded, placing my hands on the on the table and intertwining my fingers to avoid fidgeting.

"Well, do proceed, Miss Winchester. I'm a busy man, being King of Hell and all," Crowley answered, folding the paper he was reading and setting it beside him.

"We need to discuss the terms of this arrangement, Crowley," I commanded, making my voice as strong as I could, hoping that it didn't waver or break as I spoke the words.

"This arrangement?" he asked raising an eyebrow at me, "What do you think this is? We're not partners, Eleanora."

He spoke the word partner as though it disgusted him and he needed to spit it out of his mouth. And then there was the way that he was looking at me. I had never been particularly scared of Crowley. Most of our interactions centered on witty banter between the boys and Crowley. He was only ever truly scary when angered, but as he stared down at me now, his demeanor calm, I couldn't help but feel fear creeping through me, causing a shakiness in my hand.

"I think if we could come to some sort of business agreement, it would be more beneficial to us both," I answered. Crowley's tone made me feel stupid, made me feel naive, little and incompetent. Who was I to try to strike up a deal with the newly crowned King of Hell, the man who had been the King of the Crossroads for centuries, the man who spent his time making daily deals to steal unassuming, innocent souls, "We can help each other," I offered quietly.

"First of all sweetheart, this is a hostage situation. You are my hostage. You are being detained for questioning and torture and whatever else I desire, but because you amuse me, I'll listen to your little proposal," he offered.

I took a deep breath to steady myself, "You told my brother's that you would give me back wh-"

"Those terms were not discussed," Crowley interrupted.

"But-," I started.

"But nothing, sweetheart."

An unintentional pout formed on my face and Crowley looked entertained, "Come now, Eleanora. Be a big girl like those brothers taught you. Negotiate your little deal with the devil."

His condescension sent a wave of anger through me and I glared up at the King of Hell, pulling my arms to my sides, balling my hands into fists and a red blush growing on my cheeks.

"Well then?" he mused.

"I should be exchanged for the first Alpha they give you, as you insinuated," I stated.

"Hmm…as interesting a proposition as that is, I have to say no thank you," he answered simply, "Proceed to the next item."

"You can't just say no!" I argued, slamming my hand down on the table.

"I'm the King of Bloody Hell, little girl. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, even if that means saying no to the simple minded, wide-eyed baby Winchester."

"I am not simple minded and I want to know just as bad as you do! I'll be helpful."

"No, perhaps you're not simple minded, but unfortunately for you little midge, I don't think that you want to know _just as bad as I do_ ," he mocked.

Crowley rolled out a scroll on the table before me.

"These are the terms you will agree to," he declared.

I took the scroll in my hand and pulled the paper towards me. I knew better than to make a deal with Crowley, but I didn't know what else I could do. I couldn't handle the torture, at least not at this caliber and not for much longer. I wasn't cut out for torture. I wasn't strong like Sam and Dean. I needed the hope of being released to get me through. And on top of that all, I did want to know what had happened to me during those ten years. But most importantly, I wanted to get back to my brothers, but I couldn't just agree to the first deal Crowley offered.

"No," I decided after only reading through the first two bullet points, the first of which read that I would be imprisoned until Crowley deemed otherwise, "You will bring me when Sam and Dean capture the next Alpha. I will be cooperative until then and after you release me, I will make sure that they keep working with you."

"And you will inform me in any further developments," he said.

"Meaning?" I asked.

"Meaning that when I call, you will answer and you will not tell the damn Hardy boys anything about it!" he shouted.

"Fine," I answered.

"What else do you have to offer me?" Crowley continued.

"I'll make sure my brothers don't kill you for kidnapping and torturing me. You know that your inevitable and rightly deserved murder will be the first item on their to-do list," I answered with a smirk. He took a moment to consider my comment and I could tell on some level, Crowley feared my brothers, especially now that Sam was such a loose cannon. He was smart to do so and it was probably the only reason I was still alive, probably the only reason that I wasn't being carved to pieces by a demon in the dungeons of hell.

"So the deal currently reads that a one, Miss Nora Winchester will cooperate and submit to any and all attempts to recover those pesky little memories and dreams until such a time that Super Squirrel and Mega Moose bring to Crowley, supreme ruler of hell, an Alpha. Nora Winchester will be brought to the exchange of the Alpha. Any uncooperative measures in the mean time will be dealt with accordingly. At the time following release, Nora will respond to all requests for information and ensure that the Winchesters continue to collect Alphas and do not kill Crowley. Sufficient?"

He waved a hand and the words appeared on the scroll, replacing the previous arrangement. I looked the words over for a moment before looking up to Crowley, my face pinched up in thought.

"They are going to kill me if they find out," I mumbled quietly though I hadn't meant to say the thoughts out loud. At least I wasn't selling my soul or my life, just my cooperation. There was no countdown until the hell hounds arrived. For making a deal with the King of Hell, I was getting off easy.

"Best we not tell them then, sweetheart. Now come give your Uncle Crowley a kiss to seal the deal."

I cringed at his words, my face expressing the obvious disgust.

"We can just shake on it," I offered.

He nodded, "This is how demons seal a deal, little one."

I frowned.

"Oh, don't act like you're so bloody bothered by it." Crowley rolled his eyes at me.

"Fine," I growled at him, "Keep it clean. I'm still a kid," I replied.

"Oh, don't flatter yourself, Winchester," he answered, another eye roll flashed in my direction.

I stood up and leaned over the table, letting my lips barely brush against his for just a second before I pulled away, sitting back in my chair and folding my arms firmly across my chest.

"Now that the business is taken care of my ever-cooperative little doll, eat your breakfast so we can get started with our day."

I didn't argue as I looked down to the plate. I eagerly dug into the food, stuffing myself to an uncomfortable level before pushing the tray away and looking up to Crowley.

"Where's the coffee?" I asked as I looked into the mug filled with tea. Tea was meant for relaxing evenings and reading books, not for mornings after being beaten and cut up by demons.

"You Winchesters and your exorbitant caffeine needs," Crowley mused.

"Is that a yes?" I asked.

"It was a comment. You do realize that you are quite demanding for a hostage?"

My face fell. Of course, he was right.

"But in light of our new arrangement, perhaps we'll get your coffee while we're out."

"You're letting me out of here?" I asked, unable to mask my excitement. Outdoors meant that there was a chance to find help, a chance at escape, and a sliver of hope.

"We need a change of scenery," he answered, "And according to our new agreement, you've elected to be completely cooperative. Surely I don't need to remind you what will happen if you choose to act otherwise."

I shook my head.

"Good, go make yourself presentable then. Cover up that little blemish on your face."

* * *

I was not surprised to find a change of clothes laying on the bed placed beside other necessities- fresh bandages for my wounds, a tooth brush. I took them with me to the bathroom and turned on the shower. As I let the water warm up, I stripped off my clothes and looked myself over in the mirror. I ran my hand over the bruises covering the bulk of my body. The cuts were clean, but still fresh and tender to the touch. I was sorry to say that I had looked worse. I had been on a few hunts with my brothers that had resulted in deeper bruising, broken bones and deeper cuts. Still, I had never seen my face quite like what stared back at me from the mirror. Crowley had referred to it as a "little blemish," but it wasn't little by any means. I winced as I put my finger tip to the deep purple mark covering my cheek and studied my eye, surprised that it wasn't swollen shut, though I suspected it might end up that way before long.

When I grew bored of taking stock of my injuries, I stepped into the shower and welcomed the hot, almost burning, water. The stream of water was so strong and constant, beating down on my back and loosening my stiff, tense muscles. Despite how nice it felt, I would have given anything to be showering in some crappy motel room with lukewarm water, terrible water pressure and my brothers yelling for me to hurry the hell up so we could go get breakfast at some greasy diner.

Covering the "little blemish" took upwards of an hour before my face even looked vaguely presentable. I pulled my wavy dark blonde hair forward, letting the majority of it fall in front of my face. I pulled on the dress that had been left for me, emerald green and long sleeved. It was something I would have bought during the year that Dean and I lived with Ben and Lisa. It wasn't practical, but it was pretty. I pulled on the pair of gray tights provided as well before shrugging into a black pea coat and slipping into the black boots. I took a moment to check myself over in the mirror. I looked important, refined even. Crowley or whatever demon he sent out for shopping for me certainly had good taste when it came to dressing a teenage girl.

I came out into the main room, feeling Crowley's eyes on me.

"Well Winchester, you clean up quite nicely," he said.

I nodded, brushing off his compliment. Crowley stepped towards me, grabbing my chin in his hand and gripping roughly when I tried to pull away. He waited until he was sure that he had my eye contact before he spoke.

"Let's get one thing straight, sweetheart. I may have let you play dress up and dine like a princess while you've been here, but _you are my hostage_. And if you try anything funny, anything at all that displeases me, you'll wish you had been the good little girl that you had promised to be. Is that clear?"

His pointer finger was pushing into the edge of my bruise as he gripped my chin and I felt my eyes watering. I nodded quickly in response and Crowley smiled, releasing his grip lightly tapping his hand on the side of my face. He let out a laugh when I winced away from him in pain.

"Good girl. There's a lot more where that comes from if you double cross me, Winchester."

When prompted, I followed Crowley out of the room to the elevator, trailing behind him. One of his demon lackeys took up the rear close behind me. I backed myself to the wall and faced them both as the lackey pushed the appropriate buttons bringing us to the hotel lobby. There was a black car waiting outside the hotel and the driver held the door open, waiting for us. I slid in after Crowley and the demon slid in beside me.

"A little tight, don't you think?" I grumbled as the muscled demon crushed me between him and Crowley.

Crowley glared at me for a second before pulling a scarf from inside of his jacket. I looked at him strangely.

"What do you think you're doing with that?" I shot at him.

"Now, sweetheart, we wouldn't want to ruin your little birthday surprise now, would we? Now, be a dear and cooperate," he said, leaning towards my head, " _or I'll kill the cabbie,_ " he whispered.

The driver let out a light laugh and I vaguely heard him call me a "lucky girl," before the cab started moving. At hearing "cooperate" and his threat to murder, every ounce of resistance that was in me faded and I bowed my head, allowing him to cover my eyes. We were in the cab for well over an hour by the time we stopped. I had memorized the first few turns before realizing it would be impossible to remember getting out of the city. The demon took my arm, leading me out of the taxi as I was still blindfolded. I felt the crunch of stone beneath my feet and I could smell the fresh air. Less than two hours brought us from the big city to rural nothingness.

"Welcome to your new hostage home, little midge. I think you'll be a bit more comfortable here. More like the usual Winchester style," Crowley said, pulling the scarf from my eyes to show that we were in a large foyer of what looked like an outdated mansion. The curtains had holes, the floors were covered in a layer of dust.

"Show her to her room," he demanded to the demon who stood behind me, "Introduce her to the djinn."

"The what? No! No Crowley!" I asked while struggling to get away from the demon that was now restraining me. Crowley was too busy pouring himself a drink to pay me any attention, but I continued to fight at the demon's arms around my waist.

"Not being very cooperative, are we little girl? It would be in your best interests to remember that you made Uncle Crowley a promise, sweetheart. And I don't like when people break promises."

"We had a deal, Crowley! That deal did not involve a djinn."

"It did not _not_ involve a djinn," he countered, stepping forward to me while sipping his drink. "I'm growing bored of this discussion, Eleanora," he said, staring into my eyes before he looked up to the demon who's head was over a foot above mine. "I think it's time for her nap, Tyler. Do your thing."

With that the demon named Tyler moved his arms to my neck and effortlessly increased the pressure of his hold. I could feel the blood in my neck fighting to get to my brain, fighting to pump past the blockage created by Tyler's strong arms. I fought against him, pushing with all my strength at his arms, digging my nails into his skin and kicking at him. I felt an unavoidable weakness spreading through my body and I fell limp against Tyler's chest.

* * *

The sound of the door creaking open pulled me into consciousness. I made a weak attempt to bring my hand down to rub the sleep from my eyes only to be halted by the iron chain restraining me to the bed.

"Our King tells me you've been misbehaving, young lady."

I frowned at hearing Bas' voice and turned my attention to where he stood at the foot of the bed. He wasn't alone. Beside my demon captor stood a man bound in the same type of chains that apprehended me. His shirt was bloodied and the first few open buttons at the top revealed a chest filled covered in deep slashes crusted over with dried blood. He looked to be somewhere in his mid-forties, old compared to Bas, with salt and pepper colored hair and light blue eyes. He rolled back the sleeves of his button-down shirt, chains clanking as he did so and I saw the telltale sign of a djinn, a sleeve of tattoos.

"Well, regardless of your infractions, I'm still nice enough to bring you a new friend. Anatole, meet Eleanora Winchester."

"Yes, Miss Eleanora, this is not our first encounter," he answered roughly, his eyes not budging from mine, "She and her brothers seem to enjoy _murdering_ my children."

I gulped at his words. I had hoped for an ally in this djinn. Surely he was being held captive like me. Surely he would want to get out of here. As Bas and the djinn looked on, I racked my mind for any of the ways I had been taught to kill a djinn. I couldn't quiet my mind enough to think clearly. I was too focused on the faintly blue glow of the hand that was now reaching towards me. I positioned myself as far away from the djinn as I could with the restraints, pulling myself off the bed. My eyes scanned the floor by the bed, searching nearby for anything that I could use as a weapon to protect myself and coming up short. The room was empty aside from the bed.

"You don't have to do this," I whimpered as I shrunk to the floor, my only option to put further distance between us. The last djinn-induced dreams had been damaging and I wasn't eager to have those hallucinations again. I didn't want to see the nightmare versions of my father or Azazel or Dean.

"Bas, please. I'll cooperate. I promise," I said, looking to him, my eyes pleading.

"You promised that before, princess. All dissidence must be dealt with. Anatole is not going to kill you, only help you to dream. Help you uncover those memories that are locked up inside."

I felt a tear escape my eyes. I looked up to Anatole and his face was neutral. I took a deep breath as he took hold of my arm. Unlike with the last djinn, the one who had taken Madeline Miller's form, I could feel the effects of Anatole's poision immediately coursing through my veins.

* * *

I laid in the bed unable to move, my body too heavy though the chains no longer held me in place. I could see my wrist from where my head laid on the pillow, red surrounded a deep cut surrounding my wrist, likely the product of me tugging at the chains, from my resistance to Anatole's poison. I tried to move, to rub at the red mark on my wrist, but my arms remained unmoving at my sides. I couldn't move anything aside from my head. As the door was flung open, I turned my head to see Bas stride in.

"Oh good, princess, you're awake. Anatole knocked you out for much longer than I imagined he was capable of. Much longer and you would probably be dead. I think you made yourself an enemy. Good thing your grandfather has his little cure. Had him come in here and administer it himself."

I looked down and noticed an IV in my arm.

"Samuel was here? But-," I said.

"But why didn't he save you?" Bas mocked, "Probably because you are the least useful Winchester. What would he want with you?"

I felt my eyes stinging with tears that wanted to fall, but I closed my eyes to force them back.

"How long have I been-," I started. I didn't remember an IV being put in. I didn't remember having any dreams.

"Three weeks," he responded, interrupting me, "You've been on fluids and as I'm sure you know, the djinn's poison is a natural painkiller though thankfully that's just about out of your system." Bas pinched at the skin on my arm and I winced, "Perfect."

"And why can't I move my body?" I asked, hoping to distract him. He looked at me for a long moment before speaking

"Let's talk about those dreams, shall we?"

"No. Tell me why can't I move," I repeated, feeling panicked.

"Because I've induced paralysis from the neck down," he smiled, "It'll make it easier to get my answers." Bas bent over and picked up a black bag from the floor beside my bed, Crowley's black bag.

"Tell me about the dreams you've been having."

"I…I…I don't know," I answered racking my mind to remember what I had dreamed about since Anatole had poisoned me. My mind was empty aside from the present, "I can't remember anything. We were in the room and...and he touched me and I woke up here. That's all."

He chuckled, "Wrong answer, princess."

Bas took an object from the bag. It looked a bit like a pen or a metal stake, small, thin and pointy. He pulled his arm back and pushed the needle-like probe into my neck as I let out a blood curdling scream.

"Tell me about the dreams," he said.

"I didn't have a dream," I answered with a sob.

"Who is the woman?" he continued.

"I don't know!" I whimpered.

He took out another probe, twirling it in his fingers before pushing it straight through my hand and into the mattress.

"My toys only get bigger and more painful, princess. I don't want to have to punish you, but I take my job very seriously so I will if I have to," he said. My screaming had subsided being replaced by quiet sobs. I could see blood flowing from the hole in my hand, pooling to create a wet red mark on the crisp white sheets. He stabbed my other hand before moving to check the IV pole.

"Let's get you back to sleep. And next time you had better remember the dreams like a good little girl."

His hand reached out to stoke my cheek and he wiped a tear from my eye with his thumb. I wished I could pull away from his touch. I couldn't bring myself to move my head because the pain in my neck was too strong. I closed my eyes and listened as the door opened bringing a chorus of clanking chains and footsteps to my ears. I felt a warm hand touch my forearm as I drifted, sinking calmly into the bed beneath me.

* * *

Bas sat beside me on the bed looking down at me. I whimpered at his proximity.

"Ready for show and tell, kiddo?" he asked.

"I didn't dream," I answered immediately, "It's not working. I tried to. I'm trying to help. Please, don't-," I felt pathetic at hearing the whining tone in my voice. My words had no effect on Bas other than prompting him to search through the bag for a tool. Bas jabbed the metal into the other side of my neck, eliciting a scream.

"What will it take?" he asked, voice raised. I quieted to a low mixture of whimpers and sobs. Bas now trailed what looked like a knitting needle up and down my body. It was thicker than the other tools had been, a little blunt at the tip and significantly longer.

"What will make you talk?"

He paused in a the middle of my abdomen and near the femoral artery of my thigh before bringing the needle to my face and resting it on my cheek bone.

"You have the most beautiful green eyes, princess," he commented and panic flashed through me as I closed my eyes tightly, my breath picking up.

"Yes, I see you like them too," he said, "Well, answer my questions and I won't gouge them out, princess."

"I don't know anything!" I cried.

With his thumb and forefinger, I felt him pry my eyelids apart, holding the needle in his other hand.

"Please, don't," I cried, "Please!"

Bas smiled down at me.

"Tell me what I need to know and I won't have to. Who is she?" he pressed.

"She…she's my protector," I answered, not knowing where the words came from, but firmly knowing that they were true.

" _Who is she?_ " he growled, clearly unhappy with the vagueness of my answer. He moved his hand and I let out a scream as he inched the needle closer to my eye, hoping to deter him. The muscles in my eyelids fought against his fingers. My body was instinctually trying to blink and wet my eye, trying to close eyelids and provide protection to my eye from the needle moving towards it.

He touched the blunt tip to my eye, not pushing put letting the two surfaces connect as I screamed, fighting it in the only way I could. I felt my vision darkening as the needle stayed connected to my eye as I neared passing out. Bas pulled away from me as the door opened. I closed my eye and felt as Bas plunged the needle into my abdomen. I opened my eyes to see him charging towards Sam in the corner of the room. Blood was pouring from my wound, staining my dress, staining the bed sheets and then I was aware of Dean at my side as I watched Sam stab the demon blade into Bas' chest.

Dean pulled me into his arms but I couldn't reciprocate his touch. I wanted to throw my arms around him and cling to my brother as tightly as I could. I wanted to nuzzle my head in his chest and cry until I fell asleep. I wanted to feel safe like I felt when the woman held me in my dreams. Dean maintained eye contact while pulling the needles from my body. He held his hand down firmly against my stomach, applying pressure to the gaping hole in my abdomen.

"You're going to be okay, kiddo," Dean said, smoothing back the hair on my head with his free hand and leaving a light kiss on my forehead. His lips felt warm compared to the chill in my body, "Cas is going to heal you. Just stay with me."

I felt my eyes trying to pull closed as he spoke.

"Kiddo, talk to me, okay? Just tell me what happened. Tell me anything. Just keep talking."

"De, I don't remember," I mumbled as my vision went dark.

* * *

I woke up in the bed, my arm chained to the headboard, an IV in my arm. Crowley stood at the foot of my bed, squinting at me with his head tilted to the side.

"Dreaming about puppies and rainbows, were we?" Crowley said as he came around the bed to stand beside me. I was grateful to have control of my body, to have the freedom to shift myself a few inches further away from him.

"Not exactly," I mumbled, a heavy, hollow pain in chest. Dean and Sam had been a dream, a hallucination. I reached up to my neck with my free hand, relieved that there were no holes, no needles sticking out. It had all been Anatole's doing.

"Where's Bas?" I asked, "How long have I been out?"

"Nybbas has some other important tasks to attend to," Crowley answered.

I heard screams in the room beside mine and stared until it went silent. Crowley glanced at the wall separating the rooms before continuing, "You see, your new dream weaving friend was not exactly successful in tapping into those visions of yours so he will be tortured and then killed."

Another scream rang out and I shivered, feeling sick to my stomach.

"As for how long you've been here, just a few short weeks," he answered.

"A few _short_ weeks?" I gaped at him.

"Yes, and the boys do send their regards. Tyler brought you to the exchange last week as we agreed, but you slept right through the exchange. Curiously, you showed no desire what so ever to go home with Squirrel and Moose."

I didn't have a response for him. I was too shocked. Too confused. Too exhausted. The screaming next door continued, becoming dull background noise for my thoughts. I shouldn't have been surprised that Crowley twisted the agreement's intent. He droned on and I stared at him blankly as he spoke, my mind other places. Anatole was an Alpha, the first djinn ever created. Surely he could have gotten me to dream whatever Crowley and Bas wanted me to dream, but instead I had hallucinations about their torture. I had hallucinations about my brothers saving me. I hallucinated about not remembering anything. I hallucinated about Castiel. I closed my eyes as a soft, frustrated whisper escaped my lips, " _Cas_." I brought his name to the front of my mind hoping that I could reach him, hoping that he would hear my distress signal, ashamed that I hadn't thought of him sooner.

When I opened my eyes, Crowley was observing me, "Not calling for your friend Castiel, are you sweetheart?" he said, "Now surely you don't think so little of me. This place is warded against angels."

I felt my shoulders fall. Even if Crowley hadn't warded the building against angels, Cas had carved the Enochian protection into my ribs just like Sam and Dean years ago. My entire body was angel warded. I would have to know my location for him to be able to find me and help.

"Now, little midge, you look like you could use some sleep. Good old fashioned sedatives until we replace your worthless little friend."

Anatole let out another tortured scream and I cringed at the sound. Crowley stepped forward, pulling a needle from his jacket pocket and pushing it into the IV line despite my protests. I tried to fight the fatigue that rushed through my body, fighting to keep my eyelids open. It was useless. The call for sleep was too strong. I was too weak.

* * *

 **A/N: So very sorry it has taken so long to post this. Traveling for Thanksgiving, hosting visitors and celebrations have royally screwed up my writing schedule the last few weeks. I also made a ton of edits and then had some saving issues (Read as- I edited over 5000 words and then lost all edits) so I was pretty frustrated about that and for my mental sanity took a little break from the chapter before I resorted to chucking my laptop across the room :). Anyhow, hopefully the next chapter will be up sooner (by Friday at the latest) to make up for it! Enjoy! -Hannah**


	21. Chapter 21

It was less than a week later that Crowley moved us to a new location. This time there was no fancy show made to treat me as anything other than a hostage. No dressing me up and transporting me in some extravagant car. The new location made the mansion that had fallen into severe disrepair seem nice though. On entering, I deduced that we were in some sort of abandoned psychiatric facility or a prison. It was damp, dingy and had an unfortunate smell that I couldn't quite place. After a short time though, I found that my physical location or its characteristics didn't hold much importance to me. I spent my time in a medication and sometimes djinn-induced sleep, being woken and pulled from my cell only to be questioned on the content of my dreams.

In the times that I was awake, I noticed how much my body had changed. I was weak and thinner than I had ever been. I had always carried a little extra weight that refused to budge despite semi-regular training, but it was gone now. Weeks under Crowley's lack of care had taken away the chubbiness in my cheeks, what Sam and Dean had coined my baby face. I hadn't eaten a full meal since the French toast in New York City, nourished only through the fluids in my IV line and the occasional scraps of food when one of the demons remembered that humans required food to survive. Part of me figured they 'forgot' on Crowley's orders, to keep me too exhausted and too frail to fight back.

I didn't look up when Bas used the keys to open my cell. He stopped a few steps away from me, his shoes coming into view. I could practically hear him calling me "Princess," the nickname that I had come to detest, though he didn't say a word as he stood silently about a foot away. Bas pulled me into a standing position, slid an arm under my knees and I leaned into his chest, almost welcoming the contact. If I closed my eyes and pretended to hear a heartbeat it almost felt like Bas was human, like I was safe with him. As time wore on, I had become more resistant to walking, resistant to unnecessary movements, not because I wanted to be difficult, but because I was too exhausted. Though I was sleeping most of the time, it wasn't restful and often left me more fatigued than I had been before.

I was vaguely aware that Bas was carrying me further from my cell than I had been since our arrival. After coming through a set of double doors Bas lowered me into a metal chair. Across the room from me sat another chair which was inhabited by Crowley. My gaze had just happened to catch him as I got settled and I did a double take when it registered, my reaction time slower than usual. He was tied to the chair and I squinted at him, trying to focus on his face. There was something different about him. Something in the eyes and I couldn't look away even though he had bowed his head. The doors behind me flew open, startling me and bringing another Crowley through the door.

"Good morning, sweetheart. I see you have met the original shifter," he gestured to the Crowley clone secured to the chair, "He has impeccable good looks. Don't you think?" The shifter lifted his head to meet my eyes.

"Miss Winchester, last time we met I broke your wrist," he spoke, a small smile playing on his lips.

"And you stabbed a knife through my hand," I added weakly. The smallest hint of spite was evident in my words as I started, but faded quickly as I lost endurance and interest. Emotions used up energy that I couldn't afford to expend.

"Good," Crowley mused, studying us, "You two have a history. Come, sweetheart. That truculence will be of help when you torture him."

"What? No, I won't do that," I answered, shaking my head.

Crowley turned and took a few strides in my direction. Before he got to me, I hunched my shoulders and bowed my head, preparing for the worst. I focused my eyes on the glint of his shiny black dress shoes as he tapped his foot impatiently. Bas' hand was then in my hair, grabbing a tangle of the greasy knots and forcing my head up so that I had no choice but to meet with Crowley's gaze.

"You will torture this piece of scum until I tell you to stop and then you will kill him, you ungrateful little midge. I let you out for extra play time and this is how you choose to repay me? You can cooperate or you can go right back to that delightful little cell of yours for a little quality time with your greatest fears."

I swallowed hard. Anatole had been killed the day before we left the mansion. I had watched the demons kill the alpha djinn and though I felt a deep pain knowing that I had caused his death, I could help but also feel relief at being free from the hallucinations. The relief was short lived as there seemed to be an endless supply of djinns willing to induce my almost constant nightmarish hallucinations. I barely knew what was real and what was imagined and I elected not to try too hard to distinguish the dreams from reality. The newest djinn favored spinning hallucinations with Sam and Dean. Those dreams were my punishments for the incorrect answers, for not following orders, for annoying them.

"I can't," I whimpered. I didn't want to torture the shifter and regardless, I barely had the strength to stand on my own. They were just barely keeping me alive. Bas and Crowley both knew that, but they showed no mercy. Crowley was frustrated with the progress being made and it showed. My visions of the woman had all but halted and he wasn't getting many answers from the Alphas either. Bas's grip on my hair tightened, pulling at my tender scalp. There wasn't a part of my body that didn't feel tender and sore.

"It wouldn't be the first time you killed a monster, sweetheart. This method is just a little more lucrative."

"I don't torture," I answered through gritted teeth, whining when Bas tightened his grip in response.

"You do starting today," Crowley said, clapping his hands together, "Chop, chop."

Bas took his hand from my hair and placed his hands under my arms, pulling me to my feet. I fell back against his chest as I established my footing. He moved me towards the table where Crowley had unpacked his favorite instruments of torture. Crowley's hand was lingering over one blade in particular. He pulled the knife up and into his hand, observing it with a smile as he turned to me.

"Cut him. Right here," he said, tracing his fingertip just beneath my collarbone. I shook my head, leaning back into Bas. Crowley pushed the knife in my hand, clasping his over mine and guiding me towards the shifter.

"It's either you or him, sweetheart. Ever heard of a little thing called self-preservation?"

"Not at someone else's expense," I spat.

He pushed my hand down and the knife plunged into the shifter's chest. The shifter let out a yell and I tried to drop the knife, but Crowley held his hand firmly over mine, forcing the knife to twist it in his chest. From my mouth escaped a sob and Crowley pulled the knife from the shifter's form.

"You've gone soft, Eleanora, a weak excuse for what you should be," the shifter said as he looked up to me.

"She is, isn't she?" Crowley commented, "How about you tell us why you would expect otherwise since you don't seem to want to tell me about Purgatory. Sit," he said, pushing me out of his arms so that I fell to the ground.

The shifter's eyes were on me though Crowley was looming over him, the knife still in hand.

"She's a Winchester," he answered with a chuckle, "Even you know they're not to be underestimated."

"She is at best, a Winchester in training. She's a naïve, hormonal twit with a nasty attitude and an inability to follow rules."

"Perhaps," the shifter replied.

"Start talking!" Crowley yelled, "Or I'll have her fillet your babies and toss them on your lap." He flipped on a monitor and the sound of crying babies filled the air.

"I won't do it," I answered.

I felt Bas's boot connect with my stomach and I doubled over pulling my legs to my chest and holding my abdomen. His hand were once again tugging at my hair, lifting me up into a sitting position.

"Is that so?" Crowley asked as he quieted the monitor.

"I won't kill innocent babies."

"You will if I tell you to," Crowley answered.

"No, I won't," I growled out despite Bas's hand tightening its hold on my hair. Crowley's foot slammed down on my hand and I let out a yelp. He crouched down so that he was at my level which served to increase the pressure his foot exerted on my hand as he focused his weight on that spot.

"I do not understand why you continue to insist on fighting me, little midge."

I whimpered as he twisted his foot, making my hand feel like it was being ground into the cement floor.

"You know what Crowley? Go ahead. Kill them all," the shifter said loud enough that it stole Crowley's attention from me, "We can always make more."

Crowley stood up and I pulled my hand to my chest. Crowley grabbed a machete from the table before slicing the shifter's head clean off his body in one fluid motion. I screamed in shock and Crowley turned to me.

"Next time I expect you to be more helpful or I can assure you I will not be so bloody nice about it," he had pulled out a cloth to wipe off the machete and now directed his attention to Bas, "Take her back to her cell, Nybbas."

Bas lifted me from where I sat crumpled on the floor and carried me back down the hallway towards my cell. Again, I let my head fall comfortably against his chest. As we turned the final corner, he set me on my feet. I saw the newest djinn standing outside of the door to my cell accompanied by a demon.

I pushed back against Bas, going so far as to turn and hide in his chest.

"Please, don't," I cried.

Bas pulled me away from his body and shoved me towards the cell door.

"I believe they define stupidity as doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. Stop being uncooperative and this will stop, princess."

He pushed me down onto the bed, securing a chain around my wrist and attaching the IV line to the needle in my arm. The other demon brought the djinn forward.

"She just helped torture another monster. He's now dead because of her. Just like your father. Put her under as long as you deem fit," Bas offered.

The djinn's face went blank for a moment and then rage flashed through him as he placed his hand on my forehead. It wasn't worth it to fight.

* * *

I woke to the feeling of a warm hand brushing against my wrist as the chains jangled. Sam was picking at the lock. He smiled widely as I opened my eyes and pushed myself up.

"Hey, kiddo. I'm getting you out of here. How are you feeling?"

"Sammy?" I asked, hearing the tears in my voice before they reached my eyes.

"Yeah, it's me, Nora. We're getting you out of here," he answered.

"Crowley has demons everywhere though."

"I got in. I'll get you out."

"How?"

Sam broke eye contact, "Honestly, kid, I don't know yet, just give me a second to get you out of this."

I nodded. Sam unlocked the chain soon after and pulled me into his arms, his hand cradling the back of my head while the other held my emaciated frame to his chest. It was a few moments before he spoke.

"You've become a monster in here, Nora. Just like Azazel said, like Dad said you would," Sam said, his voice suddenly deeper.

"Sam, what are you talking about? You're scaring me." His grip on me was too tight.

"Dad said that Dean and I have to watch out for you because you would be a danger to us one day."

"I'm not!" Sam, "I would never hurt you. I wouldn't hurt anyone. I swear."

He finally let me out of his grasp and I sat back on the bed.

"Jesus Sam. What the hell?" I asked as I pushed my messy hair out of my face.

When I looked up, Sam was playing with Ruby's demon knife that I hadn't seen it in ages. Meg had stolen it from us a long while back. I inched myself away from him until my back met the cold concrete wall.

"You killed someone while you were here. Tortured him?" It was phrased like a question, but Sam's tone was drenched in accusation.

"I didn't want to, Sam! And he was a shifter, a monster and I didn't kill him."

He shrugged, "You're changing, Nora."

"Where's De?" I asked.

Sam didn't answer me, his attention focused on the knife, which I know noticed had a slightly red glint to it. I shouted, "Sammy!" to get his attention.

He looked up at me with a slight smile, "Dean's dead," he spoke plainly as he plunged the knife deep into my chest.

* * *

I could feel that I still existed before I could see it. In what sense of existence, I didn't know. Beneath me was a hard surface. As I moved my hands against the area I noticed that it felt like rock. I sensed an all too familiar metal against my wrists and ankles, leather across my upper chest and hips. I felt uncomfortably warm, the air was heavy and made sweat run down my body. I laid like that for what felt like ages, unable to hear, unable to see or to smell.

Voices. An indistinguishable murmur that started quietly and gained volume only to recede again. At its height I could hear snippets of conversations, the occasional scream, but little else. Still I laid in the restraints, isolated from the world through my senses.

Then I could smell burning flesh. It overpowered the faint smell of earth. I recognized the scent of my own sweat. There was nothing pleasant about any of the scents aside from the earth and I made every attempt to focus my mind on that particular smell. It reminded me of spring time. It reminded me of digging graves. It reminded me of Dean and Sam. Sam, who had stabbed me with the demon blade after killing Dean, sending me here to this place. Wherever here was.

For the first time since arriving in this place, I opened my eyes and saw a dimly lit room. The walls made it appear as though the room had been cut from the earth. Chains and leather straps held me in place on a table made of the same stone found in the walls. A small surgical table held metal instruments. I looked around the room as my restraints allowed, finding myself more thankful for the sense of vision than I had ever been before.

My head shot forward as I heard the door creak open for the first time since arriving. It was a heavy metal door, with no windows. A muscled arm appeared through the opening and the form stopped midway as though he was finishing a conversation. It had to be Bas. He had found me after all this time. Or maybe he knew I was here the all along and he was waiting for my senses to come back.

The eyes that briefly met mine did not belong to the demon I had anticipated. They were green eyes that mirrored my own. The same eyes that had bore into mine when their owner tucked me into bed. The same eyes that had on countless occasions implored me to answer questions truthfully when I didn't want to. The same eyes that had the power to stop me mid-sentence without the use of accompanied verbal reprimands. The eyes that had often reminded me I was safe and loved.

"Dean? Thank god," I whispered as his form came towards me, "Sam said that-."

When he finally turned to me, his face looked as though he was enraged and void of emotion at the same time.

"De," I prompted.

He turned to me, a knife expertly held in hand.

"You will speak only when spoken to, kid. Other than that, I only want to hear your screams, understood?"

I nodded once in response to his yelling, feeling warm tears leak onto my face. The knife slashed at my upper arm and I let out a scream.

"Was that the way you were taught to answer when I ask you a question?"

"No," I whined and again the knife cut into my arm.

"That's not good enough," he yelled.

"No, sir." I said.

He smirked down at me before continuing to carve, peppering his torture with questions about my dreams and derogatory rants as he whittled me down to nothing. He started over fresh each day until I could take it no longer, until I agreed to torture another soul as his apprentice.

* * *

In my state of sleep, I could hear voices in echoing through the hallways, snippets of conversation reaching my brain as I fell in and out of consciousness within the confines of my cell. I felt the bed beneath me, the thin blanket pooled around my feet. In my disturbed sleep, I had pulled the IV from my arm and the blood crusted over the wound now. I rolled over in the bed so I was facing the wall and pulled the blanket up over my shoulders before closing my eyes once more.

 _"I will kill you."_

The words came from Dean's mouth. I opened my eyes scanning the room for any sign of him. The voice had sent chills up my spine and I quickly pulled my knees to my chest beneath the thin dirty blanket. I cringed as I felt the soreness in my abdomen spike as I brought my body into a fetal position. A few minutes of quiet passed before I fell back into a fitful sleep.

* * *

A pair of arms were crushing me into a chest before I could register what was happening. The smell of leather, liquor and cologne invaded my nostrils and startled me awake.

"Kiddo, hey, wake up," Dean said, "I've got you. You're okay."

I tried to pull myself away from his grasp, pushing at his chest as the tears flowed from my eyes. I was too weak to release myself and he was holding too tightly.

"No! Get away from me! Let me go! I don't remember anything! I swear! I don't want to do it anymore!" I screamed, the words coming out like a reflex.

I was finally able to push myself out of Dean's grasp and my eyes darted between the two boys. Sam had been planted near the doorway to my cell but took a few steps forward now.

"What the hell is wrong with her?" Sam asked.

Dean didn't answer him, but looked at me with his face laced in concern. There was a little bit of distance between Dean and I now that I had wedged myself into the far corner of the bed and pulled the blankets up over my body, creating a barrier between us.

"Nora, we do not have time for this crap. Let's go," Sam said, sighing.

Dean smacked Sam as he came closer, "Dude. Do not talk to her like that right now."

"She'll get over it. We need to get her the hell out of here."

I felt myself starting to shake as Sam crouched down next to the bed, reaching his arms towards my body, "I'll carry her out to the car. It doesn't look like walking is an option," he offered.

"No! Please, just leave me alone," I whimpered, pushing out at his chest with my feet to keep him away, "I'll be good. I'll cooperate. Just leave me here. Just stop the dreams."

"Cas, get the heck in here," Dean barked as he pulled Sam away from me and stood up himself. Castiel popped his head around the corner and I let out a breath of relief. I could trust Cas. Both Dean and Sam walked towards him, both taking long glances back at me before turning their attention to the angel.

"I wanted to give you some family time," Cas answered.

"Yeah, well that's not working out so well," Dean scoffed, quietly. The three began talking in hushed tones and Castiel looked up to me a sad smile on his face as I watched.

"Dean, Sam. You go get the car. Eleanora and I will meet you."

Sam headed out through the door without question, but I felt Dean's eyes on me and I looked up. Castiel placed a hand on his shoulder, but Dean maintained his gaze on me. I put my head down against my knees. I couldn't look at those eyes anymore. Castiel cleared his throat and I heard the shuffle of boots signaling that we were alone.

"Eleanora."

I looked up to Castiel's concerned face, "Thank you Cas," I said.

"What for?" he asked, curiously.

"For getting them to leave."

"You love your brothers, Nora. Your brothers love you."

"I can't trust them. They've hurt me," I answered.

"Eleanora, Sam was right. We don't have much time to get you out of here safely. Whatever you think Sam and Dean did to you, it wasn't real. They would never hurt you. They've been looking for you tirelessly for the last few months."

I avoided responding to his comment and looked away from him, finding the open doorway a more suitable place to set my gaze. Had it really been months since I had last seen my brothers? It felt shorter on account of the dreams. I had seen them almost daily since arriving here.

"Are you real Cas? I'm not dreaming?"

"I promise you I am real, Eleanora. Will you allow me to heal you? I will have to touch you."

I nodded slowly and Cas took a tentative step towards me, kneeling down beside the bed and placing his hand over my abdomen. I felt warmth through my body and after a moment, all of the physical pain I had been feeling was gone. When he pulled his hand away, he placed it on my shoulder, squeezing briefly, in what I knew to be a sign of affection. I launched myself towards the angel with more energy than I had had in weeks, latching my arms around his neck and kneeling on the floor with him. He casually slipped his arm under my knees and pulled me to his chest as he stood, taking a few steps towards the door.

"You're safe now, Eleanora. I will have to leave you with your brothers though. Sam and Dean will care for you," he said when I tensed up, walking towards the rooms I had frequented for torture.

"No, Cas. Please stay," I whined, tightening my grip on him, "I need you."

"I have matters to attend to in Heaven, Eleanora. You are save with your brothers. You know that, right?"

I kept my head tucked under his chin to avoid a response.

"Eleanora?" he prompted. I could feel the vibration in his chest as his deep voice sounded.

I nodded silently into his chest.

"Just remember that then. Remember that it wasn't real. And I will check on you when I can. You can pray to me if you need to, but I promise that you're safe now."

Neither of the boys said a word as Cas carried me out of the building and towards the Impala. Dean pulled the door open for him to slide me in the backseat.

"Would you like me to help you sleep?" Cas asked.

I shook my head furiously as I pulled away from him and slid to the other side of the car.

"You need some sleep, kiddo," Dean answered and I glared up at Dean before Castiel's voice brought my gaze back to him.

"I will not go against your wishes, Eleanora. I understand your need for control right now," Cas said, "But Dean is correct. You need your rest. You have been through a great deal."

"I will," I answered, allowing myself to inch back towards him. Castiel placed his hand on top of mine and squeezed gently before he stood up, shutting the door behind him.

I could hear their muffled conversation as I found my favorite blanket, neatly folded and stashed on the floor behind the driver's seat. I wrapped myself in the fabric and allowed the familiarity of the Impala's backseat to lull me to sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

"Where's Sam?" I asked as I finally rolled over to face the front seat of the Impala.

Dean's head was bopping back and forth to the sound of a Kansas song whose name I couldn't place and it took him a second to register that I had spoken. I had been awake since we stopped for gas a few hours before but I kept my body facing the trunk hoping that the boys would continue to leave me alone. I wasn't ready to face them. Aside from Dean's humming along with the radio and Baby's engine purring, the car had been silent. Before answering, Dean's eyes found mine in the rearview mirror and gave me a look full of pity and regret.

"He needed some time to get things straight," he responded gruffly.

"That's bull shit," I muttered.

"Excuse me?" Dean said, turning back to look at me.

"I said that's bull shit. You're lying to me," I barked.

I could tell by the expression on Dean's face that he was unimpressed with the way I was talking to him. Under normal circumstances I would have been reprimanded for the attitude and the language, but Dean's face had already softened as he turned back to face the road.

"Kiddo, I'm not lying to you. Sam's gotta figure some stuff out. It'll all be fine. Why don't you come up front with me? You can play DJ for awhile."

"I'm fine back here," I muttered as I sat up and leaned my head against the window. I watched Dean out of the corner of my eye as he ran his hand over his tired face.

"O...kay. Let's just stop and get a room for the night then," he recovered.

"But it's not even dark yet," I protested.

"Well, you're exhausted, I'm exhausted. You need a shower and we need to get some food in you."

"I'm not hungry," I answered while staring out the window. I really wasn't hungry or maybe I was, but the empty feeling in my stomach was so familiar these days.

"Now who's the one lying? Kiddo, you must be starv-."

"I just want to go see Bobby. We can drive through the night and be there by morning," I interrupted.

"I know. And that's where we're heading, but you need to take it easy. There's no rush, kid. You've been through a lot and I don't want you worrying about anything except getting better, ok?"

I didn't answer him. Whether Dean thought I should be or not, I was in a rush to get to Bobby's, in a rush to have someone else around, someone who hadn't been the subject of my nightmares over the last weeks. And for the first time in a long time, I just wanted normal. I didn't want to be on the road hunting the supernatural. I didn't want to be with Sam and Dean. I wanted to hide out in Bobby's guestroom and wallow, as anyone would do after something so traumatic.

"And you know you can talk to me about whatever happened in there, right? If you need to talk, you know that I'm here for you. Sam is too."

I looked out the window and muttered a finalizing, "I'm fine," and went silent.

Dean took the next exit advertising a motel. I waited in the car while he headed to get us a room. I let my forehead lean against the cool glass of the window as I waited. For the time that I was Crowley's captive, the only thing I wanted was for my brothers to come save me, but now I felt the need to just be alone. I didn't want to be afraid of my brothers. I didn't want to keep them at an arm's length, especially when I had been denied their comfort for so long. I didn't want to feel angry or scared or alone, but I couldn't move past it.

Dean went straight for the trunk when he came back to the car, lightly rapping his knuckle on my window as he passed. I pushed the door open and got out, standing a few feet away from him. Dean glanced at me before pulling the strap of a bag that had been stuffed deep in the front of the trunk, a purple duffle bag. Our eyes met for a moment as he handed the bag to me. I looked back down to the ground when holding his gaze became uncomfortable. I was barefoot, something I hadn't realized until that moment. My feet were filthy and sore as they rubbed against the gravel beneath them.

"Here, I figured you'd need this," Dean said, handing me a plastic bag filled with a random name brand shampoo that advertised 'extreme clean' along with some other toiletries that I considered luxuries since we were out on the road. Somewhere in my mind, I knew that I should thank Dean for the gesture, but the words wouldn't come so I just nodded before looking back to my bare feet.

I heard Dean's strong exhale at my silence and he grabbed a few items from the trunk before slamming it closed, "Come on Nora," he said quietly as he walked towards the door.

The room was like many others that we had stayed in over the years – two double beds and a small, outdated TV. Immediately, I walked towards the bed furthest from the door, setting my bag down at the food of the bed and curling up facing away from Dean as he set his things down. After a few minutes of shuffling, the bathroom door closed and I heard the shower turn on. I let out a breath I didn't realize that I was holding and relaxed against the mattress. Dean was in there for well over thirty minutes before the bathroom door creaked open again.

"Alright, shower's all yours."

I didn't acknowledge his words. I didn't want to take a shower. I just wanted to lay on the bed and stare at the wall. I felt the bed dip as Dean sat down near my feet and I pulled my legs up and away from him.

"Come on, kiddo. Go get in the shower and we'll go get some dinner. I saw a pizza place right when we came into town," he prompted, his voice falsely positive.

"I don't want to," I answered, "I want to stay here."

"Nora, I don't want to make you anymore upset than you already are, okay? You've been through a lot and I'm sorry that I didn't stop it. I'm sorry that I wasn't there to save you. But there is no way in hell I am going to let you sit here and wallow at the expense of your health. You need to get yourself cleaned up, get in some clean clothes and you need to eat something. It'll make you feel better."

"I need you to leave me alone," I retaliated as I closed my eyes. There was no bite in my voice, only exhaustion.

"Hey," Dean said softly, repeating it when I didn't open my eyes, "Hey, little girl, look at me. It's okay. You're safe now. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

There was a pain in his voice and pity too, as he said the words. I felt Dean's hand reach out for mine and my lips released an involuntary cry as the rough, calloused skin of his palm brushed against my fingers. He pulled away when I whimpered, his concerned eyes staring deep into mine. It hurt Dean that he couldn't comfort me, but when I looked to him I couldn't help but see the angered eyes from hell.

"Nor-," Dean continued, but I interrupted before he could say anything else.

"I'm fine. I'll take a shower, just please don't touch me."

I rolled away from him to the other side of the bed and stood up, grabbing my bag before heading for the shower. I locked the door behind me, rattling the handle to be certain that it was secured. It had been so long since I had showered, so long since I had looked at myself in a mirror and I avoided doing so now. I didn't want to know what I looked like, not yet. Sure, Cas had healed the bruises, the broken rib and any open wounds I had, but there was so much more that he couldn't fix. Things like my gaunt face, sickly pale skin and the dead look in my eyes.

The water warmed quickly and I hesitantly forced myself underneath the stream. At feeling the water hit my skin, I felt a ravenous need to scrub myself raw. I leaned out of the shower to grab the shower items Dean had bought, letting water pool on the floor as it dripped from my hand. I washed my hair longer than necessary, letting my long and jagged fingernails work the substance into my scalp for well over ten minutes before I felt clean. I scrubbed at my body with the thin washcloth until my skin was tender. My legs felt weak and my vision started turning dark so I slid myself down to the floor of the tub. Pulling my knees to my chest, I let the shower stream beat on my back until the stream became so cold that my teeth started to chatter.

I sat on the toilet wrapped in the towel as I picked through the clothes in my bag. I felt the smallest hint of happiness as I found my favorite pair of jeans and a maroon cardigan sweater. As I pulled them on, I was surprised to find that they were far too big, the articles of clothing barely clinging to my frame. The tears prickled in my eyes before I could stop them and I lowered myself to the floor.

There was a light knock on the bathroom door.

"Are you ready?" Dean spoke, his words floating in from under the door.

I wiped at my eyes and stood up. Dean was leaning casually against the frame when I pulled open the door and stood up straight when he saw me.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

My lip was quivering and the burning in my throat refused to die down no matter how many times I tried to swallow it.

"My clothes don't fit anymore," I muttered, pulling the now too big sweater around myself.

"It's okay. You look fine."

"I look like shit."

"Kiddo, you're beautiful and if you need new clothes, we'll stop somewhere on the road tomorrow," Dean answered, "You ready for dinner?"

Dean had shown so much restraint in not reaching out to comfort me. I nodded and followed in my brother's wake as he made his way towards the Impala. I slid in the front seat and we listened to the radio in silence until we arrived at the pizzeria.

* * *

"What toppings do you want?" he asked as he studied the menu. I had yet to even pick mine up and instead had focused my attention on a young family occupying the booth on the opposite side of the room.

"Whatever. Get what you want," I answered.

I felt Dean looking at me and I met his gaze.

"Sorry," I apologized quietly, merely out of habit. I knew that Dean had never liked hearing me use the phrase.

"It's alright, kiddo. You want mushrooms and pepperoni? Some of that fried octopus crap you and Sammy like?"

"Ok," I said and Dean smiled.

"It's a good thing I know you so well, huh?" he replied.

"I'm going to the bathroom," I answered, pushing myself out of the booth and heading towards the back of the restaurant.

I set the toilet seat cover down and sat, pulling my knees up to my chest. I focused on reading the sign describing the proper method of handwashing over and over until there was a knock on the door.

"Just a minute," I answered before moving to the sink to wash my hand.

By the time I made it back from the bathroom, our food was arriving at the table along with Dean's second beer.

"You ok?"

"Fine," I answered. I knew I had been in the bathroom for longer than normal, probably close to fifteen minutes before I had been interrupted. Dean didn't push the issue and simply nodded before putting a slice of pizza on my plate.

I hadn't realized how much I missed food until I saw the cheesy goodness sitting in front of me. I groaned when I took my first bite. I had forgotten how good food tasted, especially pizza.

I heard Dean chuckle, "That good, huh?" he asked.

I nodded, taking another couple of bites, enjoying the silence as we both gorged ourselves.

* * *

"Nora, what did Crowley do to you?" he asked after fifteen minutes of silence once we arrived back at the room. I had made myself comfortable on the bed, again facing the wall.

"Nothing," I mumbled.

"Kiddo, you can talk to me."

"I don't want to talk about it," I answered.

Dean looked at me as though he was deciding what to say and how to say it.

"That's fine, for now at least, but eventually you're going to have to talk about this," he said, sternness in his tone.

"I just don't want to talk to you so leave me alone!" I shouted, picking up my jacket and heading towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked, meeting me at the door and putting his hand out to stop me from opening it.

"I need some air."

"No Nora, you're not wandering around here by yourself."

"I need space!" I yelled and before I knew what was happening, I felt sweat beading on my forehead and on my back. Something was threatening to push up into my mouth from throat. I dropped to the floor in front of the trash can and emptied the contents of my stomach, feeling the acidity of the pizza's red sauce burning my throat. Even after the solid contents had evacuated my body, I continued to wretch, bringing tears to my eyes as I spit the thick, sour bile from my lips. I hadn't noticed Dean's hand holding back my hair or the small circles he was rubbing on my back as he whispered soothing words.

I reached up and pulled my hair from his hand, putting the strands in a messy bun on top of my head and scooting away from him. Dean's face flashed a brief frown before he replaced it with something more neutral and passed a towel to me to wipe my mouth.

"Are you okay? I mean, I know you're not, but your stomach?"

I nodded my head. I was safe for the moment. He nodded back and stood up, taking the basket with him and leaving me alone in the room. Maybe pizza and fried food hadn't been the best thing to start off with. Dean came back 10 minutes later with the empty trash can and a water bottle which he tossed to me where I still laid sprawled out on the carpet. I closed my eyes and wished that I could pretend like things were normal. I wished I could let my brother comfort me without feeling panic, fear and guilt. I wished that the last weeks had never happened, that I could just forget them.

As much as I wanted that, I could barely even remember what our life was like before anyway. How had Dean, Sam and I interacted? Where did I find joy? Joy now seemed so foreign, something other people felt. I understood fear. I understood anger and numbness and guilt, but joy? Trust? Love? I wept internally for those emotions because they weren't in me anymore or if they were, they were buried deep under everything else. I heard Dean open the window, allowing a cool breeze to bring a chill over my sweat covered skin. Again, I closed my eyes as I laid on the dirty carpeted floor, the smell of vomit and stuffiness draining from the room through the open window.

* * *

I woke up tucked into the motel bed's stiff sheets and an extra blanket pulled over my body. The room was empty, but I could hear voices floating through the open window. The bitter taste of vomit was still in my mouth. I moved to the bathroom and brushed my teeth before grabbing the water bottle that Dean had gotten for me earlier and taking a few small sips. I took a seat on the floor beside the window as I recognized Cas's and Dean's voices.

"I don't know what to do, Cas. The kid is so hurt and I wanna help her, but every time I reach out to her, she freaks. Everything I say, it's like it barely registers."

"Eleanora went through a difficult ordeal, Dean. I believe that Crowley was using djinns to create dream states, probably of you and Sam. She fears you. She fears Sam. She needs time before she can trust again."

"Isn't there anything you can do?" Dean's voice was almost begging.

"I healed her physically, Dean. That is as far as she wanted and honestly, that is about all that I can do," Cas replied.

Dean didn't answer right away and the men sat together in a comfortable silence.

"This is all my fault, Cas. I never should have let her come back on the road with us. I let this happen to her and it took us way too fucking long to find her. I should have taken better care of her, Cas. She's my little sister. She's my responsibility."

"Dean, this is not your doing," Cas answered and I heard a sound that sounded like a sob escape Dean's lips.

The hairs on my arms stood on end as I felt a chill take its run through my body. I had never before seen or heard Dean cry during the sixteen years that we had spent together. He had always been the strong one, the one telling me that it was okay, but here he was crying because of me. Because I was letting my emotions take control. Because I couldn't put it all behind me and let him in. Dean had spent time in hell, Sam had spent time in hell and here I was broken up over a few weeks locked in a cell.

I heard the metal chair scrape against the concrete and leapt up, putting myself back underneath the covers before they opened the door.

"At least she's getting some rest," Dean muttered before I heard the bathroom door shut. The bed dipped beside me.

"I know that you are awake, Eleanora."

I peeked over the covers at hearing Castiel's voice.

"Is he okay?" I whispered.

Castiel nodded, "Your brother is worried about you, you know that?"

I nodded, "And you know that he loves you?"

"Yes," I whispered, feeling the burning sensation in my throat again as I pushed back tears.

"And you know that you have no reason to fear him? Dean would never hurt you."

I hesitated, but nodded.

"Remember that. I will check in on you when I can," Castiel said as he pulled the covers back up to my chin, "Goodnight Eleanora."


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Here's a particularly long one for you guys. As a heads up, I want to let you all know that I will be traveling 1/13-1/20 and most likely will not be bringing a laptop so it is unlikely that there will a chapter posted during that time. I have already started on the next chapter, so I will try to have it posted prior to leaving. I also plan to write (pen & paper) while away, so there should also be an update soon after I return. Also want to extend a thank you to all of the beautiful reviews you are writing. They mean the world to me. :)**

* * *

As I listened to the quiet murmur of the bathroom fan and the heavy pitter patter of the shower stream I couldn't bring myself to focus my mind on any one thing in particular. My thoughts were an ever changing swirl of persistent emotions and invading thoughts. I absently poked at the bruise in the crook of my elbow where my IV line had been before glancing to the clock on the bedside table which read 6:08. I sat up more fully and leaned back against the headboard, directing my attention back to the bruise on my arm. I was vaguely aware of Dean's reemergence in the room and I looked up to see that he too was focused on the bruise that I had been poking at.

"Hey, kiddo," he said as he pulled his attention away from my arm and brought his gaze to my face.

"Hi," I said quietly.

"Everything okay? How did you sleep?"

"Fine."

Dean nodded. He was getting accustomed to my using the minimal amount of syllables needed to respond, "Good. Well, Sammy called and he's up at Bobby's. I was just going to get us some breakfast and then we'll get on the road unless you want to come with me now?"

I could tell that Dean was treading lightly with the question, but I nodded in response. A small smile pulled across Dean's lips.

"Okay, good. Great. I'll get us packed up. You just get yourself ready. Take your time. We're in no hurry."

* * *

In the front seat of the Impala, I found myself leaning against the passenger side door while Dean filled up with gas. We were about halfway on our journey and my brother had been mostly quiet aside from encouraging me to choose the music every hour or so when the tape ran out. I played along with his requests for the first few hours, absently choosing the ones I knew he liked.

Neither of us tried to force a conversation and I knew that I had Cas to thank for that. There's was a distinct part of me that yearned for my brothers' comfort right now, part of me that yearned for the way things were before, but it was buried deep underneath everything that had happened. I wished I could just dig through all of the layers until I could find those feelings, but my thoughts were too complicated, too scattered, too fleeting. I could tell that Dean, like me, was deep in thought as we traveled down a deserted highway towards Bobby's, stealing attentive glances at one another whenever we could while the other was distracted in thought.

Dean had barely stopped the car when I jumped out and ran towards the house in search of Bobby. Pulling open the front door and bounding towards his office, I connected with a solid chest and dropped my bag to the floor. I fell back towards the floor but was caught by a large hand wrapping around my wrist and pulling me up on my feet. I took myself out of Sam's grasp as soon as I felt confident in my footing, taking a few steps backwards.

"Do you ever pay attention to where you're going?" Sam said.

"Where's Bobby?" I asked, ignoring his comment.

"What about me?" Sam asked, "No hello for your brother."

"Get out of my way, you idgit."

Donned in a hat and flannel layered over a long sleeved t-shirt, Bobby nudged Sam out of the way so he could pull me into his arms. I felt warm tears on my cheek and he continued to hold me close. He was squeezing me so tightly that it was almost uncomfortable, but I didn't complain.

"I'm so glad you're okay, darlin'. Your brothers and I have been worried sick about you."

"Kiddo, you can at least wait for me to put her in-," Dean stopped when he saw me in Bobby's arms. I pulled away enough to see Dean's face, blank, before he averted his eyes.

"Hey Bobby. Good to see you," Dean said as he squeezed past us, patting Bobby's shoulder before heading for the fridge to grab a beer.

Bobby squeezed me to his chest once again.

"I'm glad you're here, sweetheart. Make yourself at home."

I nodded and pulled my bag onto my shoulder, heading for the stairs. Dean stopped me on the way, his half-finished bottle of beer still in hand as he called my name.

"I don't want you up there alone for hours, okay? Come back down and we'll find something to do."

"I'm tired," I answered knowing that this was something Dean wouldn't fight me on, not yet at least. In all reality, I just wanted to be alone. I wanted to shut myself in Bobby's guestroom for the rest of time. I felt alone anyway, whether I was surrounded by them or not. At least this way I wouldn't have to feel guilty about the distance I was placing between us. I wouldn't have to field questions from the boys or Bobby. I wouldn't have to feel bad about that look in Dean's eyes. I could just stare at the ceiling in peace. Dean rubbed at the back of his neck as he thought about it.

"Fine. Go up and take a quick nap. I'll wake you in an hour or so."

I nodded and moved towards the stairs. I supposed Dean had been so quiet on the ride here was because he had been thinking about how to deal with me. Part of me hated Dean for not letting me just have time to myself. It was that same part of me that was thankful Sam didn't have a soul and therefore didn't care about what I was feeling. At least Sam wasn't treating me any differently. Still, there was a subtle warmth in my chest at Dean's hesitation to give me space.

I stepped through the guestroom door at the top of the stairs and let out a sigh of relief as I shut the door behind me. There was comfort in hearing the creaking of the floor board. There was something sentimental about the dated comforter and the scratchy blanket with its worn satin trim which sat crumpled at the end of the bed. There was something that felt safe about the porcelain circus animals and clown figurines which lined shelves in the room, something which had always freaked out Sam growing up, but that I found strangely comforting. They were all decorative touches that Bobby's wife had put in and that Bobby had refused to change even after all these years.

It was reassuring that things never altered during the time between my visits to Bobby's. My book still sat on the bedside table, marked where I had last left off with a picture of my brothers and I during one of our longer stints at the Singer residence. I had to smile at the picture. I was on Dean's shoulders, which made me a bit taller than Sam so I was leaning on his head with my elbow. My grin revealed that I was missing my front teeth. I pushed off my shoes and climbed onto the bed, pulling the familiar itchy blanket onto my lap and flipping open the book. When I heard Dean's boots clunk up the stairs, I put my book down beside me and closed my eyes, my heart pounding in my chest as sweat beaded my forehead. Dean was silent for a few moments as he first came into the room. I felt his fingertips lightly brush against my forehead as he pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. I opened my eyes as he pulled away and Dean's face conveyed a second of panic. I knew he hadn't meant for me to wake, hadn't meant for me to catch him in the act. Without a thought, I scooted myself towards the middle of the bed to put distance between us.

"You feel okay? You're all sweaty."

"I'm fine."

Dean nodded his head as he rubbed at his face again. I knew he hated me saying "I'm fine" over and over. Mostly because he knew how untrue it was. Dean picked up my book and the photo, smiling at it before he placed it inside, marking my spot. He closed the book and set it on the end of the bed before sitting in its place and looking down at me.

"Are we going to be okay here?" he asked, "You and me?"

I found myself unknowingly biting at the inside of my mouth, bringing the taste of blood to my tongue as the metallic liquid mixed with my saliva. Dean's eyes were searching mine for an answer but it wasn't there and I looked down to my hands.

"I know you're afraid, but I just want to help you, Nora. You've been put through a lot of crap and- I'm just so sorry…for not getting to you sooner, for anything I did to you in those dreams, for all of it. I let you down and I'm so sorry that I don't really know how to fix this, Nora. You have to help me to help you."

I closed my eyes at hearing my brother's apology. It wasn't his fault. He didn't do anything to me. Deep down, I knew that. And I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it together if I had to see Dean break down. Last night had been hard enough to hear and I couldn't block the sound of Dean's sob from replaying in my head. I finally found the nerve to look at my brother. He looked a bit broken, just like me. Hurt, just like me. Scared, just like me. Whatever I was going through, it was hurting him, scaring him, and breaking him too. As Dean looked up to meet my gaze, tears unexpectedly filled my eyes.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed from my spot on the bed as my suppressed emotions took hold. I quickly put myself under the covers and laid down on the bed, burying my face in the pillow before he could stop me. Dean showed no hesitation in pulling himself more fully onto the bed as I heard his boots clunk to the floor. I felt the closeness of his body to my own as he gently rubbed small circles on my back over the layers of blankets.

"None of this is your fault, Nora. You have nothing to be sorry for. You feel whatever you need to, say whatever you need to, do whatever you need to in order to get through this, but please do not be sorry for this. You are not responsible for anything."

* * *

I woke up alone in the bed and unsure of the time. It was still daytime, but I could tell from the tone of the light coming through the window that it was mid-afternoon. I headed downstairs only because I was thirsty and after stopping in the kitchen, headed straight to Bobby's office.

"How was that nap, sweetheart?" he asked as I came into the room, glass of water in hand.

I shrugged as I sat across from him. I knew that Dean had likely told Bobby everything, which was why he was looking at me with such heavy concern, like I might break if he said the wrong thing. Maybe I would break regardless of what they said or did.

"Where are they?" I asked.

"Sam went to the store and Dean said he had some errands to run. They should be back soon."

We both went quiet as I stared aimlessly out the window to the rows of cars. Bobby returned to his book for a few moments. I appeared to be lost deep in thought, but I wasn't, not really at least.

"Do you need something to do? Something to keep you busy like old times?" he asked.

I looked to Bobby and it was clear that he had been watching me for a while, his book closed and set to the side of his desk. I contemplated it for a minute. Growing up, Bobby had always given me tasks to complete when I was too stuck in my head about something, when I was bound to go getting myself in trouble. I had always been an anxious child, a worrier. Bobby always had something that I could help with, something to keep my mind engaged and keep from doing something to get myself in trouble.

"As long as it's not cleaning," I finally answered.

Bobby took a moment before continuing, looking torn by the whole scenario.

"Well, kid, it's your lucky day. After all these years, I think I might be ready for a better system for all of these books. Your brothers won't stop complaining that they can never find anything and to be honest with you, I don't even remember all that I've got here anymore."

I raised an eyebrow at him. Years ago, Sam had taken me with him to the big library in town while he helped do research for a case and ever since then, I had offered my organizational services to Bobby during each and every visit. Bobby had always insisted that he knew where everything was and that was all that mattered. I knew he was only letting me do it now because I had been through so much, but I wasn't going to complain. I had only ever had the chance to skim through a handful of the books my uncle had in his possession and now I had full access to all of them.

"Either that or my windows really do need a good washing."

"No thanks, Bobby," I answered, "Can I read them?"

"Do what you want. You're old enough. Just make sure you write everything down. I want to be able to find my things when I need them."

I nodded and headed up the stairs to find my iPod and headphones. It was a little over an hour before I heard the front door open and close, bringing Sam and two handfuls of groceries into the kitchen. I set the book that I was looking through on a pile and pushed myself off the floor to root through the groceries Sam brought. I grabbed for the my favorite cookies, stashed underneath less desirable items and Sam snatched the package from my hand, replacing it with a banana. I scoffed and reached for the cookies again.

"Nora, Dean said your stomach's not right," Sam answered, "And he may be willing to play Mommy and hold your hair back, but I'm not so here. Enjoy your banana."

I rolled my eyes and tossed the banana back down on the table, grabbing again for the fudge covered grahams.

"He's right, kiddo."

It was Dean's hand that took the cookies out of my grasp this time and placed them back on the table. I let out a frustrated groan and Sam shrugged as he popped on in his mouth with a smirk. Dean glared at him. Ordinarily, I would have continued to fight, but I didn't feel like talking. I just wanted to eat some cookies in peace. My stomach felt fine.

"Sammy bought them so you can have some when you're feeling better, but let's give your stomach time to adjust, okay? Keep down some bland stuff and we'll go from there."

Dean held out the banana for me again, but I didn't take it. I rolled my eyes big enough for both of them to see and headed back to Bobby's office, shoving the earbuds back in and picking up where I left of in the book I was reading. I had emptied one of Bobby's shelves and ordered them alphabetically by author, but quickly became distracted as I began skimming the first few pages of a particularly old looking volume about shape shifting. I felt the floor beneath me quiver as the boys and Bobby stepped into the room. I kept my back faced to them as Dean spoke, his voice little more than dull background noise on account of the music blaring in my ears. As the voices quickly mounted and became shouts, I paused my music and pulled out the headphones turning to lean my back against the now emptied bookshelf as I watched them.

"It's my life, Dean. Not yours. My life. And it's my head that's going to implode when this all goes to hell because it will. It always does."

Dean looked wounded by Sam's words, but there wasn't time to let it resonate for long before Bobby spoke up,

"So what's your half of the deal, Dean? I know Death isn't doing this out of the kindness of his own heart."

Bobby's question was met with silence and I found myself leaning towards them, waiting to hear Dean's answer. I was startled when Bobby barked out, "Sorry boy, didn't catch that," when Dean didn't speak up.

"I have to wear the ring for a day," he finally offered, letting his head fall slightly.

"But why?" I said without thinking and drawing the attention of all three men to where I sat on the floor. I hadn't meant to join their conversation. In fact, I was rather enjoying not being the center of their attention. Dean looked to me for a second, biting his bottom lip.

"Beats me, kiddo, but it's the only shot we've got. I'm gonna do it."

Sam had taken a few steps towards the door and Dean finally took his gaze from me to acknowledge his movement.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked.

"Look, I hear what you're saying, Dean. I get it. I really do. I just need a minute. Give me a little space, all right? All of you just need to give me some space."

Sam made eye contact with me as he said it and I gave no response. I wished it was that easy for me to get a little space. Regardless, I couldn't care less what Sam was up to. If he needed space it was fine by me. That only meant that I would get to have a little space too. A few minutes after Sam walked out through the front door both Bobby and Dean followed.

"Hang out here for a minute, okay? We'll be right back," Dean said as he slipped on his coat.

I nodded and pulled the book back into my lap. Once they left, I walked to the kitchen, taking out a few cookies and popping one into my mouth before returning to my spot on the office floor. I was wiping crumbs off of my shirt when Dean kneeled down beside me. He shook his head and chuckled.

"I should have known better than to leave you unattended with cookies," he mused.

I shrugged my shoulders.

"So, I'll be gone for about 24 hours with this ring thing. Will you be okay?"

I nodded.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Bobby gave me stuff to do," I answered, knowing he wouldn't leave me alone unless I spoke.

"I can see that. He'll keep a good eye on you."

Again I nodded.

"Ok, then, kiddo."

Dean stood up and clapped his hands together when I didn't continue the conversation and showed no desire of a physical goodbye, "Right. So, I'll see you soon then."

"Bye," I mumbled before pulling the book closer and starting to read again.

After Dean left my side, I heard Sam and Bobby come back through the front door. Neither of them made their way to the office, so I continued on reading a book about shifters for a few hours uninterrupted until Bobby came in wordlessly and took a seat behind his desk. He looked tired. He had never asked to take on a fatherly role with us, had never asked for his life to get this complicated, but he was taking it all in stride. I briefly thought of how my father would have handled the situation now – he certainly wouldn't have dealt well with my unresponsiveness, though part of me thought he may not have even noticed. I loved my father and I knew it was reciprocal, but I had always felt like I was an afterthought to him.

"Bobby, Is it okay if I take a walk?" I asked.

"Sure thing, kiddo. Stick close to the house though, okay?"

"Sure."

I stood up and stretched out my legs. They were stiff from sitting cross legged for so long on the hardwood floor. My jacket was still by the door and I pulled it on before heading out. In the time that I had been locked away with Crowley, autumn had all but run its course and though there was no snow on the ground yet, I knew it couldn't be far off. The bitter air nipped at my cheeks as I wandered through the yard. Some of the cars had been there since my childhood, now old and rusted, and others were newer recruits. After all, Bobby had to keep up appearances as the crazy old coot with a junkyard, plus I think he liked collecting the junkers.

As I walked by the barn, I heard the distinct sound of voices, Sam's and one that I didn't recognize. I peeked around the door, seeing what I knew to be a summoning alter on the ground between Sam and the other man. I leaned with my back against the door as I listened to the man talk Sam through a spell. A chill traveled down my spine as he spoke the word "patricide" and I only took two steps towards the house to find Bobby before I felt a strong hand wrap around my arm stopping me in my tracks. Sam turned me towards him.

"What are you doing out here?" he demanded.

"Just taking a walk. Bobby said it was okay."

"Ah, Miss Eleanora Winchester I presume. It's nice to finally meet you. Not the best of circumstances I admit, but it is a distinct pleasure none the less to be in the presence of yet another member of the infamous Winchester brood."

The man speaking came around the corner and looked me up and down as I took a step backwards. He had seemingly come out of nowhere while I struggled against Sam. I tried to pry Sam's fingers from my arm, but the action only served to make Sam grip me tighter.

"Your sister has a bit of fight in her. Might make a bit trouble for your little plan, Sammy boy."

"No she won't. Put her to sleep, Balthazar."

Panic rushed through me at Sam's words uttered with such complete nonchalance. The real Sam would never had suggested it, would never think of putting me through this again, but this wasn't the real Sam. This was the my brother's murderous meat suit. I had experienced more than my fair share of involuntarily being put to sleep and I tried my best to free myself from Sam's grasp. I was too weak to break the clasp he had on my arms as he held me firmly against his chest. In my last attempt to free myself, I made to scream Bobby's name only to have Sam slip his hand over my mouth before I could finish.

"I suppose I can be of service," Balthazar answered, sounding bored as he smiled at me, "Hold still, little one. This won't hurt a bit," he said before pushing two fingers to my forehead forcing my body to fall limp against Sam's chest as he lifted me up into his arms.

* * *

I roused in what I knew to be Bobby's guestroom closet. My hands and feet were securely fastened to the pole in the corner and tape covered my mouth. I couldn't help but question if the last few days had all been the continuation of a nightmare weaved by the djinn. Was still locked up in Crowley's prison? Was I still being punished for not helping to kill and torture the shifter? Had Sam, Dean and Castiel's rescue mission even happened? I tried to scream, but found the sounds of my anguish were too muffled by the tape covering my lips. My screams quickly turned to muffled sobs as I came to terms with the fact that I was stuck and that my brother was likely to kill me before the day ended.

"Nora, darlin', are you in here?"

My body involuntarily jumped at the voice. I quieted my sobs, biting down on the inside of my cheek to stop myself, felling uncertain that I wanted to be found even if it was by Bobby. I pulled my limbs and head towards the center of my body, making myself small in an attempt to become invisible. The door flung open and I stayed in place until Bobby's hands found my face, forcing me to look at him with tearful eyes. I whimpered as his familiar hands worked to peel up the tape at my mouth.

"Damn that fucking dumb ass idjit."

I had never heard Bobby swear, but if there was ever a time that called for it, now would be it.

"Sam, he-," I started once he had pulled the tape away, but Bobby shushed me as he quickly checked over my face.

"I know, kid. You need to get out of here."

Bobby undid my ties and pulled me into his arms.

"You okay? He didn't hurt you?"

I nodded and he pulled me up on my feet and out of the closet.

"Once we're down those stairs, I want you to run. Find a place out in the yard and don't move from it until Dean or I come get you."

"But what about-?"

"Little girl, you do not fight me on this. You get yourself out of harm's way and don't you worry about anything else. You understand me?"

Slowly, I nodded my understanding and at the foot of the stairs, I stepped towards the front door as instructed. My fingertips had barely grazed the door handle when Bobby's old hardwood floors released a loud creaking sound, revealing that we weren't alone. I looked up to meet Sam's eyes across the room, his lips pulling into a smug smile as our eyes met. I knew I wouldn't be able to outrun him and find a hiding spot in the yard so I sprinted back in the direction that Bobby had headed, pushing through the closet door that he had opened. Sam had been close behind me and Bobby had barely shut the door when the door handle started jiggling. I lowered myself to the ground in the back corner of the small broom closet, fighting to hold back tears. I looked up at the sound of wood breaking to see Sam's face through a crack in the door.

"Now don't go and say 'here's Johnny," Bobby said, humor lacing his voice. I couldn't find it in myself to laugh at his joke though Bobby clearly found the situation funny. I couldn't remember the last time laughter had even come from my mouth. Sam didn't find the humor in it either as he continued his pursuit, chipping away at the thin wooden door between us.

"I gotta do this Bobby. You shouldn't have backed yourself into a corner. And you should have just left the kid out of it."

"I didn't back us in a corner, boy," Bobby answered as he slammed his hand down on a button that I hadn't seen before. Sam fell through the floor with a shout and Bobby turned to me with a smile, "You didn't doubt your Uncle Bobby, did ya?"

I shook my head though it was a lie. Ten seconds earlier, I had been sure that we were both done for. I tentatively followed Bobby out of the closet and to the kitchen where Bobby guided my shaking form to one of the dining room chairs. I cringed when I heard metal hitting the basement door, the only thing separating us from Sam.

"He's not getting through there, darlin'. Just relax."

He squeezed my shoulder before walking over to the door to talk with Sam. I knew I wasn't myself because of the way that I was reacting to all of this. One second, I was on high alert, filled with terror and panic, listening to every word they said. In the next moment, I watched a bird perched on the window sill above the sink as Bobby and Sam spoke, completely drowning out the sound of their voices with nothingness.

"You're not in your right mind, Sam. You just tied your sister up for hours after all that she's been through. You don't give us much choice but to try and get your soul back. Sam? Sam…? Balls!"

I barely flinched when Bobby opened the cellar door, but I knew that it meant Sam had somehow found a way to free himself from the basement. Bobby burst back up through the doorway a few minutes later and pressed a gun into my hand before instructing me again to find a place to hide. He headed out through the back door. I knew I couldn't follow. We would be better off splitting up and I headed towards the front door, hopeful that I would be able to find a car to hide out in until things were under control.

Before I could open the front door far enough to sneak through, Sam's hand slammed it closed as it landed above my head. I didn't even know that he was in the house. In childhood, I had always lowered myself to the floor and rooted myself there when I didn't want to go someplace or do something. I did the same now, lowering myself to the floor in the corner. Sam was bigger and stronger. If he wanted, he could lift me up and throw me like a rag doll. He groaned in annoyance once he realized what I was doing.

"Are you serious?" he said as he stepped forward, leaning down to gather me up.

I did the only thing I could think of, something I had never done to either of my brothers before. I kicked Sam as hard as I could between the legs. He didn't fall to the ground as I had hoped, but he took a step back, guarding himself. It gave me enough space and time to open the door and crawl through, getting to the porch steps while on my hands and knees before I was able to pull myself to my feet and sprint away from the house. It wasn't more than ten seconds later that I felt Sam catching up with me, a mere ten seconds before his hand on my shoulder halted my escape. I tumbled to the ground landing in an unusual manner on my ankle. I cried out in pain as I brought my hands to the spot, holding it as Sam stood towering over me.

"Sammy, please don't do this."

"I can't have you getting in the way. I need to get this done."

Sam effortlessly lifted me over his shoulder though I fought him, writhing in his arms. Sam barely acknowledged it as he carried me to the barn where Bobby was passed out and tied to a chair in the center of the room.

"If you behave yourself I won't put you out again. I know you can't like that too much considering."

I had already been fighting him, trying to prolong things, make this more difficult for him, but his comment simply served to make me angry. I screamed and punched at him as he set me down on the ground. Sam facial expression showed he was clearly irritated by the pitch of my scream.

"Stop screaming," he ordered while grabbing my face in one of his hands and pushing my head back against the wooden pole. I pulled my hands up to push him away, but his other hand grabbed them and held them down.

"Stop," he ordered again, hitting my head against the wooden pole for a second time. My screams turned to sobs as he released my chin and focused on tying my hands behind my back, securing me to the wooden beam. When Sam stood up, I could see that Bobby was awake and looking at us.

"You don't want to do this, Sam. I've been like a father to you kids," Bobby said, the tone of his voice weaker than I had ever heard.

"I have to do this," he answered flatly taking the few steps away from me to stand in front of Bobby.

"Sammy, please don't do this," I begged, "Let Bobby go."

"Sammy, Sammy, Sammy," he mocked, turning his attention back to me, "All you ever do is whine, you know that?"

"Sam, You let her out of here. Do not make your little sister watch this."

"Sorry Bobby, but neither one of you is going anywhere."

I couldn't bring myself to watch as Sam lifted the knife to Bobby's throat, not that I could focus my vision through the tears anyway. I waited for the gruesome sound of a knife slicing through flesh, waited for the sound of Bobby choking on his blood as he took his last breath. The sounds never came, instead I heard Dean's voice. I squinted my eyes open to see Dean's fist connect with Sam's cheek, knocking him out cold and sending his body to the ground. Dean loosened Bobby's binds, but his eyes were on me as he did it. He moved across the room to me, anguish clear on his face as he reached around and loosened the ropes, his eyes still refusing to leave my face. I remained still after he loosened the ropes, my arms still laid limply behind me. Dean pulled my arms free bringing them to rest at my side. I stayed sitting with my back against the pole, finally moving my arms to wrap them around myself. I felt like I was thawing out little by little, my movements slow and disconnected as tears slipped silently down my face. As the tears fell faster bringing with them loud and ugly sounds as I fought to catch my breath, Dean pulled my head forward to lean against his chest as he kneeled, sighing deeply as he held me. When he tried to pull away, I wrapped my arms around him tightly and he sat down on the ground, bringing me closer. When I showed no sign of letting go, Dean pulled away just enough that he could look me in the eyes.

"Sweetheart, you're gonna have to let me go. I know you're scared, but we've got to get Sam on lock down before he wakes up. Just go inside and sit tight for a few minutes while Bobby and I take care of this. Can you do that for me?"

I wanted to say yes. I wanted to be strong and for the first time in a long time, I wanted to be a good little soldier, but I knew I couldn't. The adrenaline had subsided enough and the pain in my ankle was back, sending throbbing signals up through the nerves in my leg. I sniffled a few times, wiping my nose and face with the sleeve of my shirt and I shook my head. I knew I couldn't walk myself all the way back to the house on that.

"I tripped over my ankle," I finally said, my teeth chattering as I spoke the words. I hadn't realized how cold I had gotten, dressed in thin yoga pants and a t-shirt.

"Alright, kiddo," Dean said as he shrugged off his jacket and pulled it over my shoulders, "Can you sit tight here then? I'll be right back to help you, okay?"

I nodded hesitantly. Dean seemed just as hesitant as I was. I didn't want to be alone, but I knew they had to take care of Sam. Bobby couldn't lift Sam on his own. Dean and Bobby dragged Sam's lifeless form from the barn and I watched, staring at the doorway blankly until Dean came back into view a few minutes later. Taking his hands, he guided me to my feet as I leaned against the beam. Dean gently took me in his arms and I allowed myself to lay my head on his chest as we stepped into the moonlight.

"I am so sorry, Nora. If I had known-," Dean started.

My head was tucked under his chin, so he was unable to see that I had been fighting to keep my emotions under control as he spoke. He stopped when he heard the sounds of my bursting into tears again. He held me close as he maneuvered his way over to the couch. Dean soothingly shushed me and insisted over and over that it would all be okay. Words which I wanted to believe though they barely registered in my brain as he said them. He moved on to medical line of questioning as he placed me on the couch, wiping the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs.

"What hurts?"

"Everything," I whined. In reality, I meant that in addition to my ankle and head throbbing, my heart and soul were wounded too.

"I know, kiddo, I know you're hurting, but I need you to be more specific."

"Head and ankle," I let out between hiccups and sniffles.

He gently picked up my foot in his hand, pushing back my pant leg so he could see the swollen ankle.

"Well, thankfully that's just sprained and as for the head…," he said quietly as he stood and felt the back of my head for a bump, "I think you just bumped it. I'll get you some ice and an advil."

Dean took a step towards the kitchen.

"Dean, please join me."

We both froze at hearing Death's voice coming from Bobby's kitchen and I grabbed Dean's hand as the tears started again. I was already at my emotional threshold. Dean squeezed my hand as Death's voice grew and the horseman came to stand in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room.

"Calm yourself, Eleanora. I'm not here for you. Not yet, at least."

Dean turned back to me and pulled a blanket off the end of the couch to cover my shivering form.

"You're okay, kiddo. You're safe now. I'll just be a minute."

Dean's voice didn't waver, but the fact that Death was sitting at Bobby's kitchen table made me question the quality of our safety. I didn't feel as though we were out of harm's way yet.

"I'll just be a second. No matter what happens, stay in here and stay off that ankle."

I couldn't help but feel hyper-vigilant as I stared around the room, the slightest noise or movement making me jump. The slightest noise making me aware of the fact that I was weak and frail, unable to protect myself. I hadn't shrunk away from Dean's touch, I had welcomed it even, though I wasn't sure why. I wasn't sure if I was starting to trust him or if it had come from a basic need of protection, a basic need for comfort. Either way, I felt panicked at him leaving my side now. I couldn't hear what Dean and Death were discussing but I had to assume that it was in regards to Sam's missing soul and the deal they had made a little over a few hours ago. That meant Dean had failed. It meant that Death wouldn't be retrieving Sam's soul. It meant we were stuck with the monster locked up in Bobby's basement. I didn't know how Bobby felt about things, but I was ready to leave Sam right where he was, securely locked up whether he had a soul or not.

I heard Dean take off down the basement stairs. For the first time since being back with them, I didn't want to be alone and I moved in the same direction with as much vigor as I could muster without putting weight on my ankle. I leaned on the coffee table and chairs for support, hopping on one foot until I reached the basement staircase. I sat down on the steps, scooting down them on my butt until I could see. The door to the panic room was wide open, Bobby and Dean's forms stood just beyond the threshold as Sam's protests filled the room before an eerie silence took their place.

"What happened?" I asked quietly, causing Dean to look up as he came back through the door with Bobby just behind him.

"What did I tell you about that ankle?" Dean grumbled.

He wasn't angry with me, but I knew he was unimpressed. I didn't answer him, fairly certain it was meant to be a rhetorical question unless I planned to apologize. Dean scooped me up again and brought me back to the couch. Without another word to me, Dean got to work checking my injuries over more thoroughly as he and Bobby talked. I stayed quiet, listening and watching while Dean wrapped the ankle.

"You've gotta stay off that, Nora. You want me to take you up to bed?"

I shook my head quickly, feeling fresh tears in my eyes. They were already so sore and puffy from crying, but I couldn't stop, "I don't want to be alone."

Dean sat down beside me, pulling me into his lap as I buried my face in his chest. With one hand, Dean held my body to him and with the other, his fingers combed through the tangled mess of hair that fell down my back.

"I'm right here, kiddo."


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: Sorry this didn't come sooner. My return flight was cancelled, so I ended up hanging out in the airport all day Wednesday and taking a red eye (which I conveniently couldn't fall asleep on) so I spent the bulk of yesterday catching up on sleep. Hopefully won't be doing that again any time soon!

* * *

"What are you doing in here? Sun's barely up," Dean mumbled drowsily.

I forced my tired, swollen eyes away from the book and up to my brother's form coming into the room. Dean rubbed the sleep from his face as he shrugged into his flannel shirt. Red marks covered his cheek where he had been resting his face on the pillow. I shifted my weight on the hardwood floor, sitting up straight against the half-filled bookshelves. My body was stiff and sore from the lack of sleep and from staying in one spot for so long. I switched off the small desk lamp I had stolen from Bobby's desk and set next to me on the floor. The sun's early morning rays were slowly expanding their reach across the room, eliminating the lamp's necessity.

"Reading," I murmured as I looked back to the book in my lap.

Dean wheeled Bobby's desk chair about six inches from my feet, which lay spread out in front of me. Resting his elbows on his knees, Dean was watching me. His proximity silently implored me to look up at him, but I kept my eyes firmly planted on the faded pages of lore.

"How long have you been up?" he continued his inquiry.

I shrugged without giving in to his desire for eye contact, pulling the book up to cover my face, the state of it was confirming my brother's concerns.

Dean sighed, "You look exhausted, kiddo."

His assessment wasn't wrong. My eyes were hollow with deep purple circles beneath them, my skin was pale, my hair dull and greasy from lack of care. But my absence of sleep and the unfortunate side effects were the only real grievances that Dean made regarding my condition, the only conspicuous indication that anything was wrong. Overall, things _seemed_ fine.

The morning after Sam attacked Bobby and me, I laid awake with Dean's protective arm around me while he slept. During the early morning hours while I had waited for Dean to wake, I made a very conscious decision to stash my memories of the last few months away in the depths of my mind to be dealt with at a later date. I knew it wasn't the recommended coping mechanism of the APA, but I knew myself well enough to know that I couldn't face it all right then. I needed distance from it. I needed to know that it was over.

And now almost a week had passed since Death shoved Sam's soul back inside of him. Sam now existed solely as a lifeless form in Bobby's basement panic room, a status which I was fairly content with. I maintained a comfortable distance between myself and the doorway leading down to the basement, resolving to stay away from him. While Bobby and Dean made multiple trips down the stairs to check on Sam, I made sure to keep myself busy with other things.

I stuck close by Dean and Bobby rather than retreating to my room. I took to hobbling around on my good ankle to find Dean if he strayed out of my sights unannounced. I spent my days in Bobby's office with the books or curled up on his couch watching reruns of Law and Order while Bobby and Dean went about their regular business. I spent the evenings staying up late with Dean and Bobby, playing cards, watching movies or listening to the two of them talk. I kept myself up until I was too drained to fight off the need for rest, until I knew I would be able to get a few precious hours out of pure exhaustion before the nightmares took over. Today was the fourth day in a row that Dean had found me in the library during the early morning hours surrounded by piles of books.

"You know I can't let this go on forever, Nora," Dean finally said. I didn't need to ask what 'this' meant. Dean had kept a close eye on me since everything happened. When he first had me back, he had been too afraid to push the envelope, to question the way I was handling things. I could feel that he was slowly gaining back his confidence with me.

"I'm fine. I promised Bobby I would organize his books. I don't break promises, Dean," I snapped the words at him and he frowned. I just couldn't help myself from snapping at him, justified or not. The less desirable emotions – anger, fear, sadness, anxiety – just came out regardless of how irrational it was and they were generally directed at Dean.

"I know you're not sleeping, kiddo. And you're seriously trying to tell me you think _all of this_ is okay?" Dean gestured to me as he spoke, "You're in denial and it's not healthy."

"Well, I learned from the best," I answered casually while I continued looking down at my book. I couldn't focus on the words as my eyes scanned over them, but I was certainly trying my best to pretend.

I heard a frustrated sigh escape Dean's lips, a common reaction to our interactions these days. Dean was stressed out about Sam and I knew that my yo-yo emotions weren't helping, but it was far from intentional. I felt very hot and cold. I wanted to be near him. I wanted to feel safe and loved and cared for, but I also snapped at him for the slightest offences. I muttered rude retorts under my breath with little regard for his feelings. I let him in and then subconsciously pushed him away with small offenses. Dean didn't actively push me to talk or reprimand me for the anger directed his way, but I knew he wouldn't take it much longer. He saw right through my misplaced productivity, right through my use of books and dated reruns as avoidance, as a way to escape.

"Dean, I'm fine," I offered when I glanced up to his troubled stare.

"Well, we're sleeping upstairs tonight. No more passing out to the cult classics. I want you to get a full eight hours. That couch isn't good for either of us."

I groaned my dissent and finally closed the book, marking my place with a random slip of paper before looking up to him with a pout, "The couch is fine…and I need the TV to fall asleep. Just because you're an old man and-."

"It's non-negotiable," he interrupted, the look on his face stern. It was the first that I had seen that look on his face in some time and its appearance eliminated my desire to argue. In all truth, I didn't need the TV to fall asleep and my back was starting to take offense to sleeping on the couch, but I liked not having time to lay in bed and dwell on my thoughts. I could focus on the plot of whatever movie until I drifted to sleep.

"Come on. Let's have breakfast," Dean said, noticing my silence. He stood up, reaching down a hand which I grasped. Dean effortlessly pulled me to my feet before he slipped his arm behind my knee, bringing me up into his arms.

"Put me down, Dean," I protested.

"I don't want you on that ankle."

"But-," I whined, fully intent on convincing him to let me down.

"No buts. Until your angel friend gets his feathery ass down here to heal it, you are to stay off the ankle, understood?"

I didn't answer, but he took my silence as submission, which it was, and took me to the kitchen. If anything was bothering his back, it wasn't the springs in Bobby's ancient couch; it was his insistence that I keep off my ankle as much as possible. Part of his reasoning was medical, but I knew that it was also a convenient way for him to keep close tabs on me. Dean had made a habit of waiting on me hand and foot, making sure that I ate regularly and made it from point A to point B as necessary. Bobby had joined in too, with both men insisting that I call out if I need something rather than getting it myself. Like me, both seemed to be making an extra effort to stay busy while they waited for Sam to wake. They used my injury to pass the time.

* * *

As the afternoon wore on, the dull ache in my ankle returned, bringing my attention from the book and back to reality. Bobby's house was nearly silent something which made me uncomfortable. I looked up from my book to see I was alone. Bobby must have snuck out while I was reading. I leaned on the floor so I could peek around the corner to see into the kitchen. The room was vacant.

"Dean?" I called tentatively, receiving silence as an answer.

A subliminal, irrepressible panic rose in my chest at the quietness, subsiding only when I heard familiar shouts directly below. Castiel had finally arrived. I shuddered at the tone of Dean's voice, though I couldn't distinguish the words he shouted. I knew that the reunion between the two would not be pleasant, but I had not expected to hear Castiel's voice raised to meet Dean's. Ignoring the ache in my ankle, I pulled myself to my feet and hopped towards the stairs on my good foot, standing just behind the door which was cracked open. Castiel's muttering form stormed up the stairs, sending me to floor as he pushed through the doorway. He closed the basement door behind him with a slam before noticing me on the floor.

"Why are you sitting on the floor?" he asked.

I didn't have to heart to tell him that in his frenzy, he had knocked me down.

"I fell. Everything okay?" I asked as he stepped forward, pulling me up with two hands under my arms before crossing the room, subtly pacing. Cas wasn't normally one to get ruffled, but he certainly was now.

"I don't know," Cas answered gruffly before finally looking to me, offering me a softer look though he couldn't find it in him to muster a smile.

"I'm sorry, Eleanora, but I do not have time. I will heal your ankle and then I need to get back."

Disappointed, I nodded my understanding and sat in the nearest chair. Castiel knelt down in front of me and I lifted my bare foot to rest on his knee.

"Dean said you aren't sleeping," he mused, a sounding more like a question than a statement as he unwrapped the bandage, his hands warm on my skin.

I shrugged my shoulders, my new favorite response to any and all questions I didn't feel like answering. Dean, Bobby and now Castiel were all so concerned with my sleeping habits, my eating habits, my everything. All things considered, I thought I was doing okay. I wasn't holed up in my room crying or silently staring off into nothingness. I didn't spend my days sleeping. I didn't flinch when Dean and Bobby reached out for me. I wasn't quite in touch with everything that had happened, but I felt I needed that right now. I was aware that I was protecting myself from the mess. I had earned the right to populate my thoughts Bobby's books and Law and Order rather than relive the memories. I was coping, even if it wasn't in the way that they all wanted. I had let Dean back in enough that some of his concern had been laid to rest. He wasn't as scared for me, he wasn't raked with guilt like before. We hadn't talked about any of what had happened or about the nightmares keeping me awake at night, but at least we were talking.

"I'm having the dreams again," I mumbled into the uncomfortable silence that had settled between us. As I gained the courage to expand upon my admission, Castiel's characteristic healing warmth spread through my ankle. I had always been able to talk to the angel about anything. He had always shown an unexpected understanding and patience when it came to me.

"You need to speak with Dean. He is concerned. You should tell him everything," Cas said as he looked over my ankle.

"Well, I want to talk with you," I answered, responding to hiss patronizing tone with an attitude of my own. My arms had subconsciously shifted to sit across my chest. When he didn't respond, I retracted my foot, taking it from his grasp.

Cas looked to me with…was it _aggravation_? I had never seen him look at me that way.

"Yes, Eleanora. Certainly, let me put the civil war in heaven on hold, because as usual, the Winchester's needs far surpass the needs of the world as a whole."

It was one of the first times that Castiel's frustration had been taken out on me and I flinched as he spoke, feeling guilt wash over me.

"I didn't mean it that way, Cas. I'm sorry," I offered quietly.

Castiel studied my expression and an uncomfortably drawn-out quiet settled between us. I couldn't help but looking to my feet, feeling ashamed. It wasn't long before Cas placed a finger beneath my chin, lifting it before he spoke, "Do you trust Dean? You are not afraid of him?"

I nodded a hesitant agreement. Any fear or distrust I harbored towards Dean had been washed away with the tears that had drenched his shirt as he held me after securing Sam. That night I had latched onto my brother like my life depended on it. If it hadn't been for his timely arrival in the barn, Bobby would have been dead. I couldn't be sure what Sam would have done to me.

"I had no intention of snapping at you, Eleanora. I understand you have been through great distress, both you and your brother, but you cannot rely upon me. Not now. You and Dean have each other. Do you understand?"

I didn't understand, but I nodded anyway. Cas had always had time for me. He had made time for me when I needed it. But things had changed and I knew that. Castiel had bigger issues than my nightmares. Bigger issues than our fractured lives, bigger issues than Sam's soul.

"Is his soul intact?" I whispered, feeling the words forming in my mouth before my brain could stop me, projecting out like vomit.

Castiel's response began with a slight frown, the pity he held for me, for all of us, clear on his face. He knew that I was terrified of the soulless version of Sam and simultaneously terrified of losing him all together.

"His soul is present. I do not know the caliber of damage," he offered though his deflected eyes told me he wasn't being truthful. Castiel had been against this from the start, had been insistent that nothing good could come from replacing the tortured soul. Noticing that I was studying him, Cas continued, "If the wall is successful and he wakes, that should be your Sam downstairs."

I felt the lump forming in my throat as I fought to hold back the emotions. _My Sam_. The kind-hearted, nerdy genius. My big brother. I hadn't let my mind focus too much on the possible positive outcomes. It would be too hard to take if the whole thing hadn't worked. Castiel clamped a hand on my shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

"I must go now, Eleanora. Take care."

Cas disappeared without another word and I took a moment to swallow the lump in my throat as I contemplated Cas's advice to tell Dean. Castiel had never steered me wrong, but I had barely been able to keep it together after uttering four words about Sam. How could I ever tell Dean all that had happened? Castiel's visit left me with an empty feeling inside. We had always been so comfortable, but he was different or I was. Maybe we both were. Like everything else, I pushed the thoughts aside and grabbed the book I had been reading from the office before heading back to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and took out a beer before slipping up onto the counter and taking a long swig.

Bobby and Dean came up through the basement and occupied two seats at the table, continuing their conversation, completely unaware that I was in the room. I stayed quiet, my curiosity getting the best of me.

"Sam will bounce back," Bobby insisted, "He's strong. Always has been."

"Yeah…" Dean absently agreed, his eyes catching sight of me as he placed his hand on the handle to the refrigerator, my attempt at intel gathering short lived.

"So, Cas seems tense," I offered while I attempted to slide the bottle of beer behind me. Dean looked between my face, my ankle, the beer bottle and the countertop, unsure of which of my offences he should address first. His gaze went back to the bottle with a frown and I placed the beer in his hand before sliding off the counter, hoping he would let both infractions go.

"Bobby, you want a beer?" I asked, leaning around Dean's large frame.

"Thanks darlin'," Bobby answered.

I ducked under Dean's arm and pulled a beer out of the fridge for Bobby before grabbing a coke for myself. I headed for the table and gave Bobby his beer, flinching slightly when Dean closed the refrigerator door.

"I thought I told you to stay off that damn ankle," Dean complained as he sat down at the table with my half empty bottle of beer.

"All healed," I answered as I sat down beside him, putting my feet up on his lap. Dean took the ankle in his hand, checking it over until he was satisfied that Castiel had mended it properly.

"And what did I tell you about drinking?" he said.

His question brought a warm flush to my cheeks and I realized this was about to be the first scolding since being back with him. I hadn't been drinking much, just a beer every once in a while when I needed to relax, but he didn't know that. As far as he knew, the only drinks to touch my lips were the ones he allowed while we played poker or watched TV. Dean's empty hand found my chin and forced me to look at him.

"Huh? What did I say about it?" he prompted.

"Sorry, Dean," I offered.

He nodded, content with the apology and let his hand fall from my face as he turned back to his drink.

"I said I'd kick your butt, just so we're clear. I said if I catch you drinking without me, I'll kick your butt," he said as his hand found my side, tickling just enough that I let out a laugh and squirmed away from him until he stopped.

"I believe you actually said that you'd _kick my ass_ ," I said after pulling my chair closer to Bobby.

He scowled at me for a second before smiling again.

"To-may-to, to-mah-to. Either way, I meant it," Dean said as he jokingly shook his finger in my face.

"He's right. Don't follow our example, princess. You're better than either of us will ever be," Bobby answered with a smile.

I smiled back at Bobby though hearing him call me _princess_ made my stomach turn. I opened the book and set it in my lap, effectively forcing myself to forget and tuning out their discussion as I read a chapter about pagan gods. As their conversation returned to Sam, I found I couldn't ignore them anymore, my mind honing in on their words as I feigned focusing on the page in front of my eyes. Dean clasped his hand on my leg and I looked up to see him watching at me, his concern clear though he forced a small smile.

"Kiddo, let's get out of here for a bit," he said, nodding his head towards the front door.

"Where are we going?"

"Just out. Go get dressed," he answered, shooing my feet off his lap as I groaned.

"I'm in the middle of something," I answered, holding up the book. Dean took it from my hands, placing it on the table.

"The books will be here when we get back."

* * *

"You don't like hiking," I said as Dean pulled into the small dirt parking lot.

"Yeah, but you do," Dean answered before opening the door and getting out of the car. I followed him to the trunk, changing into the boots I kept in the trunk. Dean pulled a small backpack from the back of the trunk.

"Provisions," he said as he showed me the contents - peanut m&m's, a water bottle and a beer. I stifled a laugh as he tried to pull it on over his leather jacket and he shot me a grimace.

"Lose the jacket, Dean. It's a mountain, not a biker club."

He grumbled but pulled off the jacket and stuffed it in the trunk. We started up the trail, the only sound between us was the noise made by the leaves and twigs crunching beneath our feet. It was the first that I had been out of the house in a week and I had to admit that the cool air in my lungs was refreshing. I wasn't sure how much time had passed during which Dean and I stayed quiet, but we were a decent distance up the side of the mountain when his voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"I remember Sammy used to bring you here a lot. Always got you both out of my hair for a few hours. You remember?"

I stopped walking, but Dean took a few more steps before realizing I wasn't beside him. Of course the second we pulled in the parking lot, I remembered that I had been here several times with Sam. Back before he went to college he had made a habit of taking me hiking when I got too antsy sitting around at Bobby's. And once he started hunting again, it just became something we did between hunts if there was time.

"Dean, I don't want to talk about this," I said, my eyes on the ground.

"Which _this_ , Nora?"

"All of it, De. Just let it go," I begged, "I'm not ready."

"No, I'm not going to just let it go. You're never going to be ready and I am not going to sit by and watch you struggle with this on your own. I'm here for you. I'm sorry you can't have Sammy or Cas or Dad or Mom to help you. But you've got me. And you've got Bobby too. You have to let me help. We're all we've got right now."

 _We're all we've got right now_. The words echoed in my brain after he said them. I hadn't been actively listening to anything that had been said regarding Sam over the last week, but I knew that his prognosis wasn't good. I knew that his unfavorable condition had been what Dean and Castiel were fighting about. I knew that's why Bobby half-heartedly insisted that Sam would pull through. I knew there was a big chance that he wouldn't pull through.

"I don't care. I don't even want him to wake up," I answered, throwing my arms across my chest and leaning back against a tree. Dean's face fell.

"You don't mean that, kiddo. I know you don't mean that."

I wasn't sure whether I meant it or not. Part of me never wanted that _thing_ in the basement to wake up. He had tried to kill Bobby, he had tied me up and attacked me. He wasn't my brother. Even with his soul back, we didn't know what we were getting. It was too much for me to navigate the possibilities with all that happened. It was too much to think about forgiving all that he had done to me and to Bobby, knowingly or not. It was easier to hate him, it was easier than being terrified.

"That was not our Sammy who did this to you. He would never hurt you, you know that. Deep down, I know you know that, Nora."

"He tied me up and knocked me out. You don't even know if he'll be any different. I'm scared, Dean," I finally answered, tears springing to my eyes for the first time in days. Dean closed the distance between us within seconds, pulling my crying form into his arms.

"And the dreams...I can't do this. It's like I'm still locked up in there."

"You're not. You're safe. I promise, kiddo. You're safe now."

When I calmed down enough that my sobs became sniffles, we walked back to the car. I crawled across the front seat to rest my head against Dean's chest before he could put the key in the ignition. He stroked his fingers through my hair until words spilled out of me like a floodgate was opened. I recounted my time with Crowley and what happened the night that Sam attacked us. I told him about the nightmares that had been keeping me awake ever since.

But I knew I couldn't tell my brother everything about the dreams, not when I wasn't sure about what they meant. And I couldn't tell Dean about the deal I had negotiated with the King of Hell or the voicemail saved on my phone that I had yet to listen to.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Sorry it's been so long since the last update. I started my new job last Monday and things have been a bit hectic. Hopefully the adjustment period is mostly over and I can get back to regularly posting. My intention is to post weekly from here on out. While I will put forth my honest effort to make that happen, I won't make any promises on that front. I will try my best though! Also sorry about typos/general unruliness in this chapter- I didn't proof as much as usual as I wanted to get it out to you guys! Exciting developments are on their way so please bear with me if you are enjoying the story so far and can deal with semi-spontaneous chapter postings from here on out. Again thanks for all of the reviews and support! xoxo-Hannah**

* * *

I inched my way towards the edge of the bed as carefully as possible, trying not to wake Dean. Using gentle, hushed movements, I swung my feet over the edge of the bed intending to make my way down to the office. It was a little after 2:30 in the morning, but the rest I had gotten was more than I had for days. I remembered Dean carrying me up to bed, half-asleep after I had fallen asleep on the couch. I let out a surprised cry when Dean's hand slipped around my wrist, stopping me.

"Kiddo, get a few more hours," he mumbled when I tried to pull my arm away from him. I turned to him with tears brimming in my eyes. Dean was barely awake, but he woke quickly once he saw my tears. Though I was still plagued by dreams – of Crowley, of Sam, of the woman – the dreams weren't waking me. They had slowly but surely been lessening in intensity as the days wore on. But now a soft voice was bringing me to consciousness, growing more intense each time the voice cooed its message, _"Do not worry my daughter, I am coming home."_

"What is it?" Dean said as he sat up in the bed and turned on the light. I scooted back against the headboard and pulled my knees into my chest, shaking my head back and forth as my body shook. "You can talk to me, Nora," he said, wiping away the tears on my cheek with a thumb.

"I know," I answered with a shaky voice. Dean pulled me closer to him, pushing sweaty hair back from my face.

"Nora, talk to me," he begged, "You're freezing."

"I just want to go back to sleep," I muttered.

"Okay, kiddo," he relented, "It's okay, come here."

I inched closer to my brother and rested my head on his chest as he pulled a blanket around me. I waited there with his arm wrapped around me, wide awake, until his breathing became regular, quiet snores rumbling beneath my head. I didn't bother trying to squirm out of his grasp. In the quiet of Bobby's guestroom and in the comfort of my brother's presence, I allowed myself to feel safe, even though I knew he couldn't keep either the dreams or the voices at bay.

* * *

I sat on the window seat in Bobby's office staring at the google homepage on Sam's laptop. I had finished rearranging Bobby's books and had now been forced to find other ways to entertain myself. I didn't know where to start my search, but the idea of researching the problems made me feel productive. Deep down I knew the results would do nothing to calm my anxiety, but the process was a temporary distraction. I couldn't resist typing my concerns into the search bar. _Hearing voices? Dreaming of childhood memories? How to stop nightmares? Am I adopted?_ The voice referred to me as daughter and I couldn't shake the thought. I couldn't help but study Dean's face in search of similarities to my own. We looked alike, there was no doubt in my mind, but still…the voice. The only realistic conclusion I could make was that I was, quite plainly, going insane and that everything that had happened to me had been too much to handle. I was mentally unstable. I was fit to be institutionalized. I barely acknowledged Bobby and Dean's presence in the room as I concentrated on sifting through the first page of search results- _Hearing voices is an auditory hallucination that is the most common type of hallucination in people with psychotic disorders._ I found myself carelessly biting at my fingernail as I scrolled through the page. I could have had a mental break. I wouldn't have doubted it.

" **Dean."**

The sound of his voice forced the bitter taste of bile to rise in my throat, burning as it traveled towards my mouth only to be choked back down. I feigned invisibility, willing his attention to stay on Dean. My heartrate soared, blood pumping loudly in my ears, bringing with it a distinct pain in my head. My mouth felt dry. Sam hadn't noticed me yet, his eyes focused so intently on Dean as he stood, hesitance enveloping him. I felt my back press against the cool window pane before I realized I was pushing myself backwards, away from Sam's presence in the room. I fleetingly cursed Bobby for not having curtains that I could use to conceal myself.

I wanted to run, but I couldn't find the conviction.

"Sammy?" Dean questioned. At the sound of his voice, Sam closed the distance between them and pulled Dean into a tight embrace. As Sam moved on to embrace Bobby, Dean's eyes found me, searching for a reaction, but I didn't have one. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the end of Sam's embrace with Bobby. Sam followed Dean's gaze to my form.

"Nora?" he question.

I felt a part of me breakdown at hearing him speak my name. There was something in the tone, so soft, so hesitant, so gentle, _so happy_. The way Sam studied at me, it was obvious that he recognized a change. Physically, I was more mature, but I had a suspicion that Sam was reacting more to my scrawny form, the exhaustion and fear painted on my pale face as I stared back at him. I felt a familiar burn in my throat as a lump pushed for me to release a sob. The tears were demanding release, but I wouldn't allow them to come. I couldn't allow it.

When Sam stepped forward, I sprinted towards the front door. I knew that they could chase and catch me if they wanted to, but I didn't bother to check behind me as I ran. I focused on my labored breathing and the sound my shoes made on contact with the ground. That was all there was. The inhale. The exhale. Rubber on dirt. Rubber on grass. I slowed to a stop beyond the tree line, just inside the woods where I had been forbidden to play in as a child. Rays of daylight still trickled through into the clearing, fractured by naked winter branches. I regretted leaving without a coat now that I had stopped running and the cold consumed me.

"Hello, Princess."

A laugh escaped my lips at hearing the voice. These hallucinations were really getting to be too much. Any normal teenager would have been sent to a shrink by now, but we couldn't afford that. We solved our own problems anyway. The clearing of a throat stopped my laughter and I turned to see the familiar shiny dress shoes, the well-dressed form, the unkind, though handsome sneer and a pair of black eyes.

"What's so funny, Princess?"

"No," I said, shaking my head, "No, no, no. You're not real."

Bas stepped forward, forcing my back against one of the trees on the far edge of the clearing.

"Oh, Miss Winchester on the contrary, I assure you that I am very real."

His soft hand held my chin, forcing me to look up at him.

"You've been neglecting your responsibilities. You made a business deal."

"How did you find me?" I asked. I was supposed to be untraceable – by angels or demons. Bobby's land was protected. Castiel had seen to all of it. I was safeguarded.

Bas raised an eyebrow, "Don't insult me. Tell me about the dreams you've been having."

"The deal is done. Crowley cheated."

"A deal is a deal, my dear."

I shook my head, "No, I'm done with this. It's done. I'm not telling you anything," I argued.

"So there's something to tell then?"

I gulped, regretting use of the words, "No, there's nothing to tell."

Bas laughed at me with such casualness that I felt I was an insignificant, trivial task he needed to tick of his list, "Tell me," he said, as he forced my back to slam against the trunk of the tree. As we heard the voices calling my name, Bas turned away just for a second.

"They're looking for me," I said smugly.

"Let's deal with one thing at a time." He said as he took in a deep breath, his thumb absently brushing over my lip, "Now, where were we? Ah, yes. Tell me what I need to know."

"No!" I screamed, "Sa-!"

I had tried to call out for help. Sam's voice had been closer, louder, more desperate, more concerned. Bas's hand found my throat, squeezing until noise could no longer escape the pipe. Bas's eyes flashed back before he turned to face Sam as he came into the clearing, his hand still placed firmly on my throat.

"Welcome Sam. Nora has shared so much about you."

Bas had lessen the pressure on my throat, allowing small breaths. Bas was right. He knew more about Sam than I felt comfortable with, but that hadn't been my choice to share. Sam's eyes flashed to mine for a second. I tried to speak only for Bas to again stop the airflow with his hand. I struggled against his hand, pulling at his fingers with both hands. Bas paid me no attention as he watched Sam step further into the clearing.

"Let her go," Sam growled.

"Princess is learning a lesson right now. I'll let her go when finished."

I could hear their voices, but the sounds became muffled as the corner of my vision turned dark, like a vignette. I felt the sweat beading on my back, my neck and forehead. I was too hot, though the sweat felt cold on my skin. The high pitched squeal in my ear grew stronger then faded away, but somehow it all stopped. I was in a vacuum. I felt the ground beneath me as I curled my legs into my chest. My eyes caught a limp form fall to the ground beside me. I was too tired to distinguish who had fallen. My throat was too sore to call out.

* * *

 _The hands which grabbed me felt warm to the touch. In the dimness of the night, I couldn't distinguish their faces. The air that touched my skin and the ground beneath my bare feet felt warm._

" _It's your lucky day, little girl."_

" _No, let me go," I argued, my voice hoarse. I was thirsty, the dry air making my throat sore. I fought against the grip the two men had on me, though I was too weak to overcome them._

' **Do not fight, my daughter. I need you. We need your help.'** _It was the voice again. One of the men shook me, bringing my attention back to them._

" _Did you hear me? I said you should be honored to be chosen by her."_

" _Let me go!" I fought against him. The heat was rising as he moved forward, towards the edge of a cliff. It was too warm, the rocks burned the soles of my feet. I received no answer as together, the men pushed me towards the edge. I braced myself for impact in the pit of lava. I hoped death would come quick. I hoped pain would be so great that I would pass out right away. I hoped that I would again get to see my father. I hoped I would see my mother._

 _There was no impact, only warm air and darkness. I felt the presence of another in the space. I felt the brush of pressure graze against my cheek._

" _My Eleanora, how you've grown. You are ready."_

 _I couldn't explain the pride I felt at the words. I knew the voice. I trusted the voice._

" _Who are you?" I asked, reaching out for the presence though my hands returned to my side empty._

" _We've known each other a long time, darling."_

" _Who are you?"_

" _All in good time, Eleanora. Keep questioning. We'll see each other soon. I promise."_

 _Before I could process it, I was falling towards the orange glowing base of the pit, screams escaping my lips in shock as I plummeted to my death._

* * *

My screams continued even after I opened my eyes in Bobby's guest room. Sam stood above me, his hands placed on my shoulders, concern lacing his features. As I quieted, Sam's eyes searched mine. The vision of a body beside me on the dirt flashed in my mind.

"Bas," I whispered.

"Dead," Sam answered, "I used the demon blade. You're safe."

I felt guilty for the brief sense of confliction at Sam's admission. The demon Nybbas was dead and I should have been relieved, but instead I felt dread, anticipation of worse things to come. Bas was the evil I knew and far better than what was to come.

"Nora?"

I didn't move at the sound of my brother's voice as he sat beside me on the bed. The lack of verbal response and the lack of physical movement brought him down to my level. Sam pushed my hair back from my face, his hand gentle and tender as he let his hand rest on my cheek. The touch snapped me out of my trance.

"I'm so sorry, Nora," he said, his lips pulled down into a slight frown.

I didn't know what Sam was sorry for. Dean hadn't told him anything that had happened to me. There was too much at risk with Sam's "wall." But I didn't care what Sam was apologizing for. As he pulled his hand away, I grasped his it, holding it in my own. In a moment, every negative feeling I had towards Sam faded away. I couldn't explain it, maybe it was something in his voice, something in his touch, but I didn't want to fight it anymore. I didn't want to fear him. I didn't want to hate him. This Sam had a soul. This Sam's voice gave me hope. The conflicted look in his eye gave me hope. This was my Sammy. I pulled myself up and wrapped my arms around his chest. He let out a chuckle as he pulled me in close, his hand cradling my head as I dissolved into tears.

"What's wrong? What happened?" he asked, pulling away from me a little. I tried to move away, but Sam caught my face with his hand, turning it to catch a bit of the light that spilled into the room from the hallway. I shrugged my shoulders, wiping the tears from my eyes. Light flooded the room as Dean pulled the door ajar.

"Why didn't you tell me she was up?" Dean directed at Sam before turning to me, "You okay?" he asked as he strode forwards, pulling me into his arms, crushing me against his chest, "You can't just run off like that. It's not safe," he scolded lightly. Dean let me out of his grasp and stood in front of me, stopping in his tracks when he noticed the look on my face and the bruise on my neck.

"Are you okay, kiddo?" he asked again.

I couldn't find the words to answer, "Sam, what's-?" he prompted only to be cut off.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I screwed everything up. I fucked up and now I-." my voice was raspy and each word grated on my throat.

"Kiddo, chill. This isn't your fault. You didn't do anything-."

"No, I'm stupid. I-," I cried, my voice cracking and sore.

"Shss," Dean insisted, "Nora, a demon found you. That's not your fault. If I blame anyone, it's Cas. He was supposed to make sure- forget it. Just calm down. You've got to take it easy. Go take a shower. We'll have dinner and then we'll talk about it, okay kiddo? I don't want you getting all worked up."

When I was able to calm myself enough, I nodded my agreement and followed Dean's advice to take a hot shower. I needed time to think through my explanation, think of a way to spin this that it would make sense. I needed time to justify why I had kept it from him for so long. I had watched so many of them be scorned by devil deals and here I was stuck in one of my own. I couldn't imagine any scenario where this went well.

I pulled the brush through my hair, working out the knots aimlessly as I sat on the edge of the bed. My shower had given me time to calm down, time to realize how much trouble my admission was about to bring. It allowed regret to settle in. I had decided on writing it all out. That way the explanation was all there if I couldn't find the words. That way I wouldn't have to talk if my throat became too sore. That way we wouldn't have to discuss anything. It was all there for them to read. I headed downstairs in pajamas – one of Dean's old t-shirts and pink flannel pajama pants I had gotten years before. I hoped the ensemble would remind them of simpler times.

I sat down beside Bobby at the table and Dean placed a bowl of soup at my place before sitting across from me, besides Sam. I stirred the bowl, focusing my attention on the soup while they all talked.

"What's the last thing you remember, Sam?" Dean asked.

"The field," he paused, catching my eye and frowning, "I remember everything I did to you guys and then I remember falling."

"Okay and next?"

"Waking up in the panic room," Sam answered.

Bobby choked a little on the sip of beer he had taken, "That's it. You really don't remember-,"

"Let's be glad that's it. Let's be glad he doesn't have to remember hell, ok? Not everyone can be that lucky," Dean answered plainly, his gaze falling to me as I stared at him in awe, "You going to eat that or just keep stirring?"

I slurped a spoonful, "Ha…happy?" I croaked, having to clear my throat to finish the word.

Dean raised an eyebrow and I raised my hands in surrender as he turned back to his conversation.

"Well, how long was I gone?" Sam interrupted.

"About a year and a half," Dean said, turning his attention back to Sam.

"What?" I've been downstairs for – I don't remember anything? How did I get back? Cas?" he pressed.

"Not exactly," Dean answered, taking a long drink from his beer.

"Dean, what the hell did you do?" Sam's gaze moved around the room, locking with each of us in his conquest for the truth, "You better not have made some goddamn demon deal again," he said and I trained my eyes on my lap, feeling nausea rising at the mere mention of it.

"Well, me and Death-," Dean barely got the words out before Sam exploded, rising from his chair to tower above the table.

"WHAT? DEATH – THE HORSEMAN?"

"I had leverage. No risk. It's all done."

"It's all over. Slate's wiped completely clean."

"Nice and clean. Done and over just like that," the fakeness was oozing out of Bobby as he stood up from the table, sliding his dish into the sink, though neither of the boys really acknowledged it.

"Yes, for once in our lives, it is," Dean insisted.

"Anything else you all want to tell me?" Sam asked.

"Not from me. Nora's turn to share with the group," Dean said, gesturing to me.

I stood up from the table, walked to the fridge and took out three beers, sliding them to the center of the table. I stood away from the table, maintaining a clear pathway to the stairway in case things went south. I hesitated, wanting for their comfort and assistance on the matter, but also aware of my need for self-preservation.

"What is it, Nora?" I was surprised to hear Sam to be the one to prompt me.

"I-,"

 _Eleanora, do not tell them_. A whimper escaped my lips. The voices had come while I was sleeping, not while awake. They were notorious for pulling me from slumber, not interrupting my reality.

"Nora," Dean said, moving to stand up and come closer.

I held up a hand to stop his movement towards me. I needed the distance in order to conjure up enough bravery to tell them. I had rehearsed long, detailed explanations in the shower which could have spared me some of the lecture sure to come, but instead I quickly mumbled, "I made a demon deal."

"You did what?" It was Dean who spoke first and this time he didn't let me stop him from moving towards me.

"Don't freak out yet, just let me explain," I whispered.

"You think this is freaking out? I'm nowhere near-"

"Dean, let her explain," Sam suggested quietly, offering me with an encouraging smile, "Go ahead, Nora."

Dean softened, but refused to sit back down, leaning against the wall a few feet away from me and crossing his arms across his chest as his scowl fell on me. My voice was already hoarse and I knew my voice wouldn't last through the explanation. I took the folded paper from my pocket and held it out for Dean to take.

"Read it," I breathed.

Dean obliged, reading the words aloud for Bobby and Sam to hear as well. Dean stood between me and the stairway, eliminating the possibility of my escape. I studied my feet while he read, avoiding their reactions. I felt tears warm on my cheeks before Dean finished reading.

"We'll fix this. I'll call Cas down and we'll take care of this," he said as he pulled me into his arms.


	26. Chapter 26

I snapped out of my reverie as the microwaved sounded and jumped to stop the beeping. I didn't want to wake Sammy. I turned around to glance in the living room where he was still snoozing on the couch. Sam had subconsciously stretched out his legs as soon as I moved from my spot, though his feet still hung off the edge. I took my now too hot mug of coffee from the microwave and headed out to the front porch. Dean and Bobby were standing by the trunk of the Impala.

"What's going on?" I asked as I closed the distance between us.

"New case," Dean answered without looking to me, "Just a quick job up in Oregon."

"You were just gonna go without saying anything?" I asked before taking a sip of the coffee. It burned my tongue and throat as I swallowed. Setting the mu aside, I pulled myself up onto an empty barrel to sit down. Dean hesitated to give an answer and I glanced to Bobby though he looked just as hesitant as Dean.

The days since Sam woke up with his soul had passed slowly and had been relatively uneventful. Sam and I spent our time recuperating as per Dean's orders. Dean on the other hand had kept himself busy by running errands for Bobby, making trips to the local bar and tuning up the Impala. Dean was anxious to get back to hunting. It was the same subtle anxiety that had flowed off of him in waves during the whole year we spent with Ben and Lisa. I questioned if Dean would ever really relax during his lifetime.

"She's got a point, Dean. Maybe we shouldn't leave her here with-."

"No, Bobby," Dean interrupted before turning to face me, "You and Sam need to rest up and that's why we didn't wake you. We were gonna call you and Sam from the road."

"Call us from where?" Sam asked, spooking me as he stepped close, clasping his hands on my shoulders.

"From the road. There's a case up in Oregon. Quick and easy," Dean answered exasperated.

"Sounds great. I'm in," Sam answered, "What do you think, Nor?" he prompted, squeezing the shoulders he had yet to remove his hands from.

I shrugged, "I could use a good distraction."

"No, look," Dean answered, shaking his head as he stepped towards us, "Sam, you _just_ got vertical and kiddo, you need some time to heal up and get some rest, both of you went through-."

"Dean, we're fine," Sam answered.

"Yeah, Dean, we're fine," I echoed.

I saw Bobby roll his eyes when he thought no one was watching. He had already pulled his bag from the car and was putting distance between himself and the Impala. Dean huffed his frustration at our resistance, but I could already see the cracks in his defense. I knew it wasn't because of me. Dean was all but immune to my charms lately, but Sam had always been a master at getting his way with Dean. It was effortless. I was pretty sure Sam didn't even know he was doing it most of the time.

"Well a few more days of crap cable couldn't hurt either one of you. Enjoy your Law and Order marathon," he grunted.

"Right. Because that's what you did when you got back. Dean, you can't keep the two of us locked up."

"And we're fine," I chimed.

"Alright, fine. We'll go, all four of us will go. National Lampoon's supernatural hunting vacation," Dean answered with an eye roll.

"You three kids go ahead. Someone's gotta stay and work the phones for Rufus," Bobby grunted.

All three of our eyes fell on Bobby. Disappointment and exhaustion were clear on his face and I couldn't help but wonder when the last time was that Bobby went somewhere on a vacation. He needed a break from everything we had put him through, maybe the three of us going out on the road would give him some time to relax.

"You sure, Bobby?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sure. You three need time to catch up. Go ahead."

Bobby squeezed my shoulder on his way back towards the house.

"Well, go get ready, I guess," Dean said, nodding towards the house. Without another word, I hurried back inside to change out of my pajamas and pack a bag. It was already midday, but I hadn't bothered to change yet. The last couple of days had passed similarly to Dean's description – crap cable and napping on the couch while Sam and I eased back into things. While it had been nice to take it easy for a few days, I was ready to occupy my mind with something. I was ready to have something to think about other than bad dreams and voices. A few minutes after I had made it upstairs, I heard a knock on the door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I groaned knowing how impatient the boys could be when we were heading out on a case. The door squeaked as it opened and Bobby leaned against the frame.

"Are you okay with going out on this job, sweetheart? That rib could still be-" he asked.

I stuffed a few sets of clothes into a bag and cut him off before he could finish, "Bobby, I'm fine. It's not broken. It's not like those two are going to let me really help anyway."

"You've just been through a lot. You sure you don't want to just lay low for a bit?" he was treading lightly, but Bobby couldn't hide his feelings. He wanted me to stay and he still didn't trust Sam. After everything that happened, I couldn't blame him. It wasn't in Bobby's nature to forget so easily.

"I've been laying low. I need to think about something else for a while. Plus, Sam's going. It's like old times."

"Yeah, yeah, fine. You just be careful, alright? Like I told Dean, it's not going to be pretty when he finds out what happened."

"He's going to be mad at Dean, if anything," I offered.

"Well, you're lying to him too right now, sweetheart. We all are," Bobby answered before his mouth formed a straight line and he folded his arms against his chest.

"Bobby," I said with a frown, preparing to speak before I heard Dean shouting from the front door for me to 'get the lead out.'

"Just be careful, okay? Stick close. Do what Dean tells ya," Bobby said, realizing that the moment was gone.

"I know, Bobby. Not my first hunt," I answered. He was concerned about me, about what had happened with Sam, about the demon attacking me in the woods, about the deal I made with Crowley. And despite the fact that Sam had saved me from Nybbas forever, Bobby still didn't trust him.

"Right, I forgot. You're a teenager so you already know it all. Be good Nora," he answered and I hugged him with one arm on my way out of the room.

* * *

In the backseat of the Impala I sat reading one of the books stolen from Bobby's library while Dean and Sam talked softly in the front seat. Even though I was getting hungry and I was sick of sitting in the same position, I couldn't find it in me to complain. Being on the road just felt so right. I was happy to focus on the upcoming hunt instead of demon deals, missing souls and civil wars in heaven. I feigned not paying attention to Dean and Sam, barely glancing up while they spoke, my hearing fine tuning as Sam awkwardly cleared his throat. When he spoke again, it was in a lower tone, barely audible to me in the back.

"So, you two never even tried?" he asked.

"Tried what?" Dean said, though he knew exactly what Sam meant. He glanced back at me in the rearview mirror and I diverted my eyes to the book.

"To go live a life…you know, like you promised you would," Sam replied.

"I remember," Dean murmured.

I remembered too. Before Sam had sacrificed himself to stop the apocalypse Dean and I both promised to move on. We promised that we wouldn't search for a way to get him back. Dean and I agreed to leave the hunting life. I agreed on school. Dean agreed on finding a normal job. We both made promises to Sam that we only half kept.

"Well, why didn't you try? At least for Nora?" Sam said.

"I'm sitting right here and I can hear every word you're saying," I finally spoke up, closing the book and setting it in my lap. Sam glanced back at me and muttered a quick apology before I continued, "And what makes you think we didn't try?"

"Cause look at you two. Dean looks the exactly the same and you, well…"

"I what?" I interrupted when Sam hesitated.

"You just, you look like you've been through a lot in the last year," he admitted with a frown.

"Sammy, in case you haven't noticed, our sweet little sister has grown into a melodramatic teenager. She goes through a lot every day if you ask her opinion."

I scoffed at Dean's attempt to lighten the mood and made every effort to remember that his comment was all in hopes of changing the subject. Truthfully, Sam was right. I had been through a lot and it did change me.

"Yeah, you're probably right though, Sam. I haven't changed," Dean finally answered though it was far from true. Dean and I had been through too much to not change, to not grow from all that had happened. In the back seat, I shook my head and let out an audible exhale. Again, Dean caught my eyes in the rearview mirror, but this time he diverted his eyes first.

"We were with them for a year - Ben and Lisa – Nora was with them a little longer," Dean finally said before turning the dial and turning up the music, an unspoken agreement made between the three of us that for now at least, this conversation was over. It wasn't until Sam and I both flopped down on the motel bed furthest from the door that we spoke again.

"What were you reading earlier?" he asked.

"A Prayer for Owen Meany," I answered, taking the book from my bag and tossing it over to him, "We were reading it for school before I left. Swiped this copy."

As I spoke the words, I saw the gears clicking into place in Sam's brain and immediately regretted them. Our Sam was really back.

"How much school have you missed?" he asked.

I shrugged, "It doesn't matter."

"It doesn't matter?" he asked.

"Sammy," I huffed while an eyebrow inched towards my hairline.

"We're starting homeschooling again."

"I was thinking about just taking the GED test," I mumbled as I took the book back and shoved it in my bag.

This wasn't the first time Sam and I had had this conversation. Sam had gotten the idea sometime after we picked him up from Stanford to look for Dad. That was about six years ago. It wasn't that I disliked learning or spending the extra time with Sam. School just meant less time working on cases. It meant more time being treated like a kid. Less time learning to protect myself. Less time becoming a hunter. It meant Sam being bossier than his demeanor typically allowed for. Dean came through the door and Sam sent a quick exasperated look his way.

"You let her go all these months without school?" he accused.

Dean made a production of rolling his eyes.

"Getting you back was our priority, not playing little red school house. She reads all the time; she's fine."

"Dean, that's not enough. We'll get her signed back up for homeschooling," Sam answered, already digging through his bag for his laptop. I laid back on the bed and groaned. I knew exactly how this would go. Dean wouldn't fight Sam on giving me an education. It wasn't a priority to Dean, but he knew it was right thing. I knew it too, but that didn't stop me from fighting.

"Yeah, well right now we've got a case to solve, you can write your lesson plans later. Let's go."

"Can I come?" I asked as I sat up straight.

"No, after everything you just told us, you can stay right here. No need to add another demon attack to the case here. Salt the doors. Don't let anyone in. We'll be back in a bit," Dean said as he headed towards the bathroom door.

"And read your book. We can talk about the school stuff later."

* * *

I fell asleep with the book open by my side and woke to a start, feeling the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end. I calmed when my eyes found the back of Cas's head and his trench coat. He was peeking through two of the blinds, letting a small sliver of afternoon light spill across the room.

"Cas?" I questioned and pushed myself up.

"Hello," he answered, turning towards me and sitting on the edge of the bed, "I do apologize for not coming to you sooner. Dean sounded…concerned."

Castiel's word choice was putting it lightly. Dean's recent string of 'prayers' to Cas had been closer to death threats.

"It's okay...I'm okay," I answered, closing the book and shifting so I was facing him.

Castiel nodded his approval, "Would you still like to talk about your dreams?"

For a second, I forgot that I had even told Castiel about the dreams. The moment had passed so quickly and that was weeks ago by this time. He had shot me down, told me to talk to Dean about it. I knew that I should have by now, especially with all that was going on, but something was holding me back.

"Depends."

"I only tell Dean what he needs to know in order to keep you safe," Castiel answered.

"I'm hearing voices."

The volume of my voice was barely audible. I watched Castiel's face for a reaction, but his features held a blank expression and he didn't rush to fill the silence between us. A part of me didn't want to talk about anything with him anymore, just because he had been putting me off for so long. At the same time, I couldn't help but crave the rush of relief that always accompanied my confiding in him. I wanted his opinion, his advice. Castiel made problems go away in the end. Anxiety rose in my chest as my words hovered between us and I scrambled to fill the void.

"It's just one voice, really – the one from the dreams," I justified, "I read about PTS-."

"You heard a voice when you were a small child. It was the voice of a woman," Castiel said, bringing the beginnings of incoherent babbles to a halt.

"How do you know?" I shot back, feeling needlessly defensive.

"Because you used to speak back to her. The conversations made your family very uncomfortable. Dean has talked about it."

As Castiel spoke I felt a blush form on my cheek. It was always embarrassing to learn that Cas knew more about me than I had ever shared with him. Dean and Cas were friends. Dean confided in him and some of those things were about me. I ventured that many of the things they talked about pertained to me and Sam.

"I don't remember it like that. I had imaginary friends. Every kid has imaginary friends," I argued.

"You were too young to remember…"

I knew that Castiel was still talking, but I could hear the voice again. She was delivering instructions, though they weren't for me. Her voice easily overpowered Castiel's as it rattled in my brain. _Bring me home, my boys. Mother will take care of you now._

Castiel's hand found my shoulder and I flinched, focusing my attention on his face.

"Sorry, what?"

"I said that you blocked out much of your childhood. It is natural that you do not remember. What's wrong?"

It felt like Cas knew something that I didn't. He was treading lightly, choosing his words too carefully. For the first time in my life, talking with the angel didn't make me feel any better. He hadn't answered my questions directly. He provided vague responses that only made me more curious, more confused.

"Well, thanks, I guess. Do you need to get back?" I asked after an uncomfortable silence settled between us.

"Not immediately. Would you like me to leave?" he asked, a frown coming to his lips, a hurt settling in his eyes. Castiel had become almost human in the time we had known him and I immediately regretted bruising his feelings. Even if something was off, even if there was a dissonance in our interactions, I didn't want to upset him.

"Of course not, Cas. I'm just frustrated with all this demon business and now the stupid voices."

"You put yourself in a dangerous position by making a deal with Crowley," he answered.

"Yeah, I know, but I-" I started.

"It is hard enough to keep you and your brothers safe," Castiel answered as though he hadn't even heard me speak.

"Cas, I know. I feel guilty enough. I don't need this from you too."

"That was not my intention."

"Well what is it then?" I asked.

"I cannot protect you from this. No one can."

"So you carved all that crap into my rib cage for fun? I thought we were supposed to be protected from all that angel and demon stuff!"

"You are protected from demons on Bobby's property. That protection is intact. The Enochian angel warding on your ribs is not. It must have happened when I healed your broken rib after we found... It just need to...This may hurt."

I let out a quiet groan. It hadn't hurt when he had first put it on there to begin with. Why did it have to hurt this time around?

"I will need to find the error and-,"

"Cas, just do it. I don't need a play by play," I interrupted, as I laid back down on the bed, grabbing a fistful of blankets in my hands.

"I will heal your injury first."

He offered an apologetic smile before placing his hand against my still sore abdomen, allowing the warmth to spread from the spot of contact. Without notice, he plunged his hand inside. I imagined that this was less than half the pain that was felt when Castiel checked a soul, but I still couldn't stop myself from screaming out. I couldn't resist fighting against him though Castiel easily held me in place while he completed his work.

"You should be undetectable by angels now," he said as he took his hand back.

I couldn't answer him with my breathing and heartbeat as erratic as they were. I waited until I was calm before answering, "Let's hope we don't have to do that again any time soon."

"You're a Winchester. I would not be so sure of that."

Cas didn't stay long after that, insisting that he needed to get back to heaven. I felt off after his visit and attributed it to the fact that he had shoved his hand inside my rib cage and moved things around. I pulled back the blankets and put myself under the covers before flipping on the TV. There were only a few channels and most were static, but I happily settled on sitcom reruns for a few hours. The rumble of the Impala outside of the motel room door pulled me from my nap and I shut off the episode of Friends. I picked up the discarded book on the bed beside me as Sam came through the door.

"Hey," I said, forcing myself up and finding that I still felt uneasy.

"You feeling okay?" he asked as he loosened the tie around his neck and stepped over to my side, placing his hand on my forehead.

"I'm fine," I answered, pushing his hand away, "What's going on with the case?" I asked.

"Well, it turns out that the missing girl was up in the plane to impress her new boyfriend."

"That's all you got? You've been gone for hours."

"That's what we've got so far," Sam answered before he went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

He came out a few minutes later dressed in a flannel and jeans.

"Can I help research?"

Sam ran a hand through his hair, "Yeah, right after you get yourself signed back up from homeschooling."

"Sam. I'll get my GED. There's more important stuff to deal with right now."

"There will always be something else, Nora. Your education is-,"

"What do you got for me?" Dean said as he strolled in with a bag of food. Dean was more at ease than he had been during all of the time we spent at Bobby's.

"Nothing since Sammy insists on playing principal," I answered as I took a seat at the small table.

"Why are you so against this? You love school," Sam argued.

"I _loved_ school. I don't need to learn calculus. I need to learn how to defend myself. You need to teach me how to do this."

My arms spread wide as my voice neared shouting. Dean gently dropped the food on the table and raised his eyebrows as he looked between Sam and me before backing away from us as Sam continued talking.

"You're fifteen. You don't need to-," he started.

"I'm sixteen, Sam. SIX-teen."

"Fine, sixteen. Look, I don't want to fight, but this is important. You're not just going to give up on-."

"Fine, I won't give up on it, but people are dying here, Sam."

"She's right, Sam. Sign her up for the SAT's after we take care of this. We need her brain power."

"Thank you," I answered before sitting back down and pulling Sam's laptop over, "What are we researching?"

"Something that can fly," Dean answered with a mouth full of french fries.

"Anything else?" I asked, "Like anything at all?"

"Just the vics," Dean offered.

"Great… That's a lot to work with."

It wasn't long before Sam took the laptop back and I slouched back in the chair, pulling over the room temperature french fries and eating a few.

"Cas stopped by," I said interrupting the quiet that had settled over us aside from the rustle of Dean's newspaper and the sound of Sam clicking on the keyboard.

"Well at least he has time for one of us," Dean grunted.

"He said everything is intact…and he also thinks I should learn to protect myself."

"Yeah? Did he use those words exactly?" Dean chuckled, "Did Cas want us to sign you up for kick boxing."

"No, not exactly. Close enough. I want to be better at this."

"You're fine at this. You're learning. You're our head researcher. What do you got Sammy?" Dean answered as he stood up and went to Sam's side. _Head researcher_.

"Both of those other girls baked cookies for the lord," Sam said.

Dean and I exchanged looks, "What is that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"They were church girls."

"But I thought Penny wasn't religious," I said.

"You know what, I've got a theory. Here's Penny's diary..." Dean said, pulling the small book from his coat pocket.

"Did you steal that from her room?" Sam asked.

"I love that you even ask me that," Dean couldn't hide the smile, the relief that stemmed from Sam asking questions like that. The tone he used was so surprised that Dean would do something so morally questionable. I smiled too.

"Why wouldn't I?" Sam asked, sounding slightly offended.

Dean's hesitation didn't fulfill Sam's curiosity, so I intervened, "And moments like this are exactly why I never kept a diary."

"Luke Miller is so cute. Today Ms. Perrin made us partners for the bird project. Maybe we will fall in love. He has great Pokémon cards. He wants to trade with me a-"

"Shut up, Dean!" I said while tossing a fry at him.

"Anyway..." Dean smirked at me before turning back to look at Sam, "What if this is about purity, not religion? ' _I'm going to give Stan my most precious gift.'"_ Dean read from the diary like an actor from the stage.

"Please stop reading," I said.

"Yeah, that sounded really creepy coming from your mouth," Sam chuckled.

Dean shrugged, taking the container of fries from my hand as he sat with us.

"Who would want a bunch of virgins?" Sam asked.

"You got me. I prefer ladies with experience."

I coughed up the food in my mouth, "You are so gross."

"So, it flies and it likes female virgins…" Sam mused.

"We should go to the library – check out any local…" I said as I took the french fries back.

"Whoa…I don't think _we_ should be going anywhere," Sam said stopping me.

"Unless there's something else you need to tell-?" Dean said.

"God, no. Please stop talking," I answered.


	27. Chapter 27

"You say one more thing about Harry Potter, I'm going to blow," Dean snapped as I read a passage about Hungarian Horntails aloud to him and Sam. Sam snickered and the corners of his mouth turned up before he hid it by taking a sip of his coffee.

"Well, it's not like the lore is telling us anything. At least this is interesting."

A single eyebrow crept towards Dean's hairline.

"Bobby started it. He's the one who brought up Hogwart's."

"Alright, alright enough," Dean answered, rolling his eyes as he pulled his ringing phone from his pocket, "Bobby, please tell me you've got something. Kid here is reading me excerpts from Harry Potter thanks to you."

At Bobby's suggestion, Dean prepared to head off to see a Dr. Visyak, professor of medieval studies. Bobby didn't know much about dragons, but an hour after his sarcastic Hogwarts comment, remembered a professor who did. I was eager to get out of the motel room, eager to do more than sit behind a laptop or read up on the lore. Before I could even move from my seat, Dean made it clear that he felt it was safer for me to stay back. We didn't know this Dr. Visyak, didn't know if we could trust her.

"So you're saying it's safer for me to stay here where virgins are getting stolen and being used for god knows what?" I shot back when he denied me without an instant of hesitation on his part.

"I'm saying I feel more comfortable knowing that you're holed up in this room with Sammy. I wouldn't have let you come along to begin with if I knew what this case was gonna be like. If you want to keep arguing, next time you can just stay at Bobby's. Up to you."

That statement shut me up, though I glared at the back of Dean's head as he prepared to go. This was my brother's version of being patient, though something was off. He was on edge. Maybe it was being back on the road with Sam, maybe it was being on the road with me. Either way, Dean seemed off.

"And don't just sit there and pout until I get back. I'm sure Sammy could use some help with the research, unless you'd prefer I go get the Latin book out of the trunk?"

"Just shut up, Dean," I grumbled under my breath as he threatened punishment. Part of me knew he was joking, but I wasn't in the mood.

"You're being a brat, you know that?" he said as he stopped in front of me to shrug on his jacket.

"Well, you're being a jerk, so…" I answered, avoiding his eyes.

"Kiddo, you're lucky I've got to get on the road."

"Yeah, lucky me," I answered.

"Try to rein in your sister's attitude while I'm out, huh Sam?"

"I'll try," Sam answered as he looked to me with confused eyes.

It was less than 10 minutes after Dean left before Sam said he had something to go check on but that he was going to come back with some lunch.

"Can I come with? I'll wait in the car," Sam's face briefly held a smile before it turned to hesitation.

"Nor, you heard what Dean-"

"Fine, fine…whatever. I just want to spend some time with you. I haven't been out of this room in days," I answered before heading to the bathroom and shutting the door behind me. Sam waited a few minutes before knocking, but I stayed quiet while perched on the edge of the tub.

"Nora, you know that's not what this is about," he said into the silence, "You can help out on a safer hunt. We'll spend time together at Bobby's."

Sam tripped a bit when I pulled open the bathroom door. I raised an eyebrow at him while my arms found themselves crossed over my chest.

"There will never be a 'safer hunt' according to your criteria. Teach me how to hunt. Dad would be so ashamed of you two-," I ranted.

"If Dad had his way you would have been salt and burning by age three, but he also wanted us to protect you. His dying wish was for us to protect you."

"Wouldn't it be easier if I could just protect myself?" I asked as I pushed through the emotion that was welling in my chest at the mention of our father's death, the mention of his wish for my safety.

Sam sighed, pushing his hand through his hair, "Probably," he admitted, "You're probably right."

I squinted my eyes at him as he spoke the words, searching for the catch.

"I'll train with you. You want to learn and I could probably brush up a little myself," he admitted.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. But you have to promise me you'll finish school."

"That's it?"

"And that you'll lose the attitude with Dean."

I hesitated and Sam's lips formed a slight frown, "What's bothering you?"

"Nothing. Dean and I just pick at each other," I answered.

"You can tell me."

"Sam, it's nothing. I'm just sick of Dean treating me like a little kid."

"And you're sure that's all? You'd tell me if there was something."

I nodded, though I was sure it wasn't all. There was a lot that I hadn't told Sam or Dean or Bobby. Some of it, I hid from Sam on request from Dean. Some of it I hid for my own gain. Some of it I hid from all of them because I hadn't been able to sort through it myself. I knew I was being short with Dean, I felt the attitude slipping in when I didn't mean for it to be there, but that didn't seem to stop it from happening.

* * *

As I rinsed the shampoo from my hair a few hours later, I heard Sam's muffled voice and his shuffling around the room. He had been gone gathering more evidence and picking up lunch. Sam stood facing me when I came through the bathroom door furiously drying my hair with the thin raggedy motel towel. His eyebrows were furrowed with tension and his mouth formed a straight line across his face as he looked down to me.

"What's wrong? Is Dean okay?" I asked as I stopped drying, focusing only on him as I dropped the towel to the floor.

"Dean's okay," he mumbled as he looked away, his features becoming smaller, expressionless.

"Sam, what's wrong then? Another disappearance?" I knew my brother tended to let the cases get personal. He often brought it "home" with him. We all did, though Dean typically dealt with it by drinking until it didn't hurt anymore.

"Cas stopped by," he offered as he pushed his hair back with both hands.

"Is he okay? Sam, just tell me what the hell is going on."

"He told me everything, Nora," he answered, "He was the only one out of all of you who would tell me anything that happened this last year."

"Fuck," I whispered, mostly to myself, though it didn't go unnoticed by Sam.

I tried to force the lump down that had quickly built up in my throat. My eyes left Sam's as my facial muscles drooped and I let my wet hair fall in my face. I wanted to explain, but I knew there was nothing that would make lying to him okay. I lied about what happened to him. I lied about what happened to me. And now he knew. Sam stepped forward and pushed the hair from my face before placing his hands on both of my arms.

"I am so sorry, sorry for-," he started.

"No Sam, that wasn't you. I know it wasn't," I insisted, though I couldn't ignore the fact that I was relieved that Sam knew what he had done. I didn't have to carry it alone anymore.

"It was me. I did those horrible things. Even if I don't remember it. I did those things to you. Why didn't you tell me? Why are you even okay with this? How can you even stand to be near me?"

"You're my brother. And _it wasn't you_. It's okay."

"No, it's not, but I'm going to fix it."

I nodded because I knew I wasn't going to win this fight. No matter how many times I told him he was wrong, that he wasn't responsible – I knew he would continue to fight me. Sam would only make himself feel worse and me too, so I let it go.

"Don't tell Dean I know, okay?"

Again I nodded and Sam planted a kiss on my hairline before walking back to the table and sitting at the laptop. Dean wasn't due back for at least a few hours. Sam and I settled into an unspoken agreement not to talk about it anymore. Though I sat across the table from him, I felt miles away, distracted. The quiet of the room acted as a wall, pushing us into our own thoughts, our own regrets. I cursed Castiel for being so candid with Sam, hoping the angel could hear me.

* * *

When Dean finally arrived back from his detour to San Francisco, the boys immediately started discussing their plan while I turned over the small sword forged with dragon's blood.

"Dean, you really think this is going to work?" Sam questioned with doubt lacing his face.

"It's what we got, all right? It's going to have to work."

As they talked I headed to the bathroom to change for the night. I already knew the plan, Sam and I had developed it while we waited for Dean to come home. I also knew that there was no room in that plan for me.

"Where are we on the caves?" Dean asked.

"Nowhere. Nora and I came to the conclusion that it has to be the sewers. She's good with this stuff, Dean. Here, check this out."

I felt the corners of my mouth pull up into a smile at hearing Sam give me some credit. Dean and Sam were poised over the map when I came back and Dean looked up long enough to give me a smile and a, "good job."

"So, two of the disappearances happened within a mile of here. So I think we start there and work our way around," Sam offered.

"When are you going?"

"Now?" Dean asked Sam, who nodded, "You're not going to fight to go with?"

"Why bother?" I answered, "Just be careful."

Dean's hand rubbed at his chin as he looked at me with a furrowed brow before nodding his head and giving me a self-righteous smile.

* * *

 _Nora elected on an early night after the boys left, sipping half a beer stolen from Dean's stash before falling asleep on the bed while watching the local news. He eyes had been closed for less than ten minutes when she was startled awake by a nauseous feeling in my stomach that something was wrong. She grabbed her phone from the table and called Dean and Sam's phones – both went straight to voicemail._

 _Help them. Help your brothers. The words rolled around in her head like a chanting murmur, propelling her towards the shoes, propelling her towards the front door and to the sewer entrance mapped out on the papers littering the small table. She found the entrance quickly and without giving a thought to where she needed to turn. Nora knew where to go, feeling the connection growing stronger as she moved towards them._

 _She didn't flinch as she stepped into the cold water. It creeped up her legging clad calves, seeping through the fabric of both the leggings and the sneakers. She trudged towards the high pitched screams and cries of the missing girls. She moved faster when she could hear the telltale grunts and clashes of combat._

 _Through the entry way to an open space, she caught sight Dean on the ground. He was reaching through the grates on the floor, his fingers searching for the sword's handle, though the girth of his upper arm prevented him from reaching far enough. Out of the corner of her eye, Nora could see Sam was fighting with another dragon, though they seemed equally matched. Nora paid them no attention. The dragon nearest to her was closing in on Dean, his glowing orange hand extending towards Dean's skin. No one had seen her yet. Not even the girls trapped below at taken their eyes from the action closest to them to notice the teenage girl had stepped into the room._

 _Save him._

 _The voice snapped her out of her pause and Nora moved forward to the action. She slipped between them, her eyes locked with the dragon's before her. Desino. She spoke the Latin in her head, though he heard the word as well. Dean had attempted to get her attention after the initial shock of her presence wore off, but Nora's attention was trained on the form in front of her. Confusion flashed in his face before it turned to anger._

 _"Get out of my way or you'll join them, virgin," he motioned to the screaming girls, a smile wide on his face at the thought of bringing another potential sacrifice to his mother._

 _Nora's only reaction to the threat was to reach down through the grate to grab the sword, her skinny arm able to move farther through the space than Dean's. She held the sword up towards the dragon and he let out a chuckle._

 _He directed his orange hand towards Nora, reaching for the hand holding the sword. Dean's hand wrapped around Nora's waist as he pulled her back._

 _"Let me go," she growled as she turned to him with a glare._

 _Her moment of distraction gave the dragon enough time to grab for her wrist in an attempt to force her to drop the sword. She heard the sizzle of his skin on her hand, but did not feel the pain. Nora's eyes locked on his as she stepped closer to him and spoke aloud,_

 _"Ego te, ut ad finem. Statim sine._ _Haec sunt ejus voluntas"_

 _As she spoke the words, he removed his hand and stepped back with wide eyes. Nora briefly examined the blistered skin on her wrist, noting that the hand print was now searing with pain. Though she paid the dragon no mind as she took stock of her injury, his eyes never left her form. She looked up to him again, locking eyes with the dragon._

 _"Vade," she whispered._

 _Dean wrapped his arm around Nora's waist again and pulled her back as Sam pulled the sword from her hand._

 _"No, don't!" she screamed as Sam pushed the blade through the dragon's chest. He was dead and she hadn't been able to stop it. Nora tried to pull away from Dean, but his grip was too strong._

 _"Calm down!" Dean yelled at his sister as he shook her. He wanted her to look at him. He wanted her to stop crying and screaming. He wanted her to explain what the hell just happened, but Nora suddenly went very quiet. She stopped fighting, she stopped yelling. Nora closed her eyes. She rested her head against his chest and let out steady, soft breaths, the same kind as if she had been asleep in his arms for hours._

* * *

In my sleep, I pulled my hands up to rest under my cheek and felt a soreness as I put pressure on the right hand. It startled me into consciousness and I poked at the gauze on my wrist. I recognized Bobby's guest room though I didn't remember us driving over the state lines to get there. I remembered falling asleep in the motel room while Dean and Sam went to find the dragons. I remembered sipping on a beer while watching the news.

At the bottom of the stairs I saw that the kitchen and living room were empty. I padded forward, towards the box of muffins on the table, but found it empty. I froze when I heard the chatter of Bobby, Dean and Sam through the small opening in Bobby's office door and left the box on the table. I stepped into the room during a lull in their conversation. Bobby spotted me first and both of the boys soon followed his sight line to me.

"You're awake," Sam finally said when the silence became uncomfortable.

I nodded, "What happened?" I asked as I held up the wrist.

"You don't remember?" Dean asked.

I shook my head, feeling a sudden tightness in my chest at his words and the dread on their faces. Tears pricked at my eyes, but neither my brothers nor Bobby made a move to offer comfort. They were rooted in their spots, watching my reaction.

"What did I do?" I asked, my voice barely audible in the silent room.

I looked to my brothers and Bobby in turn, hoping one of them would tell me what was going on, hoping they would provide some relief from the unease of not knowing. Bobby glanced to the window as my gaze fell on him. Dean had closed his eyes and placed his head down into his hands as he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. Sam looked at me with pity, but offered no words. The understanding in his eyes forced the tears to spill over. I did something bad. I did something evil and I didn't remember it. Sam knew what that was like. He finally stood and stepped forward, pulling me into his chest as I crumbled and my knees buckled beneath me. What I had known deep down for all my life had been proven true. I was finally becoming what my family had always been afraid of. I was dangerous.


	28. Chapter 28

**Hey...it's been awhile. Mostly because I wrote myself into a ditch that I haven't had the motivation to get myself out of. That said, here's the next (fairly short) chapter in Nora Winchester's saga. There are more chapters written out, but I'm not particularly happy with them, which is why I haven't been posting them, but hopefully we can breeze through this rough patch and move on to better chapters. Thanks for bearing with me through this.**

* * *

Days passed by slowly at the Singer residence, now more than ever. By the end of the first week, Bobby and I already had our routine down. It had been a little over a few weeks now that Sam and Dean had been out on the road. I hadn't put up anything resembling a fight when they gently announced their decision to leave me behind. I knew just as much as they did that it was safest option for all of us. I couldn't remember what had happened that night in the sewers. Not even after they told me how I had tried to save the dragons they were fighting, how I had spoken to them in fluent Latin, how I had looked at my brothers like I didn't even know them.

The last thing I remembered that night was falling asleep in the motel room, but I had to believe that Sam and Dean told were telling me the truth. The way they all looked at me confirmed it. The pitiful stares from Sam, the concerned glances from Dean. There was what seemed to be a permanent crease between Dean's eyebrows. And all because it happened and we didn't have a single clue as to why, I was considered a major risk. Had I been under someone else's control? Was it a witch? Demon? Had I been a pre-programmed, evil robot from birth? None of it felt too far out of the question.

Bobby had been looking into it, calling friends to ask casual, non-committal questions and borrowing books from obscure libraries, but he didn't have much to show for it yet. Cas had checked me over, soul-check and all, but by the time he made it to us, everything seemed to be completely fine. No trace of angel. No trace of demon. No trace of supernatural intervention or possession whatsoever. And for the time being, things were fine. Normal. Boring, even. I split my time between Sam's assigned school work and researching possessions, mind control and every possible supernatural association that may explain my actions that night. I hadn't had a vision in weeks, no sign of the mysterious woman. I didn't hear the voices, even though a part of me wanted to hear them again, things had been quiet. It was just me and Bobby and the occasional visit from Castiel. For the first time in a while, it wasn't really a lie when I said I was fine. I was focused on school work and helping Bobby around the house. Bobby had even been helping me learn to drive one of his old junkers. Still, I was bothered by not knowing what had happened, bothered by the fact that I was a liability to my family, bothered that it was weeks later and we still didn't have any answers.

Bobby made an effort to make it seem like this was a normal stay. We cooked, we went hiking in the woods, we read, we worked on cars. He even worked on teaching me to drive, but there was an odd feeling in air that neither of us could quite shake. The odd feeling crept into our moments of silence, making them awkward where they had once been comfortable. I kept looking up to see Bobby studying me over the top of his book, his glasses pulled down to the tip of his nose. I couldn't blame him. I was a piece of lore to be sorted out these days. A potentially dangerous problem to be solved. And while I couldn't blame him, I couldn't handle the looks either, so instead of nestling myself in the window seat of Bobby's office, I took up residence at his kitchen table or the porch swing for most of the day.

"Bobby, what do you know about calculus?" I stepped through the door and into his office absently, textbook still in hand. Bobby looked at me briefly over his glasses as he looked up from his paperwork and we both let out a long withheld laugh, easing the tension from the long hours of near silence.

"Well, I guess I'll just _have_ to call Sammy then."

"Yeah, I guess you'll just _have_ to call him." Bobby's tone was playful. Though we usually kept calls to a minimum while the boys were busy working, he hadn't tried to sway me once. With a subtle roll of my eyes, I headed back to my spot at the kitchen table.

* * *

"Agent Lannister."

I coughed on my water and let out a little laugh at Sam's choice of alias. For a fleeting moment I considered asking which Game of Thrones house lent itself to be Dean's alias, but from the sound of Sam's tone, I could tell he wasn't up for that kind of conversation.

"You busy, Tyrion?"

"Uh…no, Nor, yeah, no, go ahead...Tyrion...clever."

"Uh...How's the case? Everything okay?"

"Case is fine. What do you need?"

Sam had been what I could only describe as distracted during the last few days, avoiding conversations that delved into his own feelings. It wasn't uncommon for Dean to skip key aspects of a hunt, but he had been downright vague for the last week or so. Dean had barely filled me in on the hunt in Rhode Island, meaning that things obviously hadn't gone well or at least, not according to plan. Dean insisted they were both okay, going as far as to snap at me for pressing the issue. I could hear it in their voices during the couple of minutes worth of phone calls they had clocked in over the last few days.

"Sammy, are you okay? Really okay? You sound-" I repeated.

"Nora- I'm fine." Frustration crept into his voice. "What do you need? Did you figure-"

"Just calculus help." I interrupted, in a tone that came out as more of a frustrated mumble than actually words. I didn't want to disappoint Sam with another negative response. Bobby and I weren't any closer to figuring things out than we had been when Sam and Dean left for the East coast weeks ago.

"Oh, alright."

I barely got two syllables of the word "integrals" out before Sam started in on his explanation, more alert and engaged than he had been in days. He was a full couple of sentences in before I stopped trying to understand what he was saying and just listened to him stammering on, glad to hear the interest in his voice.

"Whoa, whoa down boy." Dean spoke the words, stopping Sam in the middle of his enthusiastic math lesson, "Hey kid, you actually catch any of that?" Dean had taken the phone and for the first time in days, I could tell by the intonation in his voice that he was smiling. Dean was barely holding in a chuckle.

"Not much," I answered honestly, a smile pulling at the corners of my lips.

"Didn't think so. Speak English, Sammy. She's in high school, not getting her PhD in nerd."

"Shut up, Dean."

"Guys, just forget it. It's too hard over the phone. When are you guys coming home?" I asked.

"Soon as we're done with this hunt, kiddo. Couple of days at most," Dean answered. "Bobby treating you alright?"

"Bobby treats me like royalty. He takes me out driving everyday..."

"Yeah, well don't think you're going to be driving my baby anytime soon, princess."

"I'm probably just as good as you and Sammy. Bobby taught all three of us how to drive," I answered, "Maybe even better. Bobby's got more experience as a teacher now."

"Yeah, he's an old man now. His eyesight isn't so good," Dean chuckled.

"You want me to tell him you said that? Bob-"

"Eleanora Ca-" I felt a "full name" lecture coming on and decided to nip it in the bud.

"Fine, fine. My lips are sealed."

"Be good, kiddo. We'll be home soon. I'm putting Sammy back on."

"All kidding aside, are you okay? Anything new?" Sam asked as he pulled the phone back from Dean's grasp.

I nodded before realizing they weren't here to see it. "I'm fine, Sam. Just like you."

Sam's answer didn't come quickly. I could almost picture him putting a hand through his hair, pushing it back from his face as he exhaled. If he got to act like nothing was wrong, so did I.

"We're heading your way after this hunt, kiddo. Just hang in there a couple more days."

* * *

Hours later, I still sat at Bobby's kitchen table, the light from above the sink barely illuminating the room enough to read the pages of lore in front of me. Lisa's name flashed across my phone screen beside the book and I had to glance at it twice before it sunk in. _Lisa?_ I hadn't thought about the Braeden's in months. Dean and I both had been too busy to dwell on all that we had left behind in Indiana.

"Lisa?" I whispered as I answered the call and immediately stepped out onto the back porch, closing the screen door slowly to avoid its usual squeak.

"Nor, its Ben."

I felt something sink in my stomach at hearing his tone. Ben's voice was quiet, but rushed as he spoke into the phone, his voice a bit deeper than I remembered.

"Ben? What's wrong?"

"It's my mom," he answered.

"What happened, Ben?" His silence made my heart beat hard in my chest. "Ben, you gotta give me more here."

"I don't know. She won't talk to me. You have to come here. You have to come home."

"Ben, calm-" I started, feeling my heart break at his tone.

"Nor, she locked herself in her room. She hasn't come out in days. She won't talk to me. I need your help. You're the only person I could call." Ben seemed on the verge of tears, though his sentences were clear and concise.

"Alright, Ben, calm down. I'll call Dean and-"

"No, Dean won't listen. He keeps ignoring my calls. I've been calling him for days and haven't gotten through."

"Alright, alright, don't worry. I'm coming."

I hung up the phone and pushed my hands through my hair as I looked out to the junker minivan that Bobby had been using to teach me to drive. I didn't have it in me to sneak out without telling Bobby. I honestly didn't trust myself out there alone driving across the country. Who knew if I would lose control again? I didn't want to be alone if it did happen.

"Coming where?" Bobby stepped out onto the porch. By the time I pulled my eyes away from the driveway to meet his, he had already followed my gaze to the rusted minivan.

"Indiana? Ben and Lisa are in trouble."

Bobby raised an eyebrow, his arms folding across his chest as he leaned against the door frame.

"Before you say no - Dean's not answering Ben's calls. He says that Lisa has been locked in her room for days. He's scared, Bobby. Ben's still just a kid."

"Go get packed. We'll pay them a visit."

"Thank you, Bobby," I said as I planted a quick peck on his scruffy cheek, feeling the light scratch of his beard.

"You're driving, princess," he called after me as I ran up the stairs to pack a bag.


	29. Chapter 29

My hand felt heavy as it hung at my side. I stood before the red door Ben and I had painted together on our second day in the new house, willing myself to be brave. In theory this had been the easiest thing I'd faced in awhile, but I couldn't bring myself to find out what laid beyond the door just yet. I could hear Bobby's car idling from the street while he waited for a sign from me that he should head off. His plan being to drive into town and find the two of us a room for the night. Forcing myself to take a deep breath, I lifted my hand to knock. Ben appeared in the opened the door before I could knock a second time. Ben had been a little boy when we left, hadn't he? It had only been months since the last time we saw each other, but already he looked slimmer and taller, and less like a child in my eyes.

"I'm so glad to see you," Ben said, his voice exasperated as he spoke the words and pulled me into his arms.

"Hey, where's Li-?" I said, my voice muffled as he crushed me to his chest.

"Ben, who is it?" I heard Lisa's voice before she stepped into the doorway behind Ben, starring wide-eyed at the two of us.

"Nora? What are you doing here? Is De-? Is everything okay?" she asked, her face fluctuating between happiness, surprise and concern.

Ben stepped towards me, putting a bit of space between Lisa and himself.

"Surprise visit, right Nor?" Ben said, putting his arm around my shoulder, making me feel short in a way he had never been able to do before.

I chuckled before answering, needing a moment to get things straight. "Yeah, that's right. Just stopped by to visit. Bobby and I were driving through. He's going to get a room in town for the night. Sorry I didn't call first." I waved back at Bobby, who tipped his hat and drove away.

"Nonsense Nora. You and Bobby will stay with us. Your brother knows you're here?" she said.

"Yeah, yeah of course." I waved her off and offered a smile. "But Bobby's more of a loner. He likes his space. He'd be more comfortable at a hotel," I answered.

"Well, it really is great to see you. You're always more than welcome, Nora. It's your home."

Lisa pulled me in for a hug before leading through the door. As she let me go and closed the door, I noticed the scents of their home and felt tears pool in my eyes. I couldn't put my finger on the scents except for the lavender. At one point, the scents had been so familiar that I didn't notice it, but I had been gone for so long that now I couldn't help but realize this wasn't home anymore.

"Dinner's almost ready. I wish I had known you were coming. I'm actually on my way out for the evening, but I'm sure you and Ben will be happy enough to catch up without me. Will you be with us for a couple of days?"

"Not sure of Bobby's plans," I mumbled, my eyes immediately drawn to the changes- a new throw blanket on the couch, empty spaces on the coat rack, Lisa's new heels waiting by the door.

Lisa left us on her way to the kitchen and I turned to glare at Ben. "Yeah, she looks real depressed." I ground the words out while he dragged me by the arm up the stairs towards his bedroom. Sitting on Ben's bed, I looked to him expectantly as my arms found their way tight across my chest.

"Mom's been dating." Ben paced back and forth in front of me. One arm was crossed over his chest while the other rubbed his forehead.

"Ben, you told me something was wrong. I came here because I thought you needed me. I thought she was suicidal."

"She's dating, Nora." Ben stopped walking and stared at me waiting for me to jump in and agree. He had the look in his eye we both used to share when conspiring to break some kind of rule.

"She's allowed to do that, Ben."

"But if she seriously dates someone, you and Dean won't be able to come home."

"Ben…"

"That's why I needed you and Dean to come. So she can remember how things were. So she'd know she made a mistake."

"Wait, wait. Dean's coming here? I thought you couldn't get a hold of him."

"He called a little while ago... said he was less than a few hours out."

* * *

Walking around town, I noticed nothing had changed. The same shops, the same chipped paint on the benches, the same people waiting at the bus stop. While I was tempted to squeeze in as much time with Lisa as I could, I also knew that Ben and I didn't want to be around when Dean got there and figured out what Ben had done.

"Hey! Ben!"

I didn't recognize the boy whose voice was calling his name and didn't bother to look up as the car slowed beside us so the boy could talk to Ben from the passenger side. I was focused on watching one of the old neighborhood kids I had babysat a few times on the swing set in the park until I heard a squeal from the car behind me on the road.

"NORA!" Mackenzie was like a blur and then she was like a bear crushing the life from me with her arms around me as she lifted me off the ground for a second. The boy in the passenger seat was Evan, but not the Evan I remembered. His voice was deeper. His features were different. He, like Ben, was taller and thinner. He looked so much like his brother, Jack. I felt my heart beating hard in my chest as Mackenzie continued to hug me. My eyes searched the car for him, but it was just Mac and Evan there and I was struck by a mix of relief and disappointment.

"What are you doing here?" she asked when she finally let me go, though her hands stayed firmly on my shoulders.

"Visiting," I answered with a quick smile, "How are things?"

"You up and disappear, change your phone without a word and you ask _how are things_? C'mon!" Mackenzie slapped me on the arm.

I shrugged, willing myself not to rub the sore spot on my arm. "Sorry. Life is-"

"Crazy, yeah, yeah I know. Tell me about it on the way back to the house. Hit the back, Ev," Mac said as she turned back toward the driver's seat.

* * *

"So, what really happened between you and…?" Mackenzie stood across the kitchen island from me. The moment was so familiar. We had spent so many afternoons in the same manner- talking, snacking, laughing, sipping from a bottle of wine while we waited for Jack to get home for a board game or an adventure.

"I'm sure his version was close enough to the truth." I let my feet dangle from the counter off the edge of the stool while I sipped on my second glass of whatever concoction Mackenzie had mixed up.

"What version?" she answered, "When it comes to you, Jack _doesn't want to talk about it_." Mackenzie mimicked her twin as she spoke the words, rolling her eyes as she pushed herself up on the counter facing towards me.

"It's just hard being on the road. Makes relationships impossible. It's not fair to you guys…It wasn't fair to Jack."

"I think that's our decision to make." She pouted. "We've missed you, y'know?"

"Well, I'm sorry if that counts for anything." Mackenzie didn't answer me, but took a few long sips from her glass.

"So, where is he?" I asked, attempting to sound casual.

"Tutoring or working. He's basically never home since you left."

Mackenzie quickly turned the conversation to college applications and graduation, both of which were approaching quickly for her. She was deciding between 12 schools spread out across the country. Big and Small. Private and Public.

"Which one do you want?"

"Like I know . That's why I applied to so many. I'll just flip a coin." Mackenzie smiled at herself. She was pleased by the fact that it didn't matter to her where she went to school. She was the type of person to be happy wherever.

I heard the front door open and felt my stomach drop as I raised an eyebrow at Mackenzie. I briefly considered running and hiding, but I stayed frozen in my seat watching Mac who was watching her brother walk into the room. I didn't turn around.

"This girl does not need a tutor. She's better at math than-," he stopped, not bothering to finish the sentence. A smile grew wide on Mackenzie's face as she registered what must have been the look on Jack's face when he noticed me.

"Look at who came to visit, Jack," Mackenzie said with a smile after we both stayed silent for too long.

"Get out," Jack said quietly. Bile rose in my throat as he spoke the quiet words, monotone taking over, anger taking over.

"I'll wait for Ben outside." I mumbled, avoiding his eyes as I reached down to grab my bag from the floor, but felt his hand on my arm before I could step down from the stool.

"No, not you, Eleanora," he said softly. "You have somewhere to be?"

I shook my head lightly, unwilling to meet his eyes.

"Good. So we can talk then. Mack, get out." He took his eyes off me only long enough to glare at Mackenzie.

"Fine, fine. I can tell when I'm not wanted." She raised her hands in surrender and walked towards the exit, winking at us as she left. Jack waited to speak until he heard footsteps on the stairs, though they stopped too soon and he motioned towards the French doors leading to their back deck. I followed, my mind still reeling from the touch of his finger tips on my arm, feeling the same flutters in my stomach that I had felt in the early days of our relationship. Jack studied me as I pulled my arms up to wrap them around my chest, not having even a moment of hesitation before slipping out of his zip up hoodie and passing it to me.

"I'm fine." I pushed the sweatshirt back towards him.

He pushed it back towards me. "I know you, Zeena."

I let out a soft laugh, unable to keep the smile from my face as I pulled on the sweatshirt. I forced myself to breathe through my mouth though I wanted to pull the fabric up to my face and breathe in his cologne.

"How have you been?" he asked, taking a seat on the bench that lined the edge of their deck.

I shrugged as I sat at the other end, forcing myself to leave a decent distance. "Okay. You?"

He studied me before answering, letting out a deep breath. I guessed it was a sign of frustration, maybe annoyance. "Uh, yeah, okay. I've been busy, I guess. Tutoring, work, college applications."

"That's good." I had already shoved my hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt, my fists balled up within the soft fleece.

"So how have you really been?" Jack fixed his eyes on me to the point that I had to look away.

"Okay," I mumbled, only expanding because he continued to stare at me in silence, patiently waiting for elaboration. "Traveling with my brothers and school. That's about it."

That look. I felt my heart rate quicken because of the way Jack was looking at me, staring at me like I was a puzzle he needed to solve.

"What's happened to you, Nora?"

"We've been on the road a lot. I'm just tired."

Tired was certainly one way to describe it. The life of a hunter wasn't for the weak at heart. Being back in the only place aside from Bobby's and the back seat of the Impala that I had ever really considered my home made me weary. This place and these people, the memories that resurfaced made the weight of the last few months feel that much heavier to me.

"That's not it. You're different. You look different. You're acting different."

His words hung in the air, met only by silence. I knew it wasn't a compliment. I knew that despite Dean's best efforts to feed me junk food and desserts at each and every opportunity, I had yet to put back on the majority of the weight I had lost when I was with Crowley. I still lacked a healthy glow, my hair was still dull and like most days, I had it pulled back into a messy bun. I wasn't the version of me Jack was used to. I had been lighter, happier when he knew me. Finally, he turned his eyes away, giving me a moment to collect myself.

"I've just been through a lot, that's all."

"You're scared. You can tell me. Whatever it is."

"I can't-" I started.

"That was always the problem here, wasn't it? There was always something you could never tell me. There was always something you were holding back."

"Jack."

"You can tell me anything. You said so yourself once."

"But I can't tell you this. It's dangerous and I don't want you hurt and my brothers-"

"Always your brothers. What did they do this time?"

"They didn't do anything!" He looked shocked at my outburst and went silent.

I felt a warm tear hit my cheek before I realized I was crying. I wanted to hold them back, but I couldn't help it. Jack was right, I had said that I could tell him anything. I had always felt comfortable enough with him to do it. I couldn't hide my tears. As I pulled my knees into my chest, he slid around the table so he was sitting next to me on the bench. Within seconds, he had reconfigured my position so that I was in his arms, crying against his shirt, his lips planted on my hairline while his thumb grazed my cheek.

"It's okay. You don't have to talk about it. You're okay."

"I was attacked," I whispered, feeling the words fighting me on their way out. Telling Jack was like ripping open a healed wound.

"What?" he said, seeming both confused and concerned at the same time.

"My brothers saved me."

I knew Jack wanted to know more, but he didn't ask. I had decided that attacked was close enough to the truth and it certainly hurt all the same. How could I say more than that? Jack didn't know monsters existed. He didn't know that his ex-girlfriend was up close and personal with monsters on the weekends. He didn't know it was possible for a person to be taken prisoner by the King of Hell and tortured for months. He didn't know it was possible to be possessed by something.

After I calmed, my hand found Jack's, entwining our fingers. I pulled away enough so that I could look in his eyes and he pushed a piece of hair behind my ear. We locked eyes for less than a second before holding hands didn't feel like enough anymore. Within seconds, my lips found his, the same passion from before, but somehow fresh and new. Jack's hands felt like electricity on my skin as he explored underneath the sweatshirt, his fingertips grazing my back and moving down to rest on my thighs as my hands grasped his neck. It was five minutes to seven when I felt the phone buzzing in my pocket.

"Just like old times," Jack commented as he pulled away from the kiss when I fished the phone out of my pocket.

Dean's voice sounded through the speaker before I even spoke a word. "Where the hell are you?"

"Down the street."

"Get your butt back hom...back here."

"I-,"

"Now, Eleanora!"

"Oh..oh-kay, I'm on my-," I stuttered at the sound of my full name.

"And you bring Ben with you."

Dean hung up without receiving a response and I cringed. I had been anticipating anger, but he had always had a soft spot for Ben.

"Your brother?" Jack asked.

"How could you tell?" I asked with a smirk, "He wants me home, like five minutes ago."

I laid my head on Jack's shoulder, feeling like I wanted nothing more than to just stay there. This was easy. This was familiar. Jack felt like home.

"I should get you back, okay?" he said quietly as he pushed a piece of hair behind my ear and placed a gentle kiss to my cheek. I nodded slowly, staring off into nothingness. Jack's thumb caressed my cheek, then my lip and he stared back at me. He let out a concerned sigh, "What's wrong?"

"Other than the fact that my brother's going to kill me?" I said, bringing my eyes to him.

"Is that really it?" he asked.

I sighed, looking away again. "I'm just confused. That's all."

"Can I see you tomorrow?" he asked.

I shrugged and he grasped my face, turning me towards him. "I don't want you to just cut me out of your life, Nora. At least consider it."

I nodded, leaning into the comfort of his arms for as long as he would allow it, only moving when he shifted in his seat and pulled the keys out of his pocket.

* * *

I stepped into the kitchen where Dean was already sitting at the island with a beer while Lisa paced back and forth in front of him. They were speaking quietly and calmly, though clearly mid-argument and had yet to notice we were home.

"Um…" It was Ben who spoke up, stepping in front of me, almost protectively.

"Go to your room," both Dean and Lisa snapped at us. For a moment, I saw a slight smile play on Dean's lips as he caught a glimpse of Ben, but it faded as soon as it appeared..

"Dean, I'm-," I started.

"I said go to your room, Nora." Dean didn't look at me when he snapped the rolling eyes went unnoticed and Ben and I turned and walked up the stairs, staying quiet, knowing from experience that we could speak freely once we reached the top of the steps.

"Separate rooms, you two!" Lisa called after us.

Ben and I exchanged an annoyed glance, but without a word I backed through his doorway and entered my old room, closing the door behind me.

The room hadn't changed much. It was a little less cluttered than when I had lived there, but boxes labelled with either 'Dean' or 'Nora' were piled in the closet filling up the space that I had cleared when I left. I curled myself up on the bed that had once belonged to me, picking at the coral comforter that had been the source of so much teasing from Dean. I heard muffled versions of Dean's and Ben's voices through the wall that separated our rooms, quiet and calm. I didn't bother to strain and listen in. Instead I closed my eyes and focused on the smell of Jack's cologne, focused on the familiar feeling of the comforter under me and tried to ignore the fact that today threw me off. It made me miss this life.

* * *

"Hey, kiddo." I pulled my eyes up from the spot on the floor where they were focused to look at Dean, but I didn't take my head off the pillow.

"How much trouble am I in?" I asked.

He shook his head as he sat down next to me. "Ben tricked you too, sweetheart. Told me it was all his idea."

"I miss them," I said while bringing up the sleeve of Jack's sweatshirt to wipe at my already wet eyes.

"I know you do." He pushed back the hair that had fallen over my eyes. "Who does this belong to?" Dean tugged on the string of Jack's hoodie.

I shrugged, pulling the string back from him and rolling over on my back. He folded his arms across his chest and shifted his position, getting comfortable as he waited for an answer. I stared at the ceiling in silence for as long as I could manage before pushing myself up against the headboard, putting Jack's hood over my head and pulling my knees to my chest. I had no desire to say his name in Dean's presence.

"You already know." I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as I put my head down against my knees.

"I thought you were done with that."

"I thought you were done with this." I looked up to him with the biting remark, feeling both guilty and entitled while I let the words out.

Annoyance flashed across Dean's face, but only for a moment. "Coming back here was a mistake."

I shrugged my shoulders. "He wants to see me again."

Part of me wanted Dean to tell me no, but I could already feel that he wouldn't. He maintained eye contact for a few seconds before turning towards the window, stroking at the stubble that was typical after a few days dealing with an extensive hunt.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" he asked as he turned back to me.

"Do you?"

Dean rubbed at the back of his neck, his mouth contorting unconsciously as he hemmed and hawed quietly. "I think you need to decide that for yourself, kiddo."

Through squinted eyes, I stared at my big brother. This wasn't his usual way. I couldn't remember him ever saying that I needed to decide something for myself. For a moment, Dean smiled at my quiet awe. "Alright. Quit looking at me like that. Save all those frilly feelings for your other brother."

Though the corners of my lips pulled up into a slight smile at his words, I was filled with a curious dread that I knew I needed to explore. It was childish. I felt like one of those kids who asked they're parents if they could spend the holidays together after a divorce, but I had to hear him say it.

"Are we ever coming back?"

Dean let out a deep exhale and rubbed a hand over his face once more before focusing on me again.

"Probably not." It seemed like he was going to leave it at that and I looked down, away from Dean, focusing my attention on the sweatshirt string.

"It's not safe for them if we stay. It's that simple, kiddo. With all that's happened with you-."

I shot my head up to look at him, not quite giving a glare and he stopped talking. "There's just too much risk, Nora. Even without your stuff. The life isn't for them. It's late, okay? You stay here tonight. Bobby will come get you in the morning."

I nodded, "Where are you going?"

"Back to help Sam clean up this case. We're coming straight to Bobby's once we're finished. Sleep tight, kiddo."

He pushed a lock of hair behind my ear and kissed my temple before heading towards the door.

"Dean?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just sorry you had to come here, I guess."

"It's not your fault. Just get some sleep."

* * *

The room was dark when I woke, startled awake by the noise outside the window. My heart was racing in my chest, sweat beading on my forehead. I took the short steps to the window facing the backyard, pulling back the curtain just enough to see a form in the back yard, slight and pale in the moonlight. It was a girl, maybe my age, maybe a little older. Turning towards me, she smiled. "Help me," she mouthed, her eyes locked on mine.

* * *

I let out a confused whimper when the phone buzzed beside me on the bed, the light flashing in my eyes as they adjusted to the bright screen in the darkness. I fumbled to answer the call and mumbled a sleepy hello as I realized that I had been dreaming. It took me a moment to place myself in the unfamiliar room.

"I can't sleep."

"Jack? What time is it?"

"Two or so. I'm out back."

I slipped out of bed and headed down the stairs, meeting Jack at the back door. "Couldn't sleep or didn't want to?" I smirked at Jack as he pulled me close, folding me into his chest and breathing in my hair. I let myself lean into him, feeling too numb to acknowledge that things were complicated, too numb to acknowledge that this was in no one's best interest. With a finger under my chin, Jack lifted my eyes to meet his.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm leaving in the morning."

Jack took my hand, leading me further onto the lawn, my bare feet feeling cold on the damp grass. He settled onto the hammock Dean had strung up near the patio the summer before, pulling me along with him. Jack didn't speak as I settled against his chest. I felt his chin against my head, his hand on my back, rubbing slow, gentle circles. His heart was beating softly. His breaths became deep and steady, mine matching his as we were both lulled to sleep.


End file.
